Welcome back, gang! Hope you're all well and staying safe. I've been doing a LOT of writing, but unfortunately most of it has been on a chapter WAY ahead in the story. I managed to get this one done, though, so please enjoy it as a tasty snack. It's about as drabble-y as drabbles get, but it's got lots of Resembool Gang Casual Banter, and I dunno about you guys, but for my money you can never see enough of that stuff.

Thanks again for your lovely reviews! Astute readers may also notice that we've upped the rating to T for the whole story. I'll warn you guys if anything super dark or potentially triggering is gonna come up, but it's mostly just for language and smoking for now. It's not my fault; it's Pinako's fault.

Song for this chapter is "Twist My Arm" by The Tragically Hip, partly because Ed has his arm twisted here and partly because I just think the lyrics are really funny.

Martyrs don't do much for me
Though I enjoy them vicariously
After you? No, after me
No, I insist-please, after me!

Do I want to, with all that charm?
Do I want to? Twist my arm.

Everyone was still lingering in the kitchen over coffee hours later when the Saturday mail came. There was the big weekly edition of the Central Times that Al had subscribed to, the East Area Post that Pinako took regularly, a big brown envelope addressed to Winry, and a royal-blue envelope with a golden wax seal addressed to "The Rockbell Household".

"I guess this is for you, Granny," Ed said, handing the blue envelope to Pinako as he sat back down next to his brother.

Pinako held it out at arm's length, squinting at the elegant handwriting on the outside. "What in the blazes is this?"

"Probably a reminder from your optometrist, Granny," Winry said, smirking as her grandmother adjusted her spectacles. Ed and Al both snickered.

"What's in that big envelope, Winry?" Al asked.

"Yeah, is somebody suing you for cruel and unusual maintenance fees?" Ed added.

"As if." Winry rolled her eyes as she tore open the top of the envelope. "It's a magazine."

Ed's eyes lit up immediately. "Gearhead Shut-Ins Monthly?"

"Mad Scientist Digest?" Al added.

"Ooh, ooh—'Where's The Rest Of My Shirt Magazine,' the voice of women everywhere living with too many tube tops."

Alphonse snorted. "Jeez, brother, maybe you can borrow it from her when she's done."

"Ew, shut up!" Ed replied, socking his brother on the arm.

It was a normal, playful arm-punch—and it was even with Ed's bad hand—but it sent the still-slight Alphonse sprawling to the floor with a yelp.

"Ow." He stuck his tongue out at Ed from the ground.

"My bad, sorry, Al." Ed helped him to his feet and back into his chair. "I guess we're not recalibrated just yet."

"It's okay, I should've been ready for it," Al chuckled. "You always freak out whenever I mention—" he paused, glancing at the spot on the floor he'd just gotten up from. "…Uh…borrowing things."

"You guys are the worst," Winry said from across the table. "Anyway, no, it's the new issue of Southern Film Report."

"Well, that's just not as catchy," Alphonse said.

"Whatever," she said, pulling the magazine from the envelope and looking eagerly down at the cover. Then her eyes lit up. "Hey, Ed, they interviewed the director of Beasts of Devil's Alley for this issue!"

"Really?" he replied. "I wanna see—do they say anything about shooting on location?"

"Is this that movie you guys saw last weekend?" Al asked.

"Yeah, it's the one they shot in Dublith! You should've seen it, Al, it was so—"

Suddenly they were silenced by the sharp sound of Granny Pinako clearing her throat. The three teenagers turned to look at her.

"Alright, listen up, 'Rockbell Household,'" she said, reading from the letter she'd received. "Dear Ms. Pinako Rockbell, Miss Winry Rockbell, Mr. Edward Elric and Mr. Alphonse Elric, you are cordially invited to attend a celebratory evening at the Armstrong Manor to mark the end of the Summer Season."

"The end of the summer season?" Ed repeated. "So it's a…fall party?"

"The Central City social season, brother."

"The what?"

"Dinner will be served," Pinako continued, ignoring the boys, "and refreshments will be provided. Black-tie attire is suggested. Kindly reply by return mail to confirm your attendance."

"When is it?" Winry asked, bemused.

"Saturday three weeks from now," Pinako replied. "Well, how about that."

"The Armstrong manor? As in Major Armstrong?" Winry said, looking confused.

"I guess so," Ed said, reaching for the invitation. "Unless it's his sister, but that doesn't seem too likely." He shuddered at the thought.

"That's right, I forgot," Al said, nodding. "The Major and the Major General are from some kind of really upper-class family in Central. You remember Major Armstrong, Granny?"

"You mean the hulking gentleman who brought you home in a box last year?" Pinako said dryly. "I believe I do."

"I can't believe he invited all of us!" Winry said. "This sounds so fancy."

