This was long overdue. I am sorry for keeping people waiting on an update. I have not abandoned this story, I am just going through a difficult time in my life, which makes it very difficult for me to write romance.
But I do not want to leave this work unfinished because it is kind of a continuation of the previous fic and it kind of ruins that happy ending.
Hopefully you like this chapter and I have not lost completely my ability to write these characters. Do let me know if you think I should continue.
I remember it now, it takes me back to when it all first started
But I've only got myself to blame for it, and I accept it now
It's time to let it go, go out and start again
But it's not that easy
And in my dreams, I meet the ghosts
Of all the people who have come and gone
Memories, they seem to show up so quick
But they leave you far too soon
Naïve I was just staring at the barrel of a gun
And I do believe that.
"High Hopes", Kodaline.
25. THIS OLD CURSE. 3
Waking up after being shot, Stefan already knows it is all wrong, and it is not just the memories of the times Katherine compelled him and the uncomfortable need growing inside of him, burning in his throat, that feels more familiar than it should be.
But then he accidentally kills his father, and drinks his blood, and the memories start rushing back to him (the things he will do, or would do, if he walks down this path).
It sobers him and stops him from killing the servant girl that walks into the room. Or maybe he was going to compel her and share with his brother. He is not sure anymore.
All he can see are the hundreds of people he'd kill, and all the others he would be responsible for through Damon (because it is only his fault if his brother becomes a vampire). The faces of all those from Mystic Falls who would come to live better lives without them around.
In his future there is only death, blood, destruction, and pain. Someone like him does not deserve to live, and perhaps he is having this little glimpse of the future so that some of that calamity can be avoided.
There is the voice of the monster within him that whispers in his head, how he should turn it off and then it will be easier, the guilt will be gone.
Now he is a vampire, and he does not need to feel all these emotions anymore.
So why doesn't he just turn it off?
He can't.
Everyone will be better without the ripper, and he was meant to die when his father shot him anyway, as much as it pains and angers him to admit this truth.
As he waits on the rooftop for the first rays of sun to appear, however, he is reminded of blonde curls and a sweet sounding laughter.
There is Caroline, somewhere in the distant future, but whoever she was, or would be in his life, Stefan just knows she deserves so much better than him.
"Where is Damon?"
He still knows to be worried about his brother's new disappearance act. It is not supposed to be like this. Damon is supposed to be living the life of his dreams with Elena, isn't he?
And Elena looks like she is reluctant to say a word against her boyfriend, pursing her lips and whispering something about going for some blood bags as this crazy situation requires.
"He is being unreasonable as always." Bonnie says. "But this is more important than Damon's whereabouts. Stefan, explain to me why the spirits of dead witches are haunting me to get you killed for good."
Caroline coughs and fidgets next to him. "I am so sorry you got a scare like that, Bonnie."
They were coming back home even before Bonnie finished explaining what happened to her. For a moment, Stefan had worried she, too, had been linked to the curse, but apparently it wasn't the case (at least, not in the same way he was). Bonnie does not remember Qetsiyah, but the Qetsiyah on the Other Side clearly remembers Bonnie, as she is just another one of the many spirits harassing their friend now.
Explaining what the Other Side was to the girls already took most of the ride back to the Boarding House.
"It is a long story, so maybe we should sit down."
Bonnie's stare moves from him to Caroline, and then to her intertwined hands, just to drop her jaw.
"Oh my god. You did not. Tell me you didn't."
"What is it now?" Elena asks, coming back with another bag in her hand and passing it to Caroline.
"They got married."
When Bonnie says it, it really sounds like an accusation. His eyes fall on Caroline, who is biting her lips nervously and looks apologetic.
"Seriously " Somehow, Elena looks less shocked than Bonnie, but she throws Stefan a look that makes him feel a bit guilty. "Couldn't you at least have waited a couple of years? And Caroline, this does not sound like you at all. You always dreamed of a princess-like party. How did he convince you?"
"It is complicated."
"Enough of secrets." Bonnie sits down and they all follow her. "Explain yourselves."
"For a long time, I tried to find a way to avoid the merge from happening. Even if for all we knew, Josie and Lizzie were the only remaining members of the coven, what if someone else had survived? That had been the whole point of the Gemini coven to transfer the babies…" She shivers as she remembers what happened that horrible night on Jo and Alaric's wedding.
There was, in fact, a family in Portland that had adopted a child, who was around the same age as the twins, just a little bit older. But Caroline only knew for sure he was part of the Gemini coven after Hope turned Lizzie into a vampire, effectively removing herself from the merge.
The boy died when Josie turned twenty two.
And then…
Caroline frowns, and Stefan leans in, worried because bringing back these buried memories seems to be hurting her.
"You don't need to do this now."
"Yes, I do. Everything started because of that."
"Because of this gemini witch?"
Caroline shakes her head.
The real problem started when that kid's lover, a witch named Gaia, became obsessed with bringing him to life, and looked for a spell that was supposed to accomplish just that. Bring someone, anyone, from either Hell or Peace. Caroline knew it could not be true, but desperate people could do anything driven by their grief (she would have done the same when she was still in her twenties). Something like that could only be a trap, and of course it was, Freya confirmed it herself.
It was a trap designed by enemies of the Mikaelson family for Hope, who was willing to do anything to bring Klaus back, but the young woman refused to accept it.
So Caroline destroyed the book with the spell.
And later Gaia got her revenge by cursing her in the most cruel way someone could imagine.
"Your daughters and Hope tried to fix it and they made it worse without knowing."
"I guess they wanted me to have a chance to redo everything and live a happy life. No one could have known this curse was so strong."
"This ancestor, Qetsiyah, told me your curse morphed when your soul went back the first time, and it is bound to your regrets in life. So as long as you have something you wish you had done differently…
"... We go back again and again."
Something like a life without regrets is unattainable for people like them. Which means this curse is everlasting.
"Well, we have to find a way to break it. If every dead vampire, witch, or supernatural being on the Other Side remembers what happens in these loops, then there is no way to know when an enemy will come back and harm our friends." Elena points out, and she is right, but can they really trust Qetsiyah?
Stefan knows he can't.
"Well, Qetsiyah wasn't exactly a friend either."
"Yeah, remember, she created the Other Side just out of spite to trap the man who cheated on her."
"But after everything you two have told us, I think we need to consider this warning." Bonnie clenches her fists, obviously as distraught as they are. "Maybe she has changed her mind after living something time after time, just like it has changed you."
"It is going to be different this time. You will have our support." Elena stands up and tries to lighten the mood, and it is weird that she has been so lighthearted recently. "But first, Caroline, you have a lot to tell us and I think it is time for a girls night."
It doesn't look like Caroline opposes the idea, and they are both upstairs before Bonnie has the chance to continue with the conversation. She is not done with Stefan, however.
"Qetsiyah also said you weren't the one who killed Caroline's dad."
He drops his jaw, unsure of what to say.
"It was already bad if it was you, but Caroline… she would have never done something like that. Now I understand. She is losing herself, and so are you, Stefan. You practically pushed Elena into turning, and did not think twice before helping Klaus even though he is far from being this reformed version that you apparently met somewhere in the future past. How many times have you been living this life already?"
He closes his eyes and sighs.
"I don't care about the past, Bonnie. Just like Elena said, it is going to be different this time."
At least, if they are to take Qetsiyah's words as a clue, they have a lead about what to look for when they ask about the curse.
"You don't care about the past because you cannot even remember most of it. If Caroline has trouble dealing with the memories, what do you think will happen to you, Stefan?"
"I am not going to go into a murderous spree, if that is what you are worried about."
Bonnie does not look very convinced.
