By the time they finished the discharge, it was already well past noon. The flight back had already been arranged, so when Morgan picked up the women from the hospital, they were headed straight to the airport. JJ absently stared out the window during the twenty minute car ride. Her thoughts were all over the place, so much had happened in the past days, it was too much for any human being to process. While she at times had felt like she was drowning in her emotions, she now just felt nothing at all. Though nothing may not be the right term; she felt a big eternal void that didn't seem to start or end anywhere, it was engulfing her, she felt empty, detached, numb, paralysed.
This posed as a stark contrast to her racing thoughts, they were filled with worry, insecurities and uncertainties, but she didn't feel any of that. She was separated from her emotions.
Emily realised that her friend was lost in her own world but decided to let her be for the time being. The flight was spend much the same, to JJ it was all a blur. She saw herself briefly interacting with the other team members, it was like being on auto-pilot and watching yourself from the outside. Emily thought that it would be counterproductive to try to talk to JJ when she was surrounded by the team, her initial hopes that she would sleep also didn't come true. To be honest, Emily was extremely exhausted herself, she hadn't slept at the hospital and while she was glad that JJ had agreed to staying with her, she also felt extremely inadequate. She didn't know how to help JJ, what to do or what to say. She was scared of not being able to give her firmed what she needed.
Hotch observed his two female agents discretely, they both seemed absent-minded; he had been busy with wrapping up the case, therefore this was the first time that he was able to focus on them. He figured that there was something else going on apart from what Daniels had done to JJ; Emily had informed him about the fact that JJ would be staying with her and her expression had told him not to ask questions right now. While he was obviously worried for his media liaison, partly because he felt a certain responsibility for sending her to the family by herself, his worry now extended to Emily: she looked exhausted and overwhelmed. He realised that she had taken everything on herself and would probably continue to do so as JJ was staying with her. Hitch got up from his seat and walked over to sit across from Emily. When she looked up, he said: "Hey, how are you doing?"
She put on a fake smile that didn't reach her eyes and answered: "I'm good, I mean I'm worried about her but...", she stopped when she saw Hotch's expression that clearly said 'come on, who are you kidding': "Emily, I know that you think that you have to be strong for her and keep going, but you can't handle everything by yourself." Emily looked like she wanted to intervene, but Hotch continued: "Look, I don't know what happened but there is clearly more to it. I'm not asking you to tell me anything right now, but you need to trust the team. I get that she is most comfortable with you at the moment but you can't help her if you burn out trying to do so. Accept help, both from us and professionals, too." Emily looked at the ground and was silent for a few moments but then she just said: "Thanks, Hotch. I needed this." Getting up, he just replied: "I know."
When they landed, Emily took both of their go-bags and guided JJ over to her car. Neither of them felt like talking, there was nothing appropriate that could be said at this point. They were heading to JJ's place to get Henry and pack a few essentials for both of them; Will would be staying with a friend over the weekend and had therefore called a babysitter to watch Henry until JJ got there. As it was already evening, Henry fell asleep on the way to Emily's flat. While JJ set up her son in the guest bedroom, Emily decided to prepare some food; she wasn't hungry and she couldn't imagine that JJ was but it was necessary. JJ went into the kitchen when Emily had already prepared sandwiches for them. Eyeing the food, JJ said hesitantly: "Thanks Em, but I'm not really hungry and" "Neither am I but we need some food", she interrupted her. JJ nodded and sat down, they were quietly taking small bites of the sandwiches, both forcing down the food rather than eating it. Emily tried to come up with an innocuous topic for some small talk to break the suffocating silence that surrounded them at this point. She couldn't find one though and had almost wanted to ask about Henry but she didn't want to remind her of Will. It was like walking on eggshells.
Emily realised that she had stopped eating and when she looked up, she saw that JJ had abandoned her sandwich and was clutching her hands around the glass. JJ must have felt Emily's gaze and suddenly, when their eyes met, JJ couldn't hold back the sobs, which painfully pierced through the silence. Emily instinctively got up and wrapped her arms around her friend initially whispering words of assurances. They ended up as a bundle on the floor, Emily simply holding JJ, completely at a loss about how to help her. And finally Emily let go as well, crying with JJ, literally feeling her pain.
