*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.
Death is not an enemy
*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.
Early April 1997
Draco was home for Spring break and he couldn't believe how different Shari was. The radio almost never came on, she rarely spoke or laughed and the pile of bottles by the sitting room couch was growing steadily larger. He knew how to fend for himself, so he fixed his own meals and tried unsuccessfully to coax her to eat as well.
"Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence"
(Sound of Silence, Disturbed)
Two days into his break, she was summoned early in the day. Along with the burning from her mark, she also was bent over with severe cramps, as if her abdomen was caught in a vice.
She didn't return until two mornings later. After she slowly walked through the door, she made eye contact with him for a brief moment. Then her eyes dropped to the floor and she went straight to the shower, then to bed without a word. He had a strong hunch about what was happening, but both Shari and his godfather had avoided discussing it with him so far after the first day it had happened.
Two hours later, she started screaming in her sleep.
"Shelby! Shelby! No! Leave her alone, leave her alone! Shelby!" Her eyes were shut and she was reaching for something as if being held back.
He couldn't wake her up, so he sent Minzy to get his godfather.
Severus went right to her side, and was able to get her to open her eyes.
"Can you tell me what happened?"
"He had to leave, while I was there. He locked me in his room and was gone for a long time. There was a bottle of some kind of alcohol, so I drank some. It knocked me out. I started having nightmares. I was calling her name in my sleep. He heard me. Now he knows about her." Shari wiped at the tears running down her cheeks.
"About who? Who's Shelby?"
Shari looked into his eyes for a long moment. "My daughter."
Realization dawned on Severus's face. He and Tonks had been right. She had a daughter that she fiercely sought to protect from this world.
"I will do anything to protect her from all of you. Anything. When it comes to her safety, I don't trust anybody."
"How old is she?" Shari turned her head towards her godson. She'd forgotten he was there.
"She's 16 now, almost two years younger than you. I had her when I was 16."
"She's living with your wife?"
"Yes. The Dark Lord knows about her now, but her last name is different. After I woke up calling her name, he used legilimency on me and I couldn't shield anything about her this time."
"What did he say?"
"He just stared at me. Just stared, with those horrible red eyes. Then he told me I could get dressed and go. You don't think he would try to find her, do you? I'll have his baby. I'll have a thousand babies, if it will mean she is safe."
"Now he has another way of controlling you. He knows you'll do anything to protect her."
He sat down on their bed and pulled her into his arms. Draco met his eyes and then left the room, closing the door behind him.
She buried her face into his chest, something she had barely done in months. "Gods, it feels so good to be in your arms. I've missed this so much. It's wonderful to be touched by someone that doesn't have a body temperature of negative twelve."
"I'm not even supposed to be touching you." He pulled her tighter to him in defiance.
"I'm very glad you are."
They sat silently, holding each other for several more minutes. Then he gently pushed her away and stood up. "I need to get back. Draco is going to ask what is going on, if he hasn't guessed already."
Shari sighed, knowing her godson would have already figured it out. He was very observant. "I'm sure he has already put it together. You may as well confirm it for him if he asks. He's really not a child anymore."
"No, he's not. Never drink anything that has been touched by the Dark Lord, unless I examine it first or you absolutely have to. I hope you've learned how dangerous that was."
She took a deep breath, realizing that whatever she drank had been a dark potion.
"What did the bottle look like?"
"It was black glass and about as tall as my forearm is long. It was tapered towards the top, but round at the bottom. It smelled like petrichor and pine, like I was in the middle of a woods after a rain. It tasted earthy."
"Cordis Secreta. It creates the smell of the place the drinker most wants to be. It reveals the deepest desires and fears of the drinker and they can't use occlumency to hide them."
"You created it?"
"Yes, that was my invention and my handiwork that you drank."
"So that's why I dreamed about her and why I couldn't block anything about her?"
"That would be why. What else did he see?"
