The flying camera was a shot in the dark. Something Matt had been messing about for the last few months, hoping when Mello becomes a detective, then Matt can assist with locating and tracking suspects. Beyond and Matsuda were struggling to track down either Higuchi and Teru. However, the Merikh duo kept themselves on the down low, avoiding their workplaces and the registered place of address. They didn't have the resources from the police; they couldn't risk revealing the names of Teru and Higuchi to the NPA for it to accidentally getting leaked to the press. The second Merikh discovered L knew who they were; then they would quickly kill Light then flee. It wasn't something they could risk; they couldn't risk Light.
The flying camera only by chance caught Teru sneaking out of his place of work and into a car. Obviously, they aren't risking using the vehicles registered in their own names. They somehow could hire a car using a fake name. Money is the biggest motivator, and Higuchi had plenty of it. He'd probably waved a sizeable chunk of money at a car hire service to convince the owner or employee to hire a car off the records. But now he's found one of them; he can track them. Carefully, Matt anchored the flying camera onto Teru's vehicle, tagging a ride to his destination. An old abandoned cabin in the middle of nowhere. Matt's heart jumped for joy at the thought that he'd found Light in hours of their arrival to Japan. Teru pushed the cabin door open, greeting Higuchi, who was already inside.
Matt's heart dropped into the depths of his stomach. They always suspected Merikh kidnapping Light. They would torture him to get L's name or location from him, yet seeing the result of Light's suffering is much worse. This was a man who'd been there for Matt when he needed him the most; they may joke how Light acted like Near's mother most of the time yet, Light didn't just take Near under his wing when the white-haired boy ended up at Wammy's. Light became Wammy's universal mum. He looked after the new arrivals, got them settled in, helping them come up with their alternative names, and advised them when they needed it the most. Light always knew what to say, what to do, how to stop a fight. No one wanted to disappoint him. They wanted to become the best of themselves, the person Light saw in them. Light always made time for them, even when he's working hard on all his unsolved cases. L travelled when needed when Light stayed behind. He didn't have the intermediary of Watari; he addressed the police detectives, working with them alongside running into Wammy's house. If you asked anyone who lived at Wammy's who really oversaw the orphanage, then they'd all point to Light. Roger may deal with the paperwork aspect, but Light poured his heart and soul into running the place, protecting, nurturing, and cherishing all the children who lived inside those walls. No one felt abandoned anymore. No one felt forgotten. Light made sure of that.
When Matt first acknowledged his feelings for Mello, Light was the first person he turned to, the first person he confided in.
"What's with that look on your face, Matty," Kira asked, pulling out the chair beside him. Recently Matt has taken to hiding in the countless empty classrooms at Wammy's; he couldn't be around Mello currently. Each time he looked at the blonde-haired boy, his heart felt like it wanted to climb out his chest and become a permanent resident in his throat. Matt's never had feelings for anyone before, and… he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to abandon Mello suddenly, but at the same time, he didn't know how to act around him anymore. Being by himself, away from the source of his problems, was the best option he had. Of course, Matt should've expected Kira to find him eventually, ever since Mello and Light bounded over something or other. Mello would always approach Kira for advice whenever he had a problem. Matt probably counted as a problem, having your best friend suddenly ghost you when (to them) nothing is wrong.
"It's nothing," Matt muttered, unsure whether he can really confide in Kira as Mello does. Will Kira treat him the same way if he knew the reason why Matt is suddenly avoiding Mello.
"It isn't nothing, Matty. Mello's worried that's he lost his best friend because of something he's done, but he can't think of anything he's done recently which could've upset you. I know you, Matt, you wouldn't suddenly start avoiding Mello for no reason, so what's happened," Kira said, placing a hand on Matt's arm. "You know you can tell me anything; if you want to keep it a secret, I promise I won't tell Mello."
"I don't want to force you to keep secrets from Mello", Matt said; he didn't want Kira to feel at odds keeping secrets from Mello. Kira liked Mello more than he liked Matt.
"Well, tough. I'm not leaving you alone until I know what's upsetting you like this. I care about you too, Matt; I'm not asking because Mello asked me to. I'm asking because I'm worried about you," Kira said, and Matt felt mad for even making Kira worry about him. Matt couldn't deal with his conflicted emotions like a normal person.
"I-I can't be around Mello. It's too difficult. M-my heart pounds in my chest like it's trying to escape my ribcage, and… words get stuck in my throat whenever I'm with him. I've never felt like this before for anyone. I've fallen in love with him, I know I have, but I can't tell him that," Matt whispered, he spoke so quietly he couldn't be sure if Kira heard him, yet the look of joy on his face showed Kira had heard him.
