Star the Rapespawn
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
Guest: Sometimes the site deletes them. Sorry about that. Anyway your review and criticism are appreciated as always. Be safe, God be with you and have a good day!
Starco4everr: Thank you
...III...
Plaugis the Wise was an oasis of calm in a hurricane of panic and chaos as many of the 'mighty' leaders of the Mewmans ran around like headless chickens while their supposedly 'invincible' queen just kept hyperventilating in the corner...
But he was patient, he could wait...
...15 hours later...
WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!
Screamed the Mewman general as everyone kept panicking into the sixteenth hour. Plaugis, having been quietly standing in the corner until now finally sighs and says. "Okay, I think I've been polite long enough."
He holds up a small red frog and spanks causing it to croak in such a way that an Earth person would mistake it for gunfire-
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
The Mewmans- having never heard gunfire -simply heard several large explosions directed at the ceiling, so they all immediately threw themselves to the ground in fear.
Plaugis puts the frog in his pocket, "I apologize for having to resort to that. But I think we can all agree that time is of the essence. So with her majesty's permission, I would like to proceed with my proposal." He says that last part as he bows respectively to a semi-cowering Moon.
An embarrassed Moon quickly composes herself and asks him to proceed...
The Muun Monster began to explain how the army was merely paid for by Grevious, it was actually built by the 'Coalition of Industrial Sentient's'(or C.I.S. for short). A powerful alliance of rich and powerful monster corporations.
Everyone groaned at this, the C.I.S. had been a thorn in the Mewman's side for a long time. Their wealth, their private armies, their inter-dimensional influence...they were always causing problems: Buying out Mewman companies, giving scholarships to exceptional mewman students to steal their best and brightest away, loaning out money to other nations, companies and then putting them into debt traps to extort them, putting blockades on nations or worlds that wouldn't agree to their demands, buying out Mewman minstrels and other story tellers to put them in good light...
'Officially' they were in support of monster right's, but in reality they were selfish, greedy, bastards who only 'stuck-up' for their fellow monsters out of out mutually assured convenience and benefits.
They would never know that in another universe, this cabal would be destroyed before it could ever truly come to power by Queen Solaris on her relentless monster slaying crusades. Sadly, in this universe Grevious cut her AND her crusades short. After that the country of Mewni was too focused on rebuilding their shattered lives to worry about the monsters, then came the fiasco that was Eclipsa's brief reign, then came the reign of 'I just want to party' Festivia. By the time ANYONE had the inclination to bring the monsters to heel, the C.I.S. had taken advantage of the turmoil and Mewni's weakness to build themselves into inter-dimensionally recognized mega-corporations.
Taking them out would not only lead to a dragged out and bloody war, but possible economic collapse and condemnation from the inter-dimensional community.
In any case...
"Now they claim that they had no idea what Grevious was going to do with it...now feel free to take that statement with a grain of salt, but what is true is that they understand the HUGE consequences of being even indirectly related to the murder of a high-profile leader who's legitimacy had been recognized by the inter-dimensional community. So they want to cut a deal to save their own hides."Admitted Plaugis bluntly.
"HA! yeah, right! Their clearly lying out their ass and just wanting to save their own skin, the cowards!" Shouts Rhombulous.
Hekapoo looks at him annoyed, "Uh...buddy? He literally just said that." She said as if talking to a VERY stupid child.
Rhombulous eye widens. "Oh..." He coughs awkwardly. "Uh...good, very good...continue." He motions.
Plaugis simply nodded and continued, "The army they created for Grievous is a prototype Golem army, that differs from 'robots' in that unlike other technology across the universe. They don't require magic to work..."
This is a surprise to everyone, although it wasn't unheard of to have non-magic based tech. For an AI to be not integrated or at least powered by magic in this universe was unheard of! This would explain how they were able to take the Mewman army by surprise. The court mage's mage sight wouldn't have seen them with no magic flowing through them, and the wards- having never been programed to keep out 'non-magic' robots -would've been completely useless keeping them out or even detecting them!
"In any case, although technically being 'working AI's', their still prototypes. These B1-Battle Golems are rather dumb and require a command signal to keep them working right. Now the C.I.S. has the ability to subvert that signal and have them turn against Grevious at a critical time. However, naturally they want something in return...
Everyone holds in a groan, they were expecting this...
