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Chapter 4

He twirls his razor in his hand, contemplating what to do. The tremors aren't bad this morning, but he also doesn't want to spend the day with nicks all over his face.

He exhales, leaning over the sink.

Be gentle with yourself.

Her voice rings in his head and he inhales deeply through his nose and out through his mouth. Meeting his gaze in the mirror, he decides that the slight beard he has isn't that terrible and places his razor back in the dish.

Exiting his bathroom, he grabs his watch off of his night stand and his jacket on the end of the bed. He already feels like his day is off to a better start, and he smiles to himself as he down the stairs. Surprisingly, he's the first one up and he takes the few minutes of silence to figure out how to use his new teapot.

He fills it with water and places it on the stove. The tea Cassie had given him is tucked in the canisters that used to hold his coffee and he sniffs them in an attempt to figure out which one to steep.

He has no idea.

Reaching for his phone, he dials her number.

"Morning Sam," she greats brightly.

"Morning...I hope it's not too early."

"Not at all...I'm just sitting here on the back swing enjoying a cup of tea."

They had spent most of the evening last night on that swing, talking like they had when they'd first met. It had left him grounded in a way he hadn't been in a long while, and he was grateful for her. "Then I guess my timing is perfect. What tea is the best to jumpstart my day?"

She laughs lightly over the phone. "I'm afraid I didn't give you anything caffeinated."

He groans, and she laughs some more. "What about the stuff that tastes like coffee?"

"I thought the point was to cut outcaffeine?"

Rubbing his forehead, he nods. "You're enjoying this." He can practically hear her smile over the phone and it tugs out one of his one.

"I'm part of your support system, remember? I'm here to keep you on track."

He clings to the seriousness in her words that's just below the teasing note in her voice. "I'm grateful that you are."

There's a pause over the phone before she speaks. "Try the rooibos; it's heart healthy and will keep your stomach settled."

"Ok."

"...and once you've got your tea ready, I'd love some company."

Her invitation surprises him a bit. "Are you sure?"

"There's not much I think either of us are sure of these days, Sam," she answers truthfully. "I do know that last night was just what I needed...and I'm sure of that."

"It's just what I needed too." The kettle whistles on his stove. "I'll be over in a few minutes."

"Ok."

He hangs up, staring at his phone for a minute.

"Good morning," Linda greets, breezing into the kitchen. "Where were you last night? I didn't even hear you and Nick get in."

Sam doesn't mention the empty bottle of wine he noticed in the recycle last night. "Cassie invited me over for dinner...Nick was working on a project with some friends; it was a little late when I picked him and Grace up."

She sniffs the canisters of tea on the counter, frowning. "Would it have impeded on your dinner to tell me that? A text would have sufficed, Sam."

The stairs groan and Nick is bounding down them, turning the corner into the kitchen. "Morning," he greets, going to the fridge.

"Morning honey," Linda greets. "Are you hungry? I can make you some breakfast?"

"Nah, I'm good...I'm running late anyway..."

He caps his travel mug, leaning against the counter.

"Are you sure? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Linda fusses. "Tell him, Sam!"

Linda pins him with a glare and he relents. "It's the most important meal of the day."

"I'll grab something at the Bistro on the way...I really gotta go." He slings his bag over his shoulder. "I'll see you guys later."

Linda attempts to fuss over Nick some more, only he side steps her and dashes down the hall and out the door. "What's with him today?"

Grabbing his jacket off of the back of the chair, he slings it on. "You're smothering him."

"Well at least one of us is," She bites out. "While you were off with your questionable girlfriend, Nick was out all hours of the night doing god knows what!"

She's baiting him for an argument; she's pushed all the right buttons and she knows it. "I'm not going to argue with you, Linda, nor am I going to dignify what you've just said with reason. I'm leaving. Have a good day."

"Sam, I'm not done talking about this!" She calls after him.

"I am!" He calls back.

She follows him down the hallway and he grabs his bag, scooping his keys from the dish on the end table. He stops short of the door, turning to face her. "Look; I don't want to argue with you. When you want to tell me why you're really here, I'll listen...have a good day."

Linda's face contorts in confusion and he closes the door behind him.

...

She senses his presence and it's calmer than it has been in days. He let's himself in through the fence in her backyard, and she smiles at the travel mug in his hand. "Morning," she greets.

Setting his bag and jacket in one of the empty chairs of her patio set, he takes a deep breath. "Morning," he greets back on an exhale.

His irritation is right there below the surface, but she can also feel it dissipating from his body. "Want to talk about it?"

