(1928: West New York, New Jersey)
A young brunette boy remained alone in his room and heard all of the loud and angry echoes from the outside. He kept sulking at the corner and leaned himself on the wall. The young James Buchanan Barnes has been such constant arguments from his parents which he couldn't tolerate. Everytime they would argue, he locked himself up and never wanted to hear anything.
At the dark evening hours, he heard his father's angry slurred speech which his mother constantly nagging at him to stop drinking. Bucky's intense anger and hatred had consumed when he tightly clenched his right fists. He heard a loud breaking of the wine bottles being crashed and shattered. For Bucky, he couldn't concentrate at his studies and sleep at the moment. It was unbearable to continue his normal routine.
At school in the next day, he was sitting at the distant corner of the classroom and blankly staring at the window. Bucky never paid attention to the teacher nor his classmates and wrote anything on his notebook. His mind drifted off into his daydreams and remained silent. He didn't want anyone to call his attention in reading a passage of the book or answer any questions from them. Bucky had become more uninterested to attend the class. For him, it was like a chore or an obligation, which he didn't want to fulfill.
Without his knowledge, he was being thrown by a chalk on his head when everyone loudly laughed at him. Bucky became more embarrassed, seeing his blonde female teacher standing in front of him.
" James Buchanan Barnes, please read page 236, " she sternly spoke and crossed her both arms. " Have you been staring the fair and sunny weather, today? "
Bucky nervously grinned and instantly picked a book, " The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, " which his classmates were reading. He slowly stood up when they all turned their attention to him. The brunette boy became uneasy as he heard their murmurings and looked at his stern teacher who was glaring at him. He turned to the mentioned page number and cleared his throat.
" It made me shiver. And I about made up my mind to pray, and see if I couldn't try to quit being the kind of a boy I was and be better. So I kneeled down. But the words wouldn't come. Why wouldn't they? It warn't no use to try and hide it from Him. Nor from ME, neither. I knowed very well why they wouldn't come. It was because my heart warn't right; it was because I warn't square; it was because I was playing double. I was letting ON to give up sin, but away inside of me I was holding on to the biggest one of all. I was trying to make my mouth SAY I would do the right thing and the clean thing, and go and write to that nigger's owner and tell where he was; but deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie--I found that out.
So I was full of trouble, full as I could be; and didn't know what to do. At last I had an idea; and I says, I'll go and write the letter--and then see if I can pray. Why, it was astonishing, the way I felt as light as a feather right straight off, and my troubles all gone. So I got a piece of paper and a pencil, all glad and excited, and set down and wrote:
Miss Watson, your runaway nigger Jim is down here two mile below Pikesville, and Mr. Phelps has got him and he will give him up for the reward if you send.
HUCK FINN.
I felt good and all washed clean of sin for the first time I had ever felt so in my life, and I knowed I could pray now. But I didn't do it straight off, but laid the paper down and set there thinking--thinking how good it was all this happened so, and how near I come to being lost and going to hell. And went on thinking. And got to thinking over our trip down the river; and I see Jim before me all the time: in the day and in the night-time, sometimes moonlight, sometimes storms, and we a-floating along, talking and singing and laughing. But somehow I couldn't seem to strike no places to harden me against him, but only the other kind. I'd see him standing my watch on top of his'n, 'stead of calling me, so I could go on sleeping; and see him how glad he was when I come back out of the fog; and when I come to him again in the swamp, up there where the feud was; and such-like times; and would always call me honey, and pet me and do everything he could think of for me, and how good he always was; and at last I struck the time I saved him by telling the men we had small-pox aboard, and he was so grateful, and said I was the best friend old Jim ever had in the world, and the ONLY one he's got now; and then I happened to look around and see that paper.
It was a close place. I took it up, and held it in my hand. I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to myself:
"All right, then, I'll GO to hell"--and tore it up."
The teacher nodded at him and said, " Thank you, James. Please seat down. "
Bucky followed the instruction as he sat down and closed his book. Returning to his window staring moment, he was pondering at those words he read. Slowly realizing, he needed to do the right and clean thing in his hellish situation at home, but he couldn't do it all by himself. He deeply sighed and watched the bird freely flying in the skies. All he wanted was to break the darkness.
Hours later, he headed himself home and left the school building. Bucky wanted to go somewhere else, avoiding his parents' unending conflict. He slowly walked around the streets and took his time to unwind himself after unwillingly attending the class like a zombie. He kept walking around, until something caught his attention. It was a poster of an old man with a top hat and pointing at the viewer remaining stuck on the wall, however the poster edges were worn out. Bucky intently looked at it and kept reflecting in a couple of minutes.
" Maybe when I grow older I could join the Army, " he smiled and said to himself.
Without any awareness, an elderly man with glasses stood beside him and held a cane. Bucky was surprised to see him when he was about to step back. The man gave him a laugh and gently petted his brunette locks.
" I was just like you when I was your age, a shy boy, " he calmly said and ceased his laughter. " I dreamed to be a soldier and joined the Army. "
" Okay..." Bucky raised his tone and doubtfully asked. " Have you became one of them and fought the war? "
" Oh, yes. I did! The First World War in Europe! I kept fighting for my fellow soldiers. It was fun! " he smiled and changed his tone and facial expression into a serious one. " But it was sad that we lost some of our brave ones. "
" I see. Then, you left the Army? "
" Well, yeah. I am taking my retirement, Kid. An old man like me can't handle those wild things anymore, but I know you can fight better than anyone else! "
" I hope so..."
" Anyways, keep on dreaming and making it happen! "
" I will..."
