Tales of the Star and Hoodie
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
Starco4everr: thank you
Shaeril McBrown: I'm afraid I can't find your stories, sorry. But for what it's worth, you'll be in my prayers.
Guest: I'm sorry, I don't read much Conan, so I don't think I'm the right writer for this...
RonaldM40196867: Thank you.
...III...
General Grievous looked toward the distant sight of the seat of Mewni Royal power...although savoring his inevitable victory...he can't help but also remember the LAST time he was this close to the palace...when everything went so horriblywrong...
It had all started out so well...Solaria and her Solarian warriors had come to the front. Solaria had smugly shot off her 'Total Annihilation Spell'...then was stunned when it didn't faze them it all... right after he plunged the blade right through her heart of course...
Her Solarian warriors predictably went nuts, both enraged over the loss of their 'beloved' Queen and confident that their magic and armor would protect them...
An assumption that was torn apart just as quickly as their armor/bodies when the idiots blindly ran through the choke-point they'd set up...well except for that one who literally fell apart at the sight of her queens death and fled like a coward...but Grevious had no time to waste any thoughts on cowards and weaklings...
With their queen dead, the next queen in line but a teenager who was was clearly in over her head and their greatest warriors now all slain...the Mewmans basically collapsed into anarchy...slaughtering them became almost tedious...
The only REAL challenge after that had been the MHC and even they'd been forced to retreat when he'd personally slain Reynaldo.
His victory had been in sight...if not for that dawm goat he'd have won!
Turns out he and his people had been just as arrogant as the Solarians in regards to their prowess. They'd believed that they were immune to all magic effects...and to be fair they'd been right to a certain degree. But as it turns out SACRIFICIAL magic was one of the few exceptions...
Lekmet had sacrificed his life to place a terrible curse on Grevious and his people. Half his army had fallen dead the first hour! Only through sheer bloody willpower had he and the rest had kept the curse at bay...
Despite this, they refused to give up! They wreaked a heavy toll on the Mewamns that day...the Mewmans may have technically won that day, but mark his words... the price they paid for it had been HIGH.
Grevious never could remember how he'd survived that day...it was all of blur of rage, blood and fury...but somehow he'd limped away to the mountains...
Only his rage, his bloodlust and his desire to avenge his people kept him alive all those years...turns out even the exceptions to his people's immunity could be weathered through with the right strength of WILL...
And now he was BACK to settle the score...these useless buckets of bolts were a poor substitute for his old army, his comrades, his PEOPLE...but they'd do the job.
The Mewmans of this day and age were even more soft and cowardly then even the times of Solaria! At least back then her subjects had more fire to FIGHT!...which actually wasn't saying much to be honest, but STILL it was better then this!
While lost in his thoughts, he almost didn't see what was coming up...
He was surprised to see the Lizard and his army march up to meet him. He'd been a bit annoyed to have the pleasure of slaying the Queen taken from him. But the confusion caused by that HAD made his slaughtering most of the Mewman army easier...besides, if there was one thing Grevious respected...it was REVENGE. And the Septarsis had even more reason to hate the Mewmans then HE did(which was REALLY saying something).
He marches up to meet the Lizard as he comes forward.
"Ah, the 'Lizard', I saw what you did to Queen Comet...I hear people are still clawing their eyes out at the mere sight of it. Quite the work of art."
"Why thank you. If you love what you do, why not take pride in it? Go the extra mile!" Said Toffee with a sadistic smirk.
"I couldn't agree more."
"Well, as much as I love the honor of talking to the monster that killed that thrice cursed bitch Solaria- pauses to spit on the ground -may her death have been more agonizing then I heard and that she rot in hell...but I'm afraid I'm here to talk business, not pleasure..."
"Ah, yes. I can only assume your here to join me in the bloodbath?"
"I'm afraid not. I'm just going to be blunt: The mewmans and the MHC were so desperate and terrified of you...they gave the person who just brutally murdered their current Queen -I.E. me- the princesses hand in marriage and basically made me king of the Mewmans."
"WHAT!?" Grevious's feelings were all over the place; he felt rage over a monster going over to the Mewmans side, incredulous disbelief that they'd ever offer a MONSTER the title of king in the first place, flattered amusement that they were so scared of him that they'd go to THIS extreme, and JOY of the prospect of Solaria spinning in her grave over this proverbial slap in the face of all she'd accomplished...
Finally Grevious just settles for glaring at him, "Why would you forsake your people's vengeance?! From what I hear, you have a greater grievance toward the Mewmans then I do!"
Toffee grins evilly. "Who says I've forsaken it? No offense to you; your methods are effective and clearly work for you...but I prefer to kill my enemy SLOWLY...and as their king I will be equipped to be able to do just that...especially to the rather lackluster laws in regards to me providing a heir to the throne..." He slowly shows him a pamphlet that explained said laws...
Grevious looked at it a moment, not really getting it at first...but then his wicked mind began to connect the dots in a way that only a truly depraved villain could...
"Oh...oh, my that is deliciously cruel!" Said Grevious with a smirk. On top of being forced to marry the monster that murdered her mother in cold blood, she'd have to...oh, this was diabolical!
Still...
Grevious sighed, "I'm sorry, I'd be lying if I said I weren't tempted to stand aside and watch this play out...but you have your MO and I have mine."
"Oh, I completely understand. We all have our preferences. You do you, I suppose." Dismissed a sincere Toffee flatly.