An enormous grin broke out on Kira's face before he said, "Ask him out."
"I can't," Matt said, shaking his head.
"You can, and I'll help you," Kira said. "Matt, listen, if L can work up the courage to ask me out, then you are more than capable of confessing your feelings for Mello."
"I doubt he'd feel the same way. All I'm capable of doing is playing video games. I can't ask someone out; I wouldn't even know where to begin" Matt sighed. Asking Mello out would be an impossible task. One, Matt wasn't sure whether Mello even had feelings for him; he's never shown that he's interested in Matt more than a friend. And two, deep down, Matt knew he's a coward. He doesn't have the confidence to confess his feelings to the boy he loves.
"As I said, I'll help you. I want you happy, and I want Mello happy. Which you aren't currently," Kira said, pulling Matt to his feet, "And I'd think you'd be surprised with Mello's actual response."
"But..." Matt said, trying to think of a reason to why Kira shouldn't be helping him, why they shouldn't be doing this, but any excuse died on the tip of his tongue from the glare Kira shot his way.
"No buts," Kira said, pulling Matt from the empty classroom by his arm with no choice but to follow.
The blank face Matt fought so hard to keep in place broke. Tears trickled down his cheeks. Matt pulled off his headphones, dropping them onto the desk, swivelling his chair around to look at his boyfriend. Mello is pacing in the middle of the room, his phone glued to his ear as he pulled any favour he had. Matt took a moment to stare at the man he loved. His eyes drifting over his blonde hair and the ridiculous leather outfit he insisted he wore daily. Matt couldn't even begin to think what he would do had Mello being in Light's position. Would he break like L and stop functioning properly, spending countless hours staring at a screen looking lost, hoping something he comes across would be the lead they needed to locate this lost love. Would he be reckless and storm in there with no plan, or would he be methodical by planning every minor detail? Matt isn't sure what he'd do in this situation, but what he can be sure of is he's going to try his hardest to prevent himself or Mello from ever falling into this situation.
"Mello", Matt started. Drawing his boyfriend's attention to him along with Near and the remaining task force members who weren't ordered into a role meant they had to leave task force headquarters. "I've found him."
Mello froze; it's like his legs suddenly turned to lead and glued him to the spot. The words coming out of Matt's mouth should fill him with joy; they'd located his mother, they can save his mother and bring him home yet, why in the corner of his mind, why did those words fill him with dread. Matt's voice was monotone; it withheld any emotion his boyfriend might be feeling. Does that mean Mello should prepare for the worse? Is Light dead? Will he look at the computer screen to find Light's dead body, another victim of Merikh. That's a reality Mello didn't want to face; he didn't want to live in a world without his mother. Light's always been there for him even when Mello tried to push him away.
"I heard you got into another fight today," Kira said, pushing open the door to Mello's bedroom and stepping inside. Mello glared at him from his bed. "This is the fourth one this week, and it's only Wednesday. What's wrong, Mello?".
Mello huffed, turning his back to the detective in favour of staring at the wall. "What's it to you, anyway?".
"I'm worried and concerned about you. I know you, Mello; I've known you since you were six; this isn't like you. What's wrong?" Kira said.
"Just leave me alone!" Mello shouted, snatching his pillow from his bed and threw it at Kira, who quickly caught it and dropped it onto Matt's empty bed.
"I'm not leaving you, Mello, not when you're hurting," Kira said, walking over to his bed, perching himself on end. "Matt's worried about you, but every time he brings it up to you, you shrugged him off."
"You're not my mother; why the hell do you care?" Mello snapped. Kira sighed.
"No, I'm not. That doesn't mean I don't care about you, Mello," Kira said, but Mello immediately dismissed it. Who would care about him? The poor abandoned child left to fend for himself. He doesn't need anyone to look after him; he can protect himself. He doesn't need Matt. He doesn't Wammy's. And be especially doesn't need Kira!
"You don't care about me. Near is who you genuinely care about; you don't give a shit about me," Mello said. They've all seen it. The special treatment Near has. Kira treats him like he's a cut above everybody else. Near this, Near that. Ugh, it makes Mello sick. It's never 'Mello; I'm so proud of you or Mello what you've created is brilliant'. Everyone knows that in the mind of Kira - Near will always come first.
"That's not true! I care about both of you equally," Kira said before letting out another sigh, "come with me."
