So life is still nuts but I've managed to get this chapter written up when I've had a quiet five minutes. I'm in charge of three workshops at a university so I have a timetabeled that tells me exactly how busy I'm going to be, and it's not going to be getting much better for a while, lucky me.
This means that this will be the last chapter for a while, potentially for quite a while actually, since I'm currently working on a multi chapter Castle story, which I'm hoping to start posting within the next few weeks. I'm sure I'll have more chapters for this story at some point, as I have plenty of ideas, it's just going to be a case of finding the time to write them.
Hope you like it.
What if they had spoken about the kiss?
She'd gotten home from visiting the prison and had just sat on her sofa, staring into space. This whole thing had gone in a direction that Kate never would have expected. First, John Raglan had been shot in front of her and Rick, then she'd almost thrown Vulcan Simmons through the glass in interrogation after he'd basically admitted to knowing what had happened to her mother. She shook her head. Then had come Montgomery kicking her out of the precinct, and then Castle had found her crying on her couch. Then there was Joe Pulgatti, insisting he was innocent. And she'd found out why her mom had been killed.
She was still struggling to believe it but now she knew, her mom had been killed because she'd been looking into the death of an undercover fed. She shook her head, she could bearly believe it.
Then Esposito and Ryan had been kidnapped by Lockwood. She was just glad that they were ok, that no one else that she loved had died because of what a group of dirty cops had done so many years ago, her mom was enough for her.
Thinking about Esposito and Ryan's kidnapping made her think of the kiss that she and Rick had shared. Without conscious thought, her hand drifted up and she touched her lips softly. That kiss had not been what she'd expected when Rick had spun her to face him but now as she thought about it she felt her cheeks begin to heat up.
What a kiss that had been. She couldn't remember ever having a kiss that had made her feel like that before. When she'd pulled away and stared into his eyes there had been something there that at the time she hadn't been able to think about, because there had been a man with a gun walking towards them. So she'd pulled him back to her and kissed him back. She couldn't believe that she'd moaned into the kiss but it had just felt so good to have Rick's hands on her skin, and running her hands through his hair.
She sighed slightly and shook her head. She'd almost been so distracted by the kiss that she'd forgotten why they were there, but when the guard had snorted she'd remembered and she'd managed to knock him out and they'd been able to save Esposito and Ryan.
And Rick had saved her from Lockwood. He'd taken on a trained sniper with nothing but his fists. Yes, he'd taken the gunman by surprise but that didn't change the fact that he'd done what he'd done. He'd hurt his hand and when Kate had sat with him she'd known she didn't need to rewrap his hand but she'd had to do something, anything, to touch him, to believe that he was ok, that they were all ok.
She shook her head again and got to her feet. She needed to stop thinking about this. She began to pace and her fingers strayed to her lips again. When Rick had said that it had been amazing she'd stared at him and he'd said that he meant the takedown, but Kate hadn't been staring at him because she was upset by what he had said. On the contrary, she'd actually been thinking that he was right, that it had been amazing. She'd never felt that way kissing someone before. They'd flirted occasionally but Kate had never thought that that many sparks would fly if they kissed.
"God damn it," she muttered to herself. She glanced at her phone, where it was sitting on the kitchen side, where she'd thrown it when she'd come in.
She debated whether or not what she was thinking was a good idea but then decided that it needed to be done. She grabbed the phone and lay on the couch.
She opened up her messages and quickly typed out a message.
You up to anything? She paused for a moment but then pressed send before she could second guess herself.
She put the phone down beside her and grab the remote for the TV. She flicked through the channels, looking for something to watch, but really just waiting to see if she'd get a reply to her text.
Her phone buzzed and she immediately grabbed it. Trying to do some writing she read But it's not really going anywhere.
Could you come over? She typed back We need to talk.
She put the phone back down again and continued to flick through the channels, never settling on anything for more than a few minutes before she flicked to the next channel.
Kate's phone buzzed with another text and she grabbed it off the couch cushion. I'll be over in twenty was all it said.
She didn't bother to reply just threw the phone to the other end of the couch and went back to channel hopping.
As she waited she debated the wisdom of what she'd done. Was she going to be able to talk about what they needed to talk about? Neither of them had a great track record when it came to talking about the important things, but she couldn't get that kiss out of her head and she knew they needed to talk about it. There were things that Rick needed to know, and she had to be the one to tell him.
-/-
When there was a knock at her door she practically flew off the couch, shutting off the TV and throwing the remote back on the cushions, as she headed for the door.
She pulled it open and smiled at Rick who was standing there. "Hey," she said in a quiet voice.
"Hey," Rick replied in an equally quiet voice.
The two stood staring at each other for a moment before Kate stepped to one side. "Come in," she invited. As Rick walked in past her and she shut the door Kate asked, "How's the hand?"
"It's ok," Rick told her as he took off his jacket and looked for somewhere to hang it. Kate took it from him and hung it over the back of one of the chairs, "Bandage itches a little but it doesn't hurt anymore."
Kate nodded and reached out and took his hand in hers. She heard Rick's sharp intake of breath at her surprising action but he stayed quiet and she gently rubbed her thumb back and forth across the back of his hand.
"I meant what I said earlier," Kate said, her voice low, "Thank you for having my back."
"And like I said earlier," Rick replied in an equally soft voice, "Always."
"I mean it, Rick," Kate said, raising her eyes to look into his, "I brought you with me to see Raglan because I trust you." Her thumb kept brushing back and forth across his hand. "And I'm sorry that that almost got you shot, and I'm sorry that you had to see him dying."
Rick swallowed hard. "I really did think you'd been shot," he whispered, his voice hoarse, "When I saw the blood on your shirt I thought it had you that had been shot, not Raglan." He took a deep shuddering breath. "I was so scared," he admitted, his voice now barely a whisper.
