5. An Interrupted Meal

Story Start: The Baratie

Sanji quickly returned after getting Luffy an apron. It seemed that even though he was the Sous Chef, he was pulling double duty as a waiter as well. Not that he seemed to have a problem with that job. He came out of the kitchen completely loaded to bare, dishes lining both arms and one leg, somehow moving around in a way that nothing fell off the plates, not even the soups in their bowls, even when he hopped down the stairs one legged.

I shook that little mystery off as 'Anime logic, ignore' and took a glance through the menu. I had just decided on trying the bacon and cheddar brisket (bacon, mmm) when Sanji came to our table, notepad and pencil at the ready. He gave Nami a deep theatrical bow and said "My fair lady, I thank you for gracing us with your angelic presence. Please, tell this lowly chef what it is you so desire and I will endeavor to make it the most memorable meal you have eaten!"

As Nami gave a pretty blush that I was pretty sure was half for show, half genuine, I glanced upwards towards the ceiling and thought to myself 'Oh boy, we've got a Casanova here, I just hope he's not the kind to be antagonistic to the same gender as himself.'

"And what shall you bastards lucky enough to travel with this beautiful swan have?" Sanji asked after taking Nami's order.

'Called it.' I thought in amusement as the others gave their orders. When it came to me, I gave my order but also said "Hey Sous Chef, do you think you guys could make us a pitcher of a custom drink? I'm not entirely sure if you guys would know it but it's a pretty simple recipe."

"Hm?" Sanji hummed in curiosity before nodding and said "If you know the recipe then we can make it, easy."

Nodding, I put my hand in my pants pocket and pulled out my phone. Ignoring the odd look Sanji was giving the, by this world's standards, technological wonder, I pulled up the Safari internet app and quickly found what I was looking for. Holding the phone up for Sanji to see, I said "Here's the recipe."

Sanji quickly jotted down the recipe on a fresh page in his notebook even as he mused to himself "Applewood Julep eh, that's a South Blue drink I believe, yeah, we can make this for you no problem." And with that, Sanji quickly moved back into the kitchen.

"What's Applewood Julep?" Usopp asked with a cocked head.

Leaning back a little in my chair and putting away my phone, I said "It's a mix of a quart of unsweetened apple juice, a cup of unsweetened pineapple juice, a cup of orange juice, a quarter cup of lemon juice, all chilled, and a little bit of fresh mint sprigs. I figured I wouldn't be able to have it for a while given I'll be on a ship for long periods of time so I thought we could have it here."

"Hm, the mint at least would be rather hard to keep around without a dedicated garden on board." Nami said, nodding her head in agreement.

"It does sound interesting." Usopp said.

"Whatever, it ain't Sake so I don't care." Zorro said with a snort.

"Heathen." I hissed under my breath, only half joking. Zoro cocked his eyebrow at me but before he could say anything, Sanji was back, carrying a pitcher that had condensation on it denoting its chilled nature and several glasses, enough regular sized ones filled with water for us and a small stack of shot glasses as well. Setting the pitcher down in the center of our table and beginning to hand out the water, Nami first obviously, Sanji smiled and said "Here you are my lady and her hanger-ons, one pitcher of Applewood Julep."

"Oi, hanger-ons?" Usopp said lowly with an unimpressed look.

Me, I chose to ignore that little bit of gender specific trolling and instead poured myself a shot of the julep. Giving it a sip, I closed my eyes for a moment before I nodded and gave a thumb's up to Sanji as I said "Yep, that's Applewood Julep alright, I'm impressed you guys mixed it up so quickly. It usually takes me ten minutes to get everything measured out then mixed."

"You must not mix drinks often then sir, for something as simple as this, it is no trouble at all." Sanji said, pleased with my approval.

I snorted and said "You got that right. Usually my 'mixing' is limited to chocolate and strawberry syrup in my milk."

Sanji allowed a snort to pass through his nose as well as he said "Plebian. I suppose given how you shall be here for a while I shall have to show you how to properly mix chocolate and strawberries into your milk. But for now, please enjoy the Julep while we work on your orders. They shall be out shortly." And with that, he gave an elaborate bow to Nami before zipping back into the kitchen.

Chuckling as he rose out of sight up the stair case, I looked at the rest of the currently captain less crew and knocked back my shot glass and said "I like him."

"You like him." Usopp repeated flatly.

I shrugged and as I refilled the shot glass said "Anyone willing to properly interact with the customers rather than just take orders and bring out food can't be too bad at their job."

"Eh, fair enough I guess." Usopp said with a shrug as he moved to pour his own shot before he stiffened and said "Head's up, that Marine guy is coming back down."

We all watched as the Lieutenant walked down the stairs. His cocky attitude was quite diminished, the pink haired marine looking like he had the wind taken out of his sails quite efficiently. He slowly made his way back to the table his date was sitting at and less sat down and more fell down into his seat. His date asked him a question, concern plain on her face and he answered her before he began spooning his soup.

