Here we go again...


"I wish you'd stayed."

"I wish I'd stayed too. Now I wish I'd stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I'd stayed. I do."

"What if you stayed this time?"

"I walked out the door. There's no memory left."

"Come back and make-up a goodbye at least. Let's pretend we had one."

— Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.


15. IN SATURN (LIVE THE CHILDREN WE NEVER HAD)

The thirst is a big problem now that Caroline doesn't have the excuse of recovering from a serious accident in order to skip school the first days following the transition. Again, Bonnie comes to help and asks Liz to let Caroline stay a few days at her house. Stefan thinks it is good for both of them, as Bonnie has probably been lonely living alone in her grandma's house now.

And at school, Caroline stays close to one of them all day, just in case. But as expected, it's a successful first day and no one gets hurt.

However, there's someone who makes it clear this situation is less than ideal.

"You turned her into a vampire. I don't even recognize you anymore."

Well, sometimes Stefan doesn't recognize Elena either. Right now, for example, he's losing his patience.

"And what did you want us to do, Elena? There wasn't any other option."

"She never had to be in a situation where some… werewolves would attack her in the first place."

"Elena, that's enough." Caroline says, coming with Bonnie from the cheerleaders' dressing room. "We already had this conversation this morning."

"The break is almost over, I think we should head back to the gym…" Bonnie intervenes, exchanging glances with Elena.

"I'll be with you in a minute!" Caroline waves her hand, smiling, and then turns at him. "She was in for a big surprise today, that's all. And Damon told her about the doppelgänger thing, so…" She shrugs, as if that explains everything.

"Do you want me to wait for you?"

She nods. "Bonnie and Elena are going to the Grill, and I don't think I'm ready yet. It's hard as it is right now."

"We could always leave now."

She shakes her head. "I'm going to live my life as normally as I can."

In this, she hasn't changed one bit.

He kisses her one last time before she follows the same direction in which her friends left minutes before.


This is the first time, in this lifetime, that both of them are in his bedroom at the boarding house.

"It's the same as ever." She sighs, a small, not-quite-happy smile appears on her face.

In the morning she was nervous but very much herself, and in just a few hours her demeanor has made a 180 degree turn. He's almost afraid of asking what she is thinking of now.

"Caroline, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just… these images keep coming. It's tiring. I think I have been living the same thing over and over again, but if that's true, then how can I ever break this curse?"

With her soul unable to leave her body, if for some reason Caroline dies, then she won't find peace and will just repeat the cycle over and over again. Is that how it works?

How do you break a curse that technically hasn't even been casted yet? Who could give them the answers they need? If old Bonnie who had a whole life of experience with her magic couldn't find a solution, then seventeen year old Bonnie doesn't have a better chance to succeed. And this isn't something you can just casually reveal to other people. It would make the situation worse.

"We have time," he tells her. As long as they are not humans. No, what if being human again is the answer? "Maybe if you take the cure."

"It won't help." She smiles. "At best, we could live long, happy human lives. Last time it was like that. Then it would start again."

His first emotion upon the possibility of Caroline remembering their life together was joy and relief because he wouldn't have to lie to her any longer, soon followed by fear of being rejected by her. It's only when he listens to her discouraging words (so unlike her nature) that he starts to understand the horrific consequences of this magic.

She seems different now because, in the span of hours, she's aged years, decades, perhaps even more than that.

"What was it like?" He needs to know what she has been through, even if the answer only adds to his sins.

"I took the cure. You too. It was a happy life." She smiles, "The kids grew up well. I wish I had stayed there a little bit longer."

Someone announcing his presence downstairs breaks the deafening silence that's filling up the room. It's not Damon, and it's definitely not any of their human friends.

"Did you expect a visit?" She whispers.

He shakes his head, but vamps towards the first floor. He's not really surprised to see Klaus there.

"Well, but if it isn't my old friend, Stefan Salvatore." Klaus smirks, and in an instant is holding him up against the chimney. "How did you break the compulsion?"

"Died and came back to life. A long story."

"We have time."

"Isn't the important part that I know all about the traps that your mother set for you if you try to break the curse on your own?"

"You will tell me now. How do you die and come back from the dead knowing things you shouldn't know?"

"There's a lot of whispering on the Other Side."

Stefan knew that Klaus would come and try to compel him as soon as Elijah told him about their encounter. That was also why he started ingesting some vervain before meeting with the original.

"Is this what you meant by Klaus not being a threat to us? Because it sure doesn't look like it." Caroline is staring at them, not impressed at all.

Klaus' grip on him loosens. "And you are?"

"His girlfriend. So can you please take your hands off him?"

"You sure have a lot of nerve for a newborn."

Stefan can see what's going on here, and he doesn't like it one bit.

"Here's the thing. We help you get the help of the Petrova doppelgänger, but in turn you have to find a way to keep her alive. You need her blood if you are going to make hybrids. So if you kill her, you can forget about all your plans."

He looks at Caroline, and he knows that she's also thinking that Elena isn't the only human doppelgänger around. But no matter how far he is willing to go this time, he still doesn't want to involve more innocent people. Elena, on the other hand, is already a target, so all they can do is try to save her.

Klaus frowns, and paces around them. "Katerina would have offered me the vampire and the werewolf I needed, too."

"You can go and find your vampire elsewhere, not here in Mystic Falls. But we have a werewolf for you."

Caroline turns to look at him with shock written all over her face.

It's a light punishment for Jules, to end up in the same way as in the past. Perhaps she is in more pain as she will expect it everyday she's trapped in the tomb, knowing the future that awaits her, but it is still nothing compared to what his worst instincts told Stefan to do.

"My brother seems to think I have to free my siblings, too."

"That's up to you. But do you think Elijah will give up knowing they are still alive?"

Klaus glances at Caroline. "I don't think my sister will be happy when she hears the news about you. Do you know your Stefan has a type?"

She raises an eyebrow.

"So?"

Okay. Caroline clearly feels the familiarity of someone who's been close to Klaus one too many times, probably, but she is still a stranger to him so perhaps it's better not to push his limits. Stefan clears his throat and intervenes.

"We could be allies, or we could be enemies. I think we both know things will be easier if we're on the same side. What do you say?"

Klaus doesn't trust him, and Stefan doesn't expect him to. But for the moment, they have a truce.


Apparently the anxiety of seeing Klaus in his less amicable days has left Caroline in need of another blood bag, because she heads straight to Damon's freezer and picks one to heat it in the microwave.

"He's going to complain about this, you know."

She shrugs. "I couldn't care less. No matter how many times I've lived, your brother is always a jerk and I hate him. I'll hate him less when he starts making up for his mistakes."

But she offers him the mug.

"God, we're now making deals with the currently twisted Klaus Mikaelson. What's next?"

"Caroline."

"What?"

"The thing you said before…" It was a happy life. The kids grew up well. "Tell me more."

About the kind of life they could have had, if only he hadn't been an idiot who thought dying was the best way to atone for his mistakes.

Back then facing life was more difficult. Someone as strong as Caroline would choose living over and over again. But him? He was only learning it after so long, just how much he gave up when he kissed his wife for the last time.

"There's no point. We would only be unhappy thinking about them." And yet he knows she wont stop torturing herself with those memories either.

That's why she won't stay the night. She kisses him and makes up some half-hearted excuse about needing to be back at Bonnie's for dinner, and all Stefan can think about is that other life he knows nothing about.