I do not own Naruto.


Chapter 14


Ayame drifted in and out, sleep coming with each reassurance that Kakashi was beside her. Another time she awoke, and he was carrying her—and another time, she was on the bed. She was not used to sleeping with another person so closely, so she continued to wake, readjusting herself.

The last time she repositioned herself, she simply faced him, and he, her. She drifted in and out. It all seemed like a dream as Ayame's eyes opened to orange light streaming in through the glass doors of their suite.

Outside, Kakashi stood chatting with a pink haired woman. It was Sakura. Ayame slowly blinked, vision adjusting to the sunrise and the room. Kakashi must have carried her.

Groggily, Ayame sat up on the bed, covers dropping to her waist. On cue, both shinobi paused to glance at her. Ayame flushed and wiggled her fingers in greeting. Sakura, in full gear, happily waved back. The two resumed conversation. Ayame wondered, when Sakura had seen her sensei without a mask, if she had been stunned.

Kakashi wore plain clothes, hair tousled as usual. Ayame's expression warmed. He must have showered and changed sometime throughout the night.

She scurried to the bathroom to wash her mouth and face, crawling back into bed as Kakashi stepped inside. Sakura was gone and he seemed somber but she noticed the way his eyes brightened when they met hers.

"Hey," he said and Ayame wished he didn't need to cover his scar or his birthmark. "Good morning."

"Good morning," she replied, braid askew. She wanted to ask why Sakura had come, but she was afraid to involve herself. It had not gone very well last time.

He climbed into bed. He sat with a leg on the bed, pointing towards her and the other hung over the edge. His hands rested on his knees as he slumped into the headboard. She smiled, pulling the covers up to her chest. He was so handsome.

"We should talk," he said.

"What do you want to know?" That was probably the right way to respond.

"You play the drums?"

Ayame's smile widened. "A little. Yumi-nechan taught me."

"Your sister?" He was curious and she couldn't blame him. She didn't talk much about personal things outside of their relationship. Neither did he. She did want to, but she couldn't think of a time where either of them tried.

He smiled at her and her heart fluttered. Everything about him was so distracting. "Yeah."

Kakashi nodded. "You aren't close."

"I love my sister."

"I'm sure she loves you, too." He waited.

"I'm…not really sure why we are the way we are."

"Hm."

Her cheeks warmed, not knowing what else to say.

Kakashi looked away from her to the sunrise and then down at the mattress. Maybe he didn't know what to say either.

She touched his face, winning his gaze. "I don't like these stickers on your face."

He chuckled. "They're skin films but I think I like stickers better."

"Do you wear them to protect yourself?"

"It's more to protect you."

"Oh. Because you're the Hokage?"

"Because I'm the Hokage."

Her eyes widened. "You're the what!"

They exchanged soft chuckles at the running joke and then they were both smiling downwards, not quite sure how to breech the heavier topic.

He carefully took her hands in his and the covers fell away.

Kakashi surmised it was time to clarify every confusion and put a stop to the isolation of her feelings. It was about a year ago when the friendliness started.

"When did you start to feel this way?"

Ayame smiled shyly. "Um...maybe a year ago?"

"Was there a specific moment?"

She squeezed his hands. "You were visiting Ichiraku's with Naruto. He said something about me being a great chef and you said it's because I'm a good person. You weren't really talking to me—"she laughed, embarrassed—"but I guess it stuck with me and I paid more attention to you. I realized I felt happy whenever you came around. A girl can't help but imagine feeling that every day of her life."

"Ayame, I didn't know." He misjudged how sincere her affections were. He'd only thought it was a crush—it was not uncommon. Admirers were fine but he never entertained them.

Her smile softened. "You never asked. I tried to stand out when you stopped by but you never responded like I hoped. By the time Naruto's wedding came, I was…sad. And then when I—I, um, kissed your cheek and you didn't respond, it all kinda hit home and I was really sad."

She held his hands tighter and the light in her eyes dimmed.

He said, "I'm sorry."

She closed her eyes in thought for a second. "I think I understand a little now. There was the war and then you became Hokage. Maybe it didn't seem like you could fit me in?"

"Ayame, it's not like that."

"It's okay, Kakashi-san. I'm not a child, you know. I rationalized your indifference a thousand different ways. One of them, I figured, was the reason."

