"Agent Jareau", she finally asked as calmly and empathetically as possible when she realised that her patient wouldn't answer her previous question, "were you sexually assaulted?"

It was like seeing a dam break, JJ started panicking and hyperventilating.

"Agent Jareau?... Agent Jareau?... Can you try to take slow, deep breaths for me?", Dr. Keppler tried to get through to her with a calm but firm voice. But she had already slipped into flashbacks and wasn't really aware of being in the hospital anymore.

"Her oxygen levels are dropping due to the hyperventilation, could you try to calm her down? Otherwise I will have to sedate her", the doctor told Emily.

"JJ? It's Emily. You are save here. I know that it's scary but you are not there anymore. Can you try to come back to me?", Emily started. She then took JJ's hand and placed it against her chest,

"Can you feel my heart beating? Can you look at me?"

Finally, JJ looked up at her.

"There you go. Can you try to breathe with me?"

After a couple of minutes JJ's breathing had returned to a somewhat normal rate and she seemed to be back in the present.

"Agent Jareau, do you remember what happened?", Dr. Keppler asked, being aware of the fact that panic attacks could sometimes cause amnesia.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I ..."

"You have nothing to apologise for. Agent, I'm very sorry for what has happened. I'm pretty sure that you know the procedure. I will ask a nurse to draw some blood and then you will be taken up for the CT- scans and the x-ray. Do you consent to an SAE-examination?"

JJ was grateful that Dr. Keppler was treating her as an agent and someone who knew what had to happen. Just nodded again.

"I'm here for you Jayje", Emily promised.

While JJ was being taken for the scans, she quickly called Hotch who told her to take as much time as she needed and to stay with JJ. The team would visit her later if she was up to it.

Dr. Keppler came back with the test results about an hour later:" Luckily the scans do not show internal bleeding in your abdomen. Unfortunately, we can't really do much about your broken ribs, they are stable for now but you have to take it easy and we will have to talk about pain management; otherwise you won't be able to take deep enough breaths and we would risk an infection. Do you want to rest for a moment or do you want to keep going?"

JJ took a shuddering breath: "No, I want to get this over with as soon as possible."

"Would you like Agent Prentiss to stay with you?", Dr. Keppler asked, seeing that the two women shared a deeper connection than just being colleagues."

JJ looked over to Emily: " No, you don't have to stay. I can handle it."

"Jayje, please don't shut me out, I would really like to be here for you. I know that you are incredibly strong and that you could handle it, but you don't have to do this alone", Emily tried to reassure her friend, who was starting to tear up again.

"Okay", she whispered, grateful that Emily knew her so well and had convinced her tonrely on their bond.

Meanwhile Dr. Keppler had prepared for the exam: "Okay, I'm going to explain every step before I do it. You are in control agent Jareau, if you need a break or if you want me to stop, just say so or tell your friend, I will stop immediately. Your job is to stay in the present moment, you are save and nothing is going to happen without your consent. Try to concentrate on your friend here."

The exam was so much worse than JJ could have imagined. Apart from the physical pain and the humiliation she felt, she had to fight very hard to not flash back into memories not only from her recent abduction and assault but also from ones that she never wanted to be reminded of again.

By the end of it, she hardly realised Dr. Keppler telling her that she was finished. She was trying so hard not to break, but failed miserably. She couldn't stem the overwhelming flood of tears, emotions and memories.

"It's alright. You can let it out. You are so strong. I'm proud of you.", Emily kept whispering to her. Dr. Keppler had left the room for some time to leave the two women to themselves. She couldn't stop her mind from imagining what her patient had gone through in the past hours. However, what truly shook her to the core was not the horrific incident that this woman had gone through, but that this was by no means an isolated event. In fact, she had already treated six women this week, who had experienced sexual violence. It made her want to give up sometimes.

When she almost bumped into another doctor, she tried to pull herself together. Yes, this was horrific, but she still had a responsibility for her patient and she couldn't change anything by going down thought spirals.

JJ had calmed down after what felt like an eternity to Emily, they were now waiting for Dr. Keppler to return and give them the results.