"I'm so sorry Castle," Kate said, the hand that wasn't currently stroking his hand coming up and cupping his cheek, "If I'd known how it was going to end I never would have taken you with me."
Rick shook his head sharply. "I will always be there for you Kate," he told her, his voice now stronger than it had been, "Whenever you need me."
The two held each other's gaze for a charge minute, Kate's fingers still gently sweeping back and forth on both his hand and his cheek. Slowly Rick raised his hand and gently placed it on Kate's cheek. She lent into the touch and closed her eyes for a moment before she opened them again and stared into Rick's eyes.
"Your plan for getting past the guard was perfect," she said, changing the subject to a lighter matter, well as light as anything to do with this case got, "I never would have thought of something like that. You got us past him and we saved the boys. I never would have been able to do that without you. And you punched a guy out to save me."
"That gave me a rush like nothing ever has before," Rick admitted, dropping his hand away from her face.
Kate immediately missed the contact but let her hand drop away from his face as well. "Well I don't want you ever doing something like that again," she said in a soft voice, "Going toe to toe with a trained killer."
Rick shrugged nonchalantly. "I got the better of him. And I saved you. I'd do it again in a heartbeat." He held Kate's eye as he spoke and Kate had no doubt that he meant every word.
Kate bite her lip. "Just try and be careful ok Rick," she whispered, "I would hate for you to get hurt because of this."
Rick nodded. "I'll be careful if you are," he bargained.
"Deal," Kate said with a smile.
"So is that the reason you asked me to come over?" Rick asked, "To say thank you again."
"Partly," Kate said, "But there was another reason."
"Oh?" Rick asked.
Kate chewed her lip for a moment. Rick stayed quiet, just watching her as she tried to work out how to say what she wanted to.
"You asked about Josh before," she started.
Rick nodded. "You said he was away in Africa yeah?"
"Right," Kate said with a nod. She paused for a second. "We broke up," she said in a rush.
"Oh," Rick replied, "Sorry to hear that."
Kate shrugged. "It is what it is, it wasn't really all that serious between us."
"Can I ask what happened?" Rick asked hesitantly. He wasn't really sure that he wanted to know the details about Kate's relationship with Josh, but there was something about her body language that told him she wanted him to ask.
"He really is in Africa," she said, "And there's another doctor there that he's been spending a lot of time with. He wanted to date her, simple as that."
"That doesn't seem right," Rick said with a frown.
Kate shrugged. "I don't mind," she said, "It was never anything all that serious between us, neither of us had time for that, what with our jobs and everything, so we never let it get serious, it was just a fling."
Rick winced slightly but held Kate's eye. "I'm happy for him," Kate continued, "Truly. Like I said, it was nothing serious, and it never could have been."
"How come?" Rick pressed, "I know you both had busy jobs but I'm sure you could have made it work if you wanted to."
"But that's exactly the point Castle," Kate said, "I didn't want to make it work." She was being brave, but they needed to talk about what had happened earlier, and she needed to be the one to make the first step, otherwise, she knew they'd never talk about it. That was their mo after all, they never talked about anything important. But this was something that they needed to talk about.
Rick frowned. "How come?" he asked quietly.
"It was just a distraction," she said, "And speaking of distractions I wanted to talk to you about ours." She swallowed hard as she finished speaking, there it was, she'd said it and it was out there now.
"Not the weirdest Segway ever," Rick commented with a smile, "In fact, it's actually a pretty good one, but it's one hell of a change in the direction of what we're talking about. But haven't we already talked about it?"
Kate smiled at him and chuckled slightly but shook her head. "Not properly," she said, "I said thank you but there's more that needs to be said."
"No there isn't," Rick replied quickly, "It was a distraction, that's all. A way to get past the guard without him alerting anyone inside."
"But that's the thing Castle," Kate said, "I agree with you, it was amazing."
She stopped talking and stared at Rick, waiting for him to say something, hoping that he understood what she meant. Rick stared back at her, then blinked a few times and furrowed his brow.
Kate felt her heart stop at his confused expression, maybe they shouldn't have talked about it, not if it meant that she'd now ruined what was the best partnership she'd ever had since joining the force.
"Never mind," she said, starting to get to her feet, intending to walk into the kitchen and get some space between them.
"Beckett," Rick said, putting a hand on her arm and stopping her in her tracks, "Don't go, you just caught me by surprise that's all."
Kate turned to face him but didn't sit back down, or say anything, just looked down at him.
"I need to know exactly what you mean Kate," Rick said, his voice soft but insistent, "Because I think I know, but I need to be sure."
Kate chewed her lip for a second, trying to work out what she wanted to say, but then she gave up. Instead, she stepped closer to Rick and then lent down and softly pressed her lips to his.
Where the kiss to distract the guard had been heated this one was soft and slow. Kate pulled away and rested her head against Rick's forehead. "I want to be able to kiss you all the time Rick," she whispered, "Not just to create a distraction, but because I want to. Does that clear things up for you?"
Rick nodded. "It does," he replied in a quiet voice. His hand came up to the back of her head and he pulled her back towards him. This kiss was somewhere in between their previous two and Rick pulled her down to sit on his lap as they kissed.
When they pulled apart again they moved their heads away from each other but kept their hands where they were, one of Rick's fisted in Kate's hair while the other was wrapped around her waist, supporting her weight and holding her close, while Kate had one fisted in Rick's shirt with her other arm wrapped around his neck.
"I just need to know one thing Kate," Rick said, his voice still low, "Is this another distraction?"
Kate shook her head. "I don't want it to be," she said, "I want it to be serious, if that's something you want."
"Always," Rick breathed before he pulled her into another kiss.
As Kate felt his lips against hers all she could think was how glad she was that they'd talked about it.
