I do not own Naruto.


Chapter 9


Sitting on the cell's cot, Raiden heard the metal door creak open. Steps resounded down the concrete hall and he figured it was not anybody with food since they'd already given him dinner for the night. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the footsteps. There were two sets of steps.

He opened his eyes to see the Hokage of Konohagakure standing outside his holding cell. The second pair of footsteps stayed hidden just outside of Raiden's view.

"Good evening," the kage said but his tone was neutral. He did not sound like the friendly man who gave speeches to the village. Raiden had been privy to a few village events, the Shinobi-Civilian festival being the most recent. The Hokage seemed like an amiable man and the word around town was that he had been Uzumaki Naruto's teacher.

But now there was no trace of kindness in those eyes and Raiden wondered if Aya-chan really knew the man she was marrying. Perhaps Hatake Kakashi's reputation was not as stained as Raiden's in the bingo books thanks to his loyalty to Konoha, but there was a reputation nonetheless. Friend-killer Kakashi, ruthless assassin, kekkei genkai thief...

"Good evening," Raiden replied evenly, matching the older man's voice. He did not want to be disrespectful because this was the kage of the village Raiden wanted to be a part of. But now it would not happen so it did not matter. He did not believe Aya-chan could really convince this man of anything. A kage's first responsibility was the village not a woman. Aya-chan…

"You've been trying to become a citizen."

"Did the old man tell you that too?"

"No. The friend that you snuck into my village did."

Raiden felt a rage swell inside the pit of his stomach. He did not care if Teuchi had once told Konoha about him all those years ago, but he had hoped the old man would never say anything about her. Raiden had been an idiot to tell the old man anything this time around.

He stood very slowly from the cot, hands fisted beside him. Mostly he was afraid but he could not show it to this man. "She has nothing to do with this. Or the kid."

"You brought them here. For weeks you've tried to get them citizenship." The Hokage's expression remained stoic and Raiden's heart raced. This was Aya-chan's guy? Raiden did not want her with a kage. It was dangerous. Yesterday afternoon, the man already tried to use her in favor of getting information out of Raiden. And she was too oblivious to realize it. But it would not work. Raiden would not involve her.

Then there was her and the child. He swallowed whatever remained of his pride and kowtowed once more to the Hokage. "I don't care what you do to me. But please don't punish them for my mistakes. Don't tell Ame about them. Please." He hated that village with every fiber of his being and he did not hate easily.

"Who's the father of that child?"

Raiden's face turned very red and his eyes watered, disgusted at the insinuation. He did not look up when he answered. "Not mine. She's just a kid, man."

"Was she part of Ame's underground trafficking?"

Raiden immediately snapped his attention to the Hokage. "What?"

"Konoha wants to help people like your friends."

Raiden frowned. What did Konoha know about people like Haruhi and Soota-chin?

"I want to bring them here, where they will be safe. Just like your friends. There are programs that can help them return to normal life. That can help them return to society." Hatake Kakashi stepped closer to the bars of the cell. "Konoha is stuck. Ame isn't giving us the leverage we need."

Raiden felt like his heart would leap out of his chest, thoughts racing. "What are you asking?"

"I think you know."

Finally, the second pair of footsteps stepped out to join the Hokage. Whoa, Raiden thought.

Uchiha Sasuke.


Ayame watched as a couple fed each other noodle after noodle from the other side of the ramen bar. They were obviously in love, in the honeymoon phase where feeding each other like babies was totally okay and romantic. She thought it was too and could not help stare at them every now and then as she prepared meals for the customers.

Once they even slurped a single noodle at the same time and pop kissed right there in front of everyone! They giggled like teenagers and continued their little game. Ayame blushed and looked away, but her eyes did not stay away long.

There was an unmistakable longing inside of Ayame.

That would never be her and Kakashi, would it? They had bypassed all sorts of milestones and Ayame would never have a boyfriend or a first date. Maybe if she would have just stopped him that night, she could have convinced him to date her and they could be feeding each other noodles now. But they were always fighting. He made her so angry sometimes.

Then there was that whole thing with Raiden. She tried to see him on a day off but they would not let her in the building without Kakashi.

"Ayame-san—I mean—sama, the tea!"

