L didn't have the strength to push himself up off his bed and trudge back downstairs to continue his search for Light. He'd barely slept or eaten in the last few days, and the adrenaline which kept him going was now slowly disappearing from his system. He felt exhausted and hungry, and he's still nowhere near finding Light. His husband, trapped with Merikh somewhere in Japan and L, the world's greatest detective, couldn't find anything which would lead the task force to finally making an arrest, to bring Merikh to justice. Being without Light made L realise how much he depended on his husband, how often he'd turn to Light for support only to find him not there. Light wasn't just his husband, but a part of himself that he needed to continue functioning as a normal human being. Without Light, L dreads to think what type of person he might be. Would he still be the person he uses to be when they first met, the person Light called him out on.

"You're not as impressive as you believe you are," Kira said. L paused from his incessant typing to look at his roommate, who'd slammed the door shut behind him. "They all look at you as if you hung the stars in the sky because you are the world's greatest detective, but that's all you have to you. Matt can build anything he puts his mind to, A's a mathematical prodigy, whilst all you can do is put a couple of people behind bars. You don't even help the police force who are struggling. All you do is sit at that computer and scroll through cases that interest you and solve them by belittling those you're working with. I'm surprised detective agencies still employ your services. You act as if you're above everyone else here, including your own brother; it's pathetic."

"My behaviour is none of your concern," L said, turning away from Kira. Kira scoffed, storming over to L, yanking his chair away from his desk.

"You sit like you're a constipated frog, for what a little more brainpower or is that you're secret unless you sit like this, you're stupider than the rest of us. The children at Wammy's look up to you as a role model, act like one. If you prefer staying locked away in this room, then maybe you should leave; heaven knows you have enough money to afford your own mansion, let alone a house. People like you don't belong here. Our families have already neglected and hurt us. We don't need the same thing from people who are meant to understand us." with that, Kira turned away from L and stormed out of the room.

L had resented Light for that for many months after. Light at the time didn't know what L and his brother had suffered through at the hands of their parents, and drawing himself away from others had been L's way of protecting himself from making attachments to others and eventually getting hurt from them; he even withdrew from his own brother. L believed he'd never connect with anyone at all, yet Light smashed through his barriers and dragged him from his comfort zone, kicking and screaming. And what could L do but fall in love with him even if at the time L himself wasn't aware of the drastic changes to his feelings for his roommate? The more he thinks about it, the first time L truly realised the extent of his feelings are for his fellow detective (who'd at the time he'd barely been in a friends-with-benefits type relationship for the last six months) was around the time Near came to Wammy's. L himself hadn't been present for the big confrontation between Light and Wammy, for the state Near had turned up in. Still, he had witnessed the ever-growing bond building between them over a matter of days. Then there was the moment L asked Light out. He can remember it so vividly as if it had only happened yesterday; he'd been so nervous. More nervous than he'd been when he proposed.

L had dragged Kira out of Wammy's into London to the London Eye. It wasn't the most romantic place he came up with when he decided he wanted to ask Kira out, but Kira expressed never going on it. It wasn't often children from Wammy's really left the orphanage, so, under the guise of completing something every person who lives or visits London should do. And with the need to keep L's identity safe and secret, Kira didn't bat an eyelash when they get a compartment all to themselves. L planned this to the last detail. Where they'd go, what he's saying and what he'd do, whether Kira said either yes or no. However, staring at Kira, who is looking over the city in awe as they slowly travelled higher and higher. All words escaped him.

"It's beautiful; I've seen nothing so stunning." Kira gasped as he tore his eyes from the view to look at the other. "thank you for bringing me here, L… L? Why are you staring at me like that?".

For the first time in L's life, his brain failed him as he barely splutters out, "I… would like to… go out with you."

Kira just stared at him, eyes wide. "Are you asking me out on a date, like an actual date?"

L nodded. Had he been less shellshocked from the effect Kira had on him, L would enjoy seeing Kira looking bewildered with a red blush coating his cheeks. Kira looked down at the floor, the red blush deepening as he seems to mentally weighing up his options, his choices before looking at L with a broad and genuine smile on his face.

