Chapter 8
JJ's thoughts were circling around Will and everything Emily had just mentioned. On the one hand she wanted nothing more than to hug Henry and forget about everything. But that meant also dealing with Will. She didn't want to face him at this point, let alone explain to him what had happened. He also didn't know about her childhood and ever since the nightmare and subsequently talking about it, it seemed ever-present -not in the back of her mind how it had always been- but rather being consciously aware of everything again. As soon as she let her mind wander, memories in form of pictures, sounds, smells and feelings came up again. She knew from her work that she had just been majorly triggered and her childhood screamed unprocessed trauma. It would be incredibly exhausting to not only hide that from her boyfriend but also face his reaction to her being injured, this -JJ was sure of it- would spark yet another fight about her job and her ability of motherhood. She knew that she didn't have the energy to deal with that at the moment. On the other hand, there was Emily's offer of Henry and herself staying with her. Even just thinking about it caused feelings of relieve and safety, but she didn't want to burden Emily not only with herself but also her two year old toddler. Surely Emily had better things to do in her leisure time, maybe going on a date or something. Coming to think of that, they had never really talked about her romantic life which seemed odd, considering that they had been out for drinks countless times and spoken about almost everyone's dating life on the team, except for Emily's. Did the others know something that she didn't? Even Garcia had never asked her about it, which seemed very out of character for the extroverted, bubbly woman. While JJ got lost in thoughts about Emily, she and the doctor returned, startling JJ slightly.
"Hello agent Jareau, so I heard that you want to get out of here?"
"Yes, I just want to go home", JJ said.
"I would like to examine you once more, but right now I think that there is nothing much that we can do for your physical injuries. If you feel like you need any kind of support from our psychological team, you need to stay here.", Dr. Keppler explained with a firm voice, knowing that her patient might not take the psychological repercussions seriously enough, "therefore I need to ask you a few questions after I examine you."
The exam showed that everything was healing as well as could be expected; the bruises would fade and her ribs would heal if she adhered to taking it easy.
"So I would strongly recommend that you stay with someone for at least the next couple of days and you need to take your pain medication. Now to those other questions: Are you currently or have you currently had any thoughts or plans or hurt yourself?" Emily was a little shocked and taken aback when she heard those words, surely they were a little blunt. But then she remembered what JJ had told her about her sister and figured that it was not unreasonable. JJ though seemed to have expected this question and answered calmly: "No. I battled depression as a teen but I would never...", she looked over to Emily who gave her a nod knowingly, "um... I had an older sister who committed suicide when I was eleven, so I know the pain that it causes others...", JJ trailed off.
"Okay, I'm sorry to hear that, just know that you can reach out in an emergency, having suicidal thoughts doesn't mean that you have to act upon them, it is possible to get help. I would also suggest that you should talk to a psychotherapist to try to talk about everything. I can see that you have people in your life who support you, but you need professional help in addition to that."
"I know, thank you, I need to be cleared by a bureau psychologist anyways, but I planned on getting into therapy."
"Okay, I'm glad to hear that. I'm going to get your discharge papers ready and then I'll be back." "Thank you.", JJ replied, genuinely grateful for how the doctor had handled everything and helped her.
Just as Emily was about to approach the subject of Will again, her phone rang: "It's Hotch", she said before picking it up. In spite of JJ's expectations that Hotch would be calling to ask about her, Emily looked shocked about whatever Hotch was telling her; when she hung up JJ immediately asked: "What happened?"
Emily sighed before answering: "Someone from the local PD spoke to the press without checking with us and talked about your abduction, Hotch said that it's all over the news, your name isn't mentioned but you are referenced to as our media liaison."
"Shit, Will is going to know.", JJ spoke fearfully and as if on cue her phone rang, which was laying on the bedside table, the caller ID revealed it to be her boyfriend. Before Emily could say anything else, JJ had already answered. She couldn't make out what Will said, but she heard his raised voice and angry tone. JJ's face crumbled at whatever he was telling her, she tried to say something a couple of times, but it was no use, his rage infested tirade continued without her having the chance to speak; he was also the one to hang up on her.
When JJ lowered her phone Emily asked gently: "What did he say Jayje?" ...
When Dr. Keppler returned about an hour later, JJ was exhausted and more than ready to finally get out of this town. They had decided that JJ would stay with Emily for now after Will had basically broken up with her over the phone. He had told her that he was tired of her always trying to be the hero of every story and then demanding sympathy and pity while she should care for her family. While this outburst had shocked the agent, there was a part of her that was relieved that she didn't have to deal with him right now but that she was able to be in the safety of Emily's company with Henry; Will's slightly sexist and rusty idea of women luckily led to the advantage that he thought of the responsibility of caring for children on the woman's side. Still, JJ felt like an emotional vacuum at this point, she was exhausted both physically and mentally.