Mello opened his mouth to argue, but one glare from Kira made him shut it quickly before reluctantly getting to his feet and shuffled out his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Kira sent him another look but didn't say anything. Instead, he guided Mello to L's wing of Wammy's. All children, on multiple occasions, have been told they couldn't enter L's wing in case they distract the detective from his "important" cases (though it's not like L is here half the time. Always dashing around the world solving cold and complex cases after another). Ever since Kira (against his better judgment) started dating L, he'd permanently moved into L's wing, working side-by-side on cases. However, unlike his anti-social boyfriend. Kira enjoyed being around people. Spending his days (when he's not acting as the world's second greatest detective) with the children of Wammy's, looking after and helping them whenever they need him. We quickly established Kira as the go-to or mother figure of their orphanage. Something Roger nor Wammy couldn't disagree with. Kira is Wammy's most trusted and involved person. Roger struggles to connect with children who are way more intelligent than he is, whilst Wammy focuses on his role as Watari and supporting him L.
"Whenever I get angry because of my past or L, I come here," Kira said. Pushing the double doors open, revealing a gym filled with treadmills, some stationary bikes, a rowing machine, a punching bag, and plenty of different sizes of weights. This gym has exercise machines that Mello could only dream about using, compared to the pathetic thing they have downstairs. It shows that L has access to the best whilst the rest of Wammy's have the hand-me-downs.
"Well, this gives us insight," Mello muttered, picking up the nearest weight before dropping it onto the ground, "No wonder Wammy doesn't want us in here."
"I know. I'm not impressed with how different L is treated compared to the rest of Wammy's. We should nurture every child and their abilities. Just because L is the world's greatest detective, one person shouldn't be more important than others." Kira sighed. He tried his best to make the children feel like they weren't anything less than L. The children didn't need to become his successor just to prove themselves. The kids at Wammy's had already been through enough as it is. Kira has been through enough during his childhood that he understands. He knows what it's like to be abandoned by those meant to keep you safe, by those who should help and look after you when you need it. "L likes luxury but doesn't understand there is a fine line between having something because you need it or owning it because you have the money to buy it. This doesn't make his life any better; he just had the money to buy it."
"Why bring me here?" Mello asked if Wammy caught them here. Mello, at least, would be in big trouble. Kira, L's boyfriend, had access to these things, and it didn't matter whether Kira brought Mello here. Mello wasn't allowed in this room; Mello wasn't wanted here.
"Because you're hurting, and you don't have an effective outlet. Those who pick on you fuel your anger. You lash out to protect yourself when, in fact, whatever they're saying to get a reaction is proving their point," Kira said. He hooked a punching bag to the ceiling before grabbing a pair of boxing gloves and handing them over to Mello. "What are they saying, which is upsetting you?"
"It doesn't matter," Mello said. He didn't want to talk about it because talking meant acknowledging what they were saying was right. Mello didn't belong here; he was meant to die that day. The firefighters rescued him from his burning house; they were meant to save his brother, the child his parents adored.
"I know what it feels like to never be enough, always striving to be better, to live up to these impossible ideals that someone has put on you. Mello, you push people away because you're scared to let anyone in… when I was a little boy, it was clear I was intelligent. From that day forward, my parents, my teachers, anyone who knew me pushed me. Tried to make myself better, smarter, cleaver, the best person I could be. I was forced to take a test after test when I was four. I sat through high school exams at five to prove my intelligence. I wasn't allowed to be a little kid; I wasn't allowed a childhood. My father expected the best, and that was what I had to be, and if I didn't live up to his expectations, I was punished, abused, starved. I couldn't eat at the dinner table with my parents. I had to study in front of them. Food was locked away, so I couldn't sneak down in the night to get a snack when I hadn't eaten for the entire day. My father beat me when I didn't get 100% on exams. No one saw I was suffering because I wasn't human anymore from the day they labeled me a genius. I was a thing to be looked upon, a display in the museum to be paraded around for all to see. I was an object used to boost my father's reputation that he made a genius son. That he was the alpha male because his genes were superior to everyone else," Kira said. Mello felt a lump grow in his throat as he listened, as Mello discovered that someone like Kira had suffered similarly to him.
"Listen, I know our circumstances won't be identical. I can't say that I suffered more than you when I don't know what happened before you came to Wammy's, but I understand what it's like to go through hell and come out the other side broken. To fight everyone who tries to help, but they couldn't possibly understand what you went through." Kira smiled. "You don't have to tell me; I won't force you. But I care about you Mello. Let me be your surrogate mother, if you will. I'll be there for you now, no matter the circumstances of your past. And whether you wish to talk about it, you can't let it control your actions now. You need to find a suitable outlet for your anger, which isn't getting into fights every day. So, put the boxing gloves on, take your anger out on an object first. Picture the cause of your pain, of your anger and punch the bag. Let your emotions out in a controllable environment. When these bullies try to anger you again, you walk away, come here, and let your anger out. Don't give them the satisfaction of winning every time. You walk away; even if it feels like running, you're showing that you're stronger than they are. Take that power they have over you and use it against them. Now punch the bag! Mello, punch it!"