They stared at one another and he exhaled. "You seemed happy where you were. I didn't want to take that from you." It seemed like such a small reason now, after everything they'd done.

Ayame searched his face. "I wanted to be happy with you."

He didn't say anything.

Her heart broke for him, tears emerging—he saw it plainly on her face. "You give me happiness, Kakashi-san."

"If these past few months say anything—"

"—if they say anything, it's that I'll be happy," she was almost abrasive. "These months have been hard, but," she choked up—"but I don't think I've ever been as happy in my whole life. To be with the one you love—being next to you—please don't be so hard on yourself!" Her hands traveled to his forearms and squeezed, knees rearranging to dig into the mattress before him. It was as if she were begging him to believe everything she was saying.

"Hey—hey, don't cry." He never meant for her to pick up on the self-criticism. It was the thorn on his side. She shouldn't feel the need to pull him out of it. He drew her near and she hugged him tight, nuzzling her nose into his shirt as she often did. "I'm happy, too."

She peeked up at him. He had made her a promise that he would make her happy every day but perhaps he had spoken out of emotion. That did not mean he couldn't still try.

"I meant what I said on our wedding day. But I'll admit every time we fight the promise seems empty."

She nodded into his chest. "I doubt myself too when you get all mad at me. Like two whole times."

"You've counted the times I've gotten mad?"

"It's hard not to!" Her hands planted on his chest so she could look at him. "You're so even tempered. It's amazing!"

"I'm blushing."

"Haha! Shut up! Now compliment me."

"You have a nice ass."

She shook with silent laughter, unable to hold herself up. She smacked his shoulder a few times to catch her breath.

He found himself smiling like an idiot. "It's my favorite part of you."

"Ka-Kakashi-san. Stopppp."

"Sometimes I just look at it and feel better about a lot of things." He held her upright while she guffawed, holding her stomach.


In the evening, they went to see the musicians perform at the inn's venue. It was a long room separated by a rectangular stage down the middle of it. The tables lined up against huge open windows. The wind carried the fragrance of the sea.

The musicians were exceptional. Ayame was enraptured by the woman who had held the child during the wagon incident. Her voice was incredible and one of the romantic songs made Yugao tear up and stare out the window the rest of the night. It was about separated lovers hoping to reunite.

Kakashi often caught himself watching Ayame. How could her responses to the sound of music intrigue him so? She hadn't let go of his hand throughout the show except to clap and then it was back to touching him.

Thankfully, she was back to wearing her lengthy skirts and dropped out of Yugao's crash course on how to be an undercover kunoichi. She joked about not being very good at it and Kakashi bit his tongue very, very hard.

After the performance, Akira came to greet them in full sparkling wear. After acknowledging everyone and joking around, he bowed deeply to Kakashi.

"Thank you, milord. For helping our friend."

Ayame looked to Kakashi. Her eyes were wide in question.

Akira nodded to her, hand on his chest. "No worries, Aya-chan. Your secret is safe with just me. Your husband has done a kind thing, you see. Know Konoha always has a friend in me and my family." As if in afterthought, Akira provided, "Ishimaru and Ryoka will be staying in Nami no Kuni. It is best, you see. Tazuna-san assured as soon Ishimaru is able, there will be a job ready for him. Good man, Tazuna-san is."

"He is," Kakashi nodded, storing the information. "I hope you will visit Konoha soon."

"Let us perform for your great village after our June tour in Amegakure."

"Ame?"

"Tough crowd, I'll admit," Akira said, "but all the more reason to bring the joy of music, you see."

"I think that's lovely," Yugao chimed in, gaze drifted off but hearing pervasive. Her elbow rested on the table, palm holding cheek up. Fuko sat next her. His eyes softened in sympathy. And then Yugao smiled gently. "I think that's really lovely."


Kakashi and Ayame walked hand and hand down a path lit up by lights zigzagging from high palm trees. The breeze danced through the air with scents of coconuts and bonfires.

"Some old friends from Nami invited us to dinner tomorrow."

"Old friends?"

Kakashi told her the story of team seven's first C mission gone awry. She listened, enraptured, and finally, pleased with the ending. She asked if the Tazuna in the story was the same Tazuna Akira referred to.

"Yes."

She stopped strolling and faced him. "You changed everything for that family and team seven." She was beautiful, eyes reflecting the lights above them. She stepped closer. "You changed everything for me."

