"The work is hard, the boss is terrifying, but the pay and the company perks are excellent. Certainly beats being on army benefits." Employee review of a Nerv Security Guard. Dated 24th January 2015.
XVII
The moment the apartment door slid open, Shinji felt like Izanagi descending into the underworld. Nothing but chaos and darkness lay before him.
"Well it isn't much, but home sweet home." Misato said cheerfully.
That's putting it mildly. Shinji grimaced.
The apartment was a tip, strewn with clothes and empty beer cans, cutlery left dirty in the sink. He'd seen battlefields less messy than this.
I'd never let my home get into such a state. Shinji inwardly winced at the thought of the dust gathering on his windowsills, as Misato leisurely dumped a bag of groceries on the floor.
Not that I'm ungrateful. It's been a long, long time since anyone put themselves out for me like this. A momentary sickness gripped his gut as the face of a young soldier with a gentle smile came to mind. Let old ghosts rest. It's what he'd want.
"Do you mind putting the food away?" Misato had half disappeared into her bedroom. "I'm getting changed into something more comfortable."
"Of course, Katsuragi-san." Shinji gave a polite bow of the head. Misato looked tempted to correct him, then shook her head and slid her bedroom door shut behind her.
Shinji looked in the shopping bag he held and the one left on the floor, both filled to the brim. Miles away from the meals he made from scratch back home, the packaged, plastic food was disorderedly piled on top of each other.
Don't think I've ever had this much in my cupboards.
He began to unpack and found Misato's empty grocery cupboards easily enough. Opening them, Shinji couldn't help but look around inside in wonder.
I've never seen cupboards this big either. Good grief, I could store two weeks' worth of food in here. He pulled his head out. This place is a palace, but she's made it such a tip.
Guilt scratched at him. It was impolite to judge someone else for the state of their home, no matter how messy it was. Misato had a busy job. She must have been too exhausted for any of this when she got home.
Hence the microwavable food. Awful quality but a lifesaver if you're in a hurry.
Since his teacher had died, Shinji had never really been in a hurry.
Having filled up the cupboards, Shinji moved on to the fridge and freezer, only to see two of them, one grey and one white, sit on opposite sides of the kitchen.
Two big ones? I've scarcely got enough room for a medium sized one.
"Katsuragi-san." He called out.
"Yeah?" Came the muffled response.
"Which fridge do you want the food to go in? You've got two so I'm not sure…"
"White one. Don't touch the grey one. He's real cranky when he's sleeping."
"Alright." Shinji turned to carry on then paused. "Sleeping?"
He shook his head. "No. I must have misheard."
Shinji finished unpacking in short order and neatly folded the bags of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he'd seen a bag handle poking out from under the sofa.
What a mess. It'll take me hours to clear all this away…Shinji tried to catch himself there. This was someone else's mess to clean up, not his. Still, I'll be here for a few weeks. Might as well assess the damage. And I will not live in squalor.
The apartment was open plan like his, except modern and much bigger. The kitchen directly connected to the lounge, from which a corridor ran to the front door. There seemed to be three rooms connected to it, one of them doubtlessly being a bathroom. In particular, the lounge leading out to a balcony caught his eye.
A balcony? He stared in disbelief. Katsuragi-san must make a lot of money for a place like this.
He moved into the lounge to survey its carpet. The distribution of beer cans diminished here, with a pair or two of socks lying around.
Oh for…why aren't those in the wash basket…He looked around and saw that the wash basket was overflowing, lid left open. I've got my work cut out.
Shinji sat on the sofa to think over where he'd start first, without even seeing the bathroom and bedrooms, only to realise the sofa's comfort. Two days' worth of exhaustion almost immediately overcame him.
Wouldn't hurt to stay here a bit…He yawned and felt his eyelids become heavier. Momentarily, he was surprised by the large television staring him in the face, completely missed in his earlier analysis of the apartment. Huh. Never really watched television before…might be nice…
"Shinji-kun." Came a soft voice as a hand gently shook him awake. Misato stood at his side, in those blue shorts and yellow t-shirt he'd seen in the photo; there were worse things to wake up to. Notably, her cross was gone.
Shinji shook away the bleariness. "Sorry. Was I asleep?"
"Yeah. You've been out cold for ten minutes." Misato smiled. "You've had a busy couple of days, kiddo. Can't blame you for being exhausted."
"Mm." Shinji stood up and stretched. "Would you like me to make dinner?"
"No." She blinked in momentary confusion. "Would have put it on myself, but I didn't want to interrupt your beauty sleep."
"Sorry."
"Don't be!" Misato waved the apology away. "Now come on. Let's get all that ramen into the microwave. I'm famished."
Dinner was prepared within ten minutes, faster than Shinji was used to. Then again, he didn't eat plastic for a living. The scent of fish, rice and pork wafted through his nostrils, but Shinji only tenderly picked at his meal.
Teacher would have cuffed me round the ears for eating rubbish like this.
