Gendo Ikari is a curious man. I was parted from my daughters unwillingly. I lost them. But he…he gave his son up. His own flesh and blood. What could make someone do that? Marshal Chiso Motichka's opinion on Nerv's CEO
XXIII
Long, wide and dark, the office was clearly designed to overwhelm all who entered. It worked on Shinji, who felt his back almost bend beneath the pressure, but his blood boiled a little too much for him to completely capitulate. His father hadn't spoken to him once since the day he'd arrived. No phone call, no letter, not even a visit whilst he was in hospital.
Shinji desperately would have liked to believe otherwise, but it seemed clear his father didn't much care for him. In time he could have made peace with that, but this? This raked cold fingers down his spine and filled his chest with white hot anger.
He'd been summoned here because he'd hurt Rei. His replacement.
The worst part was he knew what he'd done warranted this.
Shinji stopped a good ten metres from his father's desk. The man sat with nose rested on laced together hands, his icy blue gaze observing him from behind orange spectacles. At his left stood an older man Shinji now knew to be the Chairman of the Board.
Kozo Fuyutsuki…The name, and the face, rang a few bells but little more.
Father and son stood there for a while, appraising each other. Shinji had dropped his gaze quickly after realising how impassive Gendo's expression was. This was simply a game of dominance he had no wish to play.
Just get on with it.
"You called me?" Shinji said.
"Yes."
More silence.
Shinji sighed. "Look. I am sorry about hitting your toy. I don't much like her, but that was wrong."
"Rei-" Gendo emphasised. "-is an invaluable asset. I'd rather you didn't damage her."
"Can't you just make another one?" Shinji sneered.
"That would take time and resources I'd rather not waste. As I have said, she is an invaluable asset."
"Well." Shinji said acidly. "I promise not to damage your asset again. Far more valuable than me, anyway."
Gendo blinked at that. "Rei can be replaced at great expense. You cannot. Your loss would be regrettable."
"Oh wow, thanks father."
"Shinji…"
"Don't 'Shinji' me!" The teenager snapped, fist balling. "You lost the right to that the moment you made that thing. Let alone when you called me here to be that Seraph's chew toy."
He glowered at his father for a few moments, then dropped his gaze again. He squeezed his anger out through his fist. "How is the First Child anyway? I didn't hurt her too bad did I?"
Her? It. Don't be naïve.
"Hmph, please." To Shinji's surprise, Gendo harrumphed, as if his pride had been insulted. "Rei is a clone, quite physically superior to most normal humans. As I understand it, you came off worse after your incident."
"What's it to you?"
"I need my pilots at peak performance."
Shinji snorted at that. "I thought as much."
I'm just an asset to be discarded, aren't I?
Once again, nothing was said between father and son for a while. So much so that Shinji's discomfort faded just enough for it to turn into annoyance.
"If that's it, then I'll be going."
"Not yet." Gendo took off his glasses and massaged his eyelids. Unobstructed by those orange lenses, it chilled Shinji to see just how alike their eyes were. Down to the exact shade, they were both cerulean blue.
"Well? What is it?" Shinji snapped.
"Do not mistake me." Gendo said. "An Eva pilot's value is one a million, their military value absolute. That aside, you are my son."
"Oh, bullshit." Shinji snarled. "I'm the Third Child. Ayanami-san is the First Child, which leaves the Second and a whole conveyor belt of others unaccounted for. Don't mock me, sir. I'm a substitute and everyone knows it." He let his burst of anger suppress the lump in his throat that had welled up at the moment Gendo Ikari called him "son."
He's just trying to trick me.
"Half wrong, but still astute." Gendo folded his hands. "There are approximately a dozen other active Eva pilots, although only five of them are truly effective. The remaining seven are back-ups."
"Twelve?" Shinji tilted his head. "Then what the hell am I here for?"
"The pilots and their units are currently overseas. We have a further five Evas waiting for deployment to Japan. Unfortunately, the Seraph attacked sooner than we anticipated. With Rei injured, you were my only option."
His hunch had been right. That day he'd been driven into Levav Base the situation had been utterly desperate. Still, Shinji didn't much like an accident and a miscalculation of logistics putting his life on the line.
"Well, it's good to know that I won't be needed here soon."
"Indeed."
Once again, the gap between father and son was filled with silence. At that point, Shinji noticed Fuyutsuki hadn't said a word throughout the entire exchange. He just stood there as if he were Gendo's shadow.
This whole company is an extension of him. It's no surprise.
"You are dismissed." Gendo said.
"Yeah." Shinji muttered and turned away. The guards opened the doors as he marched towards them, already gritting his teeth a little.
Dismissed? Really am just another employee to you, aren't I?
"Shinji."
He paused and tiredly looked back at his father.
"Rei is neither you or your mother's replacement." Gendo said. "I am a wholly inadequate father, but I wouldn't do that to you."
You could have heard a pin drop. Shinji didn't realise he was holding his breath. His skin tingled as he stood rooted to the spot. This was not only a confirmation of parenthood, it was a declaration. It was everything he'd ever wanted.
"We will meet again shortly. Now, I have business to attend to." Gendo slid his glasses back on.
Strong hands, those of Gendo's guards, clasped Shinji's shoulder and gently frog marched him out of the room.
The doors shut behind him and he was out in that cold steel corridor, its harsh artificial light straining his eyes. Shinji had to lean against the wall for support. A disbelieving smile spread across his lips.
Maybe…maybe he does care after all?
The doors shut. The crack of light was snuffed out, and his son was shut out. Gendo sat in darkness once more.
"That was cruel, sir." Kozo whispered.
"Yes."
Bile bit at the back of Gendo's throat. He'd done some despicable things over the years, but stringing along the son he'd completely failed, to keep him loyal and keep him here, made his stomach turn inside out.
Yui, my love. I am so lost without you.
But it wasn't a complete lie. Rei had not been created to replace his wife or his son. And there were many, many things he'd never wanted done to the only bit of light he'd put into this world. This truth, with some spin, would suffice.
Some positive reinforcement and the promise of 'quality time' that'll never come should be more than sufficient to keep him here.
"Some hints of affection and attention you can never truly give in full, coupled with a sprinkle of positive reinforcement. He won't be going anywhere for a while with that carrot dangling in front of him." Kozo shook his head. "You are a bastard, sir."
Gendo made no effort to dispute him. "What is your assessment on the First and Third Children?"
"Maybe you shouldn't have informed the Third of his links to the First." Kozo said. "But you believed he'd find out sooner or later."
"No." Gendo said. "I did not believe Shinji would have discovered Rei's heritage. I know he would have. Better to get that nastiness over and done with."
Gendo heaved himself out of his seat and silently cursed the tingling of the aches and pains associated with aging. He'd even spotted a few more flecks of grey in the mirror that morning.
"He's no fool." Pride twinged its way into his tone. "He guessed there were far more Eva pilots than himself or Rei without anyone's input."
Another ten years and you could probably play this game well, my son. You've got the attention span for it.
"Let's hope he doesn't think too hard. Given how many secrets we need to keep." Kozo frowned.
"It would avail him nothing if he did. Things are in motion that none of us can stop."
