4/14 Afternoon


My hands were clenched so tightly in front of me that I could feel them begin to cramp. Despite the rising urge to let them go slack, it was all I could do to stay calm. To keep the sight out of my eyes, the horrible sound of concrete and bone snapping from filling my ears. The chattering around me and the clamoring of the police struggling to keep the media off school grounds did little to help. A whimper made its way out of my throat and I nearly made the mistake of closing my eyes, only just managing to stop myself. If I did, I would see him, twitching on the ground.

Kurokuya Kouzai. I wanted to think better of him. To think that the rumors surrounding him were just that. When he left me in the library the first day, I chalked it up to nerves. With how his record had been leaked, he probably wanted to be on his own. He seemed the loner type, which just so happened to coincide with a couple of the versions of him I imagined.

Then he left me hanging a second time. Normally, I'd try to at least give him the benefit of the doubt once more. New environment, stressful situation, completely understandable. It was when I heard that he was associating with Sakamoto that I started to doubt giving him those benefits. I understood the need for friends, but there were far better people to form that sort of relationship with. I had far more important tasks to take care of that I was getting distracted by because of this one that was put on my lap, I didn't need to have my time taken for granted.

However, I was still willing to be reasonable about it. A simple conversation between peers to iron out the particulars of how to respect my time. He quickly proved how pointless that was when he snapped at me. When I saw how clenched up his fist was, I was honestly kind of scared. It spoke to how good I was at managing my emotions that I was able to defuse the situation at all after that display.

After that, I decided I was done with him. That I didn't care about all of the ridiculous rumors surrounding him, no matter how exaggerated they may be. He was a delinquent that just fooled me through that polite mask he put up. Him not respecting my time was his own problem, not mine.

Then he flung himself out of a window to save Suzui-san. I was just in the hallway intersecting the courtyard when it happened, watching him hang from the broken windowsill. Seeing Suzui on the roof was a shock all on its own, but when Kouzai-san actually, somehow, caught her, I thought that was going to be the end of it. He was even pulling her back up, so that meant it had to be over, right?

Him falling the rest of the way down, knocking the back of his head right over where I was in the hall and landing behind the wall in front of me dispelled me of that notion. I don't know what I was thinking in that moment, but I closed the distance between me and the window to get a look at him. Even now, I could still see his arms twitching underneath him, the back of his head cut open, blood spilling-

A chocked sob forced its way from my lips, my hands finally coming loose from their vice grip. The muscles in them felt like old leather, the bones groaning like old wood as they covered my face, wiping at the tears forming in the corner of my eyes.

"Niijima-san?" The sudden voice causes me to nearly jump out of my seat, letting out a small gasp as I reoriented myself. My homeroom teacher, Chouno-sensei, was in front of my desk, a hand resting on it.

"Y-yes?" I choked out, my throat bouncing in my neck as I took a large gulp of air.

"You alright?"

"Fine." The answer came out far too quickly. She looked unconvinced, but let it slide as she straightened herself out.

"The principal just called. A couple of detectives are here to question some of the students. He wants you to join them."

'Why?' I almost bark out in frustration, the muscles in my neck turning into rebar from how taught they were. She must have noticed something on my face as she quickly spoke up again.

"Seeing a familiar face would help keep everyone at ease." I forced the laugh that threatened to escape into a cough, only responding with a nod. I didn't wait for anything else she might've had to say as I got up from my chair, the screeching sound it made cutting through the hushed whispers that permeated throughout the room.

"Why the hell did she do that?"

"It was insane."

"My mom's been texting me nonstop."

"You think that guy with the record is alright?"

"A part of me kinda hopes that if he is, he doesn't come back."

I slam the door shut harder than I needed to. My head twitches back and forth, every thought in it coming through like a dull haze of static that chiseled at the inside of my skull. After walking a few steps down the hall, it becomes so constant that I have to put a hand on the wall in order to brace myself, taking a series of deep, long breaths in order to calm down.

'Some will tell you that it gets easier, the more of them you do.' Dad's voice breaks through the fog, a memory from a time that seemed farther than it was taking root in my mind's eye. 'That's a lie. It's never gotten any easier for me.'

'Then how do you do it?' I asked, my boundless enthusiasm overriding the sadness I should have felt when he said that. He smiled, small, but it made me feel so happy whenever he showed it at that age.

'I have to remember that I have a responsibility to these people. To help them through to the end, no matter what comes, so that they can live safer and happier.' He put a hand on my head, rubbing it back and forth, making me giggle. 'That's how I do it, Makoto. That's what keeps me going.' The irony of that last part brought up feelings I thought I had finally managed to move past. Even so, the words he shared so long ago made the fugue in my head slip away, bringing clarity to the incoherent mess that my thoughts had been for the past couple of hours. The sight of Kouzai-san on the ground flashes before me one more time, but instead of feeling faint or scared, my body tenses up, resolute. With one deep breath, I blink the scene away, steeling myself for the task at hand.