"Okay," Kira said, the smile widening before returning his gaze to the view.

L sighed, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He's never felt so defeated; his beautiful Light is somewhere in Japan going through who knows what at the hands of Merikh, and L isn't capable enough to find him. L vowed to protect Light from any harm, whether it be at the hands of his father or a killer they're investigating, and he's failed. L's failed as a detective, he's failed as a work partner, and more importantly, L's failed as a husband. Clinging to Light's pillow, drawing it up to his chest and shoving his face into it, L inhaled a deep breath. It still contained Light's scent, mixed with his shampoo and cologne. L let his eyes slide shut; he needed rest; he needed to sleep, and once he's fully recharged, he'll go over everything, he'll keep searching, and L will find Light.


Light wasn't sure how long it's been since Merikh kidnapped him; with the windows boarded up, he couldn't track the movement of time. Teru and Higuchi would appear at some point trying to convince, beat and threaten L's name or location from him, but Light refuses to break. He couldn't; he wouldn't; he's stronger than they would ever expect. They could punch, hit, and break his bones and despite that, Light refuses to give up. He can see they are slowly reaching the end of their tether with the little progress they are making with him that Light has wondered frequently whether this time they would kill him. Still, each time they would walk away disappointed whilst Light internally catalogued any recent injuries to add to his slowly growing list. Over the time they have kidnapped him, he has a broken nose, bruised and probably broken ribs with a broken right arm and countless broken fingers. Light could've also lost a tooth, but he wasn't entirely sure whether it happened, or he'd been delirious and dreamt it at that point.

His face is swollen with dried up blood staining underneath his nose and around his mouth, but the fighting spirit remained in his amber eyes, glaring at Higuchi as he clenched his knuckles.

"Tell. Me. L's. Name" Higuchi shouted with each word his attacker's fist connected with his cheek. Light didn't know how long this had been going on for; Higuchi's recent interrogation, Teru stood patiently by the door, watching.

"Kyosuke, this bastard's silence is provoking you," Teru said. Finally, ending his self-imposed silence to lightly pull his partner away from Light, "Go outside, take a break, then come back inside when you've cleared your head."

For a moment, it didn't look like Higuchi was going to leave. His eyes glared at Light as if his stare would finally break Light's will, but reluctantly Higuchi stormed out of the cabin, slamming the door behind him.

"Don't you have anything you want to say; you will die one way or another. Kyosuke and I will reign as gods over this wasteland, deleting all the vermin it contains. Anyone who believes they can stop us will also perish," Teru said. Light couldn't help but start laughing; his cheeks ached from the repeated torment they've been suffering over these last few days.

"You don't get it; you beg and threaten as if this is the worst thing I've experienced. Why would I talk when I may hold the one thing you desperately need? The longer I maintain my silence, the more time L has to find me, and he will arrest you. Soon enough, the police will break down this door and save me; I can heal from these wounds when you rot in prison for the rest of your lives alongside the people you judged and murdered," Light said, smirking.

"No! You don't get it; we can use the death note to kill you after forcing you to tell us L's name or location; you will die. If you cooperate, then at least you have a choice in how you end your life," Teru said; Light laughed again.

"Had that been the case, you wouldn't have waited around. I would be dead by now, but one of the other things keeping me alive is that you don't know my name. I've seen the rules of the death note, and you can't kill me unless you know my name and picture my face when writing it in the death note, and without that name, you're powerless. You won't kill me because you need me." Light laughed. He's never seen something so pathetic as Merikh had slowly become in the passaging time in his capture. "You want to know something, Teru. You better hope that L is the one to find you. After all, if my children come looking for me, then prison will look like an all-inclusive luxury holiday once they've finished with you."


Matt pulled off his headphones, dropping them onto the desk, swivelling his chair around to look at his boyfriend. After returning from dumping L into a room, Mello started pacing. Making call after call to his contacts, pulling any favour to get any information on where Merikh could've hidden Light.

"Mello", Matt started. Drawing his boyfriend's attention to him along with Near and the remaining task force members who weren't ordered into a role meant they had to leave task force headquarters. "I've found him."