Kakashi leaned down and she tilted her chin up. "I love you," he said seriously.

Her mouth was on his and Kakashi staggered as her arms wrapped around his neck. Quickly, he held her so they wouldn't lose balance. She parted from him and laughed at his expression.

His eyes narrowed. Ayame only grinned, pleased with the surprise attack. Kakashi said nothing and grabbed her hand, pulling her to walk. He veered off the main path behind a palm tree.

"Kakashi-san?"

He surveyed the area before enveloping her into his arms, kissing her intensely. His hand found the back of her neck and angled her to deepen the kiss, tipping her backwards. His tongue languidly stroked hers. He backed her against the tree, knee wedging itself between her legs to pull her up and closer to him.

Ayame felt completely unashamed—this was her husband. She moaned quite loudly when he rolled his hips against hers.

"Ayame," he said between the dizzying kiss, "shh."

"Oh!" she kissed back, thoroughly enjoying herself. "This feels so good," she breathed. She experimented there behind the palm tree, passing couples none the wiser as she made out with her husband. She touched his arms and chest and shoulders, overcome.

Ayame had to pull away to catch her breath and he simply held her. She dug her nose into his chest, feeling light and incredibly happy. They loved one another!

She was still amazed by the development. Her family had teased her so much about Kakashi when she started crushing on him. She had been open about her feelings and he so quiet of his that no one would have thought that he pined first. As intuitive as Otousan was, he had not known. And then Kakashi had gone and casually announced it to an entire wedding audience.

It still did not make sense that he had solicitated her the night of the Shinobi-Civilian festivities but now it was dawning on her that he had probably been offering a commitment and not monetary things. She wished he would have been clearer.

She would not be so quick to doubt him anymore. She would have faith in him. Now that they were being honest with one another, she mustered up the courage.

In each other's embrace, she asked, "Kakashi-san, remember the night of the festival? When you came to speak with me…" Her face was already hot. Being so forthcoming about such intimate things was rather difficult.

"You misunderstood."

She looked at him, chin resting on his chest. "You knew?"

"Not immediately. At the time, believing you wanted nothing to do with me was easy to accept."

"You were asking to marry me, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"You're really sorry about our…our night together?"

He nodded and she could see the shame in his eyes, clearly for the first time. It pained him that he deliberately ignored both their feelings and favored a night of pleasure with a woman whose only crime was to love an unreachable man. He had taken advantage.


"I forgive you."

Kakashi kissed her. Her softness and acceptance nearly made him groan. He ran his hands down her arms, wanting to feel her—to hold her.

He parted, observing her. Her pink lips were swollen and brown eyes shined in anticipation.

"Kakashi-san, that week was hard for me." And just like that she opened up. "I was so disappointed in myself. It was a moment of weakness. I didn't care if you l-loved me—I didn't care if you were using me—I was so lonely."

"Ayame—" She grabbed his face dramatically and he stopped talking, surprised. She stared very seriously at him. Absurdly adorable, it was.

"Kakashi-san, if I would have clearly said no that night, would you have stopped?"

"Of course," he said. He dreaded she had felt forced every time he thought of it.

She smiled pitifully. "I knew that too. Do you understand? I'm not a child. I'm not Haruhi-san. I knew what I was doing. I was taught a man only goes as far as a woman lets him. And I let you. I was lonely that night. You have no idea how much—"

"I know," he stopped her. "I was too."

And then she chuckled in a slow exhale and he smiled. That was quite the admission. It was not a secret anymore.

"Can you imagine if we had only kissed?" she said very shyly. One of her thumbs reached up to caress his bottom lip. He'd done it to her multiple times. Warmth filled his belly.

She leaned closer. "We would have just shared an awkward laugh...and maybe decided to go on a date. A few months later, maybe we could have been engaged, for different reasons." Her hands went from his face to her belly, his arms still around her. "And one day, sure, after a couple years of marriage, we would have this baby."

He marveled. He was not sure if they had stopped at kissing that he would have courted her, but he knew what was in front of him now. "The man you're talking about sounds honorable," he admitted, "and very romantic."

"Oh Kakashi-san," she said. "You are honorable." And then she began to blink rapidly with a very red face, suddenly set on looking at everything but him. "And... very romantic."

