Chapter warnings: Lab Flashback in the Zack POV (marked by separators), lots of fluff :)

Happy Friday! As always, I hope that everyone has had a good week :)

So last week we didn't see our favorite boys or flower girl, and I promised to make it up to you - I hope this chapter delivers! It's a ridiculously long one this time around, but that just means that we're a little bit closer to Wall Market. I am so excited.

Enjoy!


"This way."

Aerith's voice was calm as she guided Zack and Cloud through the dark Sector Eight backroads. She knew these alleyways well, and had taken them often when she had wanted some quiet after spending all day selling flowers. So she knew that the Sector One cargo station was close, just a five minute walk on foot.

But considering the present company… She bit her lip. Maybe it'll take closer to ten.

She tried to ignore the harsh whir of a helicopter flying nearby as she glanced over her shoulder. "We're almost there," she faintly smiled, and Zack nodded in acknowledgement. He was following close behind her with his hand splayed protectively along Cloud's back, which served to both guide the younger man along and make sure he didn't trip and fall.

And Cloud… he was looking worse and worse the further they went. Pale, unsteady on his feet, and his eyes – strikingly bright and luminous from the mako poisoning – were glazed and unfocused as he stumbled forward. Though, every once in a while, his gaze would slide to Zack and he would jolt, as if seeing him for the first time.

"Real?" Cloud would quietly ask. And Zack, without missing a beat, would smile and reply: "Yeah, buddy. I'm real."

And then Cloud, after a long pause, would smile in response – a small, almost timid, but honest-to-god smile – before his expression would slacken, his gaze would drop to the ground, and the process would repeat.

Over and over and over.

"How much further?" Zack asked. His voice was quiet, almost gravely, and Aerith could hear how tense he was. How tightly his nerves were coiled, and it made her want to reach back and place a hand on his shoulder, or her palm against his cheek, or brush her fingers through his hair – just to offer him a little bit of comfort.

Instead, she slid her hand back and laced her fingers within his own, squeezing slightly. "Not far," she promised. "Maybe ten minutes more?"

"That sounds good," Zack murmured, and squeezed her hand in return before they separated. They separated partly so that she could resume guiding them through the complex network of backroads and alleys, but it was also because Zack needed to give Cloud his full attention. Cloud was struggling; the closer they got to the freight station, the closer they were to the ruined shell of Mako Reactor One, and the less responsive Cloud became. And as the mako fumes and scent of smoke had grown more pungent, the more heavily he leaned upon Zack. The more his footsteps stumbled on the ground. The more he flinched from lurching shadows, and each time, Zack provided some form of comfort.

"It's okay Spikey, I got you."

"Yeah, I know, I don't like that sound either."

"Watch out for that box. We wouldn't don't want to trip and sprain an ankle, now wouldn't that suck right now."

Aerith couldn't help but notice just how… natural Zack was at caring for Cloud. It was as if he had settled into some sort of routine as they hurried through the alleys, and it had come so easily to him. As if it he had done this often.

And he had, she quietly reminded herself, even as the realization twisted something within her. At one point, this was his every day.

But she also noticed something else as they walked; that Zack, while he was hyper-focused on Cloud, was neglecting himself a little. He, like Cloud, also flinched from the explosions. Also wrinkled his nose at the harsh scent of mako, and his eyes also jumped from shadow to shadow, looking for threats, searching for escape routes. The only difference was that Cloud, in his mako-poisoned haze, relied on Zack to decipher it for him. Meanwhile Zack had... no one.

It broke her heart.

Resolving to be that person - that person that he could rely on, completely - she once again slowed her pace and reached back, grasping Zack's hand within her own. "We're almost there," she promised with a faint smile.

Zack squeezed her hand appreciatively, and this time, he did not let go until they had reached the freight station, which was just as empty and rundown as Aerith had known it would. The streetlights, the few that still worked, were dim. The road was cracked and in desperate need of repair, and the freight trains – all neatly lined up on their separate tracks – were old, with some rusted permanently in place. Graffiti had been scrawled up and down their lengths, and it added splashed of color to the otherwise eerie, dreary, dark station.

In fact, the only indication that the station was not abandoned completely was a small outpost, which was situated directly beside the rows upon rows of tracks. Warm light spilled out from underneath its closed door, and Aerith could see a silhouette moving behind the closed curtains.

