8. Buddy, Your Armor Isn't As Good As You Think It Is

Previously:

Here come the locusts." Sanji said and Luffy and I turned our gazes to where all of the Krieg Pirates were preparing to charge. Luffy grinned as he looked out at them and asked "Hey, Mister! If I chase those guys off...can I stop being chore boy?"

Zeff looked amused as he said "Sure kid, beat up the pirates and I'll call us even."

'Heh. Called it!' I thought to myself with a smirk. The prelude was finished. Now the main event was about to begin...

Now: Baratie

Carne and Patty quickly ran into the restaurant and then to the front where the fish head was. I raised an eyebrow as my Observation Haki tracked them but brought my attention back outside as Sanji said "At this rate, the ship will become a battlefield." Turning to one of the cooks, he continued "Go to the operating room and open up the fins."

"What? Open the fins? That's gonna give a foot hold to the enemy!" The chef said.

"No, Sanji's right. If you fight inside then the fight will inevitably wreck the interior of the ship. And while it's one thing for a wall to get a hole knocked out, we can't take the chance of your kitchen getting damaged. I had a look inside and those are gas stoves you use, rupture the lines and we're going to have problems." I said with a frown.

The chef flinched at that but still looked at Zeff for confirmation. But at the Head Chef's nod he quickly sprinted back inside. A few moments later, a grinding sound came from below decks and the fins rose, pushing the closest Krieg pirates in the water away with the waves they generated as they came up before they stopped with a loud slam sound, a hole in the fin the perfect size to go around the small slip of a dock that was already extended past the ship's railing.

Luffy had stars in his eyes as he said "Oooh, that's amazing!"

"Yeah, pretty impressive, bet it makes steering a hassle when they're down though." I said with a nod.

"Oh, you have no idea." One of the chefs muttered earning nods from the others around him.

My lips twitched up at that before I looked at Luffy and said "Captain, if it's alright with you I'm going to move to the second floor and provide covering fire." I COULD help fight in close but even with the fins the water was a bit too close for my liking.

Luffy nodded and said "If that's what you want Matt."

Nodding, I shifted into my Were-Lemur form so that way I could easily vault up and over the second floor railing, shifting fully into Zaboomafoo when I landed so that way I would be a smaller target from any sharp shooters the Kriegs might have. Kneeling, I removed the shoulder stock for better angling but kept the rifling and laser sight on as I poked the barrel through a gap in the railing then pumped the gun four times. A moment to choose my targets among the pirates that were swimming to the edge of the fin, then I pulled the trigger.

Two hundred feet might not be all that impressive when you consider how sniper rifles can hit a target at least a mile away back in my world but when the bright yellow shot hit the target a hundred feet from the fin's edge right in the middle of his forehead instantly killing him it made all of his buddies recoil back in shocked horror.

When my second shot proved just as deadly, the pirates were quick to dive underwater to try and reach the cover the fin provided. If this had been the Caribbean with its clear water that tactic wouldn't have worked but sadly the water was clouded enough and the pirates dove deep enough for anything but lucky shots so I instead turned my gaze onto the lip of the fin.

The pirates didn't seem to want to come up though, not that I blamed them. A few moments later though Krieg yelled out "What are you cowards doing?! Just swarm them and shoot the bastard once you're close enough!"

Several more Krieg pirates began swimming over, diving under at what they assumed were safe distances to continue underwater to the fins, popping up for quick breathes of air when needed but most diving back under before I could get a clean shot off. I did manage to tag a third pirate before he could reach the fin though.

Frowning, I called down to Luffy "That fin's about to get crowded Captain."

Luffy laughed and said "Shishi, don't worry, I like crowded."

"Of course he does." I said, rolling my eyes with a grin. A moment later though, I was distracted by the sound of large latches coming undone from the front of the ship and saw the fish head pull out, an awning popping up and a fin moving forward. As the boat with a small paddle wheel on each side turned I saw three cannons coming out of the mouth and Patty loudly laughing as he said "Behold Krieg Pirates! The Mackerel 1!"

The pair of sea cooks began shooting at the pirates that were still on the Galleon debris or in the water near said pieces of broken ship. It SEEMED like an effective strategy, and even made the pirates by the fin pause from beginning to climb up to boot, but then the pair made the most unwise decision to not only shoot at Krieg but get within arm's reach as well.

When the smoke cleared, Krieg had his left hand raised seeming to be without a scratch and he used that hand to pick up the Mackerel by the barrel of the middle cannon. Glaring at the small vessel trapped by his single hand, he shouted "I am Don Krieg! The man who will conquer the world's sea! I don't have time to play these games!" He then let out a roar of exertion as he lifted the metal boat that was easily four times taller than him up one handed before throwing it over his shoulder. Though seemingly against his wishes to take the ship intact, that sent the Mackerel straight towards the Baratie.

