4/14 Afternoon
Ryuji's heel had bounced up and down in the waiting area so much that he was eventually forced to stop, his knee acting up since he stupidly decided to use his injured leg to try and get rid of all the stress that was building up. It didn't help. At all. And now he had a throbbing knee to deal with.
He straightened it out in the hall, a long sigh of relief following as he rubbed it with both hands, sinking his fingers into the joints and rough surface of his bones. For a bit, it actually managed to take his mind off of what was happening.
When he approached Kurokuya about finding some dirt on Kamoshida, expose him for the creep that he was, he didn't expect... well, he had no idea what he was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't this.
A part of him honestly couldn't even believe that what happened really happened . It seemed too unreal, like one of those things you only ever hear about on the news or by a friend who read about it. He'd gotten plenty of both from whatever horror story his mom had heard on the radio or back when one of his friends was just chatting in the changerooms before and after practice. His mind kept going in circles, trying to make sense of it all. It just pumped even more stress into his system, making him fidget on the uncomfortable wall-attached chair he was sitting on.
The obnoxious two-way doors slamming against each other as they swung back and forth finally gave his thoughts a reprieve. Ryuji watched a surgeon as he went to another family in the waiting area, a smile on his face as he removed his mask already lifting their worried expressions. He explained how there were no complications, how everything went as planned, and they threw their arms around the man, crying happily. Ryuji couldn't help but feel anxious and annoyed at the sight.
"Get a grip, man." He shook his head, wiping at the sweat on his forehead with his arm. He took off his school blazer a while ago, having grown too hot from how restless he was. It was scrunched up on his back as a backrest in place of the stiff hospital seats. Even with it, he was nowhere close to actually being comfortable.
Looking at the family made him think of Shiho, how her family must have been reacting to this whole mess. Thinking of her then made him think of Ann, how she was holding up given how close he knew the two were. Not helping was that he heard Ann and Kurokuya apparently got into a fight in the hall. Ryuji knew not to put much faith in the bullshit rumors that Shujin could fill a library with, but he at least counted on them to not come out of nowhere. Slapping someone in the face in the middle of the hall was too specific for the jack-assess he went to school with to make up wholesale. And thinking of Ann just made him find his way back to thinking about Kamoshida again, which only did absolutely wonderful things for his mood.
Ryuji's hand scrunched up on his damaged knee. 'He's responsible.' This, he was absolutely certain of. While he wasn't exactly friends with Shiho, he'd talked to her enough times to confidently say that she was one of the only actual good people who attended that piece of shit school. For her to be driven to... it wasn't like her. At least, he really hoped it wasn't. And Ryuji didn't even want to consider what Kamoshida could have done to Shiho to bring her to that point. It was bad when he was the coach for the track team, but not once did Ryuji's mind ever entertain the idea of taking his own life.
His head completely focused on Shiho, Ryuji was left helpless as his mind unfortunately drifted to the incident that brought him here. He had been in the hallway, sneaking out of class just to get a drink at one of the fountains when people started piling out into the hallway. He tried to ask what was going on, but all he got was shouts of, 'She's on the roof,' and 'She's gonna jump!'
That finally made him push past all of the other students, a sick feeling in his gut making itself known as he rushed to the windows. He pressed himself up against one just in time to hear the shattering of glass as Kurokuya dangled from the third floor, Shiho caught in his hand. He stood there, gawking in shock for only a second before he made a mad dash for the stairs, running as fast as he could to try and reach them in time.
It was when he just cleared the last set of steps for the third floor that his leg decided to act up. Ryuji actually let out a small yelp when his knee seized right as he stepped forward on it, causing him to nearly fall flat on his face since his other leg got snagged on the last clearing. He half hopped, half ran to the windows, cursing under his breath with every step that sent a jolt of pain up his leg.
He, once again, only just made it to the window as he watched Kurokuya push Shiho back inside before he fell to the ground. Despite being on the second floor, Ryuji could somehow hear the sound of Kurokuya falling onto the pavement, the fracturing of asphalt echoing in his ears even now. Once again, he stayed rooted to the spot, not believing what he just saw. Not wanting to believe what he just saw. It took someone screaming their lungs out to get him moving again, running as fast as he could outside, the pain in his leg be damned.
