Star the Rapespawn
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
...III...
In the mist...there was Solaria...strong...powerful...invincible...her green eyes alight with charisma and ferocity-
SQUICK!
And just like that...she was gone...
COWARD!
WIMP!
FAILURE!
AT LEAST YOUR COMRADES DIED WITH HONOR!
...
GASP!
Mina Loveberry awoke with a start...she looked around frantically from her spot in the gutter...she sighed... 'That same nightmare again...well, today I turn it all around! Today Mina the Coward goes back to Mina the General! Now to rally my faithful troops!'
She walks over to a nearby dumpster where a bunch of beggars were scarfing down...they all groan as they see her coming.
"Oh, goody. Our 'fearless' leader is awake once again..." Said Manfred sarcastically as he ate a rat...
"Remind me why we don't just ditch her again?" Asked Joe.
"And then what? Yeah, she's a loser. But at least she's a loser with magical powers who can keep us safe from all the other degenerates around here." He gestures to the slums they're in...
"Oh...right..." Joe sighs resigned, "So...what'll it be today? Suicide charge on the castle? Or yet another attack on little miss Princess Rapespawn herself?"
"Well...the last three weeks have been the castle...and some dipshit was dumb enough to give her liquor yesterday...so I'm thinking Rapespawn..."
Everyone groaned...Give them Typhon guards any day of the week, anything but that brat!
At that point, Mina showed up. "Saddle up men, we go to kill that bastard princess!" She shouts excited while everyone just groans again...
...later...
"FUCK! SHE'S FUCKING DOMINATING US! WHO COULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING?!" Shouted a bloodied and battered Min as she and her 'men' ran through the forest-
"EVERYONE!" Shouted the remainder of the group-
THWACK!
Several of them went down in a blaze of bamboo tranq darts...
CRACK!
Many more go down as a log suspended by vines smacks into them...
SPLAT!
A bunch of weevil leeches are flung at them from above, everyone else falls unconscious...
Mina is all that's left, she blanches her trash sword this way and that. Her eyes darting around for ANY signs of the danger.
"Mark my words Rapespawn! Your daddy will fall! I will restore my honor! And Mewni will be free of you filthy monsters and Mewmans will be free to-
CLANG!
"You talk too much." Said Star Septarian Butterfly.
The teenage girl/monster hybrid was a sight to behold. She wore no clothing, showing her white flowing hair and beautiful curvy body...that was also covered completely in gray scales...her eyes were red and slitted...and who could forget her lizard tail?
He mentor: Plaugis the Wise, happily clapped his way onto the scene...
"Good work my dear, all intruders incapacitated in record time." Said the Muun as he handed her, her clothing. Star sighed as she reluctantly put on her clothes, she never really liked clothes...they always got in the way of her hunting and fighting, worse she just liked the feel of nature against her...but on the other hand... like HELL was she going to allow any guy to just OOGLE her...
Plaugis whistles to some monster guards who step out of the shadows, strip Mina naked, and tie her legs to the back of a carriage.
Star frowned, "Must we do that to her?" She asked uncomfortable, having her dragged naked through town while everyone pelted her with tomato's everytime she 'attacked' her just seemed needlessly cruel.
Plaugis sighed, "My dear, you know I try to respect what makes you comfortable and/or uncomfortable when possible...but as you know your father has grown- the Royal advisor breifly pauses knowing he had to pick his words carefully -IMPATIENT with your refusal to...'draw your first blood' as the Septarian's say...more importantly he can't just allow someone to attack his daughter, as a father he has an obligation to punish those that would hurt that which is precious to him." Ever the wordsmith, Plaugis had tactfully 'forgotten' to clarify that the 'obligation' was more political and out of need to keep himself from looking weak to his enemies then anything sentimental AND she was precious to him only because she was essential to him keeping the throne. "Bottomline: This was a compromise. You understand, my dear?"
