Chapter 12

The first thing he saw as he stumbled into the office was a warm smile on the Chief's face. The second thing he noticed were the bruises on his cheeks. The third thing he noticed was the stack of papers on the desk.

"Captain Hank Stanley." He held out his hand Hank took it.

"Good morning Chief. To what do I own the pleasure?"

"Sorry to drop by this early in the morning, especially without warning. I just wanted to make sure I grabbed you before shift change."

The usually talkative man was suddenly quiet, lost in thought.

"I wanted to drop by the station and personally congratulate you about the results of your exam. You ought to be proud of yourself, son. I brought the exam with me to show you something."

He had no words, but even if he had, he wouldn't have been able to push past the lump in his throat and he wouldn't have been able to speak over the pounding thump of his heart. So he nodded, intently, hoping that his gratitude would be clearly written in his eyes.

"You not only aced this exam, but some of your answers actually gave the department new ideas for how to effectively fight fires. For example, question fourteen asked you to draw a diagram depicting the dispersion of units at a three-alarm fire. Question fifteen asks what to do if there aren't enough units available. We really liked how you utilized the two-and-a-half lines to pour water from above, and the inch-and-a-halves for direct attack. We are interested in doing some test burns to decide if this is a tactic that we should actively use. Maybe then we'd have to send less engines to a blaze, which obviously frees up more resources to remain available. I like the way you think, Hank."

"Thank you, Sir." He winced at how unnaturally high his voice was.

"Any questions about the practical aspect of the exam?"

"No."

"I'm not surprised. From the looks of it, you know what you're doing…"

A knock at the door startled them both.

"Morning Chief, Hank."

It was Captain Hookraider, reporting for the start of his shift.

"Good morning Captain! Hank and I were just discussing some things. Listen, why don't you two chat, get your change of shift stuff done. I'll go grab some more coffee and maybe some breakfast."

Marching into the kitchen, head held high, the five men of A-shift couldn't help but stare at the purple bruises on the Chief's face. Reaching for the pot of coffee, he felt their eyes. He smiled.

"Morning boys. Your captain did one hell of a job yesterday didn't he? I remember when he was an engineer. Did you ever hear the story of his first day?"

The story of Hank's first day as engineer had long since finished, but McConnicke was still talking about him, recalling stories of Hank's time under his command. C-shift was arriving just as McConnicke wrapped up the story of how Hank saved an entire engine crew from an explosion because he was outside the building and saw the changes to the smoke pattern billowing from broken windows.

"Wow! I never knew about that!" Mike spoke first.

"Yes, well, I doubt that Hank would have mentioned it. He's one of the humblest men I've met."

"I didn't realize you thought so highly of him." Chet realized he'd spoken aloud after the words were said.

Johnny elbowed him in the ribs. The Chief laughed.

"Boys, I know that Hank thinks I'm out to get him." He raised his hands to stop the denials he knew were coming. "We had a rough patch, I'll be honest. But I respect the man for his work and his character. You all were damn lucky to have had him as your captain…" he stopped himself and without warning strode to the door where he disappeared.

Cautiously, Marco fielded a question to his companions.

"What do you think he meant by we were lucky to 'have had' him?"

No one answered. No one had to.

Chet opened his mouth to ask a question, but their privacy was broken by the arrival of C-shift into the kitchen, now dressed and ready for duty.

"Well look who it is! Johnny Gage and Roy DeSoto!" Spoke Marvin Ryan, a paramedic. "How's the squad?"

"Let's go see!" Roy lead him out, John followed.

The engine crews conversed with their counterparts, discussing the calls from yesterday, and soon enough the change-over was complete. 9:00.

As the two captains called their respective crews, A-shift was released and C-shift was on duty.

"Roll call." The stern voice of Captain Hookraider called out.

"He really wastes no time, does he?" The Chief remarked, having followed the captains back to the kitchen. "Hank?"

"Ah, yes." Following the Chief, Hank glanced once more at his men who watched him closely.