And Mello did. Raising his hand, bringing it down hard against the punching bag, then again and again. Mello screaming, letting all the emotions of the last decade building up inside him come flowing out like a raging river. His fears, his abandonment, his neglect, and his desire to fit in all left him to blow after blow. And when he finished, it left him panting, and for the first time, in potentially Mello's whole life, he felt calm. How long had he kept everything bottled up? Acting like a ticking time bomb ready to go off at a second notice?
"Better?" Kira asked, a small smile on his face as he took in Mello's relaxed posture.
"Yeah," Mello said, smiling back. It felt odd, smiling; he grew up learning to control his expressions, only displaying those which would turn people away and put distance between them. The only person who wasn't affected by Mello's spikey expressions and ever more pointed personality is Matt, Mello's best friend. Had he ever smiled at Matt? Shown his best friend just how much he appreciated him being around?
"Good," Kira said, carefully pulling the boxing gloves from Mello's hands before putting them away in their rightful place. "You can come in here whenever you need to blow off some steam. If Wammy or L catches you in here and tells you off, then you tell me, and I'll deal with them. Your wellbeing is more important than L's ego."
Mello nodded, staring at Kira for a brief second. Mentally debating with himself whether he should tell him, reveal something that he's never dared to speak about, even Matt. "I was a mistake. My father had an affair with his secretary, and I was the result. My bio mum didn't want me, so she dumped me with my father and disappeared. I don't know why they kept me; they didn't want me. They already had my older brother, Samuel. Oh, and Samuel was their golden child; he couldn't do anything wrong. He's perfect in every way possible. If Samuel broke something, then the product was faulty; if Samuel took something from me, well, it's Samuel's turn to play with it… I don't know how old I was until I started showing signs I was a genius. I just know by the age of six, my parents were telling me I was stupid. That I couldn't do anything right. That I should stop trying to out sign my brother because I'll never be as good as him," Mello said before sighing; here came the more complicated part. "They left us home alone one night, not sure why and I don't really remember what happened, but from the report. Someone turned the gas hobs on and left them. The curtains got caught in them from wind coming through the open window, and the house went up in flames. The neighbours quickly called for a fire engine. They rescued me first, and I got sent to hospital for smoke inhalation and minor burns; Samuel was nowhere to be found."
"After the fire had been put out and they could properly search the house, they found him. Dead, in the cellar, he'd suffocated. They say it was mostly a peaceful death, that he wouldn't have known what was happening to him, but that didn't stop my parents from blaming me. They believed I'd set the fire, that I planned to kill Samuel by trapping him in the cellar. No one believes them, but that didn't matter. When I was still in hospital they fled, police looked, but couldn't find them. They sent me to an orphanage, which I ran away from. They found me, sent me to another orphanage which I ran from as well, and repeat. It wasn't until I was in my seventh orphanage that Wammy found me and brought me here. I'd thought I'd finally found somewhere to call home, but…." Mello trailed off.
"Those kids, they're telling you, you don't belong here. They found out, didn't they? Somehow, they found the incident report on the fire, the notes about it potentially being an arson. They think you did it," Kira said. All Mello could do was nod. "Mello, what happened that day wasn't your fault. You're lucky to be alive. The only people responsible for that fire were your parents. They shouldn't have left you unsupervised. You were kids; how could either of you know that it's dangerous to mess around a gas cooker? Even as a genius, you don't know everything you aren't taught. Your parents failed both of you, and these kids are just using whatever they can find on you to get a reaction. Mello, you belong here; this is your home no matter what other people think. Wammy's isn't just a home for genius but children who've been let down by society for being different."
"Mello… Mello, snap out of it," a voice said, a familiar hand shaking his shoulders as Mello pulled out of his memory. Matt stood before him, a worried look on his face. "Hey, there you are. Mello, it's okay, it'll be okay. We've found him; we're going to save him."
Save him? "Mum's alright?"
"Little banged up from what I can tell, but alive. Mum's alive. Near," Matt said, turning to look at the white-haired boy, "Go get L, and someone call BB and Matsuda; we have a rescue mission to plan."
