I grabbed onto the table hard and breathed through my mouth. I felt like a fish out of water. The world tilted at a sickening angle. Hideo stood up straight and looked at me with open concern. All the months of hard work and little food took their toll on me in that horrible moment.
For the first time since the war began, I felt weak in body, as well as in spirit. I begged myself not to faint.
"I'm sorry, Sayuri-san. I thought you knew."
"No!" I gasped. "I had no idea that Nobu…is in prison." How could I know? Since the war, Gion was a closed circuit of women. We barely knew when the Americans bombed other cities. If it wasn't for the refugees that limped into the city, we would not know a thing.
Hideo pressed the sake on me again. I took it and for the first time in my life, drank it down willingly. The alcohol burned my empty stomach.
"How…how did it happen? I thought Iwamura was actively manufacturing gun parts for the government, how did it go wrong?" I asked, my words sticking in my throat.
"You know Nobu-san," Hideo chuckled darkly. "He couldn't bow down to the government fast enough." My head began to ache. It was all sounding too bitterly true.
"You mean Iwamura Electric is overtaken by the government?" My heart stood still at the thought of Nobu-san being penniless and powerless in the world. The picture brought the deepest pity to my heart.
"No," Hideo-san paused. "Not quite, his partner, the Chairman is still running the company, under the closest supervision of the government, of course. The Chairman is a different man from Nobu-san. Much more pliable." It was my turn to laugh. Hideo looked at me with concern again.
"You are taking this hard, Sayuri-san." I supposed that Hideo, like so many others, found it hard that I could genuinely care for my danna. Although Hideo was too polite to say so in the past, I knew he agreed with the crowd that referred to Nobu-san as "the beast that had captured the beauty." No doubt Hideo-san thought I was worried about losing a potential source of income.
"Nobu-san is my danna. I owe him so much, and now he is probably rotting in prison for treason!"
"Still," Hideo began calmly, "I would not overly worry. Nobu-san is a strong man, despite his missing an arm."
"Even a prison could break the strongest of men!" I retorted. Hideo-san recoiled. He probably was not used to seeing this side of geisha. We always took care to be pleasant and amicable.
"Forgive me, Hideo-san" I made a quick bow, and the sake suddenly turned my stomach sour. "This has come as quite a surprise."
"I apologize for breaking it to you so crassly" Hideo said. I waived away his apology.
"Is there anything that could be done? Anything at all?" I asked helplessly. Hideo frowned and shook his head.
With a practiced eye, he looked over my ensemble and took in my gaunt cheeks. He saw my okiya's poverty.
"No, I'm afraid not. Unless you have a stored cache of cash to bribe the proper officials, I'm afraid Nobu-san will stay in prison."
"Mother has kimono in the countryside, but I don't think she will part with them for Nobu-san's sake, even if he is my danna." Hideo shook his head.
"It's just the way of the world, Sayuri-san" he said sadly. I looked at him with distaste. The sake had made me bold. I felt my fine manners slipping from me. I suddenly understood why Nobu-san had called Hideo and antique. Antiques did nothing but sit and gather dust. They were immobile in a volatile world.
"Nobu-san is the most honorable man that I know of" I told him. "Why isn't the Chairman helping him? How could he let him go to prison?" It was bad manners to bring up the Chairman and then blame him for Nobu's predicament, but I could not help myself.
"I don't know those things, Sayuri-san" Hideo said. He took another swallow of sake. "I was never that close to Nobu-san, even in the best of times." He chuckled darkly. "This is certainly not the best of times."
"Isn't there anything to be done?" I asked impatiently.
"Unless you possess a fortune to bribe the officials, I think not."
I thought of my hair pin. It was the one thing that I owned that was within my grasp. I could sell it and use the funds to free Nobu. I wasn't sure how much it would bring, but it was the only thing I had to sell.
"I have an antique hair comb" I told Hideo. "My danna had gifted it to me some time ago. He told me it was old. Perhaps you know someone who could appraise it for me?" Hideo laughed.
"Sayuri-san, you and your innocence! I must say, it is certainly refreshing." I frowned. The alcohol had clouded my head and my better judgment. Of course the comb would not bring enough. I took a deep breath and plunged onward.
"Well, then Hideo-san, can we work out an arrangement?" I tried to say this in my most tactful voice, while still implying the deeper meaning. Mameha had taught me well.
Hideo looked at me with some interest. "Sayuri-san, you are full of surprises tonight." I said nothing and gave him a level stare.