"Considering the situation, I was able mostly convince them to keep the 'compensation' lean. Just two: One, a pardon for any involvement they had in the whole fiasco-
Moon sighed, "Fine." That one was to be expected after all.
"The second- he puts on a look of discomfort -as a sign of goodwill and further co-existence with all monsters...they want Queen Moon to marry a high-ranking monster official of their choice."
It was like a bomb had been set off...
Plaugis was besought by angry shouts from all sides, especially Moon and River...
While he tried to be diplomatic and calm the situation, Omnitraxius sits quietly at the side while he looks at things from all angels...and I mean ALL the angles.
"Hold it! How about we have a brief recess? I'd like to confer with our Queen..."
...
"You want me to what?!" Asked Queen horrified.
"Hear me out." Said Omnitraxius in a placating manner. "I looked through all the possible outcomes. All the husbands you get from this deal are spinless weaklings. Best of all, most of them are incompatible with Mewni genetics, so they would bear you no heir. And since there's an escape clause in Mewni law that no heir within 10 years will render even the most mystically binding of marriage contracts null and void, that will leave you free to marry again..."
Moon frowned as he trailed off...the whole thing still made her uncomfortable...besides...
"What if we DO have a child?"
The MHC gave each other knowing looks, "Again, the odds of that are astronomical...but if it dose happen...there is protocol in place...worry not my Queen, we'll handle it..."
Moon's eyes widen, she'd studied enough politics to recognize a polite 'plausible deniability' brush off...
Well, that just made her even more uncomfortable! But even if that wasn't the case...could she really do that to herself? Marry someone she didn't love? Worse still...a MONSTER she couldn't love?
BOOM!
And then a flaming piece of Ponyhead castle hit the throne room...
...
"Yadda, Yadda- Sends their deepest condolences -yakkity, yak- best wishes -blah, blah, blah- must take consideration of current political instability and other harsh realities -yadda, yadda- with you in spirit." Hekapoo sighs as she tosses out yet another political-jargon rich response from yet another Mewman 'ally' who regrettably could not aide them in their time of need due to 'political concerns and ever-shifting realities of the situation'...Translation: 'We don't want to get killed by Grevious so your on your own.'
It wasn't that big of a surprise, in a big show of power. Grevious attacked and destroyed their two biggest allies: The Pony heads and the Lucitor's. The Pony heads were to be expected, they were more economic allies then military...well, actually they were pretty much useless for everything else, really...but the Lucitors? Their military might was probably greater then even theirs!...Queen Wrathmelior Lucitor probably could've leveled their entire army on her own!...and now her head was on a pike in the shattered, burning remains of her throne room...
Those clankers maybe dumb and poor shots, but they made up in superior numbers and being able to be made fast and cheap- yes, apparently Grevious also had a mobile Golem construction unit made as well to keep his army replenished and repaired. With him constantly looting resources to feed it, he essentially had a never-ending army!
Needless to say...all their lesser allies suddenly found themselves 'unavoidably busy' when they needed them most!...although to be fair, between Grevious's brutal prowess and his seemingly relentless army...it was doubtful they'd have been any help...
Hekapoo enters the war room where everyone is watching the burning remains of the Ponyhead kingdom flutter down from the heavens. "The Spider bites are also not going to aid us." Explained Hekapoo flatly.
Moon was coming very close to having a panic attack, Grevious had been smart. Rather then just attack them directly and be surrounded by their allies. He attacked their strongest allies first to not only keep them from helping...but scare all their lesser allies into neutrality! Their scouts were telling them that they only had a couple days before Grevious's army dragged itself out of the underworld and attacked them! And with their army halved, they stood no chance!
She gives a sad, longing look toward River...then turns away...and steels herself for what she must do...
She turns to the ever watchful Plaugis. "Bring the contract, you got a deal..."
...
After Moon and the MHC had sign the deal- and a LONG, hard conversation that left River running away in tears from a heartbroken Moon -They and Plaugis go to meeting area with the C.I.S.
Surprisingly, Plaugis confesses that he knows that she only agreed to this because Omnitraxius told her that this was basically a sham and that he's basically sacrificing the dignity and livelihood of a fellow monster simply to appease some money-grubbing shysters...but it was the only way to get them to agree to help the Mewmans which in doing so will hopefully minimize bloodshed between their two sides...
