There weren't comments on last chapter, so I wonder if it was too confusing. Since it was a moment of inner confusion for Caroline as well, I feel like it had to be like that, but I'm back with more and hopefully it answers some questions.
Your kiss, my cheek
I watched you leave
Your smile, my ghost
I fell to my knees
When you're young, you just run
But you come back to what you need
This love left a permanent mark
This love is glowing in the dark,
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me.
Taylor Swift, "This Love"
14. THIS LOVE IS ALIVE BACK FROM THE DEAD
When Bonnie goes to find her grimoire, Caroline takes the step and drinks the blood. It's a big deal that Bonnie offers hers, especially from Stefan's point of view because he remembers how traumatic Caroline's transition to vampirism was the first time around. At least now she doesn't have to feel guilty about killing anyone or losing one of her closest friends.
"There's something else you should know." He says when it's just the two of them, deciding this is something he cannot keep from her. "There's a cure."
She stares at him, eyes wide open.
"How is this happening?" She mumbles, but he doesn't have time to explain further because both of them hear the main door open.
Her mom is back.
"Stefan?" Liz asks when she arrives home and finds them in Caroline's bedroom. He's just sitting by her side, but her hand searches his, locking fingers with him. "Caroline, what is going on? I got a call from the school saying you weren't there today."
"I was feeling sick in the morning. But Bonnie and Stefan came to take care of me, I'm much better now."
"Are you sure you're alright now? Why didn't you call me?"
"Well, I kind of expected you to come back home sometime during the day. But I get it, you're too busy. It's okay since I have good friends."
Stefan sighs.
"I'm staying with her a little longer, if you don't mind."
She glances at him, then at Caroline and back at him.
"Of course. Just leave the door open."
"What do you mean with 'the cure'?" Caroline jumps on him. "How do you even know about it? Silas' cure?"
He's startled by this sudden revelation, and his heart is almost bursting out of his chest with some inefable emotion.
"Caroline, what do you remember?"
"I remember Silas. You killed him, I think." She frowns. "It's so confusing. The memories of the times Damon compelled me are clear, but the rest… just the same things over and over again. It feels so… like another person." Her clear blue-green eyes look straight at him. "I'm cursed, Stefan. You know that too, don't you?"
No, that can't be. This is their chance to be happy, his chance to make everything right by her. How can she still be cursed?
Bonnie wasn't able to fix it last time. Neither could Hope Mikaelson or the twins. What was it that they wanted to do? Send her soul back to the start so she didn't have to be actually trapped in death. But it didn't work out, did it?
At the time, everyone thought so. However, it was hard to understand such complex magic.
He caresses her cheek and she closes her eyes, leaning into him.
"I'm sorry. This is all my fault. You should have never had to stay alone in the first place."
"This is not our first time, isn't it?"
It's ironic that everyone used to talk about the destiny he shared with Elena as doppelgängers, and now he is here with Caroline, reunited after all possibilities for this seemed forever severed in the first place.
Or maybe it makes sense, because he is Silas doppelgänger, and just like the hateful immortal, he's lived with regret for not doing enough to be with the person he's loved for so long. Maybe fate is shaped within the depths of their regrets.
He doesn't want to stay away from Caroline for even a second after what's happened today, but Stefan knows there are pressing matters at hand. So when Bonnie comes back, ready to work on the daylight ring, he goes to find his brother.
"I am going to kill a pack of wolves. Do you want to give me a hand?"
"Woah, wait there. What happened now that made you throw out your peace-making habits out of the window? I already took Mason down."
"Well, his friends paid Caroline a visit."
Damon frowns.
"Did they hurt her?"
"They killed her. She had my blood in her system."
"No way. You're telling me-"
"She's a vampire now."
"Shit. How the hell is that going to work when her mother is a vampire-hunter?"
"That's not what I'm discussing with you. Are you coming to hunt werewolves or not?"
Stefan knows he has to give something in return at this point, though. So he tells Damon a story about a time when he lived as the Ripper in the 20s, and befriended two siblings who were rumored to be the original vampires.
There's of course some truth and lies mixed in the story, such as the way he came to remember these encounters after being compelled by Klaus, or how he knows about the hybrid curse. But this is enough to explain his recent knowledge about things that were just impossible for Damon to understand any other way. This way, he's warned about Elena's role in the whole thing and hopefully it helps avoid some drama when Klaus eventually comes to confront Stefan in the near future.
"Let me see if I understand this right. We can kill the wolves, but we have to let the alpha bitch live, why?"
"To bargain." Stefan mutters, they are arriving at the wolf camp. The last time they attacked the wolves that had captured Caroline, Jules' men were prepared for it, but this time they are not expecting them.
Damon stares at him.
"I still can't understand how you've changed so much."
It's quite simple, actually. He can't stay the self-sacrificing brother his whole life. Caroline deserves better than that. And now he's terrified that the curse is still working and she might remember how much pain he caused her in the short time they were together.
When Stefan comes back to her it's almost midnight. He finds her at the porch of her house, sitting on the swinging bench like she's been waiting for him to show up.
"I remembered," she says "that Katherine turned me into a vampire last time around. It was so Klaus could use me in a ritual. Me, and Tyler, and Elena."
"Klaus isn't going to be a threat to us this time."
"You sound so sure of it."
He sits by her side.
"Can you trust me?"
She looks at him with those eyes that always speak of unbreakable faith. Caroline had always been the one who believed in him (more than he believed in himself, even), and suddenly realizing that he might lose all that now brings him an unbearable sadness.
"What am I to you, Stefan?"
"You are my reason to be alive. I love you, Caroline."
After all, if this is not a start-over, why try so hard to hide the depth of his feelings?
She smiles.
"I love you too."
His vision gets blurry maybe because he's about to cry.
"So please, just… stay."
Pressing his forehead to hers, he promises. "I'm not going anywhere."