She startled. She came back down from her pity party to the kettle screeching for undivided attention. It spat water everywhere in a tantrum. Ayame hustled and bustled, turning off the stove and cleaning up the mess.

"Aoi-kun, don't call me –sama!" Ayame said, hanging a damp towel on its designated hook on the wall.

"Don't reprimand the boy, Aya-chan," Otori walked in from the kitchen with two orders. "He's only showing respect for our new Daishukujo."

Aoi guffawed as he made his way towards the back, doorframe beads clanking in his wake. Ayame groaned. She could just strangle Kakashi if she knew it wouldn't sentence her to a life in prison.

"I'm not the Daishukujo yet."

"Soon though!" Aoi called from the back and the other chefs laughed too. They all wouldn't stop teasing her about it all day. Yesterday she had been spared their reaction because she had off, but today they let her have it. Most of them still thought it was a joke. Having all male coworkers definitely had a downside.

Otori shook his head at their behavior. The frontline customers and those waiting for their takeout looked over in curiosity. "She's the new Daishukujo?" the woman in the honeymoon phase repeated, finger wrapped in a noodle, ready to feed it to her just as curious boyfriend. Ayame smiled modestly and gave a friendly wave. Kakashi would be proud.

"Seriously? No way!" someone said from outside the stool area. Ayame could not see their face thanks to the hanging lanterns. "Hey! Check out the new Daishukujo! Apparently, she works here!"

Suddenly, faces began to poke through the bamboo flaps hanging from the sides of the bar.

"The Ramen Girl?"

"She's pretty, mama!"

"I can hardly believe it. A cook?"

"I knew it!"

"I'm totally eating here!"

"How old are you?!"

"She must barely be 20!"

"Age wouldn't matter if she was a shinobi."

"When did you meet our Hokage?!"

"I'll get Monday's special!"

Ayame stood there frozen as a crowd began to form in front of Ichiraku's and some of her coworkers came to see what the hullabaloo was about.

"What's happening out here?" Aoi said, fixing his glasses and hat, brows furrowed.

"It seems our customer intake has just increased, thanks to our Aya-chan," Otori laughed it off but then he noticed Ayame's overwhelmed expression and how she was trying to smile through it all.

She could not do this. She was not like Kakashi. Why did it feel different having all this attention when he was not around? She could do it if he were there—if he were holding her hand. But he was not—she was ignoring him again. He had made her so angry forcing Raiden inside that terrible place and then her father had known about it all along. And she was stopped from visiting yesterday.

She did not know she was backing up until the small of her back hit the kettle stove. Otori walked over to her and leaned in. "Maybe you should go home early, Aya-chan. The boys and I can handle this."


From a nearby roof, a crowd formed outside of Ichiraku's.

Ayame had not met Kakashi for lunch yesterday or today. She may have still been upset but at this point he did not know which reason it could be. He imprisoned her friend and had also announced their engagement to her coworkers against her wishes.

His eyes easily caught movement from the side of Ichiraku's small building. It was Ayame. She wore a zipped up, pink hoodie all the way up, covering half her face. She kept her head down as she hurried around the crowd in front of her father's business, making sure to keep a great distance from them.

Her attempt at stealth mode worked, though it was beyond him how. The pink hoodie was as blinding at his office chair.

"I liked you for a reason. I'm sure I still do…"

Kakashi jumped to the next roof and then the next, knowing where she would turn. He smiled at the memory of her words. She had said those words before Raiden interrupted them. Kakashi had been surprised at the confession. But it had been pleasant. It was never terrible to hear someone speak of their fondness for you.

Ayame turned a corner. She was going home. But it was early. Maybe she was feeling ill.

The thought troubled him and he decided he'd visit her after all. Administration continued to ask of her the past two days and he could not tell them they were fighting. It would not be normal so close to their wedding day. Taking the lead, he got to the apartment first. He waited outside the door thirteen minutes before she arrived. Her large eyes widened, spotting him.

He was about to greet her with the standard wave until he noticed her splotchy face. She's been crying. Kakashi frowned and stepped forward, concerned.

"Are you nauseous?" He thought she was getting better.

She opened her mouth to speak, and he was ready to listen, but she spun around and darted away. Kakashi stood there for a second, bemused. And then he went after her. Before she reached the stairs he blocked her path, appearing in a flicker. He grabbed her shoulders before she could collide with him.