He also admits that while he's pro-peace...he admits to not liking Mewmans(too much bad blood between them)...no, he preaches co-existence for strictly pragmatic reasons as he believes that any war between Monster and Mewmans can only lead to more bloodshed then it's worth. No matter how you looked at it, With the magic of the wand and the backing of the MHC, it guaranteed that even if by some miracle the monsters did win, it would be a pyrrhic victory at best...
Plaugis sighs as he puts on a face of sincerity to turn toward Moon, "For what it's worth I am sorry about the loss of your mother. She was a great woman, and I truly believe that with her we could've had a lasting peace, but now..." He sighs, "Well, it hardly matters now, dose it?" Gets a rather resolute look on his face. "Let's just get this over with. The sooner we start this farce, the sooner we can go back to both of our lives with both our people's pretending the other side doesn't exists..."
Moon frowns at that...she wants to say something...but what could she say to that? Eventually, she just stays silent...
Omnitraxius looked at this exchange filled with regret. Yes, he knew many looked at the HMC as hypocrites for their treatment of monsters...but they had no choice, repressing their culture and keeping them as second class citizens was terrible...but not doing so meant too high risk of...THEM returning...
Such thoughts were put on hold, they'd arrived to the meeting place...where the C.I.S. council waited...
Many of the Mewman representatives sneered at the sight of the monsters that had given them so many headaches and were practically the poster children of 'all monsters are evil bastards'.
Nute Gunray of the Trade Federation: Nemodian monsters were some of the most greedy and selfish of the various races. They deliberately pitted their infants against one another at birth. Set with test designed to make sure Those who were the most manipulative and greedy not only survived but were promoted based on how 'cunning' they were...and that those who were kind or caring...usually starved to death...natural selection basically took care of the rest. They came to power with the cunning use of procedural lies and bureaucratic tricks to make the use of blockades to settle 'trade disputes'(the 'legal' definition of which also ended up very broad flexible thanks to their lawyers and lobbyists) perfectly legal. They would starve entire worlds, forcing them to sign exclusive contracts with them that benefited the trade federation at the inhabitants expense...
Poggle the Lesser of Geonosian Industries: The Genosians were an insect-like monster-race with a very strict caste system and even greater love of slaughter and death. They primarily built and sold weapons. Although the C.I.S. collectively sold that golem army to Grevious, it was very likely that the Genosians did all the heavy lifting in regards to designing and building it.
Wat Tambor of the Techno Union: the Genosians may have made the golem army a reality, but more likely then not it was the Skakoan dominated Techno Union that created the concept of a magic-less A.I. in the first place. Due to being driven to desolate backwaters by early Mewamns, they were forced to graft and upgrade their bodies to survive the inhospitable lands This has given them a highly xenophobic outlook that focused on prioritizing cold, calculating logic and self-preservation over all else. They were more diverse in their products then their other C.I.S. counterparts, constantly focusing on the creation of any new technologies to give them an edge over other species. They dabbled in everything from all-terrian war ships to shower gels. Their blatant disregard for all non-Skakoan life and ruthless drive to whatever it took to succeed caused rumors to abound of both Mewman and monster subjects being abducted and experimented on in dark places where no one could find or prove...
San Hill of The IG Banking clan: from the same species as Plaugis, these monsters valued merit and intellect above all else. Their culture revolved around economy and finance. Seeing bankers, lawyers, engineers, and diplomats as the highest levels of society. Their banks were rivaled only by the goblins as the safest banks in the universe. Although tending to shy away from physical violence, they weren't above a good deal of skullduggery. Having bad memories of Mewman settlers screwing their ancestors over in unfavorable deals, they sought to return the 'favor' to others through debt-trap diplomacy. Many worlds have found themselves showered in money by the clan for their various infrastructure projects...only to find later that various loopholes in the agreement make them owe ten or even 20 times as much and are forced to put their entire world and economy's up for collateral indefinitely.
