"A Seraph's Hawking Field is many orders of magnitude above that of even an FCV. It can wield it far more potently as a weapon too." Top secret Nerv dossier
VII
He could feel the Eva's back slide shut behind him. Now he was trapped in this metal cylinder that had been inserted directly into Unit 01's spine. Utilitarian, there was nothing in it except for a hard steel seat and a pair of control sticks.
A coffin would be more comfortable.
Sitting in that seat, curiously absent of a seat belt, Shinji gripped the two sticks. His hands constantly trembled. Were it not so dark, he'd have seen them turn as white as a ghost.
Artificial red light suddenly flickered on, and he felt a little more relaxed, but not by much. Despite his fear though, he couldn't help but ponder the odd lack of a viewing port.
Maybe it's all holographic?
"Radio connection established." Said a young, feminine voice.
"Good, lieutenant." Misato cut in. "Tucked in nicely, Shinji-kun?"
"You could say that." He looked around, already feeling the walls close in on him.
"We're beginning synchronisation. Hold tight, it might hurt a bit."
A wall of pain slammed into his head. Shinji shut his eyes and recoiled in momentary agony as a blinding light engulfed the cylinder. As quickly as they came however, the pain and light subsided.
"What the hell was that?" He rubbed his head tenderly.
"Wait." Misato said.
Shinji opened his mouth to question her, then realised the dimness of his cockpit was lifting. From it, a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree panorama of the outside world gradually crept up. But it wasn't like footage from a camera feed, no matter how high quality. It felt like he could see straight through flesh and steel.
Shinji, bewildered, looked down at the platform he'd stood on not ten minutes before, seeing the full extent of Unit 01's mighty body save for its head. Holy shit…I'm looking through its eyes.
It was like being a giant. Indeed, it was to be a giant. For the first time in his life, Shinji felt powerful.
"What do you think?" Misato asked.
"Err…wow?" Shinji ventured.
"I can only imagine." Ritsuko cut in with a coy tone. "Lieutenant Ibuki, what is our status?"
"Ocular connection established, Dr Akagi." The soft voice said, clearly belonging to "Ibuki." "Commencing muscle connection."
He twitched as it felt like small electric shocks were administered to his muscles. Methodically, they went up from his toes to his head. Strength unknown pumped into each one.
Just temporarily, Shinji's fear had been eclipsed by awe. It were as if he'd become one with the Eva, as if its strength and sight were now his own.
"Diagnostics complete. Synch rate at forty-one percent. Evangelium Unit 01 is activated and ready for launch."
Shinji came back to reality. Whatever Nerv needed to do was done. They'd throw him at the Seraph now. His heart climbed up into his throat as he took deeper and deeper breaths. There was some faint crackling on the radio as personnel talked to each other, likely as they confirmed orders and made the final adjustments.
I wish I wasn't here. He his hands continued to tremble despite his best efforts.
"Shinji-kun, we're reading your vitals. We know you're stressed." Misato said gently.
"S-sorry."
"Sorry? Fucking hell, Shinji-kun, there's no need to say sorry."
Shinji shut his mouth and nodded almost to himself. The trembling had spread from his hands to his entire body. He felt sick.
"It's alright to be scared, kiddo. It'll keep you alert." Said a voice in a strong, foreign accent. Perhaps it may have been from the old USA, for whilst it was coherent the Japanese was garbled.
"Who's that, Katsuragi-san?" Shinji asked, eager to take his mind off impending danger.
"This is Captain Smith. He's our Columbian liaison." Misato's tone became more guilty and small, as if 'Captain Smith' was glaring at her.
"I'm also your combat trainer…supposedly." He said icily, but not at Shinji.
"Yeah." Misato said, awkwardly. "You'll be getting plenty of practice in future. But for now, listen to him. Smith-san was a HMAC ace in the Columbian War of Independence. He knows what he's about with Mech combat."
Plenty of practice…if I survive. Shinji's lip quivered as he pictured his father watching the whole farce unfold. Why has he done this to me?
