I do not own Naruto.


Chapter 7


It was snowing. Ayame snuggled within her quilts and blankets. Her mesh curtains revealed a falling world of white just outside the window. Every snowflake mattered coming down into a great, big world. Every intricate pattern was beautiful against the canvas of a dark, gray sky.

And Ayame wondered her pretty little head if everything would be okay.

Naruto and Hinata shuffled about outside her bedroom door. With permission, they were making dinner. They were so sweet and Ayame was glad she had friends like this. Never in all her days would she think Uzumaki Naruto (with his wife) would be making her dinner. When she had stumbled off the rickshaw in sorrow and tears, Naruto and Hinata had been standing outside the apartment building. The Uzumaki couple came up, paid the puller in her stead, and helped her inside.

It had also been a cold night the last time she felt this sad. Kakashi's warmth mollified her then but it had been a temporary thing. A man could not fix loneliness. A man was not God. What an utter fool she had been.

She sat up on the bed and let her socked toes touch the fluffy carpet. She stood and slowly made her way to the window, leaning her forehead on the glass. It was freezing but it helped relax her. All the crying had warmed her face too much. The cold was welcoming.

What kind of mother will I be? she wondered. What kind of leader? She had jumped the gun too quickly, too thoughtlessly, thinking everything would work itself out if there was a man by her side. Kakashi was no ordinary man. He was the Hokage. Being with him held too many implications. She wondered again if she should simply leave the village. But how? There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to run.

When had she started to think a man could make everything better—first take her loneliness away—then take charge of the chaos motherhood would surely bring if she were single? She wasn't like this. How had she got here? She wasn't like this.

Ayame leaned away from the window when she heard another voice among Naruto and Hinata's. It was Kakashi. They had let him in. Her heart raced. She imagined Naruto had something to do with it. Feeling as she did, it was not good that Kakashi had come.

She could hear Naruto trying to keep his voice at a murmur. It was hurried and became louder with each second. Hinata's whispery voice mediated when he became too loud. He lowered his tone but the cycle started again. Ayame imagined Hinata resting a calming hand on Naruto's arm each time he spoke loud enough for Ayame to hear. When Kakashi spoke, he did not try to speak in whispers and Ayame could hear him clearly.

"Naruto, despite your noble intentions you don't have the authority to dictate Anbu away from their duties. There are other ways—"

"Next time I'll come get you myself then."

"Naruto-kun," Hinata started and it was hard to understand all the words she was saying. Something about remembering this was "the Hokage."

There was a sudden shuffling of fabric and a loud THUNK resonated across the apartment. Ayame's eyes watered once again as she jumped, alarmed. It was a small apartment so a strong knock on one wall shook the entire unit. She intertwined her hands and held them to her stomach. The bedroom door held her complete attention.

"Hokage or not, this is the second time I've seen Ayame cry all by herself. You understand, right?"

Ayame heard Kakashi's familiar, deep sigh. "I do."

There was some more talking and rummaging and then there was a light tap at her door.

"Ayame-san, dinner is ready." It was Hinata.

"Okay, I'll be right out," Ayame said with the clearest voice she could muster.


Kakashi watched as Ayame followed Hinata into the kitchen. She did not look at him. She wore what she had earlier, eyes as red and lips as decolored as they were when she'd fumbled into his office, struggling to bring up the pregnancy.

Naruto and he sat at the chabudai in the living space beside the couch. The low table was white washed, accompanied with a flowery mantel and pastel seat cushions. His fingers grazed over the pattern of the mantel—eyes not missing the intricate edges of the cushion he sat on. Had she done this? In the corner double point needles were stabbed into a ball of yarn in a basket. A wooden hoop and unfinished embroidery stitches leaned against one of the sofa's pillow. The patterns were incredible. It seemed Ayame's talents did not end in the kitchen.