His own face warmed. "Thank you." He brought his hands between them and asked, "May I?"

Flushing further, Ayame nodded. She leaned back on the tree and took her hands out of the way. His hovered above her little bump. When he slowly made contact on her blouse, she wondered how long he had wanted to do that. She'd caught him staring countless times. His fingers spread across her stomach, feeling.

"The heartbeat," he said. "I can feel it."

Ayame gasped as he slid his hands higher. "You can? How?" she asked, suddenly overwhelmed with the idea that there was an entire human being inside of her.

Kakashi shrugged. "Ninja."

She laughed at his nonchalance. "If you say so." She leaned her head back and studied the way Kakashi indulged himself in fatherly musings. She wondered how it'd feel to sense the baby's heartbeat. It was impossible but a girl could dream.


"I don't think we should, Ayame."

Her gaze quickly moved from one part of his face to the other, searching. "We'll never?"

They sat at the foot of the bed, freshly showered and in their sleepwear. A heavy hue of red painted their cheeks.

Kakashi anticipated all the responses she could've potentially said but did not guess this one. His brows nearly touched his hairline. A single, fat tear spilled from one of her eyes and slid with heaviness towards her jaw. She told him she had never been a crier until the pregnancy but he was convinced it was his fault entirely.

She worried her lip and then managed to speak again, his prolonged silence only disconcerting her. "Kakashi-san, we are married. I've always wanted a lot of kids—"

Kakashi quickly grabbed her hand, interrupting her. "Hey, hey—what are you saying?" He leaned in and pecked her lips. How easy it was to now do.

She sniffled, searching his gaze. "What?"

"Ayame, I'll give you as many kids as you want."

"Then why can't we..." she subconsciously glanced back towards the pillows and Kakashi nearly gulped.

"I want to," he assured. "You have no idea of all the things I want to do to you." She was already blushing madly at his words and he was not being specific. "But you're not ready." Though he had an inkling she would certainly be willing tonight if only to please him.

She scooted closer, completely enraptured with every word that came out of his mouth. "But you want to. I'm your wife now..."

"No doubt," he said and rested his forehead on hers. How could he put this in simple words? He no longer wanted to seem ambiguous to her, as that had already caused too many misunderstandings between them. "Putting aside our marriage and that night, if we had started a normal relationship as you said, where would we be?"

"...three months of dating."

"Where do you say a man and a woman are then?"

"…getting to know one another."

"Ayame," he said, kissing her again, longer this time. If this was how love felt from a woman, Sasuke was mad to be away from it. "Ayame," he said once more, "let's befriend one another. When the time comes, we'll know."

She closed her eyes and nodded in agreement, blindly searching for his lips. She kissed the tip of his nose, a nostril, and then the side of his mouth. He smiled at the girlish antics and held her jaw in place, mouths a hairsbreadth away. Her full attention was required for this.

"Ayame, let's wait." It was not what his body wanted, and not even his heart, but he desired to ultimately please her.

"How long are you willing to do this for me?" she said and managed to graze her mouth against his before he slowly pulled away enough to answer her.

"You tell me."

She blushed, focusing on her speech. "Um...let's say we would have dated for...a year. Maybe engaged for another?" She frowned at her own suggestion.

The idea of waiting two years made him antsy. "We should take into consideration our long acquaintance," he proposed.

She nodded, quickly agreeing. "And our mutual friendships."

"Yes. And there is Naruto."

"I was just about to say that! Family friends wouldn't wait as long...right?"

He nodded, playing along. "Those facts would theoretically cut down our courtship to five months and our engagement to..."

"Two months!" She nearly shouted, clearly not trusting his accumulating mathematics.

He smirked. "Impatient?"

She turned the color of Sakura's hair. "If we had dated I would have probably wanted a quick engagement."

He laughed and her brows furrowed. "We'll wait however long we need to. How about that? No timeline."

"Fine. If that's okay with you."

"It's more than okay, Ayame."

She smiled prettily and then glanced down at their intertwined fingers. She tucked her legs under her. "Can we...kiss some more?"

"I don't see why not," he said. They'd been at it all evening.

She barely let him finish his sentence before she attached herself to his mouth. Her arms slid around his shoulders and held him close. His hands landed on her hips, again surprised at the eagerness.