As soon as the pair turned the corner, and as soon as their conversation was at least semi-masked by Captain Hook's typical morning lecture, Mike seemingly took command of the band of off-duty firemen.

"We should stay."

No one objected.

"Let's go get changed while we wait."

"Hank, I do want to apologize. I didn't think you'd had a chance to tell your crew about the exam yet and based on their reaction to my being here, I know they don't know. I am sorry if I interrupted your plans to tell them."

"Don't worry about it Chief. I was going to tell them today, but to be honest, I'm not sure how. I know I only am sharing the results. It's not like I am leaving them yet."

The Chief looked down.

"Chief?"

"I wanted you to hear this from me, not anyone else. I'm fifty-two years old and have been with this department for thirty years. I'm not ready to retire, but I am ready to move to a quieter setting. As of September 1st, I will be stepping down as Battalion Chief and moving to a new office where I will be Chief of Structural and Operational Policy. It might not sound like much, but we've got a lot of new policy changes coming down the pike so to speak and it's the perfect environment."

"Congratulations! I'm very glad to hear that you aren't retiring yet. We still need you."

"You're a good man, Hank, and I'm gonna miss working with you in the field."

"Sir? Can I ask what prompted you to take this position?"

"Family. The family keeps growing. The kids need Grampa. Besides, I gotta admit. After all these years, a smooth 9-5 is wondrous fever dream."

"Congratulations Grampa!"

"Thanks Hank." He smiled. "I'm at the age where I'm ready to relax. Let someone else take the pressure, you know?"

"No, I guess I don't know. Not yet anyways."

"Good. Because if you said you understood, I wouldn't be able to ask you this next question."

He didn't speak for a few moments, contemplatively assessing Hank.

"The truth is, I have a proposition." He pulled a thick envelop from his bag and handed it to Hank.

Accepting the envelop, he held it tightly, his heart pounding.

"Since I will be stepping down, you have a choice to make. This is all under-the-radar. You can't talk about it until it's officially announced, but me and some higher-ups have been discussing things."

Noting the attentive posture that Hank held, the curiosity, he couldn't help but smile as the question rolled from his lips.

"How does Chief Henry Stanley of Battalion 14 A-shift sound to you?"

"What are all you still doing here?" Marvin asked as he entered the latrine.

"I could ask you the same." John said with a smirk.

"Latrine duty." A disgusted look came over his face.

"We were just chatting. Had a long day yesterday and we didn't really get the chance to catch-up." Marco answered the question.

"Well, stay clear of Hook. You know how he feels about unnecessary personnel."

Just then, a voice yelled out from the bay, "Hasn't A-shift left yet?"

"I see your point, Marvin." Mike added quickly.

Then the latrine door opened, revealing Captain Hookraider's stern face.

"You boys still here?"

"We just finished up changing and are leaving now." Chet said.

"Okay. You boys take care now."

The door shut.

"I think that's the nicest thing he's ever said." Chet remarked.

"Of course it's not even to his own crew." Marvin sighed.

Just then, the Klaxon sounded.

"Engine 51, trash fire. 53 Dumont. 5-3 Dumont. Cross Street, Meyer. Time Out, 9:17."

"Another trash fire? What's wrong with people today?" Chet complained.

"Well, at least it's not us this time." Marco said.

As the engine pulled away, A-shift left Marvin to his chores, returning to the rec room where they would wait for Hank.

He was too stunned to speak. He would open his mouth as if to speak, but no words would find their place on his tongue, so he'd close his jaw.

"Again, this is completely off the record. It won't even be announced until the board meeting on the 31st. Once it's announced, you obviously have all of August to think about it. See, what is today?"

"July 15th."

"Okay. I would really appreciate it if you would keep it to yourself until the 31st. I just don't want anything getting around that would make people suspicious. As soon as it's public knowledge, talk about it as freely as you'd like."

"Absolutely Chief! Except, can I tell my wife?"