Star sighed, "I guess so...and it IS nice to see the monsters and Mewmans get along...if only briefly." Said Star with a smile as she watched both Mewmans and Humans- temporarily forgetting their hate for each other to satisfy their far greater hate toward Mina -pelt Mina with rotten fruit as she was dragged down the road...
"Yes, quite. Anyway, we've wasted enough time here Princess. We need to hurry to the castle, tonight's your big day!" Said the Muun monster as he escorts her to yet another waiting carriage...
As they rolled along the streets, Star looked about and marveled how much the Kingdom had changed in over 14 years...
Naturally, a MONSTER being the king didn't sit well with the Mewmans. This was a people infamous in both their uselessness without a Queen holding their hand and their willingness to riot whenever ANYTHING threatened to change the 'Status Quo'. So naturally their first instinct was to revolt.
Sadly, unlike the many other times they'd done something like this: They had no Queen to support them and The MHC was forced to stay on the sidelines as neutral.
This including the fact that Toffee was simply just a far better leader and tactician that anything the drunken mob had AND had the backing of the C.I.S...the revolt was quickly crushed.
Toffee just wanted to kill them all, but his new advisor Plaugis was quick to suggest a more merciful alternative: Exile.
Queen Moon was...'recovering' from the...'Honeymoon' and thus was in no condition to offer her opinion on the manner...
Toffee was reluctant until Plaugis explained how the mass slaughtering of Mewmans could be- in certain situations -used as an excuse by the MHC to 'bypass' their oaths to the crown and fight him directly...or used as political ammunition by other countries to attack him.
More importantly, such an exodus of such useless people to other lands would force them to either adapt or just cause problems and make the other nations sick of them. Thus justifying Toffee's issues with them from an international perspective.
All rebels were cursed- neither they nor their progeny would ever return to Mewni -and stripped of everything but the clothes on their back.
Plaugis further suggests that any Mewmans that don't like Toffee's rule may leave, but are warned that they will have to take a similar curse and might never return. To many's surprise, three/fourths of the remaining Mewmans agree to this and leave.
This would later be revealed to be the result of Plaugis deliberately implied that the 'never return' bit could be overturned by a later Queen...
Since most Mewmans believed Moon and Toffee's marriage was a sham and had no hope to produce a heir, this naturally led them to think this would be a strictly temporary thing before a lack of a child annulled the marriage and they could come back with Moon's blessing...so they all packed up, willing sighed a mystically binding agreement that they and their progeny would never return unless they had royal approval and then left the country without a fight- just as Plaugis had hoped -all the while smugly confident that this was temporary and that they'd soon return to a Mewman-dominant Mewni...
Needless to say...Stars birthday became a swear word for many...
With no Queens to coddle them, the Mewmans were forced to rely on their own 'skills' for the first time ever...needless to say most countries found themselves flooded with useless immigrants.
And as Plaugis predicted, they couldn't even be mad at Toffee for it as the Mewmans were so irritating, NO ONE could blame him for kicking them out...
...Sadly, this didn't stop the Johansen's from using this as an excuse to go to war.
The Johansen clan had been furious over the death of River...sadly, since River had instigated the fight in the first place, they had no cause for war...in fact; they actually ended up being forced to PAY Toffee reparations!
But you can bet they'd been biting at the bit since then to go to war with him...
And when they got that chance, you better believe they called in every political favor and alliance loophole to drag all the other countries against him as well...
What followed was a long bloody conflict between Toffee controlled Mewni and just about every other country in the land...
But aside from the Johansen's, all the other kingdoms were more minor players then anything...The Lucitors might've been able to beat him...but they were all wiped out and their kingdom shattered and scattered to the winds by Grevious...which naturally lead to the few remaining remnants of the former Lucitor military swearing allegiance to Toffee in gratitude for his defeated of the Kaleesh warlord...thus making things rather even in military strength...especially considering that with the Queen... 'out of Commission', the MHC were reluctantly forced to allow him usage of the wand to defend the kingdom...