He gently moved his lips against the force of hers, coaxing a slower pace. She was still new at it but the way she leaned into him—the way she mewled and breathed and smelled—she hooked a leg around him and was suddenly sitting on his—

"Ayahmm," he tried to say her name but could not. Her fingers traveled into his hair and pulled. Imitation was a form of flattery but when she rolled her hips into his groin, Kakashi questioned his intelligence having done so earlier. Kakashi yanked his mouth to the right, freeing his lips.

"Kakashi-san!" she whined and because he kept lips unavailable, she pressed light kisses on his jaw and neck. Gestures she learned from him. "You said we could kiss."

Had they switched roles? Since she was sitting on it, Kakashi did not think he had to explain. He held her quietly as her kisses gradually stopped. She tucked her forehead on the crook of his neck.

"Too much?" she whispered.

He did not answer right away. His eyes peered out the glass wall and into the night, observing as fizzled clouds moved across a monochrome sky.

"Ayame, if you kiss me like this…" He would not last the night.

She hugged him tighter. "Okay."

"Hmm."

"I don't know what came over me. Kissing is so nice."

He caressed the small of her back, leaning his chin on her shoulder. "Very nice," he echoed and held her on his lap for what must have been an hour as they continued to chat and give each other light kisses.


Dinner had gone well. Inari and his family liked Ayami. Especially Tazuna. Kakashi recalled Homura and how easily he'd been taken by his wife as well. Kakashi melancholily grouped himself with the geezers who fancied her.

After dinner and board games, Ayame and Tsunami left to tidy the kitchen. The retreat made him slightly uneasy, especially when he walked in for a moment and they both stared at him silently. He walked away feeling like he had interrupted something but decidedly did not question it. When the couple returned to the inn, Ayame did not bring up the peculiar encounter, only that she liked Tazuna and his family.

The rest of the week went well. Kakashi was pleased by Ayame's genuine character and usual wardrobe. It was not long before he realized if she was next to him, she liked to touch him. Her thigh or foot always had to touch his if they were sitting together—if they were standing, she would automatically hold his hand. He did not mind. He wasn't used to public displays of intimacy but he enjoyed Ayame and it was fine.

Although he didn't start the amicable touches, he never pulled away. Her physical touches replaced his absent ones. He could initiate conversation and sensuality from her, but the sort of touch she provided was innocent and tender and at times he would feel at a loss.

She was showing her love tenfold. It was like she had been waiting to hear the words 'I love you' so she could finally express everything she ever felt for him.

"Kakashi-sama." On their last morning at the inn, Fuko knocked at their door.

"Open," Kakashi said, serious tone matching the Anbu's. He sat on the bed waiting for Ayame as she finished pampering in the bathroom. They were to depart soon.

Ayame peeked around the threshold and saw Fuko fall to a kneeling position. Kakashi was already on his feet. Ayame slid a hairpin in her carefully contrived up-due and walked into the bedroom, curious as to what was going on.

"What is it, Fuko?"

"A messenger hawk, milord."

Fuko held out a small, rolled up note and Kakashi fetched it quickly.

Ayame watched her husband scan the contents of the note. His brows furrowed and he cursed. And there was grief in his eyes. Ayame's heart squeezed within her chest. Kakashi had been completely living in the moment with her for the last week, but she knew his heart would wonder away, thinking of the village he was guardian of. He'd put it all aside to give her attention and make her happy. She wondered why the Godaime couldn't wait until they arrived home to talk business. Ayame suddenly felt guilty for thinking such a thing.

As Kakashi reread the note, Fuko glanced at Ayame and she smiled. Her smile wavered when his pale eyes dropped to the floor. It was not good news. Not good news at all.

Kakashi's heavy sigh gripped Ayame and Fuko's attention. She pressed her palms to her stomach with bated breath. He was holding out the note towards her. She stared at it.

"Take it, Ayame."

"Wha-what?"

Kakashi gently grabbed one of her hands and pressed the paper to her fingers. "Don't be afraid. We'll be making a stop as soon as we get into Konoha."

"A stop?"

He nodded. "As the Hokage and his Daishukujo."


If there were dreams to sell,

What would you buy?

Some cost a passing bell;

Some a light sigh,

[…]

If there were dreams to sell,

Merry and sad to tell,

And the crier rang the bell,

What would you buy?

-Thomas L. Beddoes, stanza I of 'Dream-Pedlary'