"My wife. Us. Tonks. Us and Tonks. I hope I haven't put her in danger."
"Not any more than she is already in. She can defend herself very well. You haven't shared your bed with myself or her since before he started making you share his. I need to return to Hogwarts. Are you okay to be left alone now?"
"Yes, I'm alright."
He wrapped his arms around her and they shared a brief kiss, then he left the room. Shari stayed behind until she heard the pop of apparition.
When Severus reached the sitting room, Draco stood up. He met his godfather's eyes.
"How long has this been going on?"
"Since August."
"He wants her to have his baby?"
"Yes."
"Is he hurting her?"
"Sometimes he does. The threat of harm can be just as damaging, though. But I convinced her at the beginning not to fight him, and to just give him what he wants or he'll kill her. But she hates it. I imagine every second is spent hoping she pleases him enough that he doesn't inflict the Cruciatus on her."
He glanced around at the quiet and gloomy house, his eyes landing on the pile of bottles last. "As you can see, she's not dealing with it well."
Minzy popped into the house, two bottles of liquor in her hand. "Miss Shari needs more whiskey." She set both bottles on the windowsill by the couch and disappeared.
Both men exchanged a long look. "We can't take that away from her." Severus shook his head.
"As if we could. She hasn't completely given up her fight."
"No, but I don't know how much longer she can do this before she breaks."
"I know."
"I need to get back." Severus looked around the sitting room one more time and then at the closed bedroom door. "Watch over her."
"I will."
*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.
When Shari felt her arm flare again one week later, she cried out from pain and at the thought of facing the Dark Lord again. His demands were becoming rough and painful at times.
Then Draco's flared and she realized there was something different happening.
Several hours later, he apparated back to Spinner's End from his ancestral home, Malfoy Manor, with Minzy. He had Shari in his arms, as she was barely conscious and experiencing frequent seizures from the Cruciatus. Severus was at Hogwarts and he didn't know if his godfather knew what had transpired or not.
After Draco had failed to positively identify Harry due to polyjuice potion, the Gryffindor boys had been locked in the dungeon but Hermione was left upstairs. Shari had tensed as Death Eaters had closed in around the girl, knowing what was going to happen.
She made a split second decision and quickly ran to the girl's side, yanking her up on her feet and casting a shield around them both. She forcefully pulled her to the door, oblivious to Bellatrix's shouts. She was grateful for inheriting Scorpio's physical strength because Hermione was resisting her and twice people tried to physically stop her. Once outside the room, she called Minzy. When she appeared, she instructed her to take Hermione to Shell cottage immediately. She ran back in time to see Dobby disapparate with Harry and Ron.
Then it was hell to pay for Shari. Bellatrix was furious, and she was already jealous of the attention the redhead received from the Dark Lord.
For over two hours, the insane witch tortured Shari with the Cruciatis. Every nerve in her body was alight with the burn of a thousand fires. If anyone had asked her for her name, she would not have been able to tell them. All she knew was pain. It would let up, only to start again even worse. Death was all that she wanted, but it was out of her reach.
They discussed raping her, but were afraid of the Dark Lord's wrath, since she was his favorite and he was trying to have a child with her. They finally decided to hold her down and take turns groping her body while Bellatrix carved up her arm. She was only semi-conscious, but she felt hands grabbing her over and under her clothes as a searing pain tore through her arm. She was helpless to fight back. When they finally let up, she was thrown at her godson's feet. "Get that American trash out of here!"
After depositing her on her bed, Draco frantically tried to remember what potions were good for the post-cruciatus seizures. He finally gave her Draught of Peace, an anti-spasmodic, pain reliever, wit sharpening potion, Dreamless Sleep and an anti-inflammatory.
Severus had apparated home soon after, having been informed he was needed by Minzy, and nodded in approval at his godson's choice in treatment before taking a seat by her side.
"Her arm…." Draco pointed at Shari's right arm, then pulled up the sleeve. Carved into the flesh of her forearm were the words AMERICAN WHORE.
