DISCLAIMER - The characters, the Shadowhunter world, and some elements of this plot belong to Cassandra Clare. Hope you enjoy!
Prologue
Two years ago
My hands trembled as I held a palm to my mouth. She wanted to kill me.
Luke glared at her. "You can't poison her Jocelyn!"
"You don't tell me what I do with my daughter!"
What the hell? Did she just say that! My heart raced and the hair on my arms prickled.
"Why don't you just take her to the warlock?"
"I can't do that. He has already done everything possible!"
Luke yelled, "You can't kill her Jocelyn! I never took you to be so cruel!"
"Don't you get it? I have to! She is young and weak and she shouldn't exist. She is a mistake Lucian!" A sob escaped her. "If I don't kill her she will find out what she is and then do something stupid."
"You don't know that," he said.
She whispered, "She just asked me to let her go to the Pandemonium…"
Luke stiffened. "I…but you didn't let her, so she is safe!"
"She isn't and we both know that!"
"How long do you think you can keep this from her? You think killing her is a good idea! Are you that dense?"
"Well, what do you think I should do? Tell her everything and give her some twisted idea in her head!"
He sighed. "I'm not telling you to tell her everything, but at least explain to her what she is."
"She won't be able to handle it, Luke. She can't. She will get lost and…" She trailed off.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried to calm my wheezing and my nails dug into my palm. Who was she to decide any of that?
"Then think of something else. You can't poison her Jocelyn…"
She bristled. "You should leave."
My breathing grew harsh. I couldn't hear more. Poison! I turned around and sprinted back to my room, running a trembling hand through my hair. She wouldn't go that far. I knew it. She was my mother. But… But what if she did? Luke's words rang in my head. '-what she is...' What was I? '-her powers…' Were the visions some sort of power? I thought I was hallucinating. Why can't I go to the pandemonium? What is wrong with me? A tear escaped my eye and I wiped it away. Was I loosing my mind?
My mother's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "Clary! Come for dinner!"
I swallowed. What if… I shook my head. She wouldn't do that. She was my mom. She wouldn't do that. I calmed my breathing and I repeated this as I walked to the kitchen in a hesitant stride.
I was just twisting the knob when crashes sounded. I cracked the door open and peeped into the room. Jocelyn looked towards the door and I hid behind it. She turned back but the gesture was enough to make me stiffen and swallow. She knelt down and picked up a vial from the floor and added it to the food. A sob escaped her. I looked up. She was crying. My hands trembled as I shut the door and made my way back to my room as quietly as I could. I wouldn't eat that. It would kill me. I slipped under the cover of my bed and tightly gripped the pillow, as if it could protect me. I was clueless. Young, weak, stupid and a mistake that shouldn't exist- as my mother had so eloquently pointed out after deciding that she should poison me. I didn't notice I was crying until I felt the tears drip onto my pillow. I knew nothing and she wouldn't tell me… Was I loosing my mind?
"Clary!"
Her voice sounded and I slipped further under the covers. Footsteps sounded and I heard the door open. I closed my eyes. 'Don't let her know, you know… Don't let her know, you know… Don't let her know, you know…' My mother walked up to my side and let out a loud sigh. Her hand reached out to caress my hair as I willed myself to not flinch. 'Poison'. Her words still in my head. She leaned down and kissed my forehead. After what felt like an eternity, I finally heard the door being shut. Tears streamed down my face and what just happened finally hit me. My teeth chattered and I tried to stop my limbs from shaking. What would I do now? She wanted to kill me and we lived under the same roof. Not to mention, she was my mother. I was screwed.
CHAPTER 1
"Clary! I don't think that's a good idea…" said Simon.
I groaned. "Come on! It's my birthday! Besides, you owe me, remember…" I smirked and raised a brow.
He glared at me. "Just remember, if your mom finds out, the blame is on you."
I frowned and gave a curt nod. "She won't."
There was no way she will find out. I had been planning this for a year now. It took some time to convince myself that this was the right thing to do but I succeeded, nonetheless. Simon noticed the change in my mood and glanced at me, his brow furrowing.
We walked in silence till I asked, "Why are you staring at me?"
"No reason, just…"
"Hmm?"
"You have changed so much."
I fidgeted. "Yeah… I don't know what you mean by that."
"I have a feeling you do."
I sighed internally but just rolled my eyes at him. "Lets go." I pulled him into the Pandemonium.
It was Friday night so this place was crowded but then again, that was the point of it. I looked around. There was something weird about it. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Maybe it was the answers I came looking for. I exhaled a shaky breath as I admired the gothic ambience. I guess I would fit in if I didn't look like a kid.
I took Simon's hand and dragged him further. "Let's dance."
We started swaying to the music. This was fun but I had a reason to be here.