Pushing off the wall, I make my way to the principal's office, no evidence of unease in my steps. We may not have gotten along as well as I hoped, but I had a responsibility to Kouzai-san irregardless of that fact. To Suzui-san. To this school and its students.

Soon I find myself in front of the door to Kobayakawa-sensei's office. I could make out some voices from behind the closed curtain on his window, one of them I immediately recognized despite how quiet they were. The back of my head went tight at the fact that he was here, but I ignored it and knocked on the door.

"Come in." Kobayakawa-sensei's voice hurriedly shouted through the door. Doing so, I stepped inside. "Ah, Niijima-san. Good of you to come." I bow after closing the door.

"Of course, principal. I'm happy to help in any way that I can." Stading up straight, I bring my hands together in front of my stomach to help keep my nerves under control, looking to the familiar detectives in the room. Kiyoshi Huang gave me one of his crooked little grins, tipping his cap to me.

"Hey there kid. I'd say it's nice to see you, but given the circumstances..." He trailed off, waving a hand in the air. Despite being referred to as a kid, Huang had his own gruff charm that I always liked about him that made it sound as though he was an old relative when he said it. Given how long I knew him, he practically was, him just being here doing wonders for the tension in my body.

"Likewise, Niijima-san." The same could not be said for his partner, my lips thinning just a fraction as I turned to face him. Akechi's trademark, camera friendly smile was stuck on his face. The usual feelings of irritation that I felt every damn time I saw it began to rise up in the pit of my stomach, so I bowed again to the both of them to hide whatever traces of irritation that I didn't trust myself not to show on my face.

"It's nice to see you both, Huang-san, Akechi-san." Coming back to full attention, I pointedly ignore Akechi and stare ahead at Kobayakawa. I can feel him look at me a moment longer before turning away. My hands clench, small cracks in my knuckles popping off.

It was childish, unprofessional, and above all just flat out stupid, but I just couldn't help feeling annoyed and tense whenever I was around Goro Akechi. His charm that worked on all of my peers, turning them into swooning romantics only ever made me roll my eyes or get a headache. It's not like there was anything obvious that I could even point to about him as a person. He was an accomplished detective the same age as me, so really, I should have felt inspired by his example, used it as encouragement for the path I was eventually going to go down.

But then he would just smile that ever perfect smile of his and I couldn't help the feeling that he was looking down on me. Pandering to a girl he pretended to get along with. It didn't help that it was the smile he used when talking to everyone else around him. Even now, he was staring ahead at Kobayakawa with it.

"Did Chouno-sensei explain why you were called here, Niijima-san?" Thankfully, Kobayakawa's question breaks through the rising tension in my head.

"She told me that since Huang and Akechi are going to be interviewing students, it would help if there was a familiar face with them." Huang shifted beside me as I answered.

"Again, I'd prefer it if we just talked to them on our own. Niijima-san probably has enough on her plate right now." I felt a bit of gratitude for Huang's concern, but I also couldn't help feel a bit put down at being pushed to the side, even if it was for my own good.

"I have to agree on that front." Then the gratitude turned into indignation as Akechi spoke up, the kind pitch to his voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard to me. "Given the situation, Niijima and the student body likely need a moment to calm down and collect themselves." While I couldn't disagree with what he said, especially given my earlier state of thought, the words still sounded like an insult coming from him. "If it's an issue of approachability, I believe I have that covered, given I'm still in high school myself." He let out a staged chuckle. I had to hold back the scoff that threatened to rip out of my throat.

"I have no problem helping them with their task, sensei." I spoke with complete authority in my voice, cutting across Akechi's attempt at reassurance.

"Hence why I called you here. If there's anyone here that can help with your investigation into this incident, it would be Niijima-san here, gentlemen." Kobayakawa smiled widely as he gestured a hand towards me. I could spy Akechi's eyes narrowing just a fraction, and I couldn't help the feeling of satisfaction that spread throughout me at the sight.

"Well, if she says so." Huang grumbled to himself, scratching the back of his neck. "What can you tell us about the two students? Shiho Suzui and-"

"Kurokuya Kouzai." Kobayakawa interrupted, eyes closing as he shook his head. Huang's expression perked up at the interruption and shift in the principal's mood. Even I was somewhat off put by the change in attitude. "While I can't speak for him, Shiho Suzui had displayed no attitude or behavior that would indicate she was contemplating such a... well." Kobayakawa loosened his tie, sweat beginning to form on his brow, his bald head glistening from the sun shining through the blinds behind him.