The women walked over with dinner. Kakashi's eyes were only for Ayame as she silently set the table up with Hinata. Naruto dragged him here and expected him to eat. He wanted to strangle the young man for being so rash and dramatic but he admitted there was reason behind the madness. Naruto was assuming there was some sort of romance between him and Ayame that had gone awry. He'd also got it in his head that Kakashi was the cause of the estrangement. In Naruto's mind, Ayame was a blameless light in his life that was now pregnant and apparently jilted. By Kakashi. Little did the Uzumaki know that it was Ayame who was set on ignoring Kakashi. She was the cold one.

It was her who could not look at him.

Had Ayame's sister reacted poorly to the news? Kakashi wondered if Seito Yumi knowing the truth would hinder whatever smooth sailing they managed this week. Regardless of the unfamiliar woman's response, Ayame had become incredibly upset.

When the four of them were all seated, Naruto said a quick prayer and opened his mouth to swallow a mouthful of rice when—

"Ayame-chan and I are getting married."

"GUH!" Naruto nearly swallowed his chopsticks and Kakashi tried not to look too smug.

Hinata lightly tapped her husband's back while she smiled, amazed. "Oh, congratulations! When did this happen?"

"On Monday," he said, smiling. For good measure, he lowered his mask and Naruto gasped very loudly.

"That's wonderful, Hokage-sama!" Hinata sincerely seemed happy as she gave both he and Ayame a bow. She did not bat an eyelash to Kakashi's sudden exposure, detachment accredited to the byakugan.

But Ayame stared wide eyed at him. A habit of hers now, really. Kakashi did not blame her. His idiosyncratic tendency to tease and announce anything usually shocked others. It was a terrible coping mechanism but it got him through the day and usually cheered others up. Sometimes.

Naruto leaned into his wife, eyes glued on Kakashi's face, whispering loudly, "Hinata-chan, you were right! He does have a mole."

Kakashi sipped his tea. "It's a beauty mark."

He noticed Ayame smile a little against her spoon and his chest lightened. They were not very close, so he could not coax her out of her troubles with words laced with comradery and loving touches, but he could do this.

Her eyes slowly brightened and Kakashi watched as her expression transformed into one of delight. "Hinata-san, this curry is amazing. The coconut milk and spice ratio are perfect."

Hinata blushed. "Thank you. I'm sure you're much better at making it."

Ayame carefully dispensed her entire rice scoop into the curry bowl. Her face was still pale and eyes swollen but she wore an easy smile on her lips. "Don't sell yourself short! I think this is way better than any curry dish I've made. Naruto's so lucky!" Then she promptly took a mouthful to show her appreciation. "Hmmm!"

Hinata's blush deepened and she covered her cheeks, completely won over by Ayame's encouragement. Naruto grinned and copied Ayame's way of eating curry, digging in. Kakashi and Hinata exchanged glances and he shrugged, smiling. They were alike, Ayame and Naruto. Kakashi assumed Hinata saw the similarities too.

The awkwardness of the night vanished in favor of Ayame and Naruto's brightening personalities that continued to build off of one another. Every now and then Ayame would bring up the exquisite quality of the food, as if the compliment hadn't been said multiple times already. In agreement but mostly to drive the point home, Kakashi added on to the flattery, making Naruto laugh and Hinata sputter and blush all over again.

When the Uzumaki couple departed, they left a pleasant atmosphere. Even as Kakashi dried dishes and Ayame silently put them away, the air was not strained. Work was piling up at the office, but it could wait. Ayame and he needed this, he supposed. Of course Naruto would be the center of it all. The way the young man loved had a way of changing everything.

"I…I wasn't able to tell Yumi-nechan anything," she volunteered all on her own as he handed her a dried bowl.

"Oh?" he said, not prying. He grabbed another bowl. The design was flowery too.

"I still…want help. But I don't know anyone that could. All my friends are mostly people who've never had babies." He knew it was hard for her to say those things but he respected her willingness to open up. Savored it, even.

"A good friend of mine is a mother," Kakashi supplied lightly. "Sarutobi Kurenai. I've known her since I was very young."