"Hey," he spoke softly. "What's wrong?"

And then she hugged him.


It was as if no one had ever hugged the man. Inside her arms he felt completely rigid.

Ayame saw the similarities between Raiden and Kakashi. They were both good men but did not think it. She did not really know either of their pasts and had only heard snippets of Kakashi's because Konoha's tendency to gossip exposed things it should not. But at least Raiden knew how to hug her.

If they ever got pass all their insecurities with one another, she wondered if Kakashi would open up. She hugged him tighter. "I'm mad at you and Otousan."

"You are?" And he legitimately sounded confused. She supposed it was strange being embraced by the person who claimed to be angry at you. Oh but she did not care for his confusion. She needed this.

Ayame nodded in response to his question, nose rubbing into his chest. He smelled so good—like papers and the earth. She could have laughed. She was pregnant with his child and they were both on their way to spending the rest of their lives together and yet. This was their first hug.

When he began to pull her away without returning the embrace, Ayame wanted to scream and beg him to at least try to be a normal couple—but she let him end their contact. Because they were not a normal couple. Because no matter how much she pretended he loved her it was not the truth.

He held her at arm's length—he was always keeping her at arm's length. He had done so for the entire year she crushed on him. He was doing it now. How could he just show up at her home one night and do those things to her?

Suddenly, more frustrated than she had already been all day, Ayame shoved him. Of course he did not bulge—stupid shinobi superpowers—and then she spun around again, hurrying to her apartment door.

"Ayame—"

"I'm mad at you!" she yelled, not looking back at him as she shuffled with her keys, trying to unlock her door hoping he would just go away.

Why had he come over to her house that night, plastered? He asked to kiss her and then he took off her robe, touching her in a way she had never even touched herself—and then made gentle love to her as if she was the only one in the world. But now he could not even hug her.

This time around he did not try to talk when she closed the door on him.


"I don't know what to do."

Kurenai watched as Kakashi had a pity party, and apparently, she had been the only one invited. Mirai had lucked out and was sleeping over Hinata's.

He was sitting on her sofa and bent at the waist, hands covering his face. For goodness sake—the girl had hugged him and the man had all but pushed her off. He really shouldn't have been surprised she ran him off. Seriously.

Kurenai tried not to roll her eyes but failed. "Do you even do stuff for her?"

Kakashi straightened. "I give her what I can, what I should."

"What you can or should is not what I'm talking about."

"What..." He was confused and when he got like this Kurenai could not help but remember the boy from decades ago. The one who lost everything and everyone that mattered and did not know how to accept love. Eventually, he relearned with team seven but romantic love was different. And now he would be a father—

She threw her hands up, exasperated. "Woo her! Kakashi, give her gifts, buy her things, whisper sweet nothings into her ear!"

He got a little defensive. "I've done those things."

"When?" She demanded.

"...I bought her ginger tea once. And a house."

"Okay. And?"

Kakashi opted for a shrug and Kurenai shook her head. Honestly. He was acting like a pre-teen Kiba right now. She said, "Even though this is arranged, that doesn't mean you can't find joy. Isn't that what Ayame was looking for today?"

He then bore a downcast expression until Kurenai's voice called out to him, gentle. "Hey, Kakashi. Don't you care for her already? That's why you got close to her in the first place, wasn't it?"

"That's a big question."

"Kakashi?"

"I should go."

Kurenai frowned but nodded. "Alright."


Raiden showed up at Ayame's that same night. She thought and maybe even hoped it would be Kakashi. She ran to the door and found that it wasn't.

"Raiden-kun!" Ayame breathed. Without hesitating, she enveloped him in a tight hug. And he returned it. He always returned her hugs. Everyone she ever hugged always did. Even Yumi. Even Yuu.

"Aya-chan, hey!"

"They let you out?" Ayame was so surprised to see him. So happy! She looked up at him, mid-embrace, toothy grin in place. He could always brighten her day up. When she was younger she used to pray that he would switch places with Yumi. That he would be her sibling and Yumi would be some random shinobi kid that visited less.

Raiden returned her grin. "Something like that, kiddo."

"That's great!" She hadn't even gotten around to pestering Kakashi about it yet, but she supposed it was one less thing they could argue about.