Misato had already gotten through two beer cans. Her pretty cheeks slowly began to redden as her smile grew bigger.
"Doesn't get much better than this, eh Shinji-kun!?" Control over her volume had already been lost, as a normal question turned into a drunken bellow.
"Y-yes, Katsuragi-san." Shinji nodded in placation. There were kids at camp Atami who held their liquor better than this.
"Not hungry?" She noted, swinging her long legs beneath the table. "I can go digging around for something else if you'd like?"
"No, this is fine."
"Oh? Am I that distracting to you, is that why?" Her smile broadened as Shinji's cheeks turned hotter than the sun.
"N-not at all, I just…"
"Then you'd best eat up, Shinji-kun! There was a time when they wasn't any food."
Embarrassment and confusion briefly gave way to solemn memory, at which Shinji could only nod. "Yeah. I don't know if anyone's had it rougher than us."
"Your generation or mine?" Misato sipped her beer.
"I don't know. Both, maybe?" He sat back. "Growing up in the aftermath was bad enough, but I can't imagine what it was like for people to live through."
"Well imagine no more, because I was there!" Misato triumphantly threw out her arms. "Believe me, it was shit."
"I'll take your word for it."
A silence hung in the air as Shinji still picked out his food, a little overwhelmed by it all.
She's taken me into her home and fed me. It isn't the best quality food but it's the most I've ever had. She…He silently flitted his gaze up at Misato, who'd already gulped down another can of beer. She must be doing this to get me to stay. That's the only possible explanation.
Misato clearly noticed him shooting glances at her and pouted. "Well, what is it? Are you finnicky?"
"No, of course not! I'm sorry for giving you that impression." Shinji tripped over his own words whilst Misato rolled her brown eyes.
"You don't have to be such a drama queen, Shinji-kun. Come on, be a man!" She playfully slammed the table to make her point.
"Yes, ma'am!" He flinched, arms instinctively half raised to protect his face before he stopped them. His new flatmate frowned, a flicker of curiosity in her eyes, then smoothed it over.
"Ugh, yes and no all the time. I guess that's just the way it is with you." She smiled. "Could be worse, you could have ended up like me."
They both chuckled at that, one louder than the other. Shinji still felt uncomfortable beneath her gaze. He hadn't eaten with anyone in years, so his memory on dining etiquette was foggy at best. Misato meanwhile watched his every move.
Nothing like Ayanami-san though. This wasn't a machine deep in calculation. Indeed, it reminded him more of Dr Tenka checking him over. He'd worried her.
Great, I've already freaked out my host. Why is it so hard to be around people?
Shinji's hunger eventually overpowered his discomfort, and he managed to get down quite a bit. Soon after, despite her protestations that "it could be done later", he'd started washing up the dishes.
Misato had made it through another two cans whilst he worked and already burbled a few absurdities to herself from time to time. In this placated mood, Shinji plucked up the courage to ask a question.
"You must be very busy, Katsuragi-san."
"Eh?" She tilted her head.
Can't you see the mess!? He suppressed a sigh.
"I mean, the floor could be clearer."
She surveyed her small kingdom and shrugged. "It's got no legs. Won't be going anywhere anytime soon."
Yes. Which means it'll just build up and build up…
"Alright." He forced himself to accept it. "Whilst I'm here, I'll give it a clearing out."
"You would!?" Misato beamed. "Oh thank you, Shinji-kun. You're such a gentleman." A long arm reached out and pulled him into an embrace.
He froze momentarily. How long had it been since he'd been hugged? "Hm, yes, thank you, Katsuragi-san. I just need to…" He pried himself free and breathed easy again.
"I'll get started on it now." He put aside those thoughts of warmth he'd not felt in so long and walked over to the bin.
"Katsuragi-san." He observed the pile of cans that resided next to the bin. "What exactly happened here?"
"…I tried to throw them in." She said, as if it were obvious.
"Why didn't you pick them up?"
"I did. Then I tried again."
The gears of Shinji's brain coasted to a stop as Misato drunkenly giggled to herself.
My roommate is a lunatic. Great. Just great.
Resigned to the chaos, he gathered the cans together and filled the bin to near overflow with them. He was just tying the black bin bag handled together before Misato spoke up.
"I'll handle that." She pushed herself to her feet, leaving Shinji vaguely impressed that only her speech was off a bit; everything else worked just fine.
"It really isn't-" He began but Misato wouldn't hear it.
"Don't be so mild, Shinji-kun. You're a boy, you shouldn't be housebroken for another few years at least!"
Shinji stammered a bit as she sauntered over and took the bag out of his hands. She'd made it halfway to the door before suddenly pausing, as if struck by a thought.
"You've had a long day." She mused aloud before nodding to herself. "You should have a bath."
"…You have a bath?" Shinji's eyes widened. A shower was the most he'd known for washing himself down in more than a decade.
When was the last time I had a bath…would have been when mother was alive. His heart sank into his shoes, but he hid it well.