Ryuji all but shoved people to the ground as he made his way to Kurokuya. He was relieved when he saw him moving, which then shifted harshly to terrified as he lost all strength and just flopped on the ground like a dead fish. He went to his phone as fast as he could, calling an ambulance and not giving a rat's ass if anyone else had done so already. What happened next was a blur, the doctors picking Kurokuya up and asking him to come with, which he agreed to in a heartbeat.
And now here he was, just sitting on his ass and panicking on what to do next. If there was anything to do next. He wanted to do something, anything to help, but he had no idea what that even meant, or what help looked like in a situation like this. It made him feel like a complete sack of shit, a thing he was sick and tired of feeling like.
Ryuji heard the crying from the family shift in pitch, so unnoticeable that he probably imagined the sound, but it seemed more like actual, sad crying. It made Ryuji think of someone else that he couldn't help. He quickly batted those thoughts away, shaking his head as he hit the back of it against the wall, staring up at the humming lights. He stared so long that, when another door slammed open, he had to blink away the afterimages that made home in his eyes.
"Where's Kurokuya?!" The man shouting his friend's name made his head snap towards the doors instantly, causing a muscle to snap at the sudden movement and making him yelp in pain. After it died down, Ryuji was able to actually focus on the man in question. The panic on his face was the first thing he noticed, the next being how well dressed he was, which Ryuji knew was a stupid thing to notice considering what was happening right now, but he was really stressed at the moment so his mind just focused on what it could notice first. The first actual thought that made its way through the boy's head at the stranger's entrance was how he even knew Kurokuya.
'His dad, maybe?' Once more, Ryuji's head began to conjure up images he didn't want to think about right now, so he decided to watch the man argue with the nurse at the reception desk.
"Sir, you need to calm down, this is a hospital." The woman warned, honestly scaring Ryuji a little with how stern she sounded without even having to raise her voice. It did its job, managing to get the man to calm down enough to take a breath. "You said you're looking for Kurokuya? How are you related to him exactly?"
"I'm his guardian. Sojiro Sakura." The blond blinked as he reached into his pocket and provided the woman with what he guessed to be his ID.
'Guardian?' Where are his parents?' The man, Sojiro, didn't really look anything like Kurokuya, so it would make sense that they weren't really related. What confused him was that it was this guy that was called instead of someone closer to him. Then Ryuji remembered that his friend was currently on probation, so maybe this guy was the officer that was looking after him. But if that was the case, then why introduce himself as his guardian?
"-and he's been in surgery ever since. That's the classmate who came here with him." The nurse's eyes landed on Ryuji. He stared back at her, worrying that he said something out loud unintentionally. Then Sojiro Sakura's eyes glared into his own, after which Ryuji's ears actually processed the last bit of the conversation he had been prying into.
"Uh-" His throat lurched in his neck and before he could stop himself, he snapped to his feet like a solider standing at attention, his loose suspenders clacking loudly against the chair. All eyes went to Ryuji, which gave him a rare moment of self-consciousness with what he was wearing. His yellow shirt contrasting heavily with the plaid pattern of Shujin's dress pants made him all too aware of how out of place he looked compared to the hospital's simple white on light teal coloring, not at all helped by the 'ZOMG' emblazoned on it in bold, stylized lettering. Sakura's own professional ensemble was just the cherry on top for Ryuji's awkward sundae.
Sakura's eyebrows rose as he scanned over Ryuji, as though he had trouble taking in his appearance. The confusion was quickly replaced with his earlier anger and Ryuji had to remind himself how to breath under the intensity of the man's glare as he made his way over to the student.
"Who the hell're-"
"Ryuji Sakamoto!" He rushed out, causing Sakura to blink at the sudden interruption. The unintentional volume of his introduction made Ryuji freeze up, a quick glance toward the nurse turning his blood cold from her murderous gaze. "Uh, sorry, I'm Ryuji- well, you already know that, so you don't-"
"Stop talking." His jaw closed so fast that he accidentally bit his lip, ignoring the pain and fighting down the yelp that came with it. Sakura took a few calming breaths, removing his glasses to rub at his eyes as he let out a sharp, long stream of air. Ryuji unconsciously flinched when the old man's eyes focused back on him, Sojiro Sakura turning into someone else entirely for a brief flash.
Ryuji could feel his back tighten in anticipation for a strike that he knew wasn't going to come, but felt all too real anyway.
