Hi! Sorry for late update. I've been on vacation and working so there was no time for writing up until now. As always I'm so grateful for all your reviews, they mean the world.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was kind of hard to write because of the complexity of emotions I wanted to include. Let me know if they are at least clearish.
When she woke up she was alone. Sasuke was nowhere to be seen which oddly didn't make her feel weird or anything. She woke up with only one thing on her mind. Neji. She's been in Konoha for a few days now and she felt the need to visit his grave, visit her cousin. So she got up and got ready to leave. She looked into the mirror for a brief moment and saw herself in it. There was no sign of any emotion in her eyes and she knew for sure that if Sasuke saw her now he would not be happy about it. But it was her way of dealing with this situation. Hiding her emotions was easier than letting them take over. She was once again feeling sick of being back in Konoha. Walls of the bathroom suddenly started to close on her and everything was spinning but she stood still and felt steady.
She breathed in and out three times before she went outside. The way to the cemetery was quite long but it somehow lasted only a second to her. She didn't remember who she's passed on the way there. It looked exactly the same. White stones were standing out in the green of the grass. There were so many names, so many dead bodies underneath. She was there for the first time in over a year but she could walk the way blindfolded. When she got to the gravestone she felt that her heart was as heavy as the stone it was made out of. She looked at Neji's name written on it. It was blurry and that's when she realized she was crying. She sat down on the grass and touched the stone. Even though it was in sun it's temperature was really low. She closed her eyes and her cousins image popped right into her brain. Luckily it was a pleasant one. He wasn't exactly smiling but she knew he was happy. It was the memory from the time when he's came back from one of the missions and they have been just sitting together and enjoying light morning breeze on top of the Hokage Mountain. It'd been way before the war and everything had been easy or manageable. They'd just passed the chuunin exam. She smiled at the memory and opened her eyes. The tears were gone now and she felt more at ease.
„I miss you Neji-nii-san. So much changed since you've been gone yet I still can't believe that you're not here. I don't know what you'd say if you saw me with Sasuke. I hope you'd approve." She once again almost cried. She wanted him to meet Sasuke now. „He's so much different than everybody thinks. He makes me happy, he's really the only person that is able to do that" she went silent for a moment to appreciate the sincerity of this statement. „I'm so glad I've met him." The fact that there was no answer coming made her feel hollow again but saying all these things towards Neji also made a difference.
When Sasuke came back from his morning training session and saw that she was gone he panicked for a second but he quickly gathered himself. There wasn't enough calmness in him not to scan the whole city for her chakra. When he found it he exhaled and went straight in this direction. It was only when he reached the cemenntary that he realized what she was doing and instantly felt bad for coming there. He didn't want to interrupt her so be just stood by the gate and stared at her. She was only a small figure from where he was standing. He didn't know wether he should go to her, stay where he was or just go back home. On one hand she didn't ask him to come, hell, she went when he was away. But on the other he was with her, they were living together and he should be there for her. He knew that she was now in a fragile state and probably had this look on her face he hated and it all made him step onto the grounds of the graveyard. He tried to walk slowly and without any sound. She was talking and didn't pay attention to anything else so she didn't see him coming and he still didn't feel comfortable enough to let her know that he was there but listening to her talking when she was sure she was alone was simply wrong. So he cleared his throat. She almost jumped when he did it but when she turned her head towards him she smiled.
„Hello" she said and was surprised at the peaceful tone of her own voice. It was almost unreal for it to be this way taking into consideration the place she was at but somehow it didn't alarm her.
„Hi" he sat down next to her. It was odd for him so his moves were kind of stiff. There he was with his girlfriend who was living with him at her cousin's grave. He felt uneasy and out of place. It was her personal space. It was her relationship and he had no part in it. But when she reached out for his hand he somehow felt included in this situation. There still was a part of him that felt that he didn't belong there but feeling her soft and warm skin on his gave him a sense of permission.
„I had to come here by myself" she said in a half tone answering the question he didn't dare ask. „But I'm glad you're here" and she was. Being there on her own had it's positive aspects, for example she didn't feel weird talking to a stone but having him here made her feel reconnected to the world of the present. It was far too easy for her to forget about everything and everybody outside of the graveyard.