"Sure! Bathroom's the first one to your right in the corridor." Misato pointed.
"I…I can use it?"
"…yes. I wouldn't be offering otherwise."
"Oh, sorry!"
"No need to-" she checked herself and shook her head. "Just go on you little scamp."
Shinji gave a polite bow, then went off to find the bathroom. It proved to be right where she said. He placed a hand on the door, pausing as he heard Misato drunkenly exit the apartment with a clatter.
Strange woman.
He slid the door open. The bathroom dwarfed his own lounge, but that wasn't what made him stop in his tracks.
A mountain of black and white feathers, in which were set a pair of beady black eyes above a shiny black beak, stood directly in front of him. At first it seemed just as taken aback by him. Then it loudly inhaled through its nostrils and screamed.
Shinji didn't even flinch.
"No." He turned around and made his way back to the kitchen. "No. No. No."
He poured a glass of water for himself and sat down again on Misato's couch. Sipping it, he reassured himself.
You've been through a lot. Your mind is playing tricks on you. There isn't an Emperor Penguin in Katsuragi-san's bathroom.
The giant bird slid on its belly into the kitchen as if on que. Coasting to a stop just by the white fridge, it stood upright and used its massive wing to retrieve a can of beer from it.
Shinji laughed. "This isn't happening."
It shot him a look, one that struck Shinji as "confused." It screamed at him again, making the exact same noise. Although he knew little of them, he did wonder if this was a penguin's version of a challenge, of a "who are you?"
Shinji turned away and sipped his water some more.
Misato shuffled back into the kitchen, bin bag disposed of. "Yeesh, Pen-pen. You're noisy today." She ruffled its head.
"It has a name?" Shinji said.
Misato winced and shut her eyes. "Ah fuck, I didn't mention did I?"
"No. You didn't."
"Well, this is Pen-pen. You're other roommate." Misato's tone became fond.
"You have a pet Emperor Penguin called Pen-pen?"
"No." She scratched the back of the bird's neck. "No, he's not a pet." Misato frowned. "I thought you were having a bath?"
"The bathroom was in use." He nodded at Pen-pen.
"Ah." She chuckled. "Sorry, boys. That must have come as a shock to you both."
As if he knew he was being spoken to, Pen-pen rumbled in response. Shinji quickly downed his water and stood up.
"I'm guessing he's finished with it?"
"Sure. Was probably just having a shower."
"Right." Shinji left it at that. Once in Misato's massive bathroom, he made sure to slide the door behind him then slumped against it.
What the fuck have I gotten myself into?
Temptation to call Nerv and ask for that single bed apartment crossed his mind, but he hesitated. It would be quieter, of course, but was that necessarily a good thing?
Around her, he'd laughed more than he'd done in a very long time. Misato was mad, but life itself followed her around it seemed. The atmosphere became just that bit lighter.
And noisier. Shinji smiled a little, hearing Misato's load burbles through the walls. He decided to go ahead and like her.
A few hours later, bathed and belly full of warm food and hot tea, Shinji lay in his new bed. Misato had kindly surrendered the master bedroom to him, another act of generosity he struggled to make sense of.
I get that she wants me to stay, but isn't this laying it on a bit thick?
Lights turned out, he lay on his back, earphones in. Classical music usually soothed him, but today he couldn't stop thinking. Just a few nights ago, he'd mulled over whether to come here, in total ignorance of the ordeal that lay ahead. His eyes narrowed.
If I knew what I know now, I'd have torn that letter up. My father can go fuck himself.
Sleep would come, with all the unpleasantries that followed. For a macabre change, his thoughts were filled with slashing blades of light instead of Chinese artillery. Compared to the usual, it was novel, Shinji chuckled humourlessly.
My life is a train wreck.
There was a knock on the door.
"Can I come in, Shinji-kun?" Came Misato's muffled voice.
"Of course." He quickly took out his earphones.
The door slid open. Wrapped in nothing but a towel, Misato's curvaceous from stood silhouetted by the corridor lights. Shinji did his best to focus on her face.
"I just wanted to say, you did a very noble thing yesterday. You should be proud." She said.
Shinji couldn't think of what to say. He'd sought praise for so long, from his father no less, that now he got it from an admittedly unexpected source, he didn't know what to do with it.
"I'll let you sleep. Big day tomorrow with you starting your training and all." Misato said. "Goodnight, Shinji-kun."
Before the door slid close, Shinji forced himself to speak.
"Thank you, Katsuragi-san."
She paused, and although the corridor light silhouetted her, he could make out a smile on her lips. The door slid shut, leaving him in darkness.
Shinji folded his arms behind his head as he let drowsiness take hold. Misato's words temporarily suppressed all thought of his past, his father, and that terrible creature with its terrible power.
Gratitude. Someone had shown him gratitude.
Today is a day for things I haven't been given in a long time.
His eyelids grew heavier. "Noble, huh?"