Passel Argente of the Corporate Alliance: This business was more cult then corporate entity to be honest. The Koorivar species was both cursed with a ridiculously high birth rate that would logistically-cripple most species and blessed with a strange gift to be able to tell which children had most potential/value. The children with the highest potential were spared, while the thousands of others were ritualistically cannibalized. As time went on the Corporate alliance expanded this gift to be able to sense the potential of children from other worlds, other species, even Mewmans. Of the C.I.S. they were the least xenophobic, so they had no issues adopting potentially gifted children from orphanages/street corners/brothels of other worlds or bribing families to give up said children as well. They went as far as buying out schools and universities to win the most gifted children's loyalty with scholarships and free student loans...also indoctrinating the next generations of entire species to be loyal to the corporate alliance. This not only made the corporate alliance the most diverse of C.I.S. members but also gave them a seemingly endless supply of spies, saboteurs, informants and sympathizers to seed throughout rival companies and other entities hostile to the corporation. employees and customers alike were encouraged to view the company as a god-like entity.
Shu Mai of the Commerce Guild: The Gossam monster dominated commerce guild was always ruthless and cunning, but they got even worse when they somehow got their claws on a steady supply of cursed bribing tokens. They were keyed to only work for guild members and when a person accepted them for any reason(even if tricked and unaware of receiving it in the first place), they were mystically bound to do a favor for the person who gave it to them or be cursed. A favored tactic of hers was framing political opponents for entering and rigging illegal betting matches to ruin their careers and reputation.
Po Nudo of the Hyper-Communications Cartel: Long before any other communication tech giant, they saw the value in data-mining. Taking user information in 'technically' legal ways and selling them to the highest bidder. Such foresight allowed them to unseat Pixitopia as the number 1 communication tech company in the universe. They're control over communication allowed them to censor any news that was unfavorable to them or their allies, or slant news to slander and defame their opposition. They'd also pioneered ad-blitz psychological induce algorithms to manipulate the users of their various social media sites to vote for politicians sympathetic to their cause. They even went as far as buy out movie companies, minstrel bands, authors and theater troupes to sing praises of them and culturally assassinate their enemies.
Riff Tamson of Poseidon Energy: The karkarodon who controlled this company, were every bit the apex preadator's that their distant great white shark cousins were. They specialized mainly in underwater drilling and fishing, but they also weren't above selling their service as mercenaries or acting as go-between's for weapon smuggling. In fact it was believed that they were responsible for the current Calamari/Quarren civil war and were profiteering from both sides...
Molluck Glukkon of Rapture farms and Soulstorm brewery:...of all the monsters here, Omnitraxius hated the glunkkons the most. They got both Mewman and monster alike addicted on Soustrom Brew. Then after they coaxed the poor souls to give up all their life savings and worldly possessions...they made them sign themselves sign themselves over to slavery! All so they can be paid in brew for the rest of their lives! And if the rumors were true...what they did to the slaves that dropped dead...gave new meaning to 'corporate cannibalism'.
In any case...it was time for the meeting...
Nute Gunray smiled as they approached, "Ah, your majesty. How wonderful to see you. My deepest condolences for the loss of your-
"Save it." Said Moon, she was in no mood for pleasantries with the people that contributed to her mother demise. "I've signed the deal, your pardons are ready...introduce me to my husband to be and let us get this travesty over with..." She said as she handed the contract to one of the monsters servants.
"Such [fzzt] hostility is [fzzt] unneeded your [fzzt] Majesty. [fzzt] We only wants what's [fzzt] best for all
[fzzt] our people." Said Wat Tambor between his suit giving out static.
Hekapoo resisted rolling her eyes, "Oh, I'm sure." She said beneath his breath.
Plaugis coughed to get everyone's attention as he stepped forward, "Right, so who have you decided on to take part of this political union? Was it Earl Kreacher of Burndom? Captain Sue-Sue of the Mang providence? Or perhaps king Humpty of Littlehope?"
Chairman San Hill put his fingers upward in a rather Finger-Tenting position. "Actually, my good man...we've decided to go a different direction.
Suddenly, a cloaked figure seemingly comes out of nowhere. The servant with the contract immediately walks up to him.
Omnitraxius's eyes widen, he saw...nothing. He saw nothing of this strangers future, his present, his past...NOTHING. That was impossible! The only one's who could ever do such a thing was...
He gaped in horror, but before he could say anything the stranger had already written his name across the contract. The flash of magic on it made it binding and official-
SURPRISE!
Shouts Toffee as he throws away his cloak, revealing his nightmarish visage for all to see...
...IIIā¦...
TO BE CONTINUED?
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