One of the chef's shouted "Oh no, the ship will be destroyed!"

Then Sanji was jumping up into the air and intercepted the Mackerel, kicking it hard enough to not only stop its forward progress but to even fall backwards a short distance before crashing into the fin bow first. I winced at the damage the Mackerel's landing caused to the fin before I noticed that the pirates on the edge were taking advantage of the distraction to climb aboard.

"Oh, we can't have that." I muttered to myself before I shot the pirate the furthest away from the side the Mackerel landed in the head, pumped the Battlescout twice and shot the now panicking pirate beside him in the chest. Quickly going down the line, I managed to hit five more pirates before they did the smart thing and leapt back into the water to Krieg's displeasure as he shouted "WHAT ARE YOU COWARDS DOING?! I SAID TO SWARM THEM!"

"YOU DON"T HAVE THE NUMBERS TO DO THAT ANYMORE ASSHOLE!" I shouted at him with a grin.

"YOU IMPUDENT BUG!" Krieg roared at me and I laughed even as he tried and failed to shoot me with his twelve guns. The rounds reached my position but they were inaccurate as all hell at that range and not a single one hit my small form.

It was only when a large chested but thin armed man wearing shields on his front, back, knees, elbows, and in his hands with pearls on them stood up after climbing onto the fin that I realized that Krieg had just been a distraction. The man flicked his fingers and several of the chefs including Carne and Patty dropped, taken out by the black pearl sized balls he flung out.

The man laughed and said "I am the Krieg Pirates' Iron Wall, Pearl! In my last sixty-one battles, I have won them all COMPLETELY unharmed. I have never even spilled a single drop of blood in a battle."

The moment he spoke the last word, an electric round went through his right eye and out the back of his head. As Pearl's body dropped amidst the shouts of alarm from the Krieg Pirates I said "You're dead weight is what you are." Once more pumping my Battlescout four times, I continued "As I proved earlier, armor's all fine and dandy but it's no good against pin point weapons' fire."

Krieg grit his teeth in anger so hard I swear I could hear one of them cracking from over three hundred feet away. His right eyelid twitched once but then his face smoothed over when he saw something. An instant later, I quickly leapt back avoiding the cannonball that smashed into the deck where I used to be. Grinning at Gin who had TRIED to ambush me from the side, I said "Hey there, Gin! Finally joining this fight?"

Gin stared down at me with a hard look in his eyes as he spun his right tonfa and said "It seems that I should have gone for speed rather than stealth when trying to stop you from shooting my crewmates. No matter, you won't be able to kill any more of them."

"Oh, I wouldn't count on that." I said, sheathing my Battlescout. An instant later, I leapt at the wall, kicking off and over the railing. Landing in my were-lemur form, I landed right in front of the Krieg pirates that were charging towards the cooks. Luffy was instantly by my side and we proceeded to tear through the closest pirates before we jumped apart from each other to avoid Gin's tonfas when he leapt over the railing after me and tried to brain us, his weapons smashing through the wood of the fin up to his hands.

Cackling as I knocked another Krieg Pirate into the water with a strong kick, I called to Gin who was going after Luffy "Using a blunt object like that on a Rubber Man? I thought you were smarter than that Gin!"

"The blows may not hurt him, but all I have to do is knock him into the water. The sea will do the rest." Gin said calmly even as Luffy sent his torso bending away from Gin's strikes, his spine bending in ways that more resembled a Looney Tune than a member of the Anime Big Three.

"Shishi, good luck with that!" Luffy said with a laugh. He then leapt straight up to avoid the stupidly long net that Krieg threw, it's strands clanking as they hit the wood showing that it was made out of a metal, most likely iron given the dull look of said metal a small part of my mind rationalized even as I ducked under a high mace swing from a Krieg Pirate then came up with a rising uppercut that DEMANDED I call out "Shoryuken!" Said pirate lifted up off his feet for a good two feet before I brought up my legs and kicked him in a manner more appropriate to being a Kangaroo zoan rather than a lemur. The pirate was flung back and knocked over five other pirates that were trying to rush towards me. A few powerful kicks to either side of me gave me the space needed to draw my Battlescout, twist off and store the rifling attachment which was a bit of a hassle in close quarters and then just pump and fire at any pirate who got too close, forgoing accurate sure kill shots for rapid fire suppression to the center mass. It was sloppy but effective, dropping all of the melee fighters surrounding me with at least two shots per person, the last one in the immediate area with five.