The MHC- although bound by their oaths to protect the kingdom -used every excuse they could think of to at least remain neutral in the conflicts, and only did the bare minimum when forced.
Toffee had foreseen this however and had taken steps to keep his forces from being dependent on the Commission or hindered by them, more importantly he mainly focused his legal prowess's and royal privileges on forcing them to allow him usage of the royal wand and the royal archives.
This led to his discovery of the Solarian Guard creation spell...which would then lead to the creation of the TYPHON GUARD.
Never had there been a bigger middle finger to Solaria's legacy then this. Taking her crowning achievement and the ultimate symbol of Mewman superiority and monster slaughter...and turn it into the ultimate trump card that allowed monsters to maintain dominance...forget spinning in her grave, Solaria had to be IMPLODING now...
In any case the Typhon guard- named after the legendary father of all monsters -is in ALL monster elite guard, who through the now greatly tweaked Solarian spell is now the greatest symbol of TOFFEE'S authority.
As it is well known, most monsters are not only typically stronger then the average Mewmans but have more special abilities and skills then them.
Thus, whereas the Solarian ritual makes a normal Mewman more powerful, the Typhoon ritual will of course make the monsters even MORE powerful then the Solarians...and that was only NORMAL monsters...Star wasn't sure WHAT it did to high-tier monsters like her fellow Septarian's...but apparently her dad had made it a treason-level secret of the state...
Anyway; needless to say this was a MAJOR turning point in the war...sadly, despite the better quality of their troops and leader...they were still one nation against dozens of others. They could dish out more damage and have better tactics. But the other side could replace their losses more easily...
And thus...a 10 year long stalemate ensued.
Which believe it or not was actually Toffee's plan all along. Such war's of attrition tend to favored the one who were better at economics and logistics...
And the monsters- forced to beg for scarps and forage semi-edible food in inhospitable swamps for generations -were much smarter about this and far more flexible then their pampered counterparts in the other kingdoms.
The latter's situation was further disadvantaged by the loss of the Ponyheads. Who- despite being useless in most other things -were quite good at making themselves an integral economic power in the other nations financial infrastructure's. So the other nations were already facing a severe economic slump even BEFORE the war...
The other nations tried to remedy this by using raiding parties to burn down farms and blow up factories in Mewni...but this was not only less effective the hoped but it proved to have disastrous consequences.
Using tactics pioneered by generations of monsters hiding their supplies from Mewni marauders coupled with Toffee's newly acquired wand...magical construct 'dummy' infrastructure targets(factories, dockyards, marketplaces, farms, hospitals, etc) were created to lure most raider parties into ambushes and booby traps.
Worse, since they attacked civilian targets FIRST. Toffee was then justified to send his own raider parties to do likewise to the other nations- with far better and more crippling results -without the MHC being allowed to do anything to interfere.
And After 10 long years of hell...the other kingdoms found themselves completely and utterly broken...and then Toffee revealed his true ace in the hole.
Toffee had cleverly been secretly holding back the B1 battledroids, slowly building up a vast army reserve that had been modified to be truly independent of C.I.S. For while they maybe stupid, they made up in being cheap and easy to mass-produce in vast quantities...
Toffee deliberately allowed the stalemate to go on for years, patiently waiting for his battledroid armies to silently double...then triple in size...
Then after, 10 long years of Guerrilla warfare had devastated the other countries and stretched their armies to the brink of ruination...he released his droids in strategic blitzkrieg attacks...
Their superior numbers more then made up for their poor quality as they overwhelmed the already ragged and under-supplied troops...
It was an absolute massacre...finally the nations surrendered and Toffee and the budding monster nation was proclaimed the victor.
All surviving members of the various royal families were executed save for a few distant, weak and malleable half-relatives who Toffee arranged to marry some of his closest monster allies...thus birthing several more monster dynasty's at the expense of turning what little political power those shattered nations had left into puppet-states.