"Have you been crying?" Raiden asked as they released one another. "Is it because of him again?"

She only looked down, because yes, it was because of Kakashi. Again.

"Why are you marrying that guy, Aya-chan? The last time I saw you crying was when Yumi used to bully you."

"Oh Raiden-kun. It's a long story." More than ever she wanted to tell one of her loved ones the truth but did not know how to. It was the same with Naruto and especially with her father.

When Raiden touched her shoulders, she looked up. He seemed hesitant—really troubled, she could say. Just as he had acted when she tried to get answers out of him back in that holding cell.

"Hey, kiddo. I have to go away now—don't give me that look—and I need you to do something for me."

"You're leaving again? But I thought you were going to live here!" she cried. Not this now too!

"I know, I know. The Hokage—"

"—I'll talk to him!"

"Trust me. It won't work."

She threw herself at him again, hugging him. "Don't go!" She just got him back.

"I don't know when I'll be back—so here." He did not separate himself from her but simply dug in his pocket and gave her a piece of paper mid-hug. "It's the address of where I'm—was—staying at. I had a roommate—she's new to the village too. Maybe you can keep her company. You know, hang out like we usually do. She's a little antisocial but I know she'll like you. Films are the way to go. There's a kid too. I know you'll like him."

Ayame blinked, surprised at the load of information. A roommate? Since when? Was that why he never invited her over and insisted they always hang out at her place?

He pulled her into another hug. "I wish I could stay longer but I gotta go."

"Raiden-kun—"

"—Sorry. I'll miss ya, kiddo. Always do." He released her and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead which thoroughly surprised her. "Take care of your old man. Take care of Haruhi and Soota-chin. And don't let that prick make you cry again."

And then he was gone and Ayame stood on the threshold of her apartment door, wondering why Raiden's goodbye felt so permanent and who Haruhi and Soota-chin were.


Ayame was a woman on a mission. On her lunch break, she went to the address written on the slip of paper Raiden gave her. It was an apartment complex like hers and not too far. No one answered when she knocked so she went back to work. She tried to get answers from her father but he would not talk. Four o'clock came around and her shift ended. She visited the address again.

No answer.

Having failed her mission, Ayame slumped down against Raiden's supposed apartment door. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn't really get answers if the ones with answers weren't home.

There was Kakashi.

It was a little insane, and she was feeling a little crazier than usual, but she decided to head up to the Tower. Kaede greeted her nicely for a change. The older lady hadn't seen her in a while and told her to go ahead—that the Hokage was probably alone in his office right now. Perfect, Ayame thought.

Kaede had been right. As soon as the red-headed Anbu opened the door for her there was no one there and Kakashi glanced up from a scroll. He did a double take, obviously not expecting her.

As soon as the Anbu guard closed the door, she demanded, "Where is Raiden-kun?"

He sighed that heavy sigh and she wanted to scream but kept it together. "That information is classified."

"I won't tell anybody." She was madder than she was yesterday at him. It was like they could not be anything but upset at one another. She wondered if any of this was worth it. At this point she did not care if the whole village found out she was pregnant and thought she was a whore.

"I'm sorry." But he did not sound sorry.

"He's my friend!" She balled her fists, incredibly worried she would never see Raiden again. He had seemed so off last night. And her father wouldn't tell her anything.

Kakashi stood and rolled up the scroll he had been reading. "I know that."

Ayame felt her face redden, but not in embarrassment. She was enraged. "No you don't. Just stop!"

Kakashi quickly covered his surprise by narrowing his eyes. She felt bad about yelling at him but—but she needed answers.

Ayame's hands balled up into fists at her sides. "Stop, Kakashi-sensei. You don't have to be so patronizing. Not to me. I...I don't think I deserve that. And I know maybe it's like a defense mechanism and you do it when you think a little sarcastic joke is all people need and sometimes I think that's sweet but not right now. Don't. Just please don't."

He didn't try to cut her off or correct her and she wished he would. She wished he would. But he was listening. He was listening with an intent that only a genius of his caliber could.

"I—I like you," she said out loud. "I admire you. You don't have to pretend with me. I'm go—going to be your wife and I know it's in name only and because of the baby, but I like you. So if you could just believe that, if you could understand it, just trust me a little. Trust me to be honest with me. If you're annoyed, ge—get mad at me. Talk to me!"