Light sleeps more than he used to, a way to pass the time between one beating to the next. It's always Higuchi, never Teru. Teru always watched, staying in the corner staying quiet until he decided Higuchi needs a break or they need to leave. Light wasn't sure anymore what parts of his body they broke and what just hurt. All he feels now is the numbing pain, a constant throbbing that he barely felt anymore, even the new injuries he received daily. Sleep makes the torturous days pass faster, and as each day passes, he's one day closer to being rescued. Light knows L and the others will work tiredly trying to find him; Mello, Matt and Near won't stay in London once they find out about his disappearance. Light doesn't want to call it a kidnapping; he's not a helpless child; this is an abduction. Merikh took him, intending to kill him once he gave them L's name. They don't plan to hold him for ransom; they don't intend to set up a swap, Light for L. They don't intend to give him up once he passed his usefulness.
The sun rose hours ago, or maybe it just set. He wasn't sure all he knew was that neither Higuchi nor Teru had visited him for at least twelve hours, which was concerning. They visited like clockwork to beat the name from his lips; they'd never deviated from this schedule. They wouldn't if they didn't want to raise any more red flags with people they know. For all Light could deduce was they somehow were still attending work in some shape or form whilst keeping their distance from the Merikh Task Force. If they deviated from this schedule, then something must have happened, and Light doesn't think they've been arrested, L would be here, his children and Beyond would've rescued him by now. L, Beyond and Mello wouldn't let ethics and human rights stand in their way of getting him back. They'd choose Teru; he'd break first. Teru's weak-willed and would never withstand being tortured. Higuchi's more robust; he would last much longer, but torture isn't the way forward to getting answers from him. For Higuchi, you need to trick the answers out of him, make him say something he didn't mean to. He's arrogant and prideful, which would bring his downfall.
But Light knew not to get his hopes up; too much time has passed. L would be here if they'd captured Merikh as if Light's thoughts had magically summoned them. The cabin door swung open, and in stormed Higuchi, with Teru trudging behind him.
"I've had it with this bastard. He won't tell us L's name willingly, then he'll tell it to us unwillingly," Higuchi said. His back turned as he stared intensively at the death note, his eyes gleaming over the rules as if they will part the sea and give him the answers he so desperately seeks.
"And how do you think we can achieve that? You said it yourself; he's not going to talk. You can't trick him into telling you L's name," Teru said, visibly confused and concerned that his partner had finally lost it.
"That's not the only way to get him to talk. I can't believe we didn't think about it before." An enormous grin broke out on Higuchi's face as he shut the death note and threw it at Teru, "You're going to make the Shinigami Eyes deal. You'll see this bastard's name, and we can write it in the death note. We have 6 minutes and 40 seconds to write details of the death where we put that he'll tell us L's name and location before having a heart attack. We can then deal with L and the other threats before announcing to the world our success."
Teru looked as horrified as Light felt; he didn't think either Teru or Higuchi would make the Shinigami Eye deal trade with Amane mentioned. Light thought he'd be safe until L and the others rescued him; now, it didn't seem as likely.
"Why me? I don't want to sacrifice half my remaining lifespan for the eyes. We're meant to live long lives to rule over our new world," Teru shouted.
"It was your idea to kill criminals. You're the one who found the notebook and tried it out in the first place. This makes this your responsibility," Higuchi argued. "Times wasting Mikami. The task force could be upon us any second now. We need to kill this bastard and L before they find us, or are you willing to risk all your hard work creating this new world simply because you don't have the balls to make the sacrifices needed? L will capture us and kill us; all your hard work will be for nothing. The crime rate will rise, and innocent people you vowed to protect will start dying again."
Teru looked torn as he stared down at the death note in his hands. Light wanted to say something, anything which would prevent Teru from taking the eye deal, but Light was speechless for once. Anything he said would convince Teru; it'll be evidence that Light knew L's name or at least location.
"For our new world," Teru muttered before looking at nothing. Still, Light knew. He's known all along that a Shinigami would be here, utterly invisible to his eyes unless he'd touched the death note. "Ryuk, I want to make the Shinigami eye trade."
The room went cold, and Teru's eyes glowed. Light knew he was seeing things, but it was like Teru's eyes flashed red as he turned to face him for a second. Teru's eyes shoot up to look above his head and look at his name, his real name. He's screwed. There's no chance that L could rescue him. He's dead; his husband will die. Those on the task force and other criminals will surely die now Merikh had access to the Shinigami eyes.
"Goodbye, Light Lawliet," Teru smirked as he lowered the pen to a page of the death note.