"Now what?" Zack murmured beside her. He had gently set Cloud down against one of the empty trains, and the mako within Cloud's eyes burned unnaturally bright and hot as he lazily looked about the station - the tell-tale sign of a mako poisoning relapse. Zack knelt beside him, his brow furrowed with worry, his lips set in a thin line. "Do we just… get on a train? Or..." His voice trailed off.

Aerith dusted off her dress, but only managed to streak the pink fabric with gray ash. "I'll talk to Geoff and explain what's going on," she replied. "He can help us."

"Geoff?"

"I sell flowers to him, sometimes. But anyway, he'll be at the conductor's station, so I'll just say hi, tell him the situation, and then I'll come right back. Okay?"

Zack's eyes widened with alarm. "I'll come with you," he said hurriedly, already moving to stand. "What if -"

"It's perfectly safe, I promise." Aerith placed her hands on his shoulders and gently guided him back down, so that he was once again kneeling beside Cloud. He looked up at her, every bit the wounded puppy, his mako stained eyes bright and confused. "I can take care of myself, you know," she added with a soft smile. "Besides, I think Cloud needs you the most right now."

Zack bit his lip. "But -"

"I'll be right back, Zack." A sudden breeze brushed against her, pillowing her dress and sending her hair spilling over her shoulders. "I promise."

Zack watched her for a moment, brow furrowed, his mako-stained gaze luminous in the dark. Then, after a lengthy pause, he finally sighed and said, "All... All right." He eased himself fully to the ground, right beside Cloud. "But..." He lifted his head, and his gaze – his torn, conflicted expression – told her everything that he wanted to say, but couldn't. "Come right back?"

"I will," she promised, and planted a small kiss on his bare temple. She could hear his sharp intake of breath, could feel him go rigidly tense beneath his gentle touch, and her breath warmed his temple as she said again, "I'll be right back."

Zack thickly swallowed. "O... Okay."

And with that – and one last, briefly shared smile – she began to head for the outpost and hoped to the gods above that Geoff was on shift tonight.

He was.

"Aerith!" Geoff shot to his feet the moment Aerith had pushed open the small outpost door. Geoff was a larger man, as he spent most of his days holed up in the conductor's outpost watching the few trains roll in and out of the weathered station. Still, he dressed surprisingly nice; full suit, coat and all, and a small-rimmed hat the shadowed his dark eyes.

As for the outpost itself, it wasn't much to look at. It was little more than a single room with a large window overlooking the trains, and was currently filled with empty chip bags and the lingering stench of cigarette smoke. But still, Aerith pretended not to notice it when Geoff walked towards her and enveloped her in a right hug. "What the hell are you doing here – pardon the language," he quickly added, pulling away, though his large, calloused hands never left her shoulders. "This is no place for a lady such as yourself, especially not on a night like this. The reactor blew. It's - It's dangerous. Your mother must be worried sick."

Aerith winced at the thought. "Yeah, about that... I was actually hoping to ask you for a favor."

Geoff's expression shifted. "What sort of favor?"

"Well..." Gods, where did she even start. "The thing is… when the reactor blew up, a friend of mine was caught in the explosion got hurt." Wasn't exactly a lie; she just didn't mention that Cloud was the one who helped blow it up. "And since the Sector Eight passenger station was far away, and the road was dangerous, we ended up coming here instead. And I was hoping..."

"You need a ride down," Geoff quickly summarized.

Aerith wrung her hands. "Yeah, kinda. Me, and... two others."

"Hmm." Geoff watched her with a curious expression. "Well, none of my business. Next train leaves in an hour. You're welcome to board, as long as we keep this between ourselves, understand?"

"Perfectly," Aerith promised, before continuing, "And also, do you have any sort of first-aid kit? For my friend."

"First aid kit?" Geoff rummaged through one of the cupboards. "I do – small, though. Think it'll be enough?"

He handed her the first aid kit, and it was small. It only contained a few bandaids, one roll of bandages, and antiseptic spray.

"It'll be enough," Aerith said, hoping that that was true. Cloud's arms needed to be bandaged, and he had the nasty cut on his cheek as well... Closing the first aid kit, she added, "Do you have any potions, by chance?" Potions were uncommon and expensive, and Aerith knew that the chances of Geoff having one were slim-to-none. But still... as far as she knew, they were the only thing that eased the symptoms of mako poisoning. So she had to ask. She could at least do that.