"Was she struggling in any subjects? Or were her grades dropping unexpectedly?" Huang asked again, Akechi only leaning against the wall, arms crossed and eyes boring into the principal, smile still in place. Kobayakawa looked to me, and for a moment I failed to understand what he wanted. I let out a small gasp before I spoke up.

"No, nothing like that from what I know." I stammered out. "She was a part of the volleyball team. A star player from what I've heard, some teachers saying she could get a scholarship through it." While I didn't know Suzui-san personally, it was easy enough to learn about someone in this school from just listening to everyone around you. She was popular among the student body given how hard she worked in the volleyball club every day.

"Very true, Niijima-san. Which is why it's all the more shocking she would do something like this." Kobayakawa leaned back in his chair, letting out a heavy sigh. "Such a waste." He muttered, and I blinked at the choice of words.

"Is there a teacher we could talk to? Outside of homeroom?"

"Suguru Kamoshida would be the man you're looking for." Kobayakawa's face lit up, eyes trailing over to the trophy case in the wall next to his desk. "He's helped really turn this school into a beacon of Tokyo's bright youth. If anyone can give you the help you need, it's him." His face shifted again, eyes furrowing. "Although, he hasn't come in today yet." I tilted my head at that. From what I knew, Kamoshida was always one of the earliest staff members here, working early with the volleyball team. Was he sick?

"I take it he didn't call in?" Kobayakawa nodded, a concerned look overtaking his face. "Is that like him?"

"No, it isn't." Kobayakawa folded his hands on top of his desk, fingers digging deep into his knuckles.

"Any issues at home?" Akechi finally spoke up, for once the condescending lilt to his voice I always heard in it not present. I looked to him, noting that his smile had fallen a small bit, more polite than jovial as he liked too usually do it.

"None that I know of." The principal shook his head. Akechi looked to me and I couldn't help but tense slightly at the intensity in his gaze.

"I haven't heard anything like that, no." He stared at me a moment longer before turning back to Kobayakawa and nodding.

"Where is she now?"

"After making a call to her parents, her father came from work and rushed her home before the police could arrive." Kobayakawa closed his eyes and dipped his head forward, grabbing a handkerchief from his suit to dab at his forehead. "I hope that doesn't complicate things for you."

Akechi closed his eyes as his smile widened, looking like it would split his face. "Not at all."

"What about the other students who've left the school? Sakamoto, Takamaki, and Kouzai?" Huang interceded, flipping through a worn notebook I didn't see him grab, reading off the names.

"Ann Takamaki is friends with Suzui-san." I answered. Before I continued with the other two, I felt my throat go dry and chest tighten up as my mind flicked back to Kouzai-san. "Kurokuya Kouzai is a transfer student new to the school. He's only been here four days." I don't mention that he's on probation. It felt like I'd be slandering him if I did so.

"Hell of a way to start the school year." Huang joked, but there was no humor in his voice as he said it, his eyes hard and focused on his notebook, pen scratching across its pages.

"He's here under probation." Kobayakawa almost spit out, making me flinch at the soft harshness in his voice. "For assault."

"Really?" Akechi opined, brow quirking up slightly at the information. "Doesn't sound like the delinquent type, saving a classmate of his."

"That Sakamoto who went with him to the hospital is, so don't keep your hopes up that they'll be helpful." Huang and Akechi gave each other a glance at the dismissal in the principal's voice. I just stayed quiet between the two of them.

"Well," Akechi chimed up as he clapped his hands together, "I think it's time we get the investigation underway." He pushed off the wall, heading towards the door. Huang stepped in behind him. As he got to the door, he held an arm in front of it, staring at me. Once again, I stood like a deer caught in the headlights, not knowing what to do. It clicked after a second too long, scurrying to follow them out. Exiting the room, I saw Akechi looking back at me, an impassiveness in his eyes. I pushed past him to avoid it.

"I-is there anything I can-"

"Nope. We're good." Huang interceded before closing the door. I turned back to him as he took his cap off, fanning his face. He let out a long, tired sigh as he gave me a sympathetic look. "Nice principal you've got there." He grumbled, brushing past Akechi to join me.

"He's..." The attempt to defend him stops short, a tight pulling in my chest making my breath hitch. "He's just stressed about the situation, is all." I fumble out, not really believing myself.

"So are you, yet you're the one we're working with." Akechi dismissed as he took step beside me. The back of my neck went rigid at the tone, but I ignored it as I walked along with them. "Would you be alright walking us through the scene, Niijima-san?" My head snapped to him, throat drying up at the question.

"We hate to ask ya, but we need to get this figured out as soon as possible. On a bit of a tight leash here." The frustration in Huang's voice was clear as he grumbled the last words out, making me strain to hear them.