Then those leaders gave the people of those lands the same choice Toffee had given The Mewni rebels: Accept the new Status Quo...or be exiled...large portions chose the later...and those that remained...were left in ruin and poverty...
Until the C.I.S. swooped in and offered to rebuild their nations from scratch...
The nations eagerly agreed...blissfully unaware that their land and livelihood's was being slowly stolen out from under them.
Toffee- although fully aware of what they were doing -found it easier to publicly allow them to do as they wished...while making plans in the shadows...
But Star didn't have time to think more on this, the carriage was making it's final lap to the palace...The towering TYPHON guards briefly looked down to scan their vehicle to confirm their identity before allowing them to enter.
Plaugis politely helps Star down and has several B1 battledroids escort her to the arena.
Seeing two B1's crash into each other and stumble about comically, Star lamented how they couldn't buy the newer models like the B2's, the Droideka's or even the commando droids. But Plaugis had explained to her that in addition to the B1's being much cheaper and easier to mass-produce in emergencies...their simplistic design allowed for Toffee to subvert the failsafes that would allow the C.I.S. to override his control of them. Whereas with the newer models more complex design, such countermeasures simply aren't feasible.
For while the C.I.S. might 'technically' be their allies currently...Toffee trusted them about as far as he could throw them...which never made much sense to Star. Her father was super-strong! She could easily throw those wimps for miles!
"Oh, Star! Sweetie, how are you?"
Star felt her skin crawl as the pompous snob Remy Buxaplenty swaggered over. "I'm in top form today my dear! Daddy had the best combat instructors and gurus flown from all over! You might as well forfeit and make ready the priest for our nuptials!" He said haughtily.
Before Star could 'politely tell him where he could shove his nuptials-
"Uh, Lord Buxaplenty! While your concern for the Princesses health is commendable, it would be rather bad form for us to waste the time of all gathered by canceling the event. Wouldn't you agree?" Interrupted Plaugis quickly before Star caused yet another 'incident'.
"Oh, very well!" Said Buxaplenty with a resigned sigh, "I suppose etiquette must be upheld. Oh, and don't worry if you don't understand what were saying my dear! When we wed I'll hire tutors to help you deprogram all the barbarity you've accumulated by hanging out with these uncouth pheasants..." He says while swishing his cape in an attempt to be dramatic as he hurried off.
Star gritted her teeth as Plaugis brings out a random knick-knack for her to shatter and a Peep to drink and calm her nerves.
All the while Star tried to ignore the leers of all the 'eligible bachelors' from the nobility of local dimensions...Star was starting to feel like a 'prize pig' at a hog-calling.
"Why did I agree to this?" Star groaned.
"My dear, do remember that this was a compromise. You get the 'non-lethal' option in your Age of Ascension Ceremony(1) and your father gets more wealth and land for our people. Besides- if I maybe blunt -I'm not quite sure why tour so upset about this. Your going to wipe the floor with all your 'would-be-suitors'."
Despite the situation, Star can't help but smile at her mentors words of encouragement...she knew he was right...
She glares as Young Earl Montana Max makes a lewd gesture at her...BUT IT DIDN'T MAKE THIS ANY LESS AGGRAVATING AND EMBARRASSING!
And of course in addition to all her obnoxious suitors there were large bunches of Septarians who just wanted to flat out murder her.
Although her fathers attempts to rebuild the Septarian nation(2) had been largely successful thanks to the power of the wand and the resources of the kingdom to locate and reunite all the scatter tribes...there had been some 'snags'. Although his seizing control of the Butterfly throne had won him the admiration, respect and loyalty of most of his people...this did not extend to Star, unfortunately.
Star looked away from a snooty Richard Belzaris B. B. Becktratus, Jr. as he tried to show off his mystic Elemental staff of 'Longness' and took in the various Septarian tribes...
Green Septarsis: The weakest of the tribes, they had the standard great regenerative skills that all Septarsis possessed...but that was about it.
Blue Septarsis: They had the power to hypnotize people. They primarily worked in interrogation.