"I wish I had known you before the war," Hideo said, rubbing his arms ruefully. "Even if I had the money for such an arrangement, my better senses won't let me take advantage of you in this state. Even with your beautiful grey eyes staring at me like that."
My palms began to sweat, and I hurriedly said, "I admit that I am thinner than I was before, and perhaps my hands are not so fine but…"
"It is not that I don't find you attractive anymore, Sayuri-san, but we both know the reason why you are coming to me. I don't think my pride could allow it." I threw all caution and pride to the wind and knelt before Hideo-san.
"Hideo-san, please, I must help Nobu-san!" I bowed low.
Hideo sighed and looked at the near empty sake bottle. "The world has turned itself upside down. Pretty woman are throwing themselves at me, but not for the reasons I want."
"Please, Hideo-san. Help me in this regard and I will be grateful for the rest of my life!"
Hideo shook his head. "I don't think you will be grateful" Hideo said slowly. "In fact, I think you will hate yourself for this."
"All I have, I owe to Nobu. If I have to hate myself to help him, so be it."
"You must have a great deal of water in you, Sayuri-san," his eyes looking into mine. "There is something about your eyes and the way you rush headlong into things. You are so reckless."
"I will meet my destiny," I told him slowly, "No matter where it lies."
"The only man that I know in Gion who has enough money and influence to help you is Tanaka."
My eyes widened. "Yoshio Tanaka?" I breathed. Hideo nodded.
"Tanaka is the only man of any repute that could help you now." Hideo-san looked at his hands. "My wealth is gone, and I am next to useless. But if you are so determined to save Nobu-san, then he is the man you must go to."
"I understand" I told him.
"Tanaka has been staying in Gion these past few weeks" Hideo said. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. A dull red flush occupied his cheeks. "If I were you, I would not mention this to anyone. If Nobu-san knew that you were doing this, he would do everything in his power to stay in prison."
"You know and understand, Nobu-san" I said in surprise.
"I do not claim to know or understand Nobu-san. I probably will never understand that man." Hideo rubbed his cheeks again and sighed. "But I understand what it is to be a man."
"And?"
"I could never be with a woman that did that. Even if it meant saving myself."
"Nobu-san will never forgive me" I said, guessing Hideo's true meaning. Hideo sighed.
"Yes, he will never forgive you. Or forget that it was Yoshio Tanaka." My eyes flew open. How could Hideo know about Tanaka and myself?
"You know…that…" I fumbled for the right words to say.
"Yes," Hideo said, saving me from myself. "I know of Tanaka's… regard for you."
"How?" I was aghast, thinking that now the whole world knew of Tanaka's actions towards me that night at Nobu's party.
"It was the talk of Gion when Nobu-san broke off negotiations with Tanaka's company. Everyone was taken by surprise. They never thought that Nobu-san could lose his head over a woman, even one as beautiful as you."
"How long is Tanaka staying in Gion?" I asked, ignoring the compliment to my beauty.
"From what he told me, you have two weeks."
"I see." I mentally calculated my time in my head and how I was going to arrange to see Tanaka. I began running through a list in my mind who I could borrow a kimono from. After all, Mameha's had not impressed Hideo.
"Sayuri-san, if you will permit me. Please do not do this" Hideo said. I stopped planning and prepared myself.
"I told you how much I owe Nobu-san" I told Hideo. "I cannot fathom leaving him there to rot!"
"Even so," Hideo said, trying to calm me down with a low tone, "This war is not going to last forever. Sooner or later, I guarantee they will let him out. What then?"
"What of it?"
"Do you think he is not going to know?"
"When the time comes, I will explain it to him." Hideo shook his head and gave me a sad smile.
"You probably know Nobu-san best in the world, Sayuri-san. But still you delude yourself where his honor is concerned. I know how men like him think. It is not my way. But I know I would feel the same way. He is going to hate you. Be prepared for that."
"Everyone here is starving, Hideo-san." I paused and brought Nobu-san's face to mind. His face had looked familiar when I last saw him on the street the day of the bombing. He looked familiar, like his old self, but haggard. I wondered how he was eating now.
"I can't imagine the Japanese Army is kind to people being tried for treason against the government. I cannot bear the thought of Nobu starving."
"Then do what you will, Sayuri-san. I will tell no one." Hideo tried to give me a kind smile but it faltered. "Remember, Tanaka will not stoop to be so circumspect. I don't know what he will require of you." He reached for the empty bottle of sake. Shaking the last few drops into his mouth, he used his sleeve and wiped his face. "I don't want to know."