"Of course," he laughed. "I know Emily won't say anything about. Besides, you're gonna need someone to keep you level headed."

A smirk crossed his lips.

"After all I wouldn't want another unfortunate helmet to get burned on my behalf."

Like a cartoon, if he had even tapped Hank's head with a feather, the man was so tense that he would have shattered into a thousand pieces. The color drained from his face before returning in its glory, turning his peach skin to a ghostly white, then to an unflattering shade of red. If his eyes bulged any more, they would have exploded. McConnicke thought for sure that if Hank didn't breathe in the next few seconds, he'd keel over unconscious, requiring the attention of a thoroughly trained squad.

Luckily for the Chief, Hank's instincts kicked in, forcing him to breathe once more, which in-turn brought his muscles to a much more relaxed state, though he was still stiff as a board

McConnicke roared at the sight. Slapping his knee, he flung backwards in the chair, laughter rolling off his lips like rapids tumbling over rocks in a mighty river.

"Hank? That was the greatest thing I've ever seen."

Dumbfounded, he blankly stared ahead.

"Listen Hank," his tone shifted to a more serious one once he'd regained control of himself, "I know we had some rough patches in the past. I also know that you burned my helmet. Yes, I knew it was you the next morning. To be honest, I wanted to be mad but I couldn't be because, well, frankly I deserved it. I want you to know that I have the utmost respect for you and I want nothing more than to see you succeed."

"Thank you, Sir. That means a lot to me." He felt tears welling in his eyes.

"You're very welcome," he paused. "And Hank? It's John."

For the first time since the helmet burning incident of his engineering days, Hank Stanley felt completely at ease in the presence of his former captain, now Chief. Understanding the mutual agreement that the past had been settled, the two found themselves laughing at what had transpired.

"Oh Hank I wish you had seen your face!"

The two chatted a few moments more before McConnicke stood up to leave.

"We both know your boys are probably wondering what's happening. You did tell them about taking the exam right?"

"Yes, they know I took it."

"So they probably know that you have the results."

"Yes."

"Bright, intuitive men you've got Hank."

"They're the best."

"I won't lie. It's hard. It's hard saying goodbye to a crew, especially one this good. I know you know this, but take it from me. Tell them sooner rather than later."

"I will. I'm going to talk to them in a few minutes."

"The Captain's Exam is July 29th. I haven't checked the sign-up sheet yet. When I do, any chance I'll see Stoker's name?"

Truthfully, he didn't know. He'd been meaning to talk to Mike, but the timing never worked out.

"I hope so."

"Me too. He'd be a phenomenal captain."

"He certainly would."

"By the way, one last question. How do you know that your crew is still here? They're off-shift now."

"They never leave until they know that everything's okay."

"Station 51, man trapped, Miners Canyon Road, approximately two miles past the creek. Time Out, 9:49."

"Engine 51, 10-4."

"Squad 51, KMG 365."

"Well, at least it's not a trash fire." Marvin called out to his partner as they jumped into the squad. They'd heard about A-shift's unfortunate pair of trash fires that morning, coupled with their own engine crew who'd just finished putting one out. Pulling down the driveway, they ventured onto the busy road, where they would soon run into their engine company and together, rescue a man trapped at the bottom of a canyon.

They were grateful for the empty station. Without C-shift, the five men of A-shift would be able to question, and if need-be, interrogate their captain for answers. Taking turns by the doorway, they were watching for any sign of movement from the office. During John's turn, he heard the door open.

"Sh..Sh...someone's coming."

"Who?"

"I said 'sh' Chet!"

"It's the Chief!"

Jumping away from the door, he grabbed the first thing he saw, which was a broom that had been left leaning against the phones. He began to sweep.

"You know Gage, working off-duty is frowned upon."

"Yes Sir. I know Sir."

"At ease Gage. All of you enjoy your day off."

"Yes Chief."

As he neared the door, he again turned to John.

"Oh and Gage, by the way, get a haircut."

And he left.