"What happened?" A simple question, but the atmosphere and situation made it feel like its answer held the key to some long-lost treasure, one which Sakamoto felt wholly unequipped to give.
Letting out his own deep breath, he decided that being as honest as possible was the best approach. "One of our classmates tried to jump off the roof." Sakura's eyes widened. Ryuji waved his hands as he continued. "Not Kurokuya. You see, he managed to catch her, but he fell out the window trying to push her back in."
"Jesus Christ." The man mumbled under his breath, taking off his hat and rubbing at his hair.
"Yeah." Sakamoto agreed, his legs beginning to shake as he himself began to digest what he just said. 'More like re-digest.' Even now, there was a part of him that hoped this was just some really freaky lucid nightmare that people sometimes had. If this were a manga, this would be like one of those segments where the main character was being taunted by all his fears after going through a bunch of shitty stuff in his life only to wake sweating and screaming. 'If only.'
Sakura refocused on the high school student, eyes losing some of their earlier anger. "Is he..." He cautioned, hand grasping his hat like a lifeline.
"I don't know." Ryuji closed his eyes and crossed his arms, not being able to look at the man as he was right now. "I mean, he was moving when I got to him and in the ambulance, so maybe that's a good sign?" Sakamoto really, really hoped it was.
"I'll take your word for it." The sigh Sojiro let go was loud and heavy, slouching his shoulders as he crashed into the seat next to Ryuji's, head falling into an open palm. For his part, the blond just stood awkwardly in place, his injured leg continuing to cramp up from his idiotic tapping of its heel. He decided to lean against the wall, lifting the back of his tensing foot to rest against it.
Silence took over between the two, the only noise being the low humming of hospital lights and the spinning of wheels to operating rooms. With every swing of the heavy doors, Ryuji felt his neck get tighter and tighter, as every time he looked to see if the doctor or surgeon coming out would start walking over to him. Once again, he could feel the urge to tap his heel, but was thankfully stopped from doing so by a sudden question.
"So, how do you know him?" His head snapped to Sakura, who was staring ahead at nothing in particular, his spare hand grasped around his opposing wrist. He stared numbly, the words only registering when Sakura's one visible eye turned to glare at him from above his glasses.
"Oh, uh, well, we... uh..." Ryuji stammered, fumbling over what he should even say. "We're friends," was what he eventually decided on, even though he had only known Kurokuya for a couple of days.
Sakura's brow raised. "Really? The two of you are friends?" Ryuji didn't like how disbelieving he sounded and tried his best to ignore the once over Sakura gave him as he asked the question.
"Yeah, we are." He responded more defensively than he wanted to, but he honestly couldn't find it in himself to care less. He was beyond anxious and worried, so whatever Sakura felt towards his lack of manners could go screw itself.
"How'd that happen?"
'We teamed up to bring down a shitty adult who likes to beat down and perv on his students. You know, usual guy stuff.' Ryuji felt a wry grin spread on his face, thankfully out of Sakura's view as he turned his head away to hide it. "Just sorta happened. No real reason."
"Really?" Feeling the last embers of his patience vanish, Ryuji twisted to give Sakura his own glare.
"Yeah, really. Got a problem with that?" Resentment from dealing with these kinds of comments for years bubbled up in Ryuji's stomach, his face going flush with a warmth that began to build up in the back of his head. He could deal with this crap any day of the week at school, but he sure as shit wasn't going to take it when someone who actually gave him the time of day was getting surgery just a couple of rooms away. "Who the hell are you anyway? You're definitely not his father." Ryuji pushed off the wall and stared straight into Sakura's eyes, not backing down an inch as the older man met him sqaure on despite not getting up from his chair.
"I'm looking after him. Not that it's any of your business."
"Like hell it isn't!" Ryuji stomped his foot on the ground, sending a flare of pain up his leg that made him grit his teeth and nearly buckle from the act. Sojiro's eyes flared up and he looked ready to shoot out of his chair in response, but once again the doors swung open, drawing the two's attention. A lone surgeon walked out, glasses highlighting the frustration on his face, lips drawn in a thin line. He looked over to Ryuji and Sojiro, making the former feel embarrassed at his outburst. He thought for a second that the doctor was coming to tell him to shut up like the teachers at Shujin did whenever he spoke up too loudly until he remembered that he was actually waiting for this guy.