"Sarutobi?" Ayame asked, taken aback by the name.

Kakashi nodded. "Kurenai was married to the Sandaime's son for a short time before he passed. She had the child afterwards. Mirai-chan is quite the character." Asuma would have been besotted.

"Oh wow." Ayame frowned and then appeared to weigh things in her mind. Her top row of teeth slid against her bottom lip, head tilting slightly to the right. She closed a cabinet door. "I think maybe we should ask for your friend's help."

Ayame did not even ask if Kurenai was trustworthy but went along with it, which meant she valued his suggestions. It meant she trusted his decisions. It was not unusual, he supposed. She had been honest with him about the pregnancy. The confession itself must have taken a great deal of faith in his character. He was pleased at the revelation.

"Only if it's what you want."

"It is." She seemed determined. Her easy resignation surprised him again but he did not comment. If it was what she wanted, he would do his best to accommodate her. Mostly her world would be drastically changing. He could do at least this.


That next morning, he sat across Kurenai, sipping tea. They were outside on her balcony, surrounded by various plants and flower pots. Mirai was taking her afternoon nap back in the living room. The little girl had her mother's features, thank God for it too. Rest in peace, Asuma. Kakashi continued to smile at Kurenai. She sat, drinking tea with closed eyes.

"Idiot. Irresponsible. Pervert."

He sunk a little in his chair. "I know."

"You know? A little too late for that."

"I didn't think things would turn out this way."

Kurenai rolled her eyes. "Kakashi, what did you expect? After following her home, you had unprotected sex with a girl ten years younger than you. She's closer to our students' age than she is to ours. Oh. And you were drunk."

"Just a little."

"What?"

"I had only drunk very little that night."

"You mean to tell me you were sober enough to make rational decisions when you followed her home?"

"..."

"Pervert."

Kakashi deflated. "You said that one already."

"Fiend."

"Okay. Go back to the other names."

Kurenai rubbed at her forehead and leaned back in her seat. Her red eyes considered the ceiling above intently. "Well," she shrugged, "what's done is done." Kakashi nodded, downcast. He looked up when his old friend grabbed his fingers resting on the small table between them. "Don't look so guilty. This is a good thing too."

"I've ruined her life, Kurenai."

"Mirai certainly didn't ruin mine."

He shook his head. "You and Asuma were happily married. The two of you had been in love for a very long time before you got to making Mirai-chan."

"Yes, I got pregnant after I was married and by the man of my dreams. And I love her with everything I have. But Kakashi, maybe this is what it was supposed to take. Honestly, were you planning to get trapped into that ridiculous single lifestyle that more than half of shinobi fall into? Before everyone knows it, they've aged and the only thing they've left behind is a track record of completed missions and old battle scars."

"But I'm the Hokage," he said lamely and she laughed.

"Well, Hokage-sama, is a neatly running village all you've ever wanted?" His silence answered her question. "I didn't think so."

His face dropped into his hands, put out. How could Ayame be content forced into a marriage? If he had done things correctly from the beginning, then this backwards way of establishing a family would have never happened. She wouldn't be trapped in secret as she was in her condition. She wouldn't avoid looking at him. She wouldn't be so cold.

But the truth was he would have never pursued a relationship with Ayame if things had not turned out the way they had. If there ever existed an opportunity in the past, he had let it slip. He had denied himself the pleasure of pursuing Ayame, or anyone else for that matter. After Pein had left him for dead, she was there, desperately trying to dig him out of rubble. When he resurrected she had been there too, as surprised as he to be alive. She had gotten his attention at that time, but he ignored the stirs in his belly from then on when he saw her. He had contented himself with just seeing her face sometimes. She was better without him, he had told himself. That thought did not change even now as he forced her into marriage.

"Kakashi, take this as a blessing in disguise."

"She will not think the same."

Kurenai smiled. "Somehow I disagree. You can be very charming."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to sound so sarcastic."

"I'm sorry."