When she did, she took a seat next to JJ's bed. "Hi, I'm sorry that it took me so long. So your bloodwork looks fine; there are no signs of an infection, pregnancy is negative and whatever you were drugged with earlier has made its way out of your system. The SAE- results didn't show any signs of STD's. There was unfortunately a rather significant amount of bruising and tearing, it will heal by itself over time but it's likely to be painful for at least a week and I would recommend a check-up with your regular gynaecologist in two weeks at the latest.

I know that this has to be a lot right now. Can you tell me in how much physical pain you are in right now?"

"Um, I guess it's maybe at a six", JJ replied after carefully looking up to Emily, who's gaze told her to be honest.

"Okay, I will give you something for the pain. Your oxygen saturation is still not where I would like it to be, so please keep the nasal tube on. I would like to wrap up your ankles and wrists so that an infection can be prevented."

After giving her the pain medication and wrapping her ankles and wrists, the doctor paused before asking: "Agent Jareau, I can't even begin to imagine what you have gone through. I can see that agent Prentiss seems to be very close to you, however I still need to ask you how you are doing mentally. We can offer you great psychological support and it would be nothing to be ashamed of. Can you describe how you are feeling right now?"

JJ looked down at her hands. She appreciated the sincere offer but she couldn't accept it without fearing that it would reveal too much and bring up demons from her past.

"I... I'm...", JJ looked over to Emily, clearly overwhelmed with the situation. Her breathing rate started quickening again, so Dr. Keppler intercepted: "Okay, agent Jareau, try to slow your breathing. You don't have to say anything right now. This must be very overwhelming. Just know that the offer stands. I would really recommend that you take the sedative I talked about earlier."

To everyone's surprise JJ replied:" No, I just want to get out of here." "JJ", Emily began.

"Agent Jareau, I will not discharge you now. Your body needs rest and you are still relying on the oxygen. I would also like to know how you are doing mentally, before you leave", the doctor stated clearly, " I would like to keep you under observation for at least twenty four hours."

JJ bit her lower lip to try to stop the tears from falling but it was no use."

"Okay", she finally said, avoiding everyone's gaze.

Dr. Keppler injected the sedative into her IV line:" This will make you drowsy pretty quickly; if there is anything else that you need, please don't hesitate to ask."

When the doctor had left, Emily checked her phone and saw that she had a missed call from Hotch. She looked over to JJ who was fiddling with her bandages.

"Hey, JJ, is it alright if I quickly leave to call back Hotch?"

"Yeah, sure, you should go back to the hotel Emily, you must be tired. I'm sorry for bothering you so much, I'll be asleep soon, anyway.", JJ now sounded cold numb and detached, it was almost a bit harsh.

Emily didn't know what to say; she was torn. On the one hand she knew that JJ pushed people away when she was in vulnerable situations, on the other hand she could understand someone's desire to be alone for once.

"JJ, you are not bothering me at all, I just really want to be there for you right now, but I totally get it if you want to be by yourself for a bit, you just have to tell me."

"No, honestly, it's fine. You can come back tomorrow", JJ replied not looking at her.

"JJ, I will not leave you alone right now. I'm going to go outside and talk to Hotch and if you want me to, then I will leave you be for half an hour.", Emily insisted almost exasperatedly.

"Fine", JJ snapped.

Emily felt bad for leaving her in this moment but she knew that staying would only cause more conflicts. She decided to step out of the hospital to call Hotch. He suggested that the team came by but Emily didn't think that it was a good idea at the moment. Instead she asked if someone could get them JJ's go-bag. When she hung up, she decided to take a short walk.

Thinking about her friend she couldn't help but feel like JJ was hiding something from her. She felt like JJ had gone into full-blown defense mode and was therefore shutting her out. Once again she vowed to supporting her no matter how hard she might try to push her away and go through this on her own. It was time for JJ to finally let down those walls of hers that she always tried to keep up so fiercely.

Back inside, JJ was lost in her thoughts about how to possibly keep Emily and everyone else form finding out about her past. She couldn't convince herself that they would support and love her no matter what. She was too afraid that they might judge her and look at her differently.