Sam crosses the deck, sitting on the swing beside her. "I don't think I do...let's talk about something else."

She holds his gaze for a few minutes, before letting it go. "How's your tea?"

"Terrible."

She laughs, and the smile reaches his eyes. His hand rests on her knee as he takes a sip. It's a reflexive gesture on his part and it stirs something familiar inside of her. She had felt last night when they stood shoulder to shoulder in her kitchen cutting vegetables. She felt it in the way they sat across from each other at her dining room table, eating. It was in the way he welcomed her into his arms as he rocked them on the swing.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He questions.

A sense of deja-vu overwhelms her. "You've said that before." "I have...do you remember when?"

She shakes her head. "It's more like deja-vu..." His thumb sweeps gently back and forth across her knee and it sends a jolt of electricity up her body. "Sam...tell me more about what happened?"

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "About Weld?"

"No...about us. What happened between us." Her question has taken him off guard and she smiles a little. "It's not a trick question."

He smiles too. "I don't know what you want me to tell you...after Weld vandalized Grey House, you and Grace came to stay with Nick and I..."

"...we grew close...I can...feel it between us."

"Yeah, we did...where is this coming from, Cassie?"

"I don't know," she answers truthfully. "Everything just...feels so different between us."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Worry has settled in his eyes and she takes his hand that's on her knee in her own. "No, not at all," she clarifies. "I feel like I'm...being split in two when I'm with you."

"What do you mean?"

She takes a minute to gather her thoughts, and he weaves his fingers with hers. "It's this, right here," she gestures to their joined hands. "I don't have any memories of us holding hands like this, but in my heart...in my soul...I feel you, Sam...I feel like two different people and I guess what I'm saying is that I need to know what happened between us...I need to know so I can place what it is I'm feeling."

He exhales audibly. "I'm not expecting things to be the same way between us, Cassie-"

"-Sam, please," she cuts off. "This is so incredibly frustrating and-"

"-alright." His hand snakes through her hair to the nape of her neck, and he's bringing her mouth to his before she can get another word in.

This kiss is unlike the one they shared the night prior on the same swing. His lips are sure in what they want and that's her. "You spent every night in my arms," he breathes between kisses. "Woke up next to me every morning." His mouth nudges hers open and his tongue seeks out her own boldly. "I told you that I loved you." He deepens the kiss and she can feel her body reacting, quivering from the inside out. "And you said it back." His hand hooks under her thigh, bringing her to straddle his lap. "When the time was right..." Framing her face, he pulls back, meeting her gaze. "We made love. I've memorized every inch of your body just like I have every medical book in my office."

Her breathing is unsteady at best and she places her hands tentatively on his chest. Her body immediately responds to his words, her nipples tightening, a familiar ache between her thighs. She can feel the heat flush her face. "...every inch?" She squeaks out.

Sam brushes the hair from her shoulders, letting his hands slide down her back. "Every beautiful, glorious, breath taking inch, Cassie."

His chest is firm under her palms and she resists the urge let her hands roam. Straddling him like this, only draws more attention to what she knows is beneath her.

It's overwhelming.

She quickly unravels herself from his arms, climbing off the swing putting space between them. Her heart is racing and there's an ache throughout her entire body that she somehow knows only he can satisfy.

"I've said too much-"

"-No," she quickly cuts off. "No...I'm just..."

Turned on.

He unfurls from the swing, slowly approaching her and the fluid way in which he moves causes the breath to hitch in her throat. "Sam..."

"...I've gotten pretty good at learning your tells," he admits. "...the flush in your cheeks..." He brushes her hair away from her neck. "This vein that pulses..."

His fingers skim her skin and she quickly swallows the moan that nearly escapes her lips.

"...then there's these..." He lets his thumb brush gently against her breast and the hardened peak hidden beneath the padding of her bra. "...I love hearing you moan when I tease them with my mouth."

"Sam." It comes out entirely to breathy and needy and she feels a little light headed.

"Tell me what you want from me, Cassie."

"Right now?" She whispers.

"This very minute."

"...my body wants you."

"And your head?"

"Has conveniently left me."

He nods, taking a step back. She exhales.

"...what you're feeling now, Cassie, only came from the relationship we've built, honey...we both need that to be solid before anything else."

Her heart has settled to a somewhat reasonable pace and she can think a little more clearly. She remembers their relationship up until the festival and she remembers what they were on the precept of: something magical. "I want that."

A small smile crosses his lips, reaches his eyes. "We'll get there...promise."

Tbc