"Really Gage? A broom. Sweeping?"

"Oh shut up Chet. And the rest of you too. It's not funny."

"You're right. I'm sorry Cinderella." Roy sarcastically apologized.

"Blahhh." He stuck his tongue out.

Listening to the light-hearted banter, Hank realized just how much he was going to miss it. Tears formed in his eyes, his lips quivered.

No, not yet. Nothing is official.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Inhale. Hold…Exhale.

"For some reason, I knew you'd all still be here."

They jumped, unaware that Hank had been standing at the doorway.

"Hi Cap?" Chet asked.

"Oh Chet." John grumbled.

"Listen, would you all be able to hang around for a while? There's something I'd like to talk to you about."

Silence.

"Sure Cap. I can stay." John said nonchalantly.

"Of course!" Chet agreed.

"Me too." Marco replied.

"I already called JoAnne and told her I'd be late." Roy added.

"I'm not doing anything either, I just need to let Hannah know." Mike admitted.

"Sounds like a plan. I also have to make a call real quick. And, I'd like to change. I'll be right back."

In the solace of the latrine, Hank took a moment to splash some cold water on his face. He wasn't exactly tired, but he was feeling drained. Changing out of his uniform, he placed his badge in a small compartment on the front of his duffel bag, placing his folded shirt on the bottom. Folding his pants, he reaching into the right front pocket, removing a folded paper. Before placing it with his badge, he unfolded it. Tucked within the paper were two photos. Written on the back the first was:

Lisa-10, Ally-7, Emily, & Hank. July 1973.

I can't believe it's been five years. They're so grown up now.

He smiled at the family photo. He pulled out the other photo. Written on the back was:

John Gage, Chet Kelly, Marco Lopez, Mike Stoker, Hank Stanley, Roy DeSoto. November 1974.

I don't think I've ever had as much fun as I did that day. And I remember how disgruntled Roy was with the Barbershop Quintet. Too bad he left before we had a chance to perform. I still think we did a good job. Well, a good job for five guys with no musical talent that is.

Again, he felt tears come to his eyes.

Now everything is going to change. I gotta get going. Otherwise they'll come looking for me.

Packing his bag, he walked to the phone in the dorm, dialing the familiar number.

"Stanley Residence."

"Hi Em!"

"Oh Hank! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Head slouched against the wall, overcome with joy to hear her voice and anger at himself.

I forgot to call last night and I didn't call this morning.

"Honey, I'm so sorry I didn't call. We got back late last night and this morning was a bit…unusual."

By her silence, he could tell she was itching to ask what happened.

"Are you sure you're okay? You sound like the world's falling apart."

"I do?"

"Well, not to anyone else, but to me. I know something's troubling you."

"Chief McConnicke stopped by this morning to congratulate me."

"That's a good thing." He didn't answer. "Right?"

"I'll explain later, I can't get into it right now. But yes, it was good. Look, honey, I need some help. I'm about to tell the guys I passed the test and I just don't know what to say."

"I kinda figured that's what was going on. I don't know if there's anything I can help you with. Just don't worry about how it comes out. They all will understand."

"This is a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"I know. I can hear it in your voice. They already know that you took the exam, so just tell them that you passed it."

…..

"Hank?"

…..

"HANK?"

"Ummm…yes, I know. It's just…I've played out this scene so many times in my head. You know, what I'd do, what I'd say. How I'd say it and when we'd talk. I just don't know what to do."

"Yes you do."

"Huh?"

"You do know what to do. It will come to you. Even if it comes out roughly or patchy. Even if you stumble over yourself. They'll understand. And you will say what you need to say."

"Thanks Em. Uh, listen. I have to go. If I don't get out of this dorm soon, they'll think they need to come rescue me."

"Okay, sweetie. We'll talk when you get home. I love you."

"I love you too."

He listened to the line cut off as she hung up the phone.

Emily, I love you. Sometimes just hearing your voice is all I need.