He walked over to them, taking his glasses off to rub at his eyes as he took a deep breath before stopping in front of the two men, the glare of light off of his lenses adding an authority to his demeanor. "I'm Dr. Sonoda Nakamura, the leading surgeon. You're the one who came with Kurokuya Kouzai?" It took a second for Ryuji to recognize the question was directed at him, the back of his head still heating up from his anger.
He turned to face the man, crossing his arms over his chest and grabbing his biceps in a vice grip to calm himself down. "Yeah, I am. I'm his friend, Ryuji."
"And you?" Nakamura turned to Sakura, who pushed up from the seat and walked in front of Ryuji.
"I'm his guardian. Sojiro Sakura." He leveled a dismissive glare as he looked down to Ryuji from the corner of his eye. "And I don't know this kid."
Ryuji returned the look with full force. "And I don't know this guy either." The doctor stared at the two, eyes furrowing and mouth hanging open before heaving an exhausted scoff.
"Chizuru-san." He half yelled across the room, walking over to the woman behind the desk. She was staring hot daggers at Ryuji and Sakura, the former actually buckling somewhat after remembering her earlier warning to the latter. "Can you print the kid's file for me so I know who to talk to?"
"Already did." Instantly she held out said file.
"Thank you." Tiredly, the man scanned over the sheet of paper as he walked back to where he was. After a while, his eyebrow quirked up after reading across a line. "Probation officer, huh?" He looked at Sakura from above his glasses.
"That matter?" The man in question quickly asked, voice thin and controlled.
"Yes, it does. I don't want the hospital getting sued." He flicked his attention back to the file. His eyes widened as he let out a little hum of acknowledgment. "A repeat customer, apparently." He muttered.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryuji asked.
The surgeon looked up from the file, his eyes looking deep in Ryuji's. "Thought you said you two were friends?" Ryuji looked at him dumbly, not understanding what he meant. "Apparently your friend has been in and out of the hospital ever since he was young." He blinked at the information, now knowing how to respond. "I thought that, since you're his friend and all, you'd know something like that." Nakamura leveled an inquisitive glance at the teen, leaving Ryuji gawking and completely flatfooted at the sudden interrogation he just went through.
"What the hell?" He scoffed out, almost laughing at the rush of anger that flowed through him. He stood in place, looking between the two men and back as he grew more and more irritated at their condescending looks. 'Why the hell are they grilling me like this?' His grinded his teeth together as he looked to the ground, tried to come up with some kind of response. The usual fire and anger that would follow from being treated like this being gone. Instead, all that he felt was his knee continuing to bother him, waves of heat flooding his leg in droves at this point.
A sigh from his left brought him out of his stupor, turning to see Sojiro shaking his head. "Let him stay. I didn't know that either." Nakamura glared at Sakura from above the rim of his glasses, his jaw swaying back and forth on the tips of his teeth before he closed his mouth and took a calming breath. Ryuji stared at him with his breath caught in his throat, shocked at the sudden support. Not knowing what else to do, he just shook his head and scoffed, crossing his arms and ignored the man.
"The day gets better and better, doesn't it?" He muttered to himself. "Good news first then."
"There's bad?" Sojiro interjected, leaning his neck forward with wide eyes. Ryuji flicked his eyes to him, not having any more energy to talk.
"I'll get to that." He stared at Sojiro a second longer before continuing. "In terms of the surgery, removing the glass shards was no problem. X-rays and an MRI were performed and nothing was found deep enough to be a cause for concern, so we've got him stitched up and will keep him a couple of days to see how he recovers." He paused to take a breath, looking between Ryuji and Sakura. "There was, however, a complication during the operation."
"That being?" Sojiro asked sharply.
"He woke up." That got Ryuji's attention, reigniting his interest in the conversation.
"What do you mean he woke up?" Sojiro asked, clearly dumbfounded. "Didn't you give him anesthetic?"
"Of course we gave him anesthetics." The surgeon snapped.
"How often does that happen?" Ryuji piped in, hoping to stop a potential shouting match. He was nowhere close to being in the mood for one.
"Unless we want it to, it doesn't." Nakamura responded carefully, trying his best to not lose his own temper. "I talked with the anesthesiologist and she swears that she gave him the correct dose, so we don't know why or how he woke up. We're looking into it."