Red Septarsis: They had the power to convert people into hybrid slaves or even give inanimate objects life. They mainly worked as mechanics and weapon makers as a result.
Malachite Septarsis: They can vomit their venom many yards and cause insanity-inducing hallucinations. They acted as snipers.
Black Septarsis: They could burrow and travel to ridiculous speeds underground, they were also the strongest and could crush steel and shatter diamonds with their bare claws...they were also the dumbest.
Purple Septarsis: They could turn invisible and could unhinge their jaws to devour opponents many times their size. They often employed themselves as spies or assassins.
And of course she and her dad were the rare- and widely considered the most dangerous - Grey Septarsis...and maybe a couple other rare one's she couldn't remember...
In any case, she put such thoughts aside to focus on the one's on the arena floor...all of which were glaring at her...to which she just gives her best smirk... 'Bring it' she mouthed...
...
Meanwhile, a very somber Magical High Commission was making it's way to the VIP section. The last 14 years had been long and hard...bound by mystic oaths and contracts they could do nothing directly against Toffee...they did what the could INDIRECTLY though. They'd tried to back any other members of the Butterfly family willing to usurp him... Sadly the rest of the Butterfly's 'problem solving skills' mostly consisted of 'attacking the thing they don't like, until it surrendered'...thus leading to that brief but disastrous Mewman uprising...
Between that and what Moon TRIED to do...Toffee was given all the justification he needed to kills, disinherit or exile what few Mewman-born survivors remained of the once noble bloodline.
They had again tried to do their best to indirectly help out the later invaders...but Toffee- again -effortlessly predicted their plans and thwarted them...in the end the best they could do was simply remain neutral...
They got so desperate Rhombulus even considered Mina for help...but between still resenting her leaving them all to die when Grievous came(BOTH TIMES!) and the fact she'd only gotten WORSE since she'd 'retired'...they dismissed that idea without a second thought...
And now...well, between his now much stronger and stable power base, grand army fully built, greater political ties and alliances, numerous victories and accomplishments under his belt that had gained the Kingdom much glory and prosperity, and Dwindling Mewman population... Toffee's chances of getting removed from power was essentially slim to none...
And now they would be forced to hand the wand away to the next link in this... 'glorious' new dynasty...
"It's just not fair..." Sulked Rhombulus.
"Oh, just suck it up you big baby! We get to see some heads knocked together while we gorge on free snacks! Just make the best of it and quit your bellyaching!" Shouted Hekapoo...
Plaugis sat beside a rather bored looking King Toffee. Toffee had already looked into everyone that was coming to battle...and Star was so above and beyond them in her combat skills that he couldn't even be bothered to even PRETEND he was excited for the soon to be very 'one-sided massacre'...actually not even a 'massacre' as Plaugis had once again somehow managed to convince him to mollycoddle the girl and allow for a 'non-lethal' option...which essentially took his interest from zero to NEGATIVE.(3)
Plaugis nodded to the workers putting the final mystic 'jIvel 'e' yIchev!' stones around the arena; these would make sure that anyone knocked out would be teleported to safety and anyone that tried to leave the arena would be marked as disqualified. A green dome appearing over the combatants signaled it as operational...
He sat up on the podium and began to to make his speech in the intercom to the assembled masses-
GREETINGS MEWMANS AND MONSTERS ALIKE!
I THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON THIS HISTORIC DAY!
THE DAY OUR OWN PRINCESS STAR BUTTERFLY BEGINS HER ASCENT TO ADULTHOOD!
THE DAY SHE TAKES HER FIRST TENTATIVE STEP TO BE QUEEN!
MAY SHE CONTINUE TO BE A BRIDGE BETWEEN BOTH WORLDS!
He paused to wait as many applauded...and took note of those who did NOT...
THANK YOU! NOW IF THERE ARE NO OBJECTIONS, LET US BEGIN-
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
Everyone turns to see a large group of New Septarians coming in while chanting an ancient war chant of their people...