Geoff arched an eyebrow. "Potions?"

"Well… my friend, the one who got hurt. He also has mako poisoning."

Her voice trailed off, because she didn't need to say anymore. Geoff's expression had darkened considerably, and he finally said, "No, I don't." He smoothed out the rough stubble on his chin, his gaze thoughtful. "Is your friend nearby?"

"Yes, he's just outside."

"Show me."

Aerith bit her lip – Would Zack be okay with that? she wonderedbut then decided, He and Geoff would have met anyway, once we boarded the freight train.

Coming to a decision, she said, "Follow me."


Usually, Zack liked looking up at the night sky. He enjoyed the vastness of the stars, the eternity of it all, the way the sweeping, blinking expanse blanketed the entire world. After he and Cloud had escaped the lab, it had been a comfort to know that Aerith was somewhere beneath that same exact sky. That even though she was over a continent away, they were sharing the exact same stars.

And during his many sleepless nights, when the sky was clear enough and the area was relatively safe, he would stare up at the stars and find patterns between their empty spaces. There were a few constellations that he was particularly proud of: His house, buried within that glittering tangle above him, was one. His Buster Sword was another, with three bright stars forming the hilt and five more forming the blade itself, but his favorite was a blooming flower that hung, suspended, over the general direction of Midgar. He had crafted it out of a swirling, dusted nebula, and it symbolized everything that he wanted: a flower for Aerith, and Midgar was where Aerith was. So when the twisted nightmares and haunted memories kept him awake at night, that twinkling flower was where his gaze would naturally gravitate towards. His tired eyes would trace its curved edges, the empty spaces between its blinking stars, and he would imagine that Aerith was tending to her own flowers. That she was okay and safe and happy. And it was a gentle thought, one it gave him a small measure of comfort where there was none.

Tonight, however, he kept his gaze firmly fixated on the ground. The ground was safe. Boring. Normal, which was a striking contrast to the blooming fire and mako-stained smoke scraping the sky above him. Zack hated that green glow. Hated what it reminded him of, and he hated its smell most of all. That metallic, ozone scent that had burned his nostrils for four years.

And what a long four years it had been. It made Zack's stomach twist just thinking about it.

But things will be better now, he reminded himself as his gaze slid to Cloud – his best friend, his lab buddy, his brother by choice. I'll make sure of it. His eyes followed the light curve of Cloud's cheeks, taking in just how shallow and pale they were, before coming to rest on Cloud's glazed expression; on his too-bright, too-luminous, mako-burnt eyes. The mako poisoning was flaring in a bad way, but Zack tried not to focus on it on too much. Sure, Spikey wasn't feeling super hot right now, but he was alive and awake, and that was an improvement.

Right?

"Hey, Cloud," Zack murmured, unable to take the silence any longer. He shifted Cloud slightly against him, just as he had so many times before, and Cloud moved easily against him. "I guess you beat me at becoming a mercenary."

Cloud slowly blinked, the sound of his name tugging at his consciousness. "...Zack?"

Zack managed a thin smile. "That's me."

Cloud's gaze slowly slid towards Zack's face. "R – Re..." His voice was a hoarse, a dry rasp irritated by both smoke and mako fumes. "Real?"

"Yeah, buddy." Zack attempted a smile, but it was tight and painful and everything a smile shouldn't be, so he ruffled Cloud's hair instead. "I'm real, I promise." Cloud's head bobbed limp beneath his palm. "You gonna ask me that all night?"

"Bu… But…" Cloud's voice trailed off as his eyelashes fluttered, fighting for consciousness.

"But?" Zack prompted.

Cloud's eyes, which had fallen to Zack's chest, slowly drifted back towards his face. "But I…" he murmured, stumbling over the worlds. "I – I saw..."

"What did you see?" Zack asked when Cloud's voice trailed off once again.

Cloud swallowed again. "Saw… Saw blood..." His eyes suddenly widened, the mako within them flaring hot enough that their natural blue was entirely swallowed by green. "Blood on – on the st – stairs, and there... there…!"

He's talking about the Nibelheim reactor, Zack realized. When Sepheroth cut me down.

And just like that, all of the pieces fell together. That's why Cloud thought I was dead, Zack suddenly knew. He just assumed I had bled out or something... and now he thinks that I'm a hallucination.