Maybe this outburst wasn't just about Raiden. There was so much in her heart, and it was bursting.

He stayed quiet when she finished and maybe she'd gone too far. Too intimate. Too deep. Maybe she had broken whatever pretend role he'd given her, to make things less complicated, to make everything easier for himself and the village and it was always about the village.

And then he spoke, hesitantly, carefully. "It's not...that simple, Ayame."

She held her own. "Yes, it is."

His brows furrowed and he must have frowned, the outline of his lips turning down against his mask. "No," he said with finality and Ayame felt herself square up, rage unforgotten. Why was he being so bullheaded?


"Yesitis!" She argued with him. Her hands went to her abdomen subconsciously, as if protecting the baby from their verbal dispute. His eyes followed the movement. His child was in there. His child.

Yes, he was annoyed. Gravely, in fact. He did not think this was completely about Tanako Raiden either. They were always at odds and he could not do anything right by her. He was more upset at himself honestly for being such a clumsy fool around her.

He had always done well composing himself, as a shinobi and especially when he'd become a sensei. After the death of his first team, Kakashi shut down all unnecessary emotions to make sure any future teamed mission became a success. The tactic had been useful for Anbu. Later, his students had needed him to be composed. As messed up as they had all been, himself included, he had no choice. He hadn't minded it. It helped him. It helped his comrades.

Now, as Hokage, he had to think of the village and everyone in it, including Ayame. She was a civilian, but now she was a civilian pregnant with his child and was to be his wife.

But of course one of her closest friends had to be a missing rogue. From Ame of all places. Of course.

Ayame paced the room, throwing her hands up every so often in dramatic flare. He watched her lips move. She was talking and talking and, my God, he wanted to kiss her so she would shut up. She didn't know what she was saying. Yes, he had been an idiot for not returning the embrace—and sure, he could have handled the Raiden situation differently. He abused his power, alright, but she had—she had started it.

She was going to be his Daishukujo. She could not be seen frolicking around with other men, especially with Ame rogues. She was engaged to the kage of a village. She was engaged to him.

He walked around the desk and she began stuttering as he approached her. Her lashes fluttered and bottom lip wobbled, trying so hard not to cry. Yes, he knew she was in love with him. And sure, he was aware of how she'd stare and be extra sweet to him this past year, even after he had all but ignored it. He had taken advantage of her love and he could not blame it on a few cups of sake anymore.

He remembered everything from that night. He remembered how precious she looked in her blue dress and how teasing she'd been dancing with him—how hopeful she had been when she pressed her pink, pink lips against his cheek. Yes, he remembered.

He also remembered how he had followed her home, more curious than he ever should have been. In the back of his mind, he'd known she would not deny him if he said the right things, if he touched her the right way. It was despicable and sad, really. He'd nearly laughed when she had apologized after everything, saying some nonsense about taking advantage of him. He'd barely had four cups and she thought he'd thrown his inhibitions to hell.

Kakashi wondered, not for the first time, if she really thought so little of herself. And look, now she was bringing that up, again. It always came up. That night was the bane of their existence. He needed to put a stop to the endless disagreement on that specific night. He thought he would enlighten her.

"I wasn't drunk." He was close, so close to her. Cherry almond enveloped his senses.

She sputtered. "Wh-what?"

"I wasn't drunk," he said again, offhandedly, as if he were commenting on the weather. He was a scumbag.

She raised her trembling chin up in defiance. "I saw you. You smelled like sake."

His hands found their way to her small waist, pulling her close. She gasped so softly and it reminded him of another time when she had gasped multiple times, softer still. Her hands went up to his forearms, steadying her balance. As if he would let her fall.

He leaned down, placing his lips against the skin behind her ear. He pressed a light kiss and reveled in her shudder. He said, "One sip of sake could even make your virgin mouth taste like alcohol for hours."

She pushed herself away from him. He let her. He tried to ignore the ache in his sternum. At any rate, he deserved it. He deserved for her not to want his touch. She crossed her arms, subdued. She whispered, "Why are you telling me this?"

Why, indeed.

He sighed. "Ayame, you're a beautiful woman. And I'm a stupid man." He held up a hand when she tried to say something. She scowled at his silencing gesture, probably more annoyed she heeded it without thinking. He spoke before she started to say what she intended to. "Please. I think you should go home. Yugao."