The old man waved his hands at the boy when Bucky waved back at him. They parted their ways as he kept walking on the streets. Suddenly, he saw his father in the other side of the street where he was standing at the pub and drinking a bottle of beer. Bucky noticed him talking to a group of men and some women who were loudly laughing from a distance. The boy's hatred grew more intense than ever which he remembered how his father hurt his mother. He angrily gritted his teeth and clenched his both fists, wanting to confront him, however he immediately walked away.
Reaching and entering home, he saw his mother who busied herself cooking at the kitchen. Bucky noticed the scars and bruises on her skin. They became more numerous than what he had seen before. His mother turned to him and instantly hugged him. Then, he placed his arms around her. She was instantly sobbing and wailing at him. Her dark curly hair touched her son's shoulders. Bucky felt sorry for her and remained silent, waiting for her to be pacified.
Moments later, Bucky was eating his dinner on the table as his mother rarely touched her food. He looked at her with a concern and thought of cheering her up and making her to eat.
" Mom..." he awkwardly called her attention and nervously chuckled. " I just want you to know that...Broccoli makes me fart! That's why I don't wanna eat them! Get it? Get it? "
His mother was dumbfounded at her son's joke and finding it difficult to comprehend. She was not interested to hear another when Bucky cringed and shamefully bowed his head when he continued eating and finished his meal.
" Right, I guess I should place the dishes into the sink and go to bed. You're gonna wait for Dad, aren't you? "
She instantly took her son's hand and gave him a stare. Bucky was surprised to see her sudden act and never realized it happening. He was still looking at her with concern.
" Mom, is there anything you can tell me? " he curiously asked.
" Bucky, let's get out of here! " she stressed her words.
" What are you talking about? Is it Dad still hurting you? Tell me, what's wrong? "
" Yes. "
" I know, he's still drinking, " he answered and turned to the empty beer bottles scattered on the floor. " Why did he hurt you? Tell me? "
" When you were reaching ten years old, he lost his job at the factory. Your father and I had a talk about it. He decided to find a job, but he didn't make it and spent searching on the streets looking for it. He found a job as a janitor, but he remained for few months and got fired. I told him that I would find a job, instead, but he got mad and told me, I couldn't do it. That's why we kept arguing about money and telling him to find one. "
" Did he promise you? "
" Yes. "
" How long have you been like that? "
" Eighteen months..."
Hearing her mother's answers, Bucky had discovered the truth from his mother. His anger is grown into the wildest extent as he wanted to hurt his father. The boy had also known that his old man was lying to his family, since he found his father had gone with a group of people, neglecting his family. He heavily sighed and thought of speaking it up.
" Mom, there's something you should know too, " he broke his silence. " I saw him going with a group of people and drinking when I was on my way home from school. He has lied to us! He doesn't really care about us at all! You're right, let's get out of here! I can't take it anymore when you guys fight! Let's find somewhere else to stay! "
" All right, then. Let's pack our things together, we'll stay at my sister's place for the meantime, " she answered.
" I don't think he's coming home, ever, but what if? "
" We have to make it quick before he comes home. "
" Right. "
The mother and son spent packing their things when they spent minutes into hours. Finally, they brought their belongings and left the house. They kept walking on the streets and going on their way to the relative's house five blocks away. The night was colder when they felt a strong breeze coming to them. Suddenly, they saw the drunk head of the family who walked over to them three steps and two steps backward.
" WINNIFRED WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?! HOW DARE YOU LEAVING THE HOUSE! I TOLD YOU TO STAY THERE! " he sharply retorted in a slurred speech.
" It's over, George, " Winnifred Barnes answered. " I can't take your foolish troubles anymore! Bucky and I are leaving whether you like it or not! "
" I am gonna find a job! I promised you that, Winnie! "
" You lied to us! Bucky just saw where you have been! I'm tired of your empty promises! "
George's face crossed when he heard the harshest truth from his wife. He clenched his fists and readied himself to beat her up, rushing towards her. Bucky sternly glared at his estranged father and lost his love and respect towards him, despite the troubles he made to the family. The brunette boy instantly pushed him in defense to his mother and stepped on his right foot. George excruciatingly yelled in pain and never realized his son would do it.
" YOU SON OF A..."
" Mom, let's get out of here! " Bucky cried.
The mother and son had quickly left the scene when George remained alone on the sidewalk. The bystanders glared at him and murmured. Finally, they were free from the horrors and miseries they had experienced for more than a year.
(1940: US Army Station Fort Hamilton: Brooklyn, New York, 11pm)
" From then on, I spent living with my aunt for few months before my mom went to California and had a job. She visited me and my grandparents every Christmas and summer. There were times I visited her too. Then, I decided to live there and made my Army training, " Bucky continued.
" I'm glad you and her were no longer in that hellhole, " Steve replied and sat on the chair.
" Yeah, it was a great relief. I had no news about him after the divorce. "
" Was Mrs. Barnes still living and remarried? "
Bucky sadly sighed and bowed his head, as he answered, " No, she passed away after I got enlisted. "
" I'm sorry to hear that, " Steve said. " I know how that feels to lose one. "
" Right. I guess we have both in common, " the brunette man concluded and changed the topic. " Oh, by the way, how's Nancy? "
Steve refused to answer his friend's question and understood what he found out earlier and got dismayed. Bucky waited for him to answer and drank his water.
" She's getting married soon. Wish her luck to that guy, " the blonde soldier spoke and brushed-off the topic. " Anyways, let's get some sleep, we'll be having our first operation tomorrow. "
" Yeah, right. Let's sleep it off, " Bucky nodded and returned to his bunk to sleep when Steve turned off the lights and settled to his bunk.