He walked into the latrine one last time. Grabbing his duffel from the bench, he stood before the mirror. The purple bags were still hanging, but it looked more like a shadow then actual bags, so he was satisfied with his appearance. His heart fluttered with every step, trying to break free from the cage within his ribs. The lump in his throat doubled. His head began to spin and his breathing quickened, each step multiplying the effects.

Hank, these are your friends. They won't hate you. They won't feel betrayed by you. They'll support you in whatever you choose.

He stepped into the room, placing his bag on the floor. Six pairs of eyes locked onto him.

Even Henry the hound knows that something's up.

He sat at his customary spot around the table.

Inhale. Hold…Exhale.

"Thanks for sticking around. It means a lot to me."

The words still wouldn't come to him, so he allowed the silence to speak as he tried to pull together his thoughts. The others didn't speak, sensing the turmoil Hank was feeling.

"As you all know, I took the Chief's exam a few weeks ago. I got the results back. I wanted to tell you all at the same time—it wouldn't be fair if I didn't."

It was nearly impossible to make eye-contact, but he forced himself to look each friend straight on, showing them the complex emotional battle he was facing.

"I am absolutely thrilled to say that I passed!" He smiled a genuine smile and was filled with temporary elation.

"Congratulations!" Voices rang out, excited to hear of their Captain's accomplishment.

"We never doubted you." Chet added.

"Thanks boys. That really means a lot to me. I know it's been rough for you all. I complained a lot when studying and perhaps was a bit more uptight than usual."

"No worries Cap! It's a tough exam." Mike encouraged.

"That's for sure, Mike." Hank agreed.

"Do you know how you placed on the list?" Chet couldn't contain his curiosity.

"I placed first."

Cheers erupted and Hank was surrounded by his friends patting his back and offering handshakes.

"That's incredible Cap!" Marco applauded.

"Yeah, and I thought that Roy hit the mark when he placed ninth." John joked.

"I know. I didn't expect that result, but there it was, clear as day written in the letter. First."

The congratulatory remarks and handshakes kept up for a minute longer, each thoroughly proud and thrilled for Hank. But, as the news settled, the temporary elation clouding the air dispersed into clarity. As the cheers and laughter calmed, tense anticipation leaned on their hearts. Hank saw the question written in all their eyes.

"I'm so happy about taking the exam and getting on the list. I never expected to be first. I really didn't."

Though he tried to ignore it, the question was still written plainly in the eyes of his friends. He knew he couldn't bring it up.

I'd have to lie to them.

As he watched them, all their eyes shifted to Roy, typically the most level-headed of the brood. Some unspoken agreement, a previously made arrangement, now coming to pass.

"Have you heard anything?" Roy tentatively asked.

It felt like the room was about to flashover and there was no way to escape the fire.

"There are several chiefs who are considering retirement or other various changes to their position. I'm sure you all know about Chief Dunn in Battalion 16."

"But Cap! He's been planning his retirement for years! He always says 'this is the year,' but he never retires." Chet spoke up.

"True. I guess we never know what may come down the pike."

"What would you do if you got an offer?"

The soft brown eyes were sincere, yet longing for an answer. In his heart, he knew what Mike was really asking.

"Basically, department regulations state that at least a fourteen-day notice must be given before an officer steps down from a position. Whoever assumes that position has up to two weeks after the position becomes vacant to take it. So, basically if someone put in their notice today, I would have four weeks to take the spot."

Emphasizing the word four, he stole a look at Mike, his right-hand man, his sounding board. Expertly withholding emotion from his face, Mike gave the slightest of nods, one so subtle that Hank couldn't be sure he'd even nodded. Yet, he was sure.

Yes, Mike knows what I'm saying.

Roy fidgeted in his seat.

Roy knows too.

"If a position came up but I declined the offer, then the next person in line gets the offer, and so on and so forth. The next position to open up would get offered to me first, then if I declined again, it would go down the list until someone took it."

"It seems like they take a really long time to fill those spots." Chet remarked.