"So, how has the band practice been?"
"Not good. Eric isn't writing any songs and all our previous ones are…" he trailed off.
"Not popular," I chimed in.
"If you want to put it kindly, yeah. We were teasing him about his writing and he just took it personally. Anyways, we don't know what to do or sing."
An uneasy feeling crept up my spine. "You know, you can attend one of his poetry slams and apologize."
He sighed. "I don't know. Anyways, I'll go grab you a drink."
I gave him a small smile and nod. He disappeared from my sight as I walked to the corner and shut my eyes. Focusing on my breathing, I tried to connect to my heart when I felt something closing in on me. I gasped and my eyes flew open. I looked around. No one was there. I rubbed some warmth into my arms, when I felt a tug. I followed it. I pushed through the crowd when someone slammed into me.
I groaned while rubbing my nose as my eyes watered. "Hey! Watch where you're going!"
I looked up and my eyes met a pair of golden ones. The boy stood motionless and eyed me.
My brows rose. Did I know him? I said, "What are you doing? Get out of my way…"
His jaw dropped and he hissed. "You can see me?"
I opened my mouth to speak and then paused. Is he implying that I shouldn't be able to see him? My heart raced and I struggled to frame a sentence.
I narrowed my eyes. "Are you… Should I not see you?" I asked.
He shook his head and looked over my head before meeting my eyes. "You should go back home, little girl."
He started walking past me when I grabbed his wrist, his skin warm on mine. He looked back at me and then looked down at his wrist. My heart raced as I let him go. "I… Who are you?"
He searched my face and whispered, "You are trouble… Go back, and don't come here…"
My lips parted, as he walked away. My mom didn't want me to come here and he just said the same. So, the answers were here… I stood there for a long moment when I noticed a couple staring at me like I was out of my mind. I stared back. They looked away and stomped off. Shaking my head, I looked around. I had seen him. I shouldn't have. Was he my answer?
I searched around the Pandemonium for him. Where was he? I looked around when I saw Simon pushing through the crowd. I muttered a curse. He was looking for me. I didn't have much time. I turned away from him and my breathing started to get heavy. My body started to grow numb and a rush of light and peace enveloped me. Thank God! Black spots danced in my vision and soon enough, all I could see was the dark.
Soon the images started to become clear in my mind's eye.
The blonde boy I had just walked into, pointed to the middle of the room. "There! Look! Right there!"
The blue-eyed boy said, "Izzy..."
Izzy smirked and glided towards a boy with snake like eyes, a whip slithering down her arm. "You will answer me!"
A green-eyed boy with silver blonde hair met my gaze. He leaned into me and whispered, "Make them pay…"
I felt myself breathe as my awareness of my body returned. I opened my eyes. I guess I knew where to look.
My eyes trained onto the boy with the snake eyes. 'Fae…' A voice whispered in my mind. I rolled my eyes. 'I am definitely not going crazy.'
A girl appeared and grabbed his arm. My eyes widened. Izzy? She wore a white gown that covered her completely. My eyes went straight to her wrist as if expecting her whip to just pop out of nowhere. I rolled my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. This wasn't right. I saw her leading the boy to a separate room. I looked around searching for any signs of the other two boys. And I found them. They wore all black clothes and had a dagger in each hand. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. How did they get past the security? Right… can't be seen…
I exhaled and tried to diminish the panic I was feeling and squeezed my eyes shut. Breathe Clary! Breathe! I had to do something and like the genius I am, I followed them. The rational part of my brain was telling me to not get myself into unnecessary trouble but I knew I would find answers in that room. Answers that will keep me alive. Keeping an indifferent look on my face, slowly, I opened the door and crept in, the wood slightly creaking under my feet.
"Tell me! Who sent you?"
I flinched but managed to remain silent.
"Valentine."
A familiar voice growled. "Valentine is dead! You fool!"
"Now, tell me! Who sent you?"
"You don't choose to believe me but that doesn't change the truth. Valentine is alive and has been for quite some time. He is the one who sent me."
"You!-"
"Jace! That's enough! I think he is telling the truth."
"Really Izzy?"
"The demon we hunted before said the same thing. In fact, this has been going around for quite some time."
My eyes widened. Demons?
Jace asked, "How do you know that?"
"I have connections in the shadow market."
"Fine, then kill him."
What? They couldn't kill someone! I bit my lip. This was bad. I had to do something. I looked around the room. There were shelves stacked up all around me. There had to be something. A metal rod caught my eye. Yes! This will do. I mustered up all the courage I could and held it up with my trembling hands all the while contemplating how to escape if things got bad. I should just leave, but I didn't have a choice. I just hoped the one I did have wasn't a wrong one.
I needed to know.
