:):
Thank you again for leaving me a review, undershield, and you are very clever. It will be quite a while before Frisk is actually introduced into this story. I hope that doesn't put a damper on anyone's enthusiasm when reading it.
As I promised, this tale will be a slow burn.
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Winners Don't Cry
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On the fifth day trapped in the Ruins, Fearia had been jerked out of her slumber by a dream. It wasn't a scary dream but the emotional impact had startled her awake and drove home the urgency of her situation. Frisk. She had dreamed of her dear eldest sister. In this dream, Frisk had been dressed in ceremonial wedding clothes. The look on her face was heartbreaking. It was a look of defeated acceptance. What had really woken Fearia up however was when Frisk had lifted her hands and signed *Where are you?*
Hot tears rolled down the little girl's round cheeks as she threw the orange covers off. Sitting up, she held back a distressed whimper as she tried to calm herself. What had she been doing? Nearly a week had slipped by and she wasn't any closer to rescuing her sister. In fact, she might actually be further away now that she was trapped here!
Chewing on her bottom lip, Fearia balled her bed sheets into her fists. She really liked her new Mom. She was the best Mom ever! But, she knew she couldn't stay in the Ruins for even one more day. Too much time has been wasted. She needed to leave here, find something to show as proof of her bravery, then find her way out so she could save Frisk. Those were always her priorities, and she shouldn't have needed a dream to remind her.
Slipping out of bed, Fearia put her new clothes back on since her old clothes had mysteriously disappeared. Once dressed, she departed her new room and went in search of her new Mom.
"Up already, I see?" Toriel asked from where she sat in her comfortable chair next to the fireplace. She had been reading a book titled '72 Uses for Snails' but when she saw her small child, she had placed the book in her lap. The look on Fearia's face was sad as she walked up to her, unusually sedated for someone who was a natural early bird.
Anxious worry began to rise in Toriel's chest. She knew this look. "Um, I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here." She said, trying to hide her nervous energy. "There are so many old books I want to share. Have you been bug-hunting before? Maybe later, I could show you my favorite bug-hunting spot."
Fearia merely shrugged as her amber eyes wandered to the steady flames in the fireplace.
Toriel felt her stomach tense up a bit. This wasn't good. This wasn't how her little girl should be. Where was her excitement? Where was her smile?
"I've also prepared a curriculum for your education." This got a reaction from the child. A sudden flinch, before she snapped her attention back towards the kind goat lady, a look of undisguised distress upon hearing such a thing. "This may come as a surprise to you... But I have always wanted to be a teacher." Pausing, Toriel gave a small chuckle. "...actually, perhaps that isn't very surprising..."
"Still." The goat lady smiled. "I am glad to have you living here."
"I like living here too." Fearia admitted grimly. "But I can't stay."
"Um...!" Toriel looked around nervously. She didn't hear that. It must have been her imagination. "How about an exciting snail fact? Did you know that snails sometimes flip their digestive systems as they mature? Isn't that interesting?"
Fearia frowned slightly. She wouldn't be ignored. "I need to find a way back to the surface. That way I can-"
"I have to do something." Toriel said abruptly, interrupting the small child. Standing up, she placed her book on the seat of the chair, then gave the human's head a small pat. "Stay here..." With that said, she rushed off down the hall.
Fearia felt a chill of dread run down her spine and she quickly followed. The goat lady had gone downstairs. That must be the exit! It was really the only place it could be. Descending the stairs as quickly as she could, Fearia stepped into a darkened hallway. Up ahead she spotted her motherly caretaker.
Hearing the child approach as she knew she would, Toriel sighed sadly. "You wish to know how to return "home," do you not?" She frowned bitterly. "Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins. A one-way exit to the rest of the Underground. I am going to destroy it. No one will ever be able to leave again."
"W-what?" Fearia asked in disbelief. She was kidding, right?
"Now be a good child and go upstairs." Toriel instructed as she proceeded down the hallway towards the one and only exit.
"Wait!" Fearia exclaimed in alarm. "You can't!"
The kindly goat monster glowered slightly as the little girl once again caught up to her, defying her orders to go back upstairs. Such a foolish willful child. "Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again. They come. They leave. They die." Turning, she gave Fearia a look full of grief and misdirected anger. "You naive child... If you leave the Ruins... They... Asgore... Will kill you." Turning back, she began walking again. "I am only protecting you, do you understand? ...go to your room."
Ignoring her new mom once more, Fearia refused to give up as she trailed along behind her. "Please, wait?"
"Do not try to stop me." Toriel said quietly. "This is your final warning."
They both reached the end of the hallway, where the walls expanded into a small room and a large purple door loomed in front of them. The same symbol etched into the stone door that could be found everywhere in the Ruins was clearly visible.
"You want to leave so badly?" Toriel asked icily. "Hmph. You are just like the others." Steeling herself, she continued. "There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself..."
"Huh?" Fearia was taken aback.
"Prove to me you are strong enough to survive." Toriel demanded as she blocked the way to the exit.
Despite the bizarre turn of events, Fearia couldn't stop the grin that spread across her face as her golden heart appeared before her chest. This was to be a test of strength? She couldn't turn down the chance to prove herself. This would be much more fun than wasting another day wandering aimlessly in the Ruins. Her hands were empty since she had once again left all her stuff behind but that was okay. Besides, all she really had was a toy knife. What could that do? Fearia would never brandish a knife -not even a toy knife- at her new Mom. So, how could she prove her strength?
To answer her unspoken question, a fireball was halfheartedly lobbed in her direction. This was kind of one-sided! Dodging another ball of flame, Fearia gasped as three more flew over her head. Was Goat Mom serious?!