"What's on your mind?" Came Smith's voice again, as Shinji felt a rumble. Unit 01 was being moved into position on some sort of platform.
"Not much. I'm fine, really." He lied.
"That right?" Smith said sarcastically. "Well, whatever's on your mind, put it aside. The only thing you think of is your enemy, because he'll only be thinking of you when he's trying to kill you."
The radio suddenly crackled with static for a moment. Shinji thought he heard what sounded like Misato's distorted voice arguing with Smith. He could faintly make out "oh that's going to make him feel real better. Baka-gaijin" but not much else.
He opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it.
Silence ticked by until Unit 01 jolted into place. Beads of sweat trickled down the back of Shinji's neck. If there was ever someone who looked like they shouldn't have been there, it was him. Gaunt, pale and trembling, his attire was meant more for a nice dinner instead of battle. Even the imperial cavalry, riding their HMACs in their splendid blue uniforms, had Kevlar woven into the fabric. They also didn't have these odd hairclips that vaguely reminded him of cat ears. Battleship grey and black, they were drab things that fitted in nicely with his hair.
I'm going to die out there. He shut his eyes and thought of home, of his hill, his books and his beautiful cello lying all alone on its stand in his living room. If he died here, would they be requisitioned by the state? It was their property after all. They'd throw them all in a charity shop where they'd get dusty and broken.
Shinji had to choke back a sob. I want to go home.
A low humming reached his ears, that steadily grew to a throb. It reminded him of a train starting its Manmitsu engine up. Electricity, must be.
"Hmm." Ritsuko mused. "Hovering at forty-one. It's not as good as it could've been, but we'll manage."
"Not as good?" He asked, despairingly. Clearly his already abysmal chances were worse than first thought.
"Nominally your connection would be better, maybe at about fifty percent. But we don't have time for your suit and helmet today, so those A-10s will have to do for now."
"A-10s?"
"Your hair clips. They help boost your neural signal to the Eva. Used to be the default equipment a few years back, but technology has come a fair way since then."
He didn't answer for a immediately, hands awkwardly squeezing the control sticks. Slicked with sweat, they already struggled to keep a grip.
"What are my chances?" He braced for the sudden rush, for his guts to be slammed down as he was propelled into a combat zone once again.
"You'll be fine." Ritsuko's tone uncharacteristically softened, pity in it. "Trust in Eva. It will protect you."
"Protect me-" He was cut off by Misato's bark.
"All lights green! Evangelium Unit 01, deploy!"
Lights and steel flashed past in equal measure. He'd prepared, tried to imagine what this would be like, and failed. Shinji was crushed into his seat, teeth gritting as his insides were flattened.
Then the chute disappeared and above him was sky. Wispy, pink clouds gently crossed an orange late afternoon. He'd popped out on a hill overlooking distant Nakisawame. Shinji almost smiled in relief at leaving the horrid utilitarianism of Nerv behind for a more natural view.
Yet of course, he was here for something far less natural then Nerv could ever be. In the very heart of the city, shadow stretching off into what seemed the horizon, it stood. The Seraph had its back to him, a little shorter than he remembered only for his eyes to brutally correct him.
The Seraph was standing in a depression some twenty metres deep in charred concrete and molten slag that was once armour plating. Surrounded by a square kilometre of flattened city, it had been trying to directly blast its way into Levav base. Even with it not looking, Shinji felt his stomach tie itself into knots.
That thing's slaughtered armies. What kind of fucking chance do I have?
The Seraph's former swagger as it had cut through one of the mightiest war machines on Earth, a force that could have conquered the world of 1999, had disappeared. It had stiffened, gone almost rigid as if sensing something. It knew he was there.
"Alright, Shinji-kun. We're detaching you now." Misato said. Clamps he hadn't been aware of released, and suddenly he felt stronger yet less steady. Unit 01 was free to move as it pleased.