A few minutes later, Sanji and Luffy came down the stairs again, Sanji placing our appetizers on the table in front of us while Luffy carried a large tub towards the tables where customers were finished eating. He looked like he wanted to head to the tables where there was still food on the plates, but when Sanji glanced towards him, he stiffened with a full bodied shiver before he went back to collecting empty plates, whistling as he resolutely kept his gaze away from the cook.

Raising an eyebrow at the sight, I said "Geeze, what'd you do to him? When I joined this crew a few days ago I had to fight him off at meal times."

Sanji smirked and said "I merely told him I knew a few recipes for monkey meat that I'd like to try out if he wanted to volunteer."

That got Usopp and Zoro snickering and Nami giggled into her hand. I smirked and said "Mou, that was rather mean of you Mr. Chef."

"Perhaps, but if it keeps him from misbehaving then I will use it." Sanji said with a smirk.

There was the sound of mismatched footsteps on the stairs and we glanced over to see Zeff coming down the stairs. His eyes roamed over his kingdom as he made sure nothing was disrupting the customers. Fullbody stiffened fearfully as Zeff eyed him for a moment and the Head Chef smirked viciously for a moment before scanning the rest of the restaurant. I eyeballed yet another chef coming out of the hall that had a restroom sign on it, this guy looking like a top heavy Cuban with pop eye arms and thin legs. The man was drying his hands on his apron before everyone's attention was brought to the restaurant entrance as the double doors slammed open.

In the door way was a panicking Marine who shouted "L-Lieutenant! Lieutenant Fullbody! We've got a problem! The Pirate Krieg's man has escaped!"

"What?!" Fullbody asked in a panic.

"We've already lost seven of our men sir." The scared Marine said.

"That's ridiculous! When we got him three days ago, he was about to starve to death! And we haven't fed him yet, have we?" Fullbody said, stunned at how apparently an on death's door pirate could escape his brig.

As the customers began getting scared as well talking about how Krieg was the strongest of the East Blue, I noticed both Sanji and Zeff's eyes hardening when they heard that Fullbody had been starving the prisoner. Before I could figure out if that was just their pride as chefs talking or something else, a gunshot rang out and everyone's attention snapped back to the entrance.

The marine was lying on the floor, clutching at his bleeding right shoulder. And behind him, walking on slightly unsteady legs, was a man looking like death warmed over. The pirate made his way to an empty table and sat down, putting one of his feet on the table as he said "I don't care what it is, but bring me some food."

The Pop Eye look alike waiter came up to the table with hands clasped and said "But of course, you crook. But ah, do you have any money to pay for your meal?"

The gun the pirate was holding clicked as it appeared in the waiter's face. (And HOW that works is a question of anime physics I will never understand.) Giving the waiter a dead eyed look, the pirate said "Do you accept bullets?"

The chef's face fell flat and he said "That would be a no to having money then." The next instant, the chef slammed a fist down into the pirate's gut, sending him crashing through the chair and into the floor.

"Oi Patty, don't go breaking my chairs you bastard!" Zeff barked out.

"Wow, what power!" Usopp said in surprise.

"Meh, I could do better." Zoro said.

Usopp's expression went flat and he said "Zoro, you're not human so you can't talk."

"And your point is?" Zoro asked causing Usopp to grumble to himself.

Meanwhile, the now named Patty was beating the Krieg Pirate to cheers of the customers and other chefs who had taken positions on the stairwell railing. A loud growling sound interrupted the beating and Patty grinned as he said "Oh ho, your stomach's growling quite loudly there, you filthy pirate."

"Shut up, it's just gas." The pirate bit out.

Patty snorted and kicked the pirate a few times to more cheers before he gave the customers a curtsey before dragging the pirate out. I noticed that Fullbody was quickly escorting his date out of the doors just in front of him. Clearly, he wanted nothing to do with this restaurant. I glanced back at the rest of the captain less crew and said "Yeesh, the guy could have at least given him a loaf of bread then sent him on his way rather than just beat him up like that."

The other three made noises of agreement and Sanji gave a short bow as he said "If you will excuse me, I believe that I shall go check on the progress of your food."

He turned to leave and joined Luffy at the stairs, the rubber man's arms full of dirty dishes. Zeff followed the pair after a moment and I smirked as I said "Check on our food's progress, right."

"Matt?" Usopp asked with a confused tilt of his head.

Chuckling a little, I said "I'm genre savy enough to guess that he's going to make that guy a quick but proper meal. Two hundred Beri says that guy winds up our chef."

Nami grinned and said "I'll take that action!"

Still chuckling, I poured myself another cup of Julep and took a sip as I went back to waiting for the rest of our food to arrive, plans of what I could do with us staying around in one place for supposedly a month running through my head as I did so.

END

Author's Notes: Update Schedule and Poll on Profile

I apologize for this being almost completely copied from Tailor, but there was pretty much NOTHING for the Straw Hats to do during this episode. (Remember, same events, different fruit) Chapter six makes up for that though so look forward to that.