While I proved that the Battlescout wasn't just a medium range weapon, Luffy took a page out of my playbook and used the shaft of Gin's striking tonfa to leap up in the air in order to strike a massive spiked ball on a chain wielded by Krieg. (And seriously, where'd he hide THAT?! It was easily twice as tall as Luffy and just as wide!) Snarling as he landed, Luffy called out "Oi, stop trying to put holes in the ship!" His stretching mule kick to Gin's torso when he tried to take advantage of Luffy's 'distraction' forced Gin to cross his arms to block and still sent him skidding back five feet.

"Then do me the curtesy of staying still and dying!" Krieg cried back as he swung his ball and chain over his head before launching it forward again.

Luffy leapt over the ball as it came at him, one hand on his hat as he said "Nah, being dead sounds boring." He then reached down with his free hand, grabbing the chain and being pulled through the air as Krieg yanked the chain back with an excited "YAHOO!"

If Krieg showed any surprise at Luffy using his own weapon to get close, he didn't keep that look for very long. Instead as Luffy got closer, he dropped the chain from his left hand and pulled out a cape filled with spikes and laughed as he said "So what if you get closer, you can't hit me!"

"WANNA BET!" Luffy shouted before he too let go of the chain and slammed a punch into Krieg's cheek, AFTER hitting the porcupine cape that was in the way, snapping Krieg's head to the side and laying him out flat.

"Ooh!" I said with a wince, several of the chefs behind me imitating my response. That HAD to hurt, especially since Luffy wasn't able to use Armament Haki to negate the piercing damage. Luckily he hadn't punched a spike straight on or he'd be missing at least a finger and have a hole going from where said finger USED to be and all the way to the wrist. As it was, blood was still pouring off of his hand and dripping onto the wooden deck under Luffy's feet.

"DON KRIEG!" Gin shouted in surprise. Surprise matched by the Krieg Pirates who were still in the water who expressed their disbelief that Krieg was beaten. The chefs meanwhile started cheering for Luffy but he and I remained ready for action, the both of us keeping our Observation Haki on Krieg even as I kept my gaze on Gin who was once again the only Krieg Pirate on the ship, or at least the only one who could fight still.

The reason why we weren't relaxing our attention from Krieg was because our Observation Haki told us that while his bell had certainly been rung he wasn't actually unconscious just yet. A few moments later, he seemed to get his senses back as he stood up and cracked his neck to one side.

"Done taking your nap?" Luffy asked with a grin.

Krieg growled at Luffy and said "You impudent bug. When I get through with you you're going to regret ever going out to sea!"

Krieg pulled the left shield off of his shoulder and slapped it on his left fist. The next moment, the rim popped open revealing several weapon barrels and a belt of ammo unrolled. Grinning, Krieg shouted out "DIE!" and there was the sound of a tommy gun going off as he shot several yellow and green striped stakes at Luffy, or rather, he tried. Warned by his Observation Haki, Luffy ran around the battlefield, ducking, spinning, and grappling among the wreckage of the Galleon. And Luffy was LAUGHING as he did so.

"SHISHISHISHISHI, OI, OI! WHY'S YOUR AIM SO BAD?!" Luffy asked, actually ducking under a stream of stakes while stopping so that when the spikes went past him he could stand up and stick his tongue out at Krieg. Naturally this pissed Krieg off even more and Luffy went right back to dodging the stakes. Eventually though, Krieg ran out of stakes and Luffy called out "Oh dear, you sure are wasteful with your ammo!" His arms stretched out and he grabbed a mast, rocketing to it and then immediately kicking off of it to land back near Krieg with a laugh as he continued "That's why I stick to my fists, can't run out of THOSE! SHISHISHI!"

Krieg growled and said "You are beginning to really make me angry bug!" Taking the right shield off his shoulder, he combined it with the left and pulled on a handle that extend out to spear length, a blade coming out of the top.

"There it is, Krieg's ultimate weapon, the Daisenso! (Great Battle Spear)" One of the Krieg Pirates in the water shouted, another followed up with "Every time it hits something it explodes! Weighing one ton, only Don Krieg can wield it!"

I frowned and called out "OI LUFFY, LET'S SWAP! YOU HAVEN'T MANAGED TO GET ARMAMENT HAKI WORKING YET RIGHT?! I CAN TAKE THOSE EXPLOSIONS A LOT BETTER THAN YOU CAN!"