"But Kurokuya's fine, right?" Sojiro rushed, hands shaking on his arms.
"He is. We've set him up in his own room in order to more accurately monitor him. We won't get another surprise." Nakamura assured them. "Now, I have to tell you that, due to how fast he was waking up and where we were during the surgery, we had to give him a second dose -"
"What?" Sojiro interrupted, eyes flaring up in shock before snapping to anger. "You gave him a second dose?!" His voice rose with every word, drawing people's attention and making Ryuji all the more uncomfortable.
"It was a reduced amount and we couldn't risk him moving during the operation." Nakamura responded harshly. "We were aware of the risks, and we're having him monitored constantly to make sure he doesn't have an adverse reaction."
"Dr. Nakamura?" A woman called from behind the man, all three of them looking back to see a worried and out of breath nurse coming from behind a corner. Ryuji spotted a sign that showed an arrow and some stairs and elevators on it.
"Ah, Chitose, just in time. How's the boy doing?" Nakamura turned back to the two, trying his best to calm down. "She was one of the nurses to bring him to his room." Ryuji couldn't stop his lips from twisting a bit, having noticed the strained expression on the nurse's face. He turned back to the lady, himself still not noticing it. "So, anything to-"
"He's woken up again." Nakamura looked as though someone had killed his whole family in front of him from the way his eyes widened and his face went red with anger.
"Excuse me?" He whispered in a way that made Ryuji's neck go rigid, unconsciously taking a sharp breath through his nose. The nurse was as quiet as Ryuji. For a moment, she looked like someone else to him. Someone trying to finds the words to stop someone else from getting angry. It made his throat go dry and he didn't notice himself biting his lip hard enough to cut skin.
"He woke up again." The words brought Ryuji back to reality. Just in time to see that like all the other times, they didn't work.
"What the hell do you mean he woke up?" Nakamura didn't yell, but it made no difference to Ryuji. It had the same effect.
"What kind of hospital is this?!" Sojiro did yell, making Ryuji flinch from the sudden volume in his ear. He took a quick step away, landing awkwardly on his throbbing leg. He managed to suppress the yell that came up, making a lump in his throat that made him feel like he was about to throw up.
"Where's his room?" Ryuji half shouted, half sobbed. Wiping away the wet feeling from his cheeks so nobody saw it, he ignored the looks of Sojiro and Nakamura, focusing solely on the nurse.
"I'll take you to him." The boy nodded at that and hobbled his way towards her.
"Hey, if anyone should-"
"You two can yell at each other all you want." Ryuji waved his hand at Sojiro, not even looking at him as he walked past. "I want to see my friend." When he reached the nurse, he lowered his voice. "Can we go, please?" She nodded and turned away, with Ryuji close behind. Letting out a shuddering sigh, Ryuji rubbed his hands over his face and let them grasp the back of his head, taking deep, calming breaths through his nose and out his mouth to keep away the images that wanted to rear their ugly head.
"Things were getting kind of tense back tense back there, huh?" Ryuji made a humorless chuckle at the icebreaker.
"Yeah, you could say that."
"So, just a heads up before we reach your friend." The nurse clicked a button for the elevator, turning to Ryuji and levelling him a serious expression. "He is still somewhat dazed from the surgery likely due to the amount of anesthesia we gave him."
"About that." Ryuji interrupted. "Exactly how dangerous is that?" He knew it was probably very dangerous given Sojiro's reaction, but seeing as how Kurokuya had apparently woken up from two doses of the stuff he was hoping that whatever it was the man was worried about was just an overreaction.
"Normally, general anesthesia shouldn't be a problem. It's how Kouzai-san has interacted with it that's making us worried." The elevator dinged, the two getting inside as the nurse hit the button and the doors closed. "He should have stayed under during the whole surgery and a couple hours afterwards. The fact he didn't either means the anesthesiologist screwed or administered the incorrect drugs." She rubbed her eyes and leaned against the elevator walls, heaving out an exhausted sigh. "Add in the fact we rushed giving him another dose and he still woke up and yeah, we're pretty fucking worried." She cringed, looking at Ryuji apologetically. "Sorry, didn't mean to snap at you."
"Hey," he raised his hands, "don't worry. I'm pretty effing worried myself." The nurse laughed at his bad joke, which helped to ease Ryuji's nerves somewhat.
