*Beginning to have writer's block. Oh no!
I stayed by Nobu's side for the rest of the party. My behavior was unusual. It was my duty to mingle with all the guests, and not just the hosts of the party, even though one of them was my Danna.
For once, I neglected the rules of my trade. I decided that Nobu had betrayed his business character for me and he deserved this, a night of my complete attention.
Our conversation did not flow easily. Nobu still continued to have a darkened expression for much of the night, but he ceased throwing cruel accusations at me. Once or twice my eyes traveled to where the Chairman was sitting and my attention slipped slightly as I pondered his earlier words. I did not have the time to think on this deeply now but I promised myself that later I would try to understand why he was so concerned about Nobu's ultimate decision to reject Tanaka's business offer.
I understood his business motives for being concerned about Nobu's behavior, but Nobu had been his partner for years and the Chairman had often expressed his stalwart trust in him and his business savvy. It was unlikely that the Chairman's trust in Nobu's business dealings was beginning to falter now.
When I had the time, I would think on it, but now I did not. I knew that I must do all I could to salvage my break with Nobu and make this night go by easy.
As I searched for things to lighten Nobu's mood, I recalled my meeting with Hideo Suzuki. I casually mentioned him to Nobu, thinking that this was something that would interest him. Nobu immediately stiffened.
"Hideo Suzuki? That great big fool?" he sneered. "What was Mameha thinking?"
"She said that he was an old friend of hers," I said in a calm voice.
Nobu scoffed and drank his scotch. I poured him another glass.
"Those men from those families are all the same!" he spat, "They are just like the Baron. So committed to living in the past! Antiquated old fools."
"Our nation is still headed by an Emperor," I said reasonably, "Nobu-san should not talk this way. It goes against tradition."
"Times are changing, Sayuri. The sooner those so called "aristocratic" fools realize it, the better. I have no qualms against the Emperor, but he is not the actual head of the government. The military is."
I looked at him.
"I sometimes forget how young and impressionable you are, Sayuri-san!"
Nobu took another long drink and set his glass down."The Samurai families are nearly extinct. The Emperor sits on a council and decides the fate of our country with the advice of Army Generals. And believe me, they are often no better than the Aristocratic fools they replaced."
"You were in the Army" I pointed out. Nobu frowned.
"I was. But those were different times. Men like Hideo Suzuki serve no purpose. They are next to useless, just as many of the Army Generals are. Useless!" Nobu said the last word with such force that I flinched.
"He spoke well of you," I told Nobu. Nobu turned his head away and muttered something. It might have been curse words. I gathered my courage and said " He also said that Nobu-san was related to the Emperor. I had no idea! Mameha and I were quite surprised."
"Those things do not matter to me. It is through my mother that I am related to the Emperor, but she is long since dead and my father's families have no such aspirations or social inclinations. I grew up with the understanding that a man's worth was determined by his successes and failures and not by the titles his family carries."
"I see," I said, folding my hands demurely in my lap. "Forgive me, Nobu-san, but you forget that I earn my livelihood living in a world of tradition. Being a geisha is all about adhering to the laws of tradition."
"That is your use, I suppose it serves a purpose of a kind, but mark my words, men like Suzuki Hideo are a dying breed. They do nothing except become ornaments of the past."
"He seemed a kindly man," I offered. "I'm sure he is a fine ornament." Nobu snorted.
"Tell Mameha to keep you away from them. It does a person no good being next to uselessness."
I smiled coyly. "I am glad that Nobu-san has no such fear being around me."
"You are useful being beautiful," Nobu muttered. He reached for his Scotch and drank deeply. I felt a warmth spread throughout my face even though I was not the one drinking. Suddenly, I knew that I was forgiven.
"When I look at you" Nobu said, continuing his thought, "I feel as though all the beauty that was ever denied to me has come back to me twice fold."
"I am not that beautiful Nobu-san," I said, now earnestly blushing. My white make-up hid my red cheeks. Nobu ignored me as he studied his glass. He turned it this way and that way in his one hand. The light from above made it glint and sparkle.
He sighed.
"When I look at you, all is right with the world and beauty comes easily. Naturally. Like it was always there to begin with. Like it was always there all along, and this is comforting to me. With my one hand, I can touch you. And...when I am with you, I feel at peace." He turned his gaze from his glass and sought my eyes.
Nobu's eyes burned into mine.
"I do not know what I would do if I lost this feeling," he told me.