Severus jumped up and punched the wall, then repaired it. Angrily he paced around the room.
"So help me Merlin, did they touch her? Did they force themselves on her?"
"They did not force themselves on her, no. Although, they discussed it. They were just afraid of him. But they held her down while Aunt Bella was carving her up and they were pawing her body like they'd never touched a woman before." Draco swallowed, uncomfortable with the level of rage his godfather was showing, having spent his early years watching his father beat his mother.
Severus punched the wall again.
"I'm sorry. I am. I couldn't do anything to help her, they held me back."
The professor turned and took his godson by the shoulders. "Draco, I want you to listen to me. None of this is your fault."
"But I…"
"No, look at me, Draco." Grey met black and the younger wizard let out a shaky breath. "None of what happened to her today is your fault."
"Alright." He wiped a tear from his eye. "She was screaming so loud and there was nothing I could do." He leaned his head forward and laid it against Severus's chest and cried. The older wizard wrapped his arms around him and held him. "It was like the day my father killed my mother all over again. I thought I was going to lose her, too."
"But she's going to be alright. We haven't lost her."
Draco pulled away and Severus walked over to where she slept. He examined the letters carved into her arm. He shook his head as he ran his fingers over them. "I can create a salve to put on these to help them heal, but they'll never go away. She'll always have a scar."
He sent his godson out and pulled the covers back to change her clothes and found the bed full of blood. A diagnostic spell told him that she was miscarrying. He'd never known she was pregnant and maybe she didn't either.
After giving her an abortifacient and making sure the miscarriage completed, he gave her pain reliever and healing potions.
He sent Draco to bed with Dreamless Sleep, gave a few more drops to Shari to keep her asleep all night, then apparated back to Hogwarts to resume his Headmaster duties.
In the morning he came home and checked on them both. Draco was awake, but Shari was still sleeping. He gently woke her up, helped her to the loo and coaxed her to eat, then gave her more Dreamless Sleep.
He came back and checked on her again that night. She had been sleeping virtually since her return home the day before. When he woke her up to eat, she asked why her arm hurt. When it had happened, Shari was so out of it from the Cruciatus that she did not know what was carved into her arm. He picked up her right arm and showed her. She gasped but had little energy to react much more than that. Severus knew a real reaction would be coming when she woke up more.
He brought out the salve he'd just created and gave her instructions to put it on twice a day until it healed.
While applying it the following morning, Severus finally asked what made her jump in front of Hermione like that and save her.
Her eyes grew distant and her voice was detached. "There was a lot of abuse growing up in various foster homes. I couldn't stand to hear or see another child being hurt, so I'd jump in front of others and take it myself. I'd rather take the pain or whatever on myself than to watch someone else be hurt."
"Shari, you could have been killed." He replaced the cap on the salve and looked in her eyes.
"I'd rather die than stand uselessly watching while an 18 year old girl is tortured, raped and murdered."
"Shari…."
"I'd rather die, Severus." Brown eyes blazed at black. "I meant it when I said I'm not afraid to die."
"Then we had better defeat the Dark Lord real quickly or you will never last as a Death Eater."
"No shit." She held up her arm and contemplated Bellatrix's handiwork. Then she held up her left forearm next to it.
"When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide"
Imagine Dragons
"I'm a fucking mess." She didn't tell Severus that if she hadn't stepped in for Hermione, the witch would have carved the word Mudblood into her arm. "The Muggle that was marked."
He leaned over close to her and turned her head to look at him.
"You were pregnant, but you miscarried. Did you know?"
"I was starting to suspect, because I knew I was late, but I was avoiding thinking about it because I knew it was his. My body was doing some weird things."
"He's going to need to know. This may be the thing that brings Bellatrix down finally."
"So my suicide by Death Eater mission failed, but my miscarriage by Death Eater mission succeeded."