Yugao morphed out of the tiles after his tiger sign, bowing with a fist to the floor. "Hokage-sama."

"Please assist my fiancé home. She's not feeling well."

"Yes, milord." Yugao turned to Ayame, bow form unchanged. "Ayame-sama."

Ayame's crossed arms tightened around herself. She glared. "You don't have to be so formal with me anymore, Yugao-san."

Her lowered gaze met Kakashi's, unrestrained fury dancing like flames in her eyes. Kakashi held his breath.

"You don't have to call me that anymore because I will not be marrying your precious Hokage." She turned on her heel and left.


Early that night Ayame cried herself to sleep and Kakashi continued to be Hokage.

He continued to be Hokage when he had Yugao follow Ayame home and continued to be Hokage when he had Shikamaru take over documentation for the rest of the day so he could rearrange area eighteen. With chidori.

Sorely unsatisfied, Kakashi made his way back to the Tower, politely nodding at the casual passerby.

"Good evening, Hokage-sama!"

"Good evening."

"Taking a late night stroll, I see, Hokage-sama."

"Yes, goodnight."

"Congratulations, Hokage-sama!"

"Thank you."

"Yo, Kakashi." Pause. "You look like hell."

"Hey, Genma."

"Ay yo, Kaka-I mean, Hokage-sama!"

A nod.

"Where's ya purrty laaaadyyy, Kashi-sama?"

"Go home, you're drunk."

Bow. "Have a good night, milord."

Another nod. "Madam."

At the last possible second, Kakashi took a right instead of a left. Why so nervous? He would just ask her if she was serious about not becoming the Daishukujo. If she was, he'd have no choice but to let her go. He thought he could force her—but he could not. Not anymore. Not if she was half as miserable as he thought she was.

The Fire Daimyo and the elders would be disappointed, and then when they would see her belly grow—well. Kakashi did not really want to think about the repercussions. People were starting to find out who the Daishukujo would be. He could handle himself, but he wondered if Ayame was capable of withstanding the sort of scrutiny others were capable of. Thoughts of his father filled his mind.


Ayame woke up dreaming about pickles. Rubbing her puffy eyes, she crawled out of bed, keeping the quilt over her shoulders. Why was February so cold? She shivered.

Did she even have pickles? She really hoped so. Sour, vinegary cucumbers. Her mouth watered, already anticipating the sour, crunchy taste.

She opened the fridge. Yes. One left in the jar. Oh this was perfect. She noticed the half-eaten tomato and resolved to also eat that—drenched in vinegar, of course. She grabbed the glass bottle of vinegar, along with a small bowl and knife to cut the tomato. Her fingers would do fine in place of a fork. She wondered if this was healthy for the baby.

The baby.

Ayame slowly put her snack on the two-seater. Her hand slid down to her lower tummy. There wasn't really a bump just yet. Her tummy felt harder, as if an internal wall had been built just behind her skin. She wasn't a kunoichi with tight, attractive muscles on the planes of her stomach, nor did she jog nearly enough to ever garnish tight abs. Or a tight anything for that matter. Feeling a hard abdominal region was new. Ayame slowly smiled, letting her other hand join her tummy, pulling her nightgown tight across her midriff.

If she looked close enough, maybe yeah, she could see a little bump forming. Barely. Her mind was probably making it up since she knew it was there. The idea of it simultaneously thrilled and terrified her all at the same time. A baby. She was going to be a mother.

Ayame snapped to attention at the shuffle outside her kitchen. "Yugao-san?" The Anbu kunoichi was always so quiet, Ayame was surprised to hear her making any noise in the apartment.

"Sorry to disappoint."

She heard Kakashi's voice before she saw him. He stepped into the kitchen, light illuminating his uniform clad body. He wore standard shinobi trousers and a sleeveless under armor fitted tight across his chest. What stood out were the pink scratches that ran up and down his forearms and his gloves were in pieces. It also looked like he had been sweating, certain parts of his muscle shirt wet. His hair had even lost its oomph and hung flat on his forehead.

She almost asked what happened but quickly remembered how upset she was at him. He'd never just come in before. So she ignored him and sat down. She began arranging her snacks, cutting the tomato into cubes. He just stood there, making her feel guiltier the more she disregarded his presence in the kitchen.