"Yes and no. It seems like it would take a long time, but there's always someone willing to take a promotion. The joy of being a little further down the list is you can sit back and watch how things are unfolding."

"I guess that makes sense."

"LA Engine 51, available. Returning to quarters." Captain Hookraider's voice thundered through the radio.

"Well, I didn't want to keep any of you longer than necessary on your day-off, but I think this is our cue to clear out before Hook gets back." Hank said.

"You mean you really don't like him either?" Chet was astonished.

Hank had always kept his feelings to the side, and when the man had almost retired a few months prior, he'd stayed clear of the antics that some of the other men at Station 51 had played into.

"Professionally, he's remarkable. Personally, I'd rather talk to a doorknob."

And that made everyone laugh, momentarily alleviating the heaviness that this new reality had brought to the room.

"Okay, so I'll see you all back here bright and early Friday morning. Right?" He eyed each man confidently.

"Yes, Sir!" Five voices cried.

"Alright, then let's go home!"

As they stepped away from the table, heading to the door, Hank called out to Mike.

"Hey Mike! I think you left your book on the table in the dorm."

Confused, Mike looked at him. Seeing a silent plea on his raised eyebrow, he played along.

"Thanks Cap! I keep forgetting to bring that with me. I'll catch up with the you all on Friday."

"Okay."

"Bye Mike!"

And they waved at him as he made for the dorm, not knowing why Hank was sending him there.

"Any plans for tomorrow?" Marco asked Chet as they headed toward their cars. Johnny chased after them.

Roy dawdled a moment, watching his friends discuss plans for their day-off.

"I guess I will see you on Friday, Cap!"

"Goodbye Roy."

And then there was one. Hank Stanley. Alone in the large room, he took in his surroundings.

For all the time I've spent here, I've never actually paid attention to what it looks like.

The windows lining the far wall, overlooking the driveway, were opened wide. A summer breeze poured in, the curtains fluttered in its breath. A car drove past.

Marco. Must be anxious to get home for one of Mama Lopez's famous brunches.

He admired the passion Marco had for his family, the unconditional love and respect he held.

Next, a white Rover passed, closely followed by Chet's beat up mini-camper. Noting how they were both turning right, Hank surmised that the guys must have agreed to catch brunch.

He stood, alone, a minute longer, finally seeing Roy's sports car buzz past.

I'll bet he wants to get home to JoAnne and the kids.

The only other family-man on shift, Hank and Roy had a special connection that the others didn't understand.

Only Mike was left, somewhere in the station.

I hope he understands.

His gaze shifting towards the tv in the corner, Hank smiled as he remembered the time John and Chet tried to fix their old set, ultimately frying the tubes. Johnny graciously donated his tv to the station.

I never thanked him.

He kept shifting his eyes along the wall, until he got to the door.

Mike.

Their eyes met.

"Cap?" He held up the book.

"Stoker?" He played nonchalant.

"But it's your manual. Your captain's handbook."

Hank smiled.

"You will need it more than I."

Before the second hand on the wall clock could tick to the next second, Mike's question was answered.

"Thank you, Sir." He saluted his superior.

Hank returned the salute before approaching him slowly to extend a hand. Mike reached, accepting the offer. As Mike let go and turned to leave, Hank spoke once more.

"You are planning on taking the captain's exam."

It wasn't a question. Mike knew it.

"Yes."

"Good."

An unspoken exchange passed between them and Hank knew that all was well with his engineer. The fears he'd had earlier than morning, and the previous day, were laid to rest.

"So, I am expecting you to bring your questions to me next shift, bright and early, so that we can go over them. The exam is in two weeks and we need to get you prepared."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Author's Note:

Thank you for continuing to read my story. I'm definitely no expert in how fire departments work, so I've taken a lot of liberties in that regard.

This story has taken several unexpected turns (too many ideas) and there are many loose ends. Even still, thank you for reading. It means a lot to me.

I'll "see" you when I post the next chapter. :)