She had barely moved from their bed those first two days due to abdominal cramping and tremors and healthy doses of Dreamless Sleep, but the third morning that he came home to check on her she was awake and cooking breakfast in the kitchen, humming along to Nicki Minaj/Rihanna.
"They got they guns out
aimin' at me
But I become Neo
when they aimin' at me
Me, me, me against them
Me against enemies,
me against friends...
They start comin'
and I start risin'
Must be surprisin',
I'm just surmisin'
I win, thrive, soar, higher
Higher, higher, more fire"
He caught Draco's eye and the blonde just shook his head as he eyed the radio and whispered. "She's been listening to fight songs since around 4 this morning. But at least she's up."
Seeing Severus in the kitchen, she pushed him towards a chair and shoved a plate in front of him. "Eat."
He made his way to the table and she quickly grabbed a plate of food out and threw a warming charm on it.
While he ate, she munched on a piece of dry toast and watched him.
Then it was time. They touched their wands to their marks. Both of their arms flared in response at once. Intense abdominal pain nearly sent Shari to her knees. They quickly ran out to the yard and pointed their wands at their marks, then disappeared in black cloudy streaks.
"Severus, Shari." He wrapped his arms around Shari and kissed her. "My beautiful Shari."
Then he stepped away. "Why have you both requested to be summoned?"
"My Lord, I had just missed my period and the torture Bellatrix inflicted on me for two hours caused me to miscarry your child."
All the air was sucked out of the room as the Dark Lord lifted up Shari's chin with his cold fingers. "You were with child?"
"Yes, my Lord."
He pressed his wand to his arm, then reached out and touched Shari's face again. Bellatrix spun into the room moments later. She screamed in rage when she saw Voldemort touching Shari and started to advance on her. He stopped her with a wave of his hand and she fell, unable to move.
"You finally conceived my child and this poor excuse for a witch caused you to miscarry?"
"Yes, my Lord. I am absolutely certain it was yours." She decided to turn the heat up. "I think it was a boy as well."
"Why did it take three days to come tell me?"
"I was sick and bleeding heavily, my Lord. I was in no condition to even get out of bed until today. After she was done inflicting the Cruciatus on me, several of your followers started groping and grabbing me."
His red eyes probed into Shari's mind, watching the attack and then searching for evidence of intimacy with Severus, but there was nothing there. She showed him everything related to losing it except the potion that hastened the process and so did Severus.
He turned his rage towards Bellatrix, who had been trying to sneak away.
"You caused her to miscarry my child." He stood over her, glowering.
"I did not know she was pregnant, my Lord."
"You allowed the snatchers and other Death Eaters to touch her." His eyes grew enormous. "She belongs to me! Only I may touch her!"
"Crucio!" He stood over the witch as she writhed and screamed under his wand as a thick red beam flew out of his wand.
He lowered his wand and the room was deathly silent, save for the sobs of the broken witch on the floor.
He started to walk away from Bellatrix, then suddenly turned on his heel. "Avada Kedavra!".
Her body fell limp on the ground. Bellatrix LeStrange was dead.
He turned and began to advance on Shari. He started to pull her to her feet.
"My Lord, my womb needs to heal for six weeks before I can conceive again, so that when you plant your seed in me I can carry your child successfully. I am so sorry. Perhaps I can satisfy you another way?"
"Yes, yes. Please, this way." He kissed her and turned to the Potions Master. "When I bring her back, see to it that she heals, so she is ready for me."
"Yes, my Lord." Severus nodded and they both rose from their knees. He stayed in the drawing room and the Dark Lord led her by the hand to his chambers. She got down on her knees.
Shari knew that before the six weeks was up, the Serpent would be dead. That's what she focused on as she completed her task.
Upon her solitary return to where Severus waited, she kept her eyes down and avoided eye contact. They both knew why she did what she did, to keep his focus on her and off of Potter. But to Shari, it felt like a death blow to their relationship. They walked outside in silence.