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
Many of these Septarians stood at ready in two lines thumping their chests and smashing their spears to the ground while chanting...
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
Between the two lines...another septarian march forward...
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
Hekapoo's eye's widen, "No way..."
"Impossible!" Shouted Omnitraxius...
"He's supposed to be dead!" Screamed Rhombulus while biting his snake hands nervously...which they did NOT care for...
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
For the first time since he'd gotten there, Toffee actually cracked an amused smile, "Well...this is unexpected..."
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
Seth the former Septarian king smiles, "Miss me?"
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
HEGHJAJ HARBE'WI'PU'!
Everyone was so busy panicking over the feared extremists resurrection, that no one noticed a small group of people being forced by another group of Septarians to march into the arena...their hands bound...
"what the blood is this?" Asks a captive Marco Diaz baffled...
...III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
(1): In order to better integrate Mewman and Monster societies. Plaugis suggested to merge as many of their traditions as possible. The 'Wand ceremony'- the traditional handing over the Royal wand to the Princess on her 14th Birthday -has now been merged with a traditional and very popular monster rite of passage known as 'jIvel 'e' yIchev!' It was SUPPOSED to be Star's official introduction into Septarian society by brutally slaughtering numerous warriors...but Star refused to kill...so instead it was now a- non-lethal optional -Battle Royal. All contestants are welcome! From Septarian detractors who want to 'put the filthy Mewamn Halfling in her place' to potential suitors who've been promised her hand if they defeat her. Said suitors have cockily bet all their fortunes and lands on themselves to win...needless to say; Star is the odds on favorite and the Kingdom of Mewni is expected to become quite wealthy from this...
(2): Before the coming of the Kaleesh, the Solarian warriors were all but unstoppable. The only monsters that could defeat them was the Septarian. The Septarians actually got very close to conquering Mewni. Sadly there then leader Seth was hobbled by his refusal to ally with 'lesser' monsters or rely on 'magic' in any shape or form! This allowed Queen Solaria to eventually get the upper hand and use her wand to banish/scatter the Majority of the Septarian nation to the far corners of the universe. The Septarians never truly recovered after that...at least until King Toffee ascended the throne. Using the power of the wand and royal scissors won through conquest of the other lands- Hekapoo always found a technicality or reason to not make him his own -he has finally started to gather the lost tribes of Septarian and rebuild their once fallen nation. Unfortunately, although these newcomers greatly respected/feared/admired Toffee for his accomplishments, conquests and 'breaking' the Buttefly's dominance in ways they had never hoped for, even in their wildest sadistic dreams...this respect did not extend to Star; between her being half Butterfly and being seen as too soft to kill others...there were many Septarian that refused to acknowledge her authority or even her place among their kind...
(3): The best way to describe the relationship between father and daughter was ...'it's complicated'...'familial love' wasn't really a thing among Septarian's. A female never mated with any male that didn't best her in combat. Violently killing many males until one could beat here, the male would then leave after impregnating her. The multiple siblings in the females womb would fight each other to the death until only one survived...and would then kill and eat the mother from within. Thus...Toffee had no idea on how to be a parent, as it simply was never needed for his species to know of such things. Plaugis was forced to Play off his pragmatism to get him to at least TRY to have a proper relationship with her. Reminding him that if she was killed, died of disease, got disowned, exiled or turned against him by a political rival...it would give the MHC the excuse they needed to declare him 'unfit to rule' and DIRECTLY fight to overthrow him. So Toffee was forced to make the effort to at least keep her loyal and healthy. Now, to be clear: It wasn't that Toffee hated her or anything like that. Quite the contrary, Star was a constant reminder of his triumph over his people's most hated adversary. And although he was annoyed by her refusal to murder, he DID respect her strength and combat skills...it was just...he didn't know what to DO with her...or ACT around her...or form any real emotional attachments to ANY other people really...FAKE attachments sure...but nothing REAL...
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
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