"NO! STAY WHERE YOU ARE MATT! I TOLD YOU BEFORE, CAPTAINS FIGHT CAPTAINS!" Luffy shouted back with a glare before he quickly leapt to the side to avoid Krieg who TRIED to take advantage of Luffy's distraction. The wooden deck where Luffy had been standing exploded under the strike but Krieg was already moving to try and hit Luffy with furious swings of his weapon.

My attention was grabbed by Gin as he said "If you want a fight so badly, I'll give you one." The next instant, he launched himself at me with his left tonfa spinning.

I snapped off a quick shot with the Battlescout but Gin intercepted the electric round with his tonfa. And while he stiffened as the charge carried from his tonfa into his hand, he didn't stop his advance. Tsking to myself, I leapt to the side out of the way, sheathing the Battlescout as I did so. Landing, I got into a ready stance and said "You won't have any more luck fighting me then you did Luffy Gin. You and the others should withdraw, continuing to fight will only see even more of your crewmates injured or killed."

"Maybe so, but Krieg has ordered us to take this restaurant, and we shall do so." Gin said, right tonfa spinning now.

I noted with my Observation Haki how the remaining Krieg pirates were cautiously making their way closer to the fin as Gin spoke. Clearly they believed that Gin would be able to deal with me allowing them to attack the chefs. The chefs though seemed ready for them, Patty and Carne already recovered and radiating both determination and an eagerness to get involved in the fighting again. I glanced over in their direction. Seeing the question in my eyes, Sanji smirked around his cigarette and gave me a thumbs up.

Deciding to trust that the chefs could handle themselves, I allowed the approaching Krieg Pirates to go to the back of my mind and instead turned my full focus onto Gin. Decision made, I leapt forward, and as Gin brought his right tonfa up to intercept me I spun around and smacked my Haki'd tail into the approaching cannonball. Physics came into play, causing me to spin the opposite way even as Gin's tonfa continued on its path and I brought my left leg up and around to slam my foot into Gin's right cheek.

Gin was thrown to the side but he easily went with the blow, rolling back up to his feet and immediately coming back at me. His next swing, I shifted into Zaboomafoo and latched onto his right leg. Opening my mouth, my teeth turned black and I chomped down on Gin's leg causing him to yell out in pain and thrash his leg around trying to dislodge me. When my Observation Haki told me he was going to try and dislodge me with his tonfa, I let go, quickly getting out of the way and spat to the side as I said "UGH, I definitely should have thought a bit before I did that, when was the last time you had a bath?!"

Gin's eyes gleamed with twin stars of menace as he said "Alright, before this was just a job, now you've made it personal." He then gained a rictus grin and said "Do me a favor and go back into that half and half form so that way I can make you into a fur coat."

I shook my head and said in my best diva voice "Dahling, fur is SO not your thing." The next moment, I darted back forward. Gin tried to hit me with his Tonfa but I managed to side step the ball as it smashed another hole in the deck, leaping up on its shaft and scrambling up it and Gin's arm. Once at the shoulder, I shifted to Were Lemur and pinned his arms with my legs while I wrapped my right arm around his neck with my left arm wrapped around my right. Gin struggled in my sleeper hold for a few moments then went limp and fell to the ground.

Getting up, I grinned and said "Thanks Ducky." Taking Gin's headband off of him, I cut it in half with my knife and tied all four of his limbs together, making a mental note to always carry at least one roll of duck tape on me at all times from now on as I did so. Turning around to where a group of Krieg Pirates had stopped their approach to where the chefs were fighting some of their comrades, I pulled the Battlescout out of its sheath and said "Now then, who else wants some?"

I pumped the Battlescout and the pirates traded a quick glance with each other before they shot back towards the edge of the deck, diving into the ocean and staying out of sight. I snorted and said "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Firing then putting the Battlescout back onto my back, I turned back to where the Chefs were fighting and quickly leapt over to give those who looked like they were struggling a hand. Working with Sanji, Patty, and Carne, we soon had the rest of the Krieg Pirates knocked out. As Patty dusted his hands, he asked "Oi Carpenter! Why didn't you just shoot them with that gun of yours?"

"Yeah, it would have been a lot quicker." Carne said in agreement.

"Because the shortest distance the round will travel is twenty five feet. I don't think you guys want me shooting through them and into you." I said.

More than one chef swallowed at that and Carne said "Uh, good point."

With that question answered, I turned around and focused on Luffy's fight with Krieg. Luffy's arms from the elbows down weren't looking too good, covered in the anime/cartoon soot associated with being in the middle of an explosion. I frowned wondering why that was given that the REST of him looked fine. I got my answer when after another sideways swing and an explosion from Krieg's weapon the spear tip of the Daisenso shattered.