Inside the Manor, every man who had groped and grabbed and fondled Shari was being called to appear. Every red beam of the Cruciatus the Dark Lord inflicted on them revealed his displeasure.
After they arrived home, she sat for hours, just staring at her arms and drinking. Her eyes traced the words over and over. AMERICAN WHORE. Then she traced her eyes over the Dark Mark again and again. It was the ugliest thing she had ever seen.
Severus sat staring at the fire. He never looked at her. Neither spoke a single word.
Shari drank herself unconscious again and this time she woke up on the couch alone. So she started drinking again. She was two pints deep when Severus walked out the door without so much as a glance in her direction, but sober enough to know it was over. Draco returned to the school with him.
She had manipulated the Dark Lord with her body for months, and it had cost her what she had with Severus. Now she was alone.
It crossed her mind to go back to the Manor. But she quickly drank away the idea when the term Stockholm Syndrome popped into her head. She was broke and stranded, living in the house of a man who despised her.
Outside, anyone on the 'side of good', for whatever that meant, would despise her. In the Death Eater ranks, everybody either hated her or wanted to fuck her and toss her away.
She thought she understood the meaning of the word alone, but now it rang more true than it ever had before.
She was alone, well and truly.
No one to talk to.
No one to turn to.
Nowhere to go.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to her, and the bottle flew out of her hand and smashed against the wall.
He allowed this to happen so he could keep his cover!
He pimped her out to the Dark Lord in the motherfucking name of the 'greater good'.
He probably even brought her to his home with this intent, pretending he was rescuing her from Dumbledore.
All the while, planning to basically offer her up on a platter to Voldemort.
"Well, fuck you, Severus! Fuck all of you!"
Bottle after empty bottle smashed against the wall. She walked to the lab and spotted the drawer.
Pointing her wand at it, she opened it.
"Accio Hemlock."
It flew into her hand.
*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.*;.
Severus was eating dinner in the Hogwarts Great Hall when a light suddenly flashed around him. He looked up at Draco and realized he had seen it as well. He remembered he had told him what it meant.
The Potions Master locked eyes with his godson and then looked back down at his tea. When he looked up again, Draco was staring incredulously at him. Severus just shook his head and looked at the ceiling, resigned.
The younger wizard cast one more incredulous look at him and ran to his godfather's office. From there, he apparated home.
He burst through the door. "Shari!"
He ran to the lab, jumping over shattered liquor bottles on the way. She was standing in the doorway, a vial in her hand.
"Stupefy!"
She fell to the ground. He quickly grabbed the vial, then slowly and deliberately put it back in the drawer. A light flashed around him. He knew the same light was flashing around his godfather in the castle somewhere and he wondered if he even cared.
He woke her up and helped her to her feet.
"What were you thinking?"
"It's over, between me and your godfather. I got nobody. The good side will all hate me. The Death Eaters all either hate me or want to get in my pants. I've got nowhere to go. Nowhere. It's time for me to leave, the only way I can."
He led her away from the lab and tightly warded the door. Then he met her eyes and sighed deeply. He pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Shari…."
Just then, his mark flared. Then hers flared.
They landed in the Manor drawing room. Both Carrows were there.
They knelt down in front of the Dark Lord. Severus joined them a moment later.
"The Carrows told me a very odd tale. They said a strange light flashed around Severus, and a few minutes later Draco apparated from the Headmaster's office. A little while later, the light flashed again. I want you to tell me what happened."
Shari stood up.
"Leave them out of it. It wasn't them. It was me. I was fooling around in his lab, looking for something that will ready me for you sooner, but I didn't find anything. I should have known he'd give me the best healing potions he had and not been so impatient to be with you again. I just miss you so much, my Lord, and I'm counting down the days until I can be in your arms again."
He brushed at a trail of tears on her cheek. "Why the tears, my beautiful?"
"I'm just so lonely. I just miss the arms of my love and I miss being held." She hoped Severus knew she meant him.