Then I remembered what they had asked me to do and my mind just screeched to a halt, actually making me stop in the hallway. Huang and Akechi looked back after walking ahead, eyebrows raised in confusion. The look made me feel so small as I stared back like a deer in the headlights, trying to form an answer but not being able to even stammer out a confused 'what.'

What the hell's wrong with me? I was the student council president. Helping other people, whether they be students or teachers with whatever they asked was what I did. It came naturally to me, so helping a couple of detectives I knew personally should be no problem. It was what I did every single day, so why was I so off balance?

Then Kurokuya is in front of me, glaring down with his black eyes, blood trailing down his face and onto his clenched hands. It feels like all of my muscles are replaced with air, that I'll collapse at any moment and wake up from this insane dream that I was having.

The sound of a cell phone ringing snaps me back to reality, blinking away the image and calling attention to the fact my heart was beating hard enough that I was surprised I heard the annoying, high-pitched tone at all. Goro looks sheepish for a moment before taking the call, hushing a quick apology out and stepping to the side.

"You don't have to do this, Makoto-san." Huang steps in front of me, his voice dropping enough that I could hear some bits from Akechi's conversation. "Just say the word and we'll get someone else." A part of me wants to take that offer. To just sit this out since it was plainly obvious that I wasn't in any condition to be of help to anyone right now.

"... I'm here with her right now." Then I hear Goro. "Why didn't you call her yourself?" I can see his eyes furrow, before closing them and bringing a gloved hand up to rub between them. My back goes cold, every inch of my spine feeling like it turns to ice. "Yes, I understand that but-" He stops short, bringing his phone in front of him before letting out a clipped breath. He outs his phone back in his pocket then turns to us, his staged smile sliding back into place. "Sorry about that, office politics." His injected joviality makes my stomach twist and turn. We lock eyes, and with some satisfaction I can see his smile drop just a bit.

I knew who it was on the phone. Who it was that called him instead of me. I understood, of course. She was busy, having just informed me of a new case that would take a long time for her to work on. Like all the other ones.

"Makoto-san?" I look back to Huang, ignoring his concern as I make my decision.

"I'll do whatever you need, Detective Huang." My lips curl upwards, giving a quick bow to him. "So, I'd be happy to help in any way I can." I straighten back up, forcing my face into a kind, determined visage. Huang still looked unsure, but relented after a few moments, shrugging his shoulders before turning on his heel. I made to follow him, brushing past Akechi and pointedly ignoring the slight exasperation I could see in his expression.

This was what I did. I would help people with whatever they asked, work hard at it and every other aspect of my life so that I would be ready for the future. It's what she taught me to do.

And I'd do whatever I could to help those less fortunate than me. It was my responsibility to do that, with whatever power I had available to me. It's what he taught me to do.

And yet, as I walked down the halls with two seasoned detectives, I still couldn't help but feel a light haze take over my head as we got closer to the floor of broken windows and yellow police tape. Like there was something that was bothering me but I just couldn't find out why or what it was.

For a moment, the halls in front of me shift from their dull grey into fading, overly bright white and yellow hallways, the buzz of fluorescent lights filling my ears. The sound of a child crying reaches my ears, the feeling of a hand coming to rest on my head following soon after.

I blink the imagery away, bringing a hand to wipe away at tears that aren't on my face.

"Everything alright?" Akechi asks.

"I'm fine." I rush out.

"Everything's going to be fine." A voice that I know doesn't belong to anyone present tells me, sounding like a young child's. A voice that reminds me of Kurokuya.

We keep on walking, the haze in my mind only getting worse with each step.


Author's Note


And I'm back. Still taking an ass-numbingly long time between updates. Yay.

On a more serious note, I am trying to be better about the update speed. I'm not going to get into serious detail about my personal life, but it is just a slightly stressful period at the moment financially wise, so my mind just isn't really into writing for long periods of time. Not trying to complain or excuse, but yeah, there it is.

Anywho, here we see Makoto's reaction to Kurokuya's recent defenestration of school property. With this, I wanted to really emphasize her attempts at trying to make herself useful without really calling attention to it (made a very conscious effort to not use the word itself.) The expectations that Kobayakawa places on her due to her position, as well as the rivalry I wanted to demonstrate between her and Goro (something I feel that the game didn't really do a whole lot with despite bringing it up during her arc in game). That, and the overarching, constant pressure she faces with her own sister, who you will very obviously note called Goro and not Makoto, highlighting the REAL reason she doesn't like him.

Makoto feels a constant need to be the best at everything she does due to the expectations of everyone around her, and I REALLY want to get into the damage that has done to her in this story. She tries not to show it, but she is beginning to feel the strain of having all of these responsibilities on her shoulders.

Please do comment and critique, and I hope to see you till the end.