Krieg stared at the shattered metal of his weapon and asked "What did you do to it?!"

Luffy stuck out his tongue then said with a grin "I hit the pointy end five times. I guess that's all your 'greatest weapon' could take."

"Oh that moronic badass." I whispered to myself, immediately understanding why he would do that. Yeah, explosions were bad, even for Luffy who while able to deal with the concussive force still could get hurt by the heat and the shrapnel, but it was much less effective in damaging him then getting shanked or sliced up by that spear tip. Still, that didn't change the fact that I was going to have to apply burn cream to his lower arms and hands then wrap them up for a bit at the end of this.

As Zeff spoke metaphorically to Sanji about spears of determination (and saying off handedly that Sanji was holding HIS spear back for an idiotic reason) I took out the Battlescout from its sheath on my back and pulled out the rifling barrel and shoulder stock from their pockets on the duck tape sheath and reattached them to the Battlescout before re-sheathing it, more to give my hands something to do rather than in expectation of providing relatively long ranged support.

We watched as Krieg taunted Luffy from atop one of the giant masts. Luffy somehow defied gravity to run up the 85% incline with arms stretching behind him for a Gum Gum Bazooka. Krieg slammed his Daisenso into the mast as hard as he could just as Luffy reached him but Luffy burst through the smoke and slammed his Bazooka right to his chest. Krieg lost his grip on the Daisenso as he was thrown off of the mast but as he flew back he released several small spherical bombs that destroyed the mast throwing up a massive smoke cloud hiding Luffy from sight.

While several of the chefs called out "Chore Boy!" in distress, I narrowed my eyes as my Observation Haki showed me Luffy tensing his legs inside of the cloud then shooting out with a roar of determination. Krieg's shock and disbelief poured off of him like a waterfall to my Observation Haki, shock and disbelief which rapidly turned to pain as Luffy Bazooka'd him again which caused his armor to shatter.

Krieg though showed he wasn't beat yet. As he fell, his iron net made a reappearance and quickly surrounded Luffy who couldn't dodge in midair even though he saw it coming with his Observation Haki. Still, the net didn't stop him from popping out his arms and feet and Luffy stretched out his legs, twisting them around each other as they reached for Krieg, feet going around his face. Once he had Krieg's face between his feet, Luffy spun him like a propeller up over his body and into the Baratie's fin with a cry of "Gum Gum GAVEL!"

I didn't need my Observation Haki to know that Krieg was knocked out cold by the finisher move. While the remaining Krieg Pirates exclaimed their shook at Krieg's defeat, I took a moment to appreciate that fact before I snapped my gaze back up to Luffy. A quick moment of tracking his trajectory then working out where he would land, I cursed when I realized he'd hit water.

Spinning around, I shouted to the chefs "OI GUYS, LUFFY'S GOING INTO THE DRINK, AND DEVIL FRUIT USERS CAN'T SWIM!"

"SHIT!" Sanji shouted, quickly taking off his shoes and suit jacket before sprinting towards the fin's edge and taking a massive leap, splashing into the water halfway to where Luffy had fallen in. There was a tense couple of minutes before Sanji broke the surface with a gasp of air, Luffy held in his arms.

I let out a sigh of relief at the sight though I didn't relax just yet. After all, there were still Krieg Pirates in the water. Thankfully though, they either were still in shock or had lost the will to fight when Krieg finally lost so Sanji was unhassled as he came back aboard with Luffy. Once the pair were aboard, I was next to them and finding Luffy unresponsive took advantage of his rubber body to slam a fist down on his diaphragm. Luffy shot up into a sitting position, coughing out the water in his lungs and I said chipperly "Oh good, I don't need to do mouth to mouth. That'd have been embarrassing."

Sanji cringed at that mental image and I felt a surge of amusement at the look on his face but I soon focused on the important things, namely getting Luffy up to his feet as I said "Come on Captain, let's get you inside so that I can look at those arms."

"Kay." Luffy said and I walked him into the Baratie. Let the chefs deal with the remaining Krieg Pirates, I had a Captain to patch up. Though as we passed through the entry way I did have to wonder, how the hell had Luffy managed to keep his straw hat on all this time?

END

Author's Notes: Two down, one to go. You know, in Pirate King's Tailor, I always pictured the SI stopping the MH5 bomb from going off by wrapping it in about six feet of duck tape but since Gin never fought Sanji that didn't happen. The same thing happened here since Gin went after this Version's SI to stop his medium range sniping. I think that High Winds Matt is going to have to go after the mooks that aren't on the fin to let that fight finally happen because I REALLY want to no sell that weapon...