She bit her lip when he joined her at the table and decided to pour the vinegar in the bowl. "You don't have to—" She cut herself off, meeting his gaze. She hadn't meant to speak. Dang it. He raised an eyebrow, amused. He pulled his mask down, plucked a piece of tomato from the cutting board and promptly ate it.

Her mouth watered. She frowned. He smirked and she silently continued to finish cutting the tomato. She glanced at the doorframe, wondering what Yugao thought of the late night visit. Since the woman guarded her during the day, perhaps there was another Black Ops member at night? Ayame blushed. What if they thought that she—before marriage—well she had but not-

"There's no need to worry about your guard."

Ayame reddened. He always picked up on what she was thinking. "People are already talking."

"Yes, people have a tendency to do that."

"You being here doesn't help," she accused, glaring at a pickle. She reached for it and took a big bite, chewing. Wow. So good. She couldn't remember ever enjoying a pickle so much.

"I am sure my Anbu aren't the progenitors of the 'talking' that's going around." As an afterthought, he added, "They're sworn to secrecy. On pain of death, actually."

Ayame's mouth gapped and Kakashi passed her an eye crinkle. She flung a tomato cube at him. He caught it with his mouth, smirking. He grabbed her half-eaten pickle, took two bites and basically swallowed what he bit after three chews. Her lips curled in disgust.

"Want the rest?" He offered the half-eaten cucumber.

"No, thank you," she mumbled, starting on the tomato cubes. She poured them in the vinegar bowl. He finished the pickle while she ate the tomato pieces. Why was he here? She doubted it was to eat her food. She glanced up at him and when she saw he was staring, glanced away. Why was he acting so weird? She had always known he could just come in (because ninja derr) but he had never actually done it. And he was being nice and not self-depreciating for a change.

Feeling satisfied, at least in her tummy, Ayame stood and he followed after her. She didn't acknowledge his assistance as he grabbed the used kitchenware. As she emptied the pickle jar, he began to wash her dishes. "You don't have to do that," she said.

He gave her a "really" look and continued to wash the cutting board. Ayame tried not to sigh and went to the bathroom to wash her mouth and hands. She also grabbed her robe, attempting to look more modest, leaving the quilt behind in the room. She came back to see him drying cut up hands. They must have burned when he ate the pickle.

"What happened to them?" she finally asked. He looked at her and then his hands. She looked away, oddly timid.

"I was training."

"O-okay." Of course that was why his hands were cut up.

"Ayame, look at me."

She held her breath. She didn't look at him.

She heard him sigh. He tossed the towel on the counter, and she heard him make his way towards her. She gave herself credit for not stepping back. He could be so intimidating. She thought of his lips against her ear.

"Do you really want to end the engagement? I need to know."

Coming from Kakashi, the question sounded pretty demanding, and it made her pause. Ayame allowed a nod. She looked at him when he exhaled roughly, different from his usual, perpetual sighing. He ran his hands through his hair, obviously frustrated. She stared. She'd never seen him like this.

"I can understand you being upset, but to end the engagement—"

"I hugged you."


She said this very softly, but he still heard. He still heard her. And then he understood. He examined her thoughtfully—her hair askew, pieces of it falling out of her braid, nightgown raffled, eyes swollen from sleep and tears. Her lashes lowered, delicate features subdued. Sad.

And Kakashi understood. Kurenai's reprimand held true. "And I didn't respond to you."

Her lip wobbled. "Yes," she breathed. Her eyes met his, dark on dark.

He reached forward, taking her trembling hands in his. Her soft gasp gave him pause but he did not let go. His next words were important. He had known for months how she felt, and it was about time he considered her feelings. Her eyes sparkled up at him, big and hopeful. Sensei used to look at Kushina-san like that, Kakashi remembered.

So Ayame 'liked' him.

"I want to marry you, Ayame. I want to look at you the way you look at me."

She closed her eyes, tears spilling down her cheeks. "But can you?"

He brought her hands around his waist, pulling her close. His chin rested on top of her head as she trembled against him. To complete the embrace she'd started, his arms wound around her slender shoulders.

"I'm learning to. Please be patient with me."


How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us, we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.

-W.H. Auden, 'The More Loving One'