"Don't worry, Granny, we'll just let the Major know you have to take care of patients out here," Ed assured Pinako.

"The hell you will," she snapped. "If I'm being cordially invited to a black-tie dinner party at the Armstrong Manor, you can bet your beansprout ass I'm going."

"Really, Granny?" Winry asked, ignoring Ed's reflexive roar at the beansprout comment. She and Al were looking at Pinako in surprise. "I never would've guessed you'd want to go to something like this."

"Well, learn to guess better, girl," she replied, grinning. "I haven't been to a classy society shindig since the sixties, so I think I'm about due for another one."

Winry, Ed and Al exchanged glances of general astonishment.

"Really?" Al said. "So you'll—you'll close up shop and take the train to Central with us?"

"And get crazy dressed-up and stand around shaking hands with a bunch of rich jerks eating trays of incredibly tiny sandwiches?" Ed added, shrugging. "Knock yourself out, Granny, and I'll stay here and watch the shop."

"What?!" Winry said. "How could you not want to go? You actually know the Armstrongs."

"I do, and believe me, that's informing my decision. I'm already over my annual quota for seeing Major Armstrong's big gross pecs for no reason."

"Brother just doesn't want to go because he's terrified of the General," Alphonse said, smirking.

"I am not! I just don't see the point in going to some fancy snooty party on my own time to talk to the people I'm supposed to get paid to talk to."

"Well, I want to go, so you're coming with me," Winry said, pointing her fork across the table at Ed and glaring at him.

He scowled, took a sip of his now-cold coffee and looked away, not saying anything. He was suddenly standing at an incredibly stupid crossroads, where both paths led to the wrath of an armed and terrifying blonde woman.

"She's right, Ed," Pinako said, nodding gravely. "It's very bad form to force an unattached young lady to attend a social event unaccompanied, especially when you were named on the invitation."

"What?" Ed looked at her, incredulous. "Who are you?!"

"I contain multitudes, kid," she replied, chuckling as she picked up her pipe from the table and lit it.

He traded bewildered glances with Al and Winry.

"I have so many questions," Winry said.

"Save 'em for later," Pinako said, taking a long drag and leaning back in her chair.

"Wait, Ed, I think I know why they invited us," Al said, holding up his copy of the Central City Times. "It said it was a 'celebratory evening', right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, listen to this: Officers Who Protected First Lady During Bradley Administration Coup See Slate of Promotions. A group of military officers involved in the heroic efforts to…blah blah blah…including veterans First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Colonel Roy Mustang and Major Alex Louis Armstrong, who will be promoted at a ceremony…"

"Oh, wow," Ed said casually. "That's so nice for Armstrong and Hawkeye."

Al rolled his eyes. "Don't act like it's not a big deal, brother. The ceremony's the same day as the party, so they're probably going to invite you to that too. I bet that's what the whole thing is about, they just couldn't announce it yet."

"Man, so not only is this party going to be snooty and boring, but it's going to be loaded with annoying promotion-grubbing military guys, and the Colonel? I mean, Mustang?"

"Wait, how come you aren't getting promoted? Weren't you the one who actually defeated that…guy?" Winry asked.

Ed paused, frowning slightly. "Wait a second, yeah. What the hell!"

"Since when do you care about getting promoted?" Al said.

"I don't, but it pisses me off that the Col—that Mustang is getting more credit than me."

"Well, that'll make great idle cocktail chatter at the party I'm pretty sure is celebrating his promotion," Al said dryly.

"Okay, now I'm definitely not going," Ed said.

"Come on, Ed," Winry said. "They obviously really want you to be there—that's probably why they invited all of us, so we could force you to go."

"Man, what the hell kind of invitation comes with enforcers?" Ed said indignantly.

"It's a good strategy, actually," Al replied, grinning and stroking his chin with his hand. "Those guys really know who they're dealing with."

Pinako chuckled to herself as she tapped the ash from her pipe. "If we're all invited, then we're all going," she said. "Look at it this way, Ed: it's your big chance to show off your big successes too."

"Yeah, like the new 1915 Model Alphonse!" Al said, pointing both thumbs at himself.

"Yeah!" Winry chimed in, smiling.

Ed grunted in acknowledgement. Okay, he thought begrudgingly, that's actually a good point.

"So we're going?" Al asked, nudging his brother on the shoulder.

"Fine, I guess," Ed groaned, throwing his hands in the air in defeat.

Winry and Alphonse shouted "Alright!" in unison, and Pinako laughed triumphantly.

Ed sighed, then stood up and started clearing the plates, wondering idly whether he was going to be outnumbered like this forever.

There ya have it! This is the beginning of the new, as-promised arc called "The Party", so stay tuned for more. I love my domestic Rockbell house content, but HOO BOY, GUYS, I am excited to bring in a lot more characters for this. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think! :)