The Dark Lord wrapped his arms around her and pulled her head against his shoulder. "Shari, Shari. My beautiful Shari. Tonight you will stay with me. I know your womb must rest, but I will still have you with me."
He turned and dismissed everybody else, then turned to her. "Come."
He brought her into his chambers and gestured for her to lay down. He laid down next to her, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to his chest.
Her nursing instinct kicked in and she listened to his heartbeat. It was painfully slow. An old clock on the wall with a second hand was slowly ticking and she counted his heartbeat for a full minute. 25 beats. Then she counted his respirations. 5. He seemed like more zombie than human.
"Are you alright, my love?" He was stroking her hair.
"I'm alright now that I'm with you and I'm listening to your heartbeat." She moved like she was snuggling deeper into his chest but scooched her pelvis away at the same time.
Somehow, she fell asleep, probably from a spell. When she woke up, she was still being held tightly against a very cold chest. She shifted and felt something pressing firmly against her thigh.
She opened her eyes and saw red ones staring directly into hers. To escape them, she pulled away and placed a hand over his erection. Then she scooted down until she was face to face with it, and brought him to completion.
"The more he focuses on you," she reminded herself, "the less he is focused on Harry."
She scooted back up and began rubbing his head and kissing him in the name of distraction. She soon found herself falling asleep again and didn't wake up until morning. Little did she know he had no intention of waiting six weeks and had intentionally put her under a spell so he could do whatever he wanted to her.
She woke up naked and knew instantly what happened, but was not surprised. After a long, hot bath in which the Bald Cunt sat and watched her wash herself, she was allowed to leave. It made her skin crawl.
Minzy took her back home. It crossed her mind that she should take an emergency contraceptive just in case, but the lab was locked and warded. She feared raising Severus's ire, but maybe Draco could help her.
Unfortunately, Minzy reported back that he couldn't leave the castle. She sent Minzy to fetch Severus. When he popped into the living room with the elf, she explained herself while never once making eye contact. An hour later, he handed her a vial, re-warded the lab, set more vials in their bedroom, and left without a word.
Her skin finally stopped crawling from the memory of those red eyes watching her bathe when she put on layers of clothing and blankets and curled up on the couch with a bottle of liquor.
Back at Hogwarts, Draco finally confronted Severus about the previous day.
"Why didn't you stop her? She nearly had the vial open."
His godfather's black eyes gazed at him, unwavering. "What was it?"
"Hemlock. Why didn't you care? I thought you loved her."
The professor sighed. "I do love her. He's in her head, turning her against me, I can feel it. As for why I didn't try to stop her…"
He stopped and looked out the window of the Headmaster office at the black lake.
"Eventually, this war will end. If the Dark Lord loses, there will be cries for justice for Albus Dumbledore's death. If they find her guilty, she'll get the kiss. She doesn't deserve that. Hemlock is quicker, and painless."
"She thinks you despise her for what she has to do. I think you're jealous. She says she feels completely alone, with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. She says the good guys will all hate her, and the Death Eaters either all hate her or want to fuck her. So instead of dealing with it yourself, you let a seventeen year old try to fumble around and help her. You may be a Master of Potions, but you certainly aren't a Master at love. When she said she missed her love and missed being held, she meant you. When she said she was lonely, she meant you."
Severus dropped his eyes to the ground, feeling thoroughly chastised for his inaction and jealousy.
"Draco… Thank you. I'm going to go to her right now."
The younger wizard nodded. "Oh, unless she's cleaned it up, there's broken glass all over the house. She must have been throwing bottles."
The potioneer nodded. "Thanks. I'll be careful. I imagine she was mad at me, that's why she did it."
He apparated away after his godson left for his dorm and landed in his sitting room. Sure enough, broken liquor bottles lined the floor under a dented wall.
Shari was curled up in multiple blankets, despite the warm weather. A liquor bottle sat in one hand, his shirt in the other and she held it against her face.