Speaking of which…He cautiously eyed the joysticks, still trying to keep the Seraph in sight simultaneously. They vaguely resembled what he understood to be a HMACs control system, but only vaguely.
"How do I move?" Shinji asked.
"You are synchronised with Unit 01. Imagine it as if you yourself were moving." Ritsuko answered.
"What are these for then?" He pushed the joysticks a little.
"We've found them to help pilots in controlling the Eva. Control sticks are a little less tenuous than psychic commands-" Her words faded away into a murmur.
The Seraph's beady black eyes bore into Shinji's soul. A second later, a spear of light exploded from its right hand as the Seraph advanced on him.
"Shinji-kun, you need to start moving now." Misato's tone became urgent.
Shinji froze for a heartbeat, unable to look away. The Seraph's gaze was filled with malice and focus for him and him alone. He knew what murderous intent looked like, and it was looking him dead in the eye.
It's going to kill me.
"Shinji."
He shook his head and gripped the control sticks. With every beat his heart pounded just that bit louder. He tried to picture himself walking, and pushed the control sticks forward. Unit 01 answered. The ground shook beneath its weight.
Cheers sounded over the radio. Misato chuckled, as if unable to believe it herself. "Well done. We don't have any spare weaponry for you, so you'll have to make do with your fists. Usually you would have to expand your H-Field to neutralise the enemy's, but we haven't had time to train you. Proximity alone should wear down the Seraph's H-Field."
"P-proximity. Got it." Shinji took deep breaths as he still trembled. He felt off balance and struggled to keep himself from toppling over.
"Kid." Captain Smith cut in. "We've got HIJMAS Hotaka within support range. If it comes to it, the military will provide cover fire."
An FCV? They couldn't do anything against it earlier. What good are they now? Shinji gulped, watching the Seraph get ever closer.
"Any advice?" He desperately asked. Surely the soldier would know what to do?
"All the enemy has on its mind is killing you. Return the favour." Smith said, flatly.
The Seraph's eyes, narrowed and filled with hate, left Shinji quite believing of this. Deep within, he felt his stomach be tugged by the urge to run, to flee before this terrible foe that wished him only death.
The Seraph broke into a sprint.
Thoughts consumed by terror, Shinji tried to force another foot forward. It failed to land entirely, and his balance tilted inexorably forward. Unit 01's arms were sluggish and could not stop it falling flat on its face. Where its head had been moments before, the Seraph's blade sliced through the air.
The comms became frantic. People tried to talk to him or relay orders to one another, all whilst he thought he heard Smith shouting at someone. Shinji paid little attention. His fifteen-year-old throat constricted as he realised he'd condemned himself to death.
It'll stab me in the back any moment now. I don't want to die…
The moment didn't come.
On the radar, the blip representing the Seraph slowly circled. It kept a cautious distance.
It charged…it's circling me…what the hell is this thing?
"Shinji-kun! You have to get up!" Misato desperately urged. He tried to obey, imagining himself pushing against the ground with both hands. The Eva rose like a glacier. The ground immediately shook with titanic footfalls, and an alien hand gripped Unit 01's head, his head, like an iron vice. Shinji screamed as he was lifted, as if his skull was about to be torn from his spine.
The Seraph forced him to look into its eyes. If it had a mouth, he may have been able to smell what it had for breakfast. Instead, Shinji could only quail before a wrath older than humanity itself. The Seraph tilted its head, as if bemused by his poor showing. It plunged its blade straight through Unit 01's stomach.
Shinji doubled over, air driven from his lungs. Searing pain slashed through his gut. He clawed for breath.
"It's just a sympathetic injury. You haven't actually been stabbed, it just feels like it. Fight, Shinji-kun!" Misato tried to reassure in-between crackles of static.
Unit 01 raised its mighty fist and threw it at the Seraph. It harmlessly clattered off that wall of red lightning, what had shrugged off the Imperial Japanese Army's every attack earlier that day. Annoyed, amusement spent, the Seraph ripped its lance out of the Eva's stomach, released its grip, then slashed down across its armoured chest.