With nothing more to say, they each went back to their respective armies and prepared to charge.
click
To Grevious's credit, he knew something was wrong when Toffee's army didn't charge to meet him. He tensed when he saw Toffee raised a device in his claw. His extraordinary reflexes and senses let him twist around and block the first few dozen shots his now traitorous army sent his way. But although the B-1 droids were lousy shots...a thousand shots fired in roughly the same place was still more then enough to bring down the Kaleesh warlord...
...
With his side of the bargain finished, the warlord dead- this time they confirmed it with a body -and the ranks of his army swelled by all the b-1 droids that the C.I.S. had 'gifted' him...it was now time to fulfill Moon's side of the bargain.
And the MHC was completely helpless to do anything to stop this trainwreck...
Even if their signature on the mystically-binding contract hadn't tied their hands...well, this wasn't like Eclipsa. She'd abandoned her kingdom and had no REAL allies to protect her...Toffee had an ARMY and the backing of the freaking C.I.S.!
What bothered Omnitraxious Prime the most...was that he couldn't see Toffee's future...or any of his Timelines...and the only monsters who'd ever been able to do that...
But that was absurd! They'd been extinct for over a millennia! Glossaryck actually got off his lazy butt for once just to make sure HIMSELF!
Still...they'd made sure to discretely check him out...just in case. Rhombulus had 'accidentally' jabbed him with a fork to get a blood sample...it came up negative, thank magic...
But still... what did that mean?
"This is a travesty, an absolute travesty. The poor girl doesn't deserve this!" Sobbed Count Mildrew.
For once Hekapoo agreed with the hysterical count, Moon looked like she'd just seen a bunch of cute puppies being ripped apart by jackals...and who could blame her...?
There she was...standing side-by-side with the MONSTER that had murdered her mom...mere moments away from being married TOGETHER...And that wasn't even getting into how messed up things would get now that they'd be required to have a KID together...
That Plaugis guy was here too...he'd thrown a fit when those C.I.S. bastards went behind his back to do this! He angrily berated them for choosing the monster most likely to stir up the most conflict between Monster and Mewman!
Sadly, his pleadings were ignored...Evidently they felt Toffee would be a strong leader who would finally allow all monsters to get the respect and dignity they deserved.
Hekapoo snorted; oh, she didn't doubt the 'strong leader' bit. She'd have to be a fool to underestimate a Septarsis like Toffee...but the rest? She wouldn't be surprised if the 'all monsters' was short for 'all monsters that are in my mirror and stock portfolio' and 'respect and dignity' just happened to somehow be an abbreviation for 'money and power'.
Still...nothing they could do now...their hands were tied thanks to the contract...Toffee was simply too powerful force in his own right...and that was BEFORE you included his army and their backers...and with Glossaryck still nowhere to be seen...Seriously where was that annoying little smurf? They could seriously use his help about now!
The Mewamn priest looked just as uncomfortable as everyone else here...he hadn't wanted to do this, but the judge said there's no choice...ten other priests before him had preferred to be arrested for treason then to go with this mockery of a FARCE...sadly, this priest didn't have that option...he had a family to take care of after all...
So...with a heavy heart...he continued to officiate on what would go on to become the darkest day in Mewni history...
"If there be anyone here...who can think of a reason these two shouldn't be together...have them speak now...or forever hold their peace."
I OBJECT!
Everyone turned to the shocking sight of Prince River leading a large group of Johansen's to charge the wedding!
"Like hell I'm going to let you defile Moon!" Screamed River.
"River!" Exclaimed Moon happily.
Toffee...said nothing...he just reached into his suite and pressed a switch-
CLACK!
Went the Battledroids hidden around the area as they popped out-
ZAP!
Went the guns as they filled River and his gang with laser fire...
SPLAT!
Went Rivers decapitated head as it landed at the altar right between the two 'lovebirds'...
clunk
Went Moon as she fell to her knees...and began to wail and sob...the reality of her situation FINALLY hitting her hard...
Toffee nonchalantly put the device back in his tux, "Continue." He said flatly.
The priest looked down at the dead kids head and the sobbing 'bride-to-be'... "Uh...don't you want to have a brief intermission? To let your...'fiancée' a moment to recover? Or at least clean off the-
CRUNCH!
"NO."
Said Toffee coldly as he wordlessly crushed Rivers skull with his foot...Which was too much for Moon who finally decided to attack him-
ZAP!
Moon screamed in agony as this act of violence technically violated the contract and wracked her body with horrific pain...
Toffee just smiled for over an hour before he finally activated the escape clause to allow her pain to end...
It was a subdued and broken Moon that finally said 'I Do'...
The poor girl had to be dragged away, she was limping...
Toffee grinned wickedly, "Don't stray too far my dear! You still need to perform your 'wifely duties' tonight!" He and his men laughed cruelly...
Plaugis just shakes his head as he watches this and the C.I.S. begin celebrating their 'victory', "I need cold drink and a hot shower." He said in a disgusted tone as he walked off...
The MHC sighed in resignation, "Yeah...that actually sounds pretty good right now." That said...they walked off in defeat...what else COULD they do?
When no one was watching...Toffee pulled out a strange golden tetrahedron inscribed with strange marking as well as the words 'In umbris potestas est' on it...
He knew there'd be a debt to pay for this device that had allowed him to be invisible to the mighty Omnitarxius Primes gaze...one did not walk away from a SITH after all...
Quickly putting the device and those thoughts away...Toffee eagerly prepared to enjoy his 'honeymoon'...
...III…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
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