"What are you doing?" Toriel asked unimpressed as she watched the little girl bob and weave around the fiery projectiles. Was the child even trying? She flinched involuntarily as one of her fireballs glanced off the child's side, singeing her clothing slightly. "Attack or run away!" She hoped the child would flee...
The human didn't run. She had no intention to either. Taking a deep breath, Toriel aimed a little higher on purpose to let the child catch her breath for a moment. "What are you trying to prove this way?" She asked sulkily, looking through the little girl.
The deadly dance resumed for a few more minutes, with the child doing nothing but dodging out of the way. Never once did she attempt to rush Toriel or slip past her to the exit. She merely endured. Why? What was even the point of this?
"Fight or leave!" Toriel snapped, getting frustrated with the child. Why wouldn't she attack? Didn't she want to leave the Ruins? Didn't she want to go home? Then why? Why was she just trying to avoid the fire magic? That was no way to fight. In a serious battle, this child would already be dead. Anger arose inside Toriel, and with a momentary slip of control, she had lobbed a well aimed fireball directly at the small human.
It hit its mark easily.
Fearia felt the air leave her lungs and her feet leave the floor as the ball of fire struck her squarely in the chest. Landing hard, she rolled a few feet before coming to a stop, stunned.
Toriel stared in disbelief for a moment before her heart simply broke. She'd killed her! She'd killed the sweet human child. The little girl that had lived with her and kept her company for the past week with her bright smile and endless curiosity. How could she have done this?! She knew how fragile children were. Was she really no better than Asgore? Lost in her own inner turmoil, Toriel missed the small cough. More soon followed, however, as the child wheezed painfully.
Rushing over, Toriel fell to her knees and scooped the child up. "I'm so sorry, young one..." She cried, cradling the injured human.
"No..." Fearia shook her head and gave a weak chuckle. "It was a really good shot."
Shaking, Toriel held the little girl closer, nearly squashing her into her purple robes. "I have no right to even ask for it but... please... Please forgive this foolish woman. What I... what I almost did... it's beyond forgiveness."
Startled, Fearia looked up to see her caretaker was actually crying. Tears were soaking her white fur and her face was scrunched in pain. Why was she crying? She had won the fight. Winners didn't cry over a victory. With a little difficulty, the girl tugged her arm free and lifted a small hand to the goat monster's face. "Don't cry, Mom."
Toriel flinched at the touch but the name she had just been called made her feel even worse. Pulling back a little, she looked down at the little girl in hurt confusion. "How could you call me that? That is the last thing I deserve. Don't you hate me?"
"Mm mm!" Fearia rejected the notion quickly, shaking her head. "I've never had a Mom before." She revealed. "How could I hate you? You've been nothing but kind to me."
"But I hurt you..." Toriel argued stubbornly. She could not accept this act of mercy the child was trying to provide to her. She didn't deserve it.
Even though her chest ached and stung, Fearia forced herself to sit up. Once she had, she grinned up at the goat lady. "That was just a test to prove myself, wasn't it? You only did that because you're worried about me. You wanted to make sure I was strong enough to survive on my own. That's what any mom would do, right?"
Wrong. That isn't what any mom would have done. That's only what a scared former mother who was afraid of losing yet another child would do. Toriel sighed deeply. This child's perspective on what a proper parent should be was troubling at best but she knew she was in no position to inform her otherwise. She was in no position to care for her any longer either. That privilege was lost the moment she had lost control of herself.
She had wanted to convince the little girl to come back home with her. They could have lived together; been a family. But even as she thought this, Toriel knew. Nothing she could have provided this child would have ever been enough. The Ruins were too small for such a curious and energetic youth. She would have been completely unhappy being trapped down here with just an old lady to talk to. It would not have been right for a child to grow up in a place like this. Toriel's expectations... her loneliness... her fears... For this precious child, she would have to set them all aside.
"Pathetic, is it not?" Toriel said sadly. "I cannot save even a single child." The little girl gave her a look of concern but she ignored it as she avoided eye contact with the human. Gently setting the child down, Toriel got back to her feet and turned away, still refusing to look at her.
"Mom...?" Fearia asked worriedly.
"Fearia." Toriel began, her emotions carefully contained now. "I know you have something important to do. You want to save your sister, do you not?" She nodded her head slowly, answering the question herself. "If that is what you truly wish... then I will not stop you. However, when you leave..." The kind goat lady held back her tears. "Please do not come back. I hope you understand."
Walking away, she finally turned to look at the small human child she had come to love. With a pained expression, she gave a small smile. "Goodbye, my child."
...
Shocked, Fearia had just stood there in silence for a few minutes. The ornate door that led to the exit to the Ruins loomed behind her, unopened. Her short auburn hair was a mess and her clothes were singed here and there. The new shirt that had been given to her was blackened in the front from the last attack and it smelled a little strange now. Despite the few light burns she had acquired and the darkening bruise forming on her chest, the little girl, for the most part, was not really too injured.
She was still hurt though...
Tears slowly came to her eyes as she unconsciously sniffled. Had she done something wrong? Did the kind goat lady not like her anymore? Did she really not want to ever see her again? She couldn't understand where it all went wrong. Why had Toriel been so upset to win the battle? It didn't make any sense! Every time she sparred with her older brothers, the winners, which usually she was not, were allowed to gloat and cheer. Never cry. Whenever she lost against her father, he would always tell her to toughen up and stop being so weak. That was normal! So, why had this been so different? Why had Toriel been so unhappy with her?!
Fearia had entertained the idea of tracking the goat lady down and apologizing, but for only a moment. Toriel had been right, she did have something important to do. For the sake of her dear big sister, the little girl had turned around and left this part of her story behind her, locked tightly behind a heavy stone door.
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I feel the temperature dropping. Is it going to snow?
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Thanks for reading.
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More's on the way!
Sheii Bae