Shinji felt like dying when he hit the ground again. He considered playing dead simply to make the pain stop, and for the Seraph to leave him alone. Too much depended on him for that, however.
Shakily, he forced Unit 01's to push itself off the ground and gently lift its bulk up. White pain still coursed from his torso, but he tried to block it out.
Pretend it's that Kenpeitai. You could take the pain then, you can take it now.
In a less stressful time, a forbidden euphoria would have been coaxed forth by the idea of punching that brute square in the jaw; that Misato had left the man on his knees, in stunned and bloodied silence, had been enjoyable enough.
But he wasn't fighting a Kenpei. This was a Seraph, and no amount of imagination could paint Sergeant Kaza's face on that helm of bone.
After a few seconds pause, as if astonished by the Eva's durability, the Seraph grasped it by the scruff of its neck, and with an almighty bellow tossed it through the air. Momentarily nauseous from the weightlessness, Shinji grunted as he slammed into Nakisawame's downtown districts. He careered through shops, office blocks and homes in equal measure.
Forcing himself to his feet, Shinji barely had time to peer through the debris cloud before the Seraph came at him. For a being so vast, it burst through the air like a dancer in their prime. Frantically, he rolled out of its way and tried to assume a fighting stance. With what little he knew of combat, Shinji gingerly raised his fists.
The Seraph snorted, then lunged at him again. Shinji tried to back away, but his enemy was much too fast. A blade of pure energy tore at his shoulder causing him to spin slightly. The Seraph followed up with a knee to the legs and knocked Unit 01 down again. It slashed at the Eva and cought it once across the throat before it rolled away.
Shinji felt like a reanimated corpse, covered in slashes and stab wounds that should have killed him. All higher goals, of protecting his country, of keeping a wounded girl from getting herself killed, had devolved into an animalistic drive to live.
The Seraph would not oblige him. It stretched out its arm at the struggling Eva. A storm of red energy crackled and surged forward, as the enemy wielded its greatest asset; its H-Field.
A storm greater than even the monsters that ravaged coastlines of the world from time to time slammed into Shinji. His skin felt singed as he was blasted across a good tenth of eastern Nakisawame. Had he time to look around, he'd have observed the devastation the blast left in its wake, of cinders and ash where there had once been city. The enemy, as ever, had no intention of giving him that time.
Shinji threw a mindless, savage punch in a desperate attempt to protect himself. Unit 01's battleship grey fist, as if in slow motion, went straight past the side-stepping Seraph. Its blade swished through the air, and everything below his right elbow hit the ground with a wet thud.
Shinji screamed. Heat seared through armour, muscle and bone, leaving a burned stump. The Seraph wasted no time and slashed downwards, cutting through the Eva's right eye and cheek. Shinji toppled backwards, all thought consumed by pain and shock. An apartment block crumbled beneath his weight, destroyed masonry providing a back rest of sorts for the ruined "war machine" to slump against.
Mankind's greatest weapon had been trounced.
In that moment, the Seraph had never seemed so big to him. Even when he'd stumbled out of that ruined train, Shinji had been more overcome by awe than fear, as if he were an ant. Now he was a fly, a dirty, annoying, fly that had buzzed in a place it was unwelcome.
The Seraph looked down at him, imperious gaze regarding this disappointment of an opponent with scorn. It closed its fist around Unit 01's throat, and raised its blade to strike at the Eva's heart.
This was it. He wouldn't go home, play his cello again, or watch the ships sail into Kure harbour. The Seraph would skewer him then and strike would go right through the entry plug, killing him instantly.
The radio had gone insane, distorted by countless shouts. He thought he heard Misato's voice, but didn't listen hard enough. All he could hear was deafening silence before the Seraph struck true.
"I want to go home…" He sobbed, any thought of an honourable death slipping away. His life had been a disgrace to the Japanese way. His end would be no different. "I want to go home."
Shinji closed his eyes.