„How are you?" He asked. This question weighed on him and letting it escape his mouth didn't relieve tension.
„I don't know really. It's as hard as ever. Life going on and him not being there to witness it and get involved makes me feel horridly. Talking does help but only for a while, as soon as I realize I'm talking to a name engraved in a white stone my mood drops. But it's different being here now than it was a year ago. I don't feel alone now." She looked at him and smiled with only half of her lips. „I guess I have you to thank for that."
„No need" he ran his fingers across her knuckles. „I don't think he would like me with you to be honest" she laughed softly.
„He wouldn't like anybody with me at first" he has been overprotective of her and she's loved and hated it at the same time. „But he would be open to getting to know you. I'm sure of that" It would've been hell at first but she knew Neji had changed and would have given Sasuke a chance after all. He was more like a brother to her than a cousin. And he's understood change in people more than most.
When a blow of the wind ran cross the field and moved leaves her har flown with it. He was looking at her and felt warmth. He knew she was grieving still and he knew she probably would be grieving for a long time but at this moment he fell in love with her on a different level. He fell in love with the softness of her suffering. He wanted it to be gone but there was no way of getting rid of it quickly. The thing he loved about this moment was the inclusion he felt. She wasn't shielded from the world, form him. She's let him into her misery and sorrow. It was a big step from the hollow look on her face that she kept for so long when it came to this sensitive issue. She let him in. He didn't feel overwhelmed by this although there was a brief moment of self-doubt questioning his ability to deal with these emotions but he quickly realized he didn't have to be an expert on grieving to be there for her. He didn't even notice that she was looking straight into his eyes now.
„What are you thinking?" She asked and tilted her head.
„Us." He answered without getting into detail about it. And he didn't have to because something else caught their attention it that same moment. Someone was approaching them. When he saw who it was he sighted. He didn't have strength in him to deal with Hiashi Hyuga right now but there he was. Hinata quickly stood up and he followed soon after.
„Hello, father" Hinata said and slightly bowed her head. She was still not eager to talk to her father after their last meeting but she wasn't going to ignore him. The clan head only nodded a welcome. Sasuke had to restrain himself not to say something rude about the way the older man behaved but he coped.
„I've heard you two are setting in the Uchiha district" he said when they were about to move and leave.
„Yes, father" she answered the exact same way she would have done it all these months ago, like nothing has changed.
„Sunflowers" he looked at the flowers she's brought. „He did like them"
„Yes" she said less stiffly. Sasuke didn't know that but this remark was almost like an apology coming from Hiashi. „They were his favorite"
„I'd like to come by once you two settle in completely" this remark caused Sasuke's brow to arch but he didn't say anything.
„We'll inform you when we will" she smiled and bowed slightly again. Sasuke followed her when she started walking towards the gates of the cemetery.
„What was that?" He asked once he was sure her father couldn't hear him.
„That was my family's way of reconciliation" she laughed. „Hyugas aren't the most effusive people out there, you know?" She grabbed his and.
„That was colder than ice" he remarked. „Uchihas are different. We fight and make up more fiercely" he remembered the rare fights his father and mother used to have. They have been up to each other's throats and the apologies were overly emotional as well. He stopped and laughed. „You know what?"
„What?" She was bewildered by his behavior.
„We somehow switched families with our attitudes. I'm much too cold for an Uchiha and you are warm, unlike any Hyuga." She smiled and shook her head slowly. He was right but the way he was laughing at it was not corresponding.
„Good mood, huh?" She hugged him from the side and they started walking again.
„Let's go eat something" he grinned. It was so unlike him that she almost stopped breathing. His smile was breathtaking but when he was ginning like he did now she was lightheaded instantly so she only nodded.
„I'm alright, Neji although I miss you and always will, I'm alright" she wanted this thought to reach Neji wherever he was. She wanted him to know that she was happy and okay at last. And that it was possible because and thanks to him. She wasn't suck in the past anymore but would always have her cousin in her heart.