"Hey hey hey," Zack soothed, even as Cloud's hands flew to his temple. The metal pads on his fingertips dug into his skin, threatening to bruise, and Zack quickly gathered up Cloud's hands in his own. Just to make sure he wouldn't accidentally hurt himself any more than he already was. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm here. I'm alive, I promise. I'm real."

But wait, Zack thought, even as he continued to hush Cloud, who's breaths had gone ragged and erratic. That doesn't make any sense though. Cloud knew I survived. We were in the lab together, he knew that I was there. Hell, our cells were right next to each other. So why...

Of course. The answer hit Zack far harder than any bullet. The mako poisoning. It gave him... amnesia, or something. Probably. Maybe?

"Cloud, it's okay, it's okay," Zack continued to repeat. "I got you; you're safe now."

But Cloud didn't seem to hear him. His hands spasmed in Zack's grip and his breaths came in short, tight gasps – gasps that were occasionally punctuated by a small whimper.

A whimper that Zack had heard before...


and he could only watch as Cloud squirmed against the metal table. His too-thin body had been stripped of clothes, and he had been strapped down with metal bands – not leather, not anymore, not after Zack ripped them off the last time.

"Don't touch him," Zack snarled as Hojo strode across the lab room. Like Cloud, Zack had been similarly stripped and strapped down to a table; for what, he could only guess… but he tried not to. Tried not to guess. He didn't want to go there – to start guessing like that, to imagine what horrible thing Hojo would do to them next. It wasn't good for him. It put him in a bad place, made him fall apart, and he couldn't go there. Not again. Not when Cloud needed him so… so desperately.

As always, Hojo ignored Zack. Instead the mad scientist walked right up to Cloud's table and stared down at him. Zack could see Cloud's wide, terrified eyes reflected in Hojo's wide-rimmed glasses.

"Hmm… yes," Hojo finally said, and his voice grated against the walls themselves. "The injection of JENOVA cells appears to have inhibited the cellular development of the specimen – or rather, Sample C," he corrected for the recording. "This finding is supported by the study of the subject's cellular structure, in which the JENOVA RNA is passing into the subject's nucleus, replicating using the host's own transcriptase, and then passing through the plasma membrane as a single packaged unit. This unit is then seems to travel to other host cells at random, thus becoming self-replicating… much like a virus," Hojo finished, his tone amused. "Yes, very much like a virus."

Cloud, having understood nothing but 'JENOVA cells' and 'virus,' stared up at Hojo in horror.

"You here just to give us a lecture?" Zack demanded, trying to pull Hojo's attention away from Cloud. Let Hojo experiment on him for once. He could take it. "Or just to hear yourself talk?"

But he went ignored, as usual. Hojo did not casually speak to his subjects, and instead continued, "However, the JENOVA self-replication model lacks specificity, and its replication appears to be very much random. There is no, for lack of better word, control." And with that, Hojo then pulled a vial out of his pocket – one, Zack noted, that had a very long needle attached to the end.

Cloud immediately went very, very pale and very, very still.

"For experiment forty-eight," Hojo said to the recording, "I hypothesis that the addition of S-Cells into Sample C's internal carotid artery, and thus to the brain, will firstly induce a reaction similar to previous REUNION samples, but will secondly introduce order to the JENOVA cellular self-replication model. In three..."

He unscrewed the cap of the needle, and Cloud shifted against the table, terrified. "No," he whispered. "No, please."

"...two..."

"Don't you fucking dare!" Zack screamed.

In a much quieter voice, one punctuated by grating, gasping sobs, Cloud begged Hojo not to do it.

"...one…"

Hojo placed the needle against Cloud's neck. "No, no, no," Cloud muttered even as the tears slipped down his cheeks. "No, I can't, please, I can't do thi-" His voice ended in a small gasp as Hojo slid the needle in, and then he whimpered. Loudly. It was a harsh, low sob that nearly dragged something similar out of Zack.

"Injection complete," Hojo said into the quiet.

Zack tore at the metal bracers holding him to the table. His vision had gone red, his veins white-hot. There was a roaring in his ears. "I'll kill you!" he was screaming, and his voice drowned out the softer sound of Cloud quietly crying, too far gone to be embarrassed by it or care who was watching anymore, and Zack tasted copper. He thrashed all the harder against the metal…


"… Shit," Zack gasped as the flashback abruptly ended. He pinched his fingers against the bridge of his nose, against the dampness gathering there. Shit, shit, shit. This is why he tried not to think. Tried not to get inside his own head, because it was a mess in there, and he -

"Z – Zack?"