The first words out of her mouth when she saw him were "I'm going to clean it up".
"I can do it more effectively and safer than you. But I'm not upset about the wall. You're a hard woman to keep alive."
He waved his wand and the glass bottles flew back together, then assembled in a cluster in the corner. Another few waves of his wand and the dents in the wall disappeared. Then he sat down on the couch facing her.
"Talk to me, Shari." His dark eyes gazed into her own. Seeing love and concern in them, she decided to speak her mind.
"After we returned from the Manor the other day, you didn't say a word to me or look at me. Not even when you left. You're jealous, but I feel like you set this up. You brought me here under a guise of protection, but then offered me up to the Dark Lord as a distraction. You basically served me to him on a platter with the initiation outfit you transfigured, then got progressively more jealous when I did what you asked."
Severus studied a button on his frock coat. "You're right. I did all that. There's no point in lying to you anymore, now that you put it all together. That's why you played a hundred and one bottles of beer on the wall?"
"It was only twenty, and yes. I felt so alone. I thought it was completely over between us because of what I have to do. Do you think I liked giving him that blowjob any more than you liked standing out there waiting?"
"No."
"Do you think I like having to rub his head and tell him how handsome and powerful and smart and wonderful he is, while he kisses and hits and hexes me and sticks that engorgio'd cock everywhere?"
His eyes shifted to her face. She never revealed what the Dark Lord made her do for him during her summons and that was the closest she'd ever gotten. "No."
"Do you think I liked waking up this morning and realizing he'd been having his way with me all night when I'm supposed to be healing?"
"No."
"Do you think I like having orgasms spelled onto me back to back until they're no longer pleasurable and turn painful?"
"No. He does that?"
"Yes. It's a new thing of his, along with the anal and the hitting and hexing me, but I encourage it because he likes it and I'm supposed to keep him happy. You know why I'm wearing my shirts and jumper and your jumper and am wrapped in three blankets? Before I left this morning, he had me take a bath and sat and watched me as I scrubbed myself. It made my skin crawl and it didn't stop until I came home and layered myself in fabric."
He looked down at the layers of fabric he wore on his own body. He had started cloaking himself after being the favorite student of Slughorn's in his seventh year.
Shaking the unpleasant memories off, he turned to the woman beside him.
"Why did you prostitute me to him, Severus?" She looked angry or at least was headed that way. "Is that all I am to you, just a uterus and a vagina with a spicy last name? Did you ever think how turning me into his whore would affect me?"
"I thought if he liked you, you could distract him. It worked, he's very distracted. He spends days at a time just with you instead of chasing Potter. To your second question, no I didn't really think about how it would affect you."
"Yeah, lucky me. He's a typical man when it comes to sex, easy to distract. Do you love me at all, Severus? Did you ever?"
"Yes, and it's been highly inconvenient that I fell in love with you. I am sorry. I understand if you never forgive me." He shivered at the expression in the brown eyes boring into him.
"I might not. I also might move out after this war ends. I don't feel as if I can trust you. Early on, I thought you were only protecting me because I was sleeping with you. But it was worse than that, you were only protecting me from Dumbledore and planning to make me the Dark Lord's whore."
"Shari, will you please give me a chance to prove myself? I do love you and I know I've been the wizarding world's lousiest boyfriend by giving you to him. I'll do better, I promise."
"Okay. Just one more chance. I know you can't undo what's been done with him, he's too obsessed with me."
"No, I definitely cannot. Do you still love me, Shari?"
"Yes, I do." She climbed onto his lap and looked into his eyes. "I'm not supposed to touch you, and I'm still healing, but I really wish I could make love to you right now."
"I wish you could, too."
"Do you want me to…"
"No, love, I don't. I just want to hold you a little longer before I have to go back."
Shari laid her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her. For a long moment, they held each other, enjoying the forbidden touch. Her body belonged to the Dark Lord. Her heart still yearned for Severus.