Kurenai laughed at his unapologetic tone. She stood. He mirrored her action. "Well, let's go meet your fiancé. Where is she now?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to meet her yourself. I have to get back to the Tower." Yesterday's unforeseen dinner put him behind.

"That's not awkward at all."

"She's very hospitable. It will go well. And Kurenai?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for doing this." He was eternally grateful.

"Of course. I'm glad you came. It used to never happen before."

She was right. For a couple of decades Kakashi had managed to isolate himself from everyone that cared about him. He had been a fierce advocate for teamwork after the Third War, but when it came to private matters, it was beyond anyone's guess what Kakashi had gone through, only that Rin and Obito had died. Along with Gai, Asuma and Kurenai had been some of the most relentless pursuers of friendship that Kakashi remembered. They had never given up on him and Kurenai still had not.


Amused, Kurenai watched as Ichiraku Ayame held a manila folder close to her chest. A genjutsu was cast over her to look like someone other than herself, and although the younger woman was aware of it, she still looked incredibly paranoid walking down the hospital hall.

Mirai skipped alongside them. "Mama, mama!"

"Yes, darling?"

"I am so hunguee, mama!"

"We're done now, sweetie. We just have to check out and then we can get some lunch with Ayame-sama." Kurenai winked.

Mirai managed squinting one eye in exaggeration, trying to wink. "Okie dokie, mama!"

Momentarily distracted by Mirai's cuteness, Ayame giggled at the girl's antics. Kakashi had been right. The younger woman was very hospitable and welcomed Kurenai and Mirai happily into her home. She opened up and had been honest with Kurenai, about everything, probably relieved she could finally share the truth with a woman.

"O-NI-GI-RI! O-NI-GI-RI! YUM-YUM-YUMMY!" Mirai pumped her tiny fists into the air, singing her customary "I am about to eat" song. She even shook her butt. Little did she know that they were definitely not having rice again. Kurenai could do two or three nights of onigiri, but any more than that was too much. Her daughter was obsessed.

Ayame laughed again, this time from her belly as Mirai continued to fantasize about rice balls. The girl was a mess.

"Her vocabulary is amazing!"

Kurenai nodded. "Most children with future prospects as shinobi are advanced in that area."

"I know! It's incredible. Shinobi kids are so strong too." Ayame's expression suddenly became thoughtful. Her fingers stroked the edges of the folder she carried.

"He or she might be the same," Kurenai provided. "Your baby."

Ayame blushed, holding the unopened folder closer. "You think so?"

"Although not known for large amounts of chakra, Hatake intelligence quotient is up to par with Konoha's Nara clan. Kakashi became a chuunin at six." Kurenai wondered if what she was saying sounded like gibberish to Ayame.

"I think I've heard that somewhere," Ayame said. "But...that's…so young." Too young. But they had been at war.

The two women exchanged dismal expressions. Back then there had been many child-soldiers. With war always at their heels, Konoha had no choice. Kakashi was a byproduct of political desperateness. Seeing his incredible talents, they made him into a weapon. Kurenai distinctly remembered the day the Sandaime had pulled a five year old Kakashi out of the Academy, saying his skills surpassed that of an academy student. They gave him to Namikaze Minato, who trained and honed a young Kakashi's abilities. This was years before Obito and Rin joined them as a team.

"So how far along are you?"

Ayame blinked at her as they entered the hospital lobby. She had been in deep thought. "Oh—pardon?"

My—she was perfect for Kakashi. She was the kind of difference in personality that he needed. He was one of the best men Kurenai knew and she was glad to see this young woman was now tethered to him. She laughed easily enough despite her strained relation with the Hokage and was for all intents and purposes—well—she was adorable and spacey.

"How far along are you? What did the medic say?" Kurenai repeated with a kind smile.

The younger woman blushed and looked away. "Three weeks."

They got in line to sign out at the front desk. Three weeks exactly? Her body had certainly wasted no time in conceiving. It had only been three weeks since the wedding. It usually took a few days for an ovum to get fertilized but quick conception was not unheard of.