"He asked about someone. Shiho, I think it was?" The lady looked at Ryuji expectantly, his nerves returning in full force.
"She's, uh, the girl he helped that made him wind up here." He stammered, fumbling with the hem of his shirt as he looked towards the door of the elevator.
"Helped... how, exactly?" Ryuji strained his lips together, suddenly feeling a wave of exhaustion he hadn't realized he'd been ignoring take over.
"I don't wanna talk about it." He leaned on his own section of the wall, taking pressure of his knee. It had calmed down somewhat, but he still got the occasional pang of pain. "Sorry."
"All good. But just know, I already have an idea of what happened, so chances are you're going to be asked by the doctor and the police for more details. Just prepare yourself for that." She spoke softly as the elevator bell dinged, the doors opening.
"Great." He mumbled. Then he chuckled to himself, a wry grin forming on his face. 'Well, at least we got the police involved somehow.' He felt like an ass for joking about that. Ryuji stayed quiet as he followed the nurse down the hall, shoving his hands in his pockets, ignoring the vibrating motion in his pocket.
As the two walked, they passed by a police officer that was standing outside a room, talking on his phone. "Yeah, I'm outside the guy's room right now." Ryuij couldn't help but overhear him, even though the man turned his back to the pair for an attempt at privacy. "He's got tubes and bandages up the galore. Got the call early in the morning by his neighbor, said he heard a fight and thought that someone broke into his apartment." Ryuji and the nurse only just turned the corner before what the officer said next made the boy stop dead in his tracks. "With the way he is now, this Kamoshida guy couldn't punch air."
Ryuji was rooted to the spot, barely even remembering where he was before the nurse gave him a confused glance at noticing how far ahead she was from the student. "Everything okay?" He snapped back to reality, nodding emphatically as he paced back next to her.
'What the hell? Why's Kamoshida here as well?' The officer said that someone apparently broke into his apartment, and given that he was here it only meant the he was injured during the act. Bad enough that he apparently wouldn't be able to 'punch air.' Ryuji let out a small scoff, glaring back down the hall. 'Serves you right you sick bastard. You won't hurt Ann or Shiho ever aga-' Ryuji stopped so fast that his shoe squeaked on the hospital floor.
"It's over." Kurokuya said. "Kamoshida. He's over and dealt with. He won't hurt anyone else ever again."
The gears in Ryuji's head began turning. 'No way. There's no effing way.' It was a coincidence. Kurokuya didn't even know where Kamoshida lived. Ryuji didn't even know where Kamoshida lived. There was no way he was the one who-
"Hey, Inoue-san." Another nurse called from down the hall, waving at the nurse Ryuji was walking with. "You free right now? I need help with those police officers that came in a couple days ago."
"Sorry, I got snatched to help with the kid from school." She nodded her head back to Ryuji, the boy only just vaguely listening to the conversation.
"Seriously? Where is everyone? There a lay off that happened I don't know about?" For some reason, Ryuji's mind wandered to a news report his mom was watching just last night. About how this building lit on fire. How there were people trapped inside that were saved. And about how there were three officers injured at the place.
And how one of them was saved by the Pale Spider.
"Hey." He nearly jumped out of his skin from the sudden intrusion of his thoughts. "You sure you're okay there?" Inoue-san asked, eyes quirked up and her friend gone.
"Y-yeah. I'm, uh, I'm just tired. You know?" And he was. Ryuji was the most tired he had ever been. He was thinking that someone he barely knew was some vigilante that beat up one of his teachers.
He was just tired.
"By the way, do you know if there's any family of Kouzai-san's we should notify?"
"Outside of his probation officer, I have no-" Suddenly Ryuji's eyes snapped wide open, choking on his words. The nurse turned to look at him with worry.
"What's wrong?"
"I just realized." Ryuji squeaked out, color draining from his face. "I forgot to call my mom and tell her I'm okay..." There was no way she hadn't heard about what happened by now. Ryuji's hands swarmed his pockets, snatching and nearly dropping his phone as he all but ripped it out. He tapped the screen.
Thirty-seven unread messages and fifteen missed calls.
Ryuji came to the realization that it was a god thing he was in the hospital. Because he wasn't just tired. He was dead.
So very, very, very dead.