"How do you feel?"

"…Like it's not real."

"Yeah. I felt that way too."

Kurenai was not sure if Ayame knew she was doing it, but she kept looking at Mirai. Granted, her daughter was the cutest two year old in the world, but there was more to Ayame's gaze than admiration. She was frightened and unsure and Kakashi's words resounded in Kurenai's mind.

"I've ruined her life."

She wanted to ask Ayame what her feelings were towards Kakashi but it was not her place. The two would marry. Kurenai was sure they could figure it out. They were not the kind of people who were unable to find it within themselves to love others. Kakashi was a caring man, and from what she was able to gather so far, Ayame was similar.

Kurenai hoped it was what had attracted them to one another in the first place.


Sasuke observed as Kakashi scanned a scroll.

"Hmm, this is worrisome."

"Ame doesn't want to move forward."

"I see that."

Sasuke clenched his jaw. "We can help."

Kakashi sighed. "We can but if we encroach our will there's no telling what could happen. Ame seems to be under the impression they can get rid of the trafficking themselves."

"That's ridiculous. They're barely a village."

"I agree, Sasuke. But what would you have me do?"

"Something."

"I've got my hands full." The man was busily scanning through multiple scrolls and had not once looked up since Sasuke arrived at the office.

He frowned. "Because you're getting married?"

Kakashi's attention finally rose to his student. "You know."

"I overheard." The popular news had surprised Sasuke. It was not a bad thing, he supposed. But he could not appreciate it when his heart was a thousand miles away in Ame. Even Sakura, with all the pretty smiles, could not deviate his thoughts from those enslaved people. A time or two, she had succeeded. A time or two, he thought home sweet home. But there were more important things in life than romance.

His sensei sighed and leaned back in his seat. "Sasuke, yes. I am getting married. But that's not why I have my hands full. I am working on this. I won't let those people down."

"…"

"Do you trust me?"

Did he trust Kakashi? Why did the question make his chest ache and his memories swell with humiliation? Sasuke lowered his gaze. Why was shame the first thing he felt anytime he was asked such personal things? It was the same with Naruto and Sakura. Could Sasuke not answer the Hokage even this? Kakashi was the closest thing he had to a father figure now. Whatever memories of fatherly behavior Fugaku had shown were overshadowed by war-mongering truths.

Until this day, Sasuke questioned his biological father's love and loyalty to the village. He did not accept that Uchiha Fugaku was willing to sacrifice the lives of so many people, sons included, for the sake of a clan's pride. Sasuke had nearly followed in the same footsteps. A curse, indeed. In comparison to Fugaku, not once had Sasuke ever questioned those things from Kakashi—love nor loyalty nor selflessness. Kakashi had loved team seven from the moment he walked into that classroom and an eraser fell on his head.

Sasuke heard rather then saw Kakashi roll his ridiculous-colored chair back and stand before him. He closed his eyes when the older man collapsed both of his shoulders.

"I trust you, Sasuke. I believe in you." I love you.

"I don't deserve that." He could not look at his sensei. "From anybody."

"Maybe none of us deserve those things. But that's how I feel and I can't change it."

"Sensei…" He was supposed to call him the Hokage. "I want to help those people."

"Me too, Sasuke. We will help them." Then Kakashi ruffled his hair as if he were twelve again.

And Sasuke could not help himself, eyes watering. "I trust you."


Kakashi stood outside Ayame's door, wanting to ask how it went with Kurenai. He had gone home after the sun set and changed into colorless civilian clothes. He was easily overlooked by his peers and the villagers like this, without a mask or any kind of shinobi paraphernalia—no kage insignias, no overflow of greetings.

He and his father had come up with the idea when he was a child in the academy. Sakumo had known Kakashi would be legendary and didn't want his child to have constant attention. For while endless admiration was not a bad thing, if that same admiration ever met severe disappointment, the existing attention could easily turn into something terrible and unforgiving. And, his father had assured, being anonymous made quick getaways from weird friends that much easier. Thinking of Gai and Obito, little Kakashi agreed. Now the mask was mostly a habit and he quite liked it.

Kakashi thought he should knock—but he could always ask Kurenai herself for today's details. Yet it would be the right thing to stay and ask Ayame. If he did not start to become intentional it would be counterproductive to establishing an amistad with her. She would be his wife. He wanted her to think well of him. He needed her to think well of him.

He made up his mind to knock, but the door unlocked and a tall man stepped out. Ayame held it open as the two laughed loudly at one another. Kakashi recognized the man from the festival, when Ayame had been trying and failing to scoop goldfish. The two immediately took notice of him there in the hall.

"Hey!" the man greeted amiably. Ayame looked Kakashi up and down. She had never seen him dressed like this. Undressed, sure, but that was neither here nor there.

Kakashi smiled. "Hello."

"Hi," she said, shy.

Her visitor looked between them. "Here to see Aya-chan?"

Kakashi considered the man. 'Aya-chan' seemed to be a common nickname for her. Kakashi decided then and there he did not care for it.

"He's a friend!" Ayame quickly supplied before Kakashi could respond. "He came to get something."

"Yeah? I'm outta here then. Thanks for dinner!"

"Bye, bye Raiden-kun. See ya!"

"See ya, kiddo." The man walked off. Kakashi noted his build and superficial scarring about his face and hands. Shinobi.

"How are you?" he heard Ayame ask.

"I'm good thank you. What about you? How're you feeling?" Kakashi dragged his eyes from the end of the hall to Ayame. She seemed well. Her cheeks had color and her smile was present.

"You know, I'm actually feeling good today. I told Otousan I can go in tomorrow."

"That's...good." Who had that man been? He was shinobi but not one of his. Yugao had mentioned Ayame's frequent male visitors, most notably a certain one that was not Naruto. He remained nameless since Kakashi did not think it right to keep strict tabs on Ayame or interrogate any and all people she interacted with. She would become his wife not his prisoner.

Was this the man that came often?

Ayame waved Kakashi inside and pressed herself against the doorframe, making room for him. She was casual about it, unlike the times before. She must have been getting used to it—him stopping by. He had not lied to Kurenai. Ayame was hospitable and accommodated others despite herself. Perhaps she was even a little naïve. She did not even think it strange that a full-grown man had left her home so late in the evening only for another to come quickly after.

"Raiden-kun is an old friend who comes by a lot and eats all my food," she obliviously informed him, thoughts still occupied with whatever dinner the two had before Kakashi arrived. Comes by a lot, she said. "Oh! Maybe I can make something for you. I may have—"

"No, thank you. I ate." Did he?

"Oh...okay."

She closed the door and they stood together in the four-by-four hall that opened up to the small apartment. Already an awkward atmosphere began to form. Whatever Naruto had supplied yesterday was gone. Whatever this 'Raiden-kun' supplied at dinner also left. Ayame's smile lessened.

Kakashi was not a fool. He knew what he was feeling at that moment was jelaousy. He had intended to ask how it went with Kurenai. But—

"Why did you not send for me yesterday?"

That obviously had nothing to do with Kurenai. Ayame pressed her lips together, not following. Control yourself, Kakashi thought. He was not a child. Why was he trying to pick a fight?

"Hokage-sama?" she said. An eerie pause surrounded them.

"Last night. I know it was Naruto's idea and not yours."

Recognition filled her expression and she frowned. "Kakashi-sensei—sorry—Hokage-sama, it doesn't change—" She stopped herself. She was so careful around him, reserved, proper.

It was maddening. She was not this. She was not a person to hold back. Not too long ago, she would blatantly flirt with a kage but now she could not even look him in the eye. She could be herself with others but not with Kakashi. She could be herself with the man that had just left her apartment but not with Kakashi.

"What doesn't it change?" he pushed her with his words.

Ayame glanced around them—perhaps for an escape from the small hallway, perhaps for an escape from him. "Maybe we should—"

"What doesn't it change?"

Ayame held her breath. There was a pause—she raised a hand and then slowly, slowly, she gestured to both of them. "It does not change this."

"I know," he acknowledged. "But I can be useful."

"Because you feel guilty."

"Yes, because I feel guilty." He would not lie, not to her.

"And you think it's your fault."

"Yes."

She was offended but she was looking at him finally—finally. "You're too direct."

"Those are some of my reasons but not all. Please don't limit me."

"I don't want to but you're difficult to understand."

"If you ask me something, I will answer you."

She seemed surprised by his words and he was too. But it was true. He could not deny her anything. In the past, he knew she had been curious of him. Brazen flirtation had been the number one clue. He denied her his attentions then but it was impossible at present. He would take responsibility. She had his attention now.

"Ayame-chan, I wish you would be honest with me."

"You're not always honest with me."

He stood a little straighter. "I haven't lied to you."

"But you don't show how you feel and I get confused when you do stuff like this—showing up—" She choked up and had to restart. "Why did you come? And dressed like that—what am I supposed to think when you pretend to be so nice to me? You came to ask how it went with Kurenai-san, right?"

He tried not to let what she said trouble him. Usually insults slid right off of him but her words made his brows furrow in offense. "I am not pretending to be nice."

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"There's nothing to be mad about."

She gave him a look. "You're not mad at all?"

"Are you mad?" Because it sure seemed that way.

"Don't make this about me!"

"It's about the child."

She burst into tears. He moved closer to her but did not touch her. She was in a vulnerable state and he should not have said that. They hadn't spoken for a long period of time since the wedding, nor had they ever let previous superficial conversations elevate to arguing. They were both too nice for that kind of behavior but he supposed even nice people reacted poorly within high tensions and small spaces.

"Ayame-chan, please forgive me. I didn't mean it that way."

She nodded, hands covering her face. She did not like to cry in front of him—noted. And she was forgiving. His chest tightened. He wanted to touch her in comfort but he would not lest she push him away.

"If I am mad," he started gently, "it's at myself."

She rubbed at her eyes, sniffling. "Because you think it's your fault." Again with that.

"Yes."

"But you were drunk."

"And you are not the Hokage of Konohagakure. I know you may not understand my logic, but I do not blame you for anything that happened that night."

She frowned and looked away, begrudgingly crossing her arms. "You're not listening to me."

He could not help but smile. "I am. I don't think you're listening to me."

"I am." She angrily wiped at a stray tear.

They were both hopeless. He knew she did not exactly hate him and perhaps even held him in high esteem. Despite himself, he wondered what she would do if he hugged her but who knew he could be such a coward?

"Ayame-chan—"

She interrupted him with a hard poke to the chest. "Don't call me that anymore."

He touched the place where she assaulted him, surprised. "I won't."

"Good." She continued to look away from him with arms crossed. She was letting herself be angry at him. He supposed it was a start. She was being honest—though perhaps this was not the best method to arise candidness between them.

"Call me Kakashi."

"No."

His brows furrowed. "Why not?"

"Because."

Oh they were playing that game. He smiled. "Come have lunch with me from now on. It would be good."

She turned her glare on him and he was happy to have it zoned in on him. He kept the joy an internal one. There was no need to further irritate her. A poke would be the least of his worries.

"It would be…good for others to see us?" she asked, seeing underneath the underneath.

"Yes."

"Fine." She really was mad. It should not have been making him as happy as he was.

"…I should go," he said, reading the atmosphere. Without saying anything, she opened the door, showing him she was all too ready for him to leave. They stared each other down a couple more seconds there in her tiny hall until he relented and stepped out.

He raised a hand in farewell. "I guess I'll get—" She slammed the door in his face, cutting him off.


As the lily among thorns,

So is my love among the daughters.

-Songs of Solomon, 2:2