"I'm here, buddy," Zack automatically replied. His face felt hot, and he quickly wiped his eyes even as he forced his lips to smile, forced his shoulders to relax. Remember: be strong. "What's up? You doing okay?"

Cloud was looking up at him, and had seemingly forgotten his earlier distress. His bleary eyes had also lost a bit of their brightness, which was a good sign, but now he simply looked… exhausted. He could hardly keep his eyes open as he murmured, "O...kay?" He paused, blinking slowly, expressionless. "You... sad?"

Zack's eyes widened in surprise. He noticed. He didn't think Cloud was aware enough to notice anything happening around him, and the realization had his lips tugging into another small smile. "Don't worry about me," he said, voice low. "I'm okay. Just remembered something… not very fun."

Cloud stared at him for a long, drawn-out moment. "Not… fun?"

"Nope. Not even a little bit."

"Sa...ad?"

Fixated on that, huh? Zack's smile softened. But of course he is. During the first few months of the lab, Cloud had been the same way – hyper-aware of anything and everything Zack had said or did, and all because he had caught Zack in the cell over tearing up about having a dream of home.

The memory had Zack blinking at the ground. That night, Cloud had made shadow puppets against the wall to help him get his mind off of things. Apparently it had been something that Cloud and his Mom had done together when he had been little. Bears, deer, rabbits, birds… Cloud could make any shape with his delicate fingers, even when Zack requested more and more challenging ones. Making a wolf had been particularly hard for him; Cloud hadn't been able to get its snout quite right, and it tugged a dry chuckle out of him even as he wiped his eyes.

"Sorry, buddy," he murmured. "Not sure why I'm getting so emotional right now." He looked down at Cloud, who continued watching him with a glassy, glazed expression. "Just remembering too much at once, I guess."

Cloud's brow furrowed slightly. "Remem...bering?" he finally echoed. His voice was so quiet, even Zack - with his enhanced hearing - strained to hear him. "Bad…?"

Zack almost laughed at that. "Yeah, some of it was bad." Gods, a lot of it had been bad – worse than bad – and the memory of Cloud strapped to that fucking metal table surged once again to the forefront of his mind. Zack nearly choked on the memory, and couldn't stop himself from pulling Cloud in tight embrace against him; just to reassure himself that Cloud was okay, that he was here, that he was awake. Co-dependence echoed somewhere in his mind, but he ignored it. At this point, he was justified. Too much had happened not to be.

Cloud made faint noise of protest, the sound muffled against the crook of his neck. "Sorry, Spikey," Zack murmured, even as he pulled the smaller blond in closer. "I know you're not a big hugger, but… but humor me for a second, okay? Just…" He shakily inhaled. "Just for a second."

There was a lengthy pause, then: "Mmph… 'kay..." Cloud's body relaxed as he allowed Zack to hold him, too deep in the mako-poisoning flare up to fully understand what was happening. "S – Sad?"

Zack slowly inhaled. "Just some bad memories, Spikey." He shifted Cloud against him so he was less draped against his chest and face mushed into his shoulder, but instead more upright, a little more seated. "But it's done now," he continued as he met Cloud's bright, mako-laced, glassy eyes. "It's over."

Cloud slowly blinked at him, his expression slack. "Ov… ver?"

"That's right. Over," Zack stated, and he pulled Cloud against him once again. Cradling him, like he had every time Hojo had thrown Cloud into his cell with the order to calm the specimen down. Cloud made another faint noise of protest.

"Sorry." Zack immediately easing his hug – must have squeezed a little too tight. "But it's over, in the past, and it's only uphill from here, Cloudy." Zack attempted a grin. "Though I still can't believe that you beat me at being a mercenary. That was my idea, you know."

He felt Cloud's eyelashes flutter against his neck, the teasing lost on him. "My… idea…?"

"No Spikey, my idea. But I guess we can share that one." Zack shifted his weight against the train wheel, trying and failing to find a more comfortable position. "We had a lot of good ideas, huh? Remembered when I told you, back out in the middle of gods-forsaken nowhere, that we were going to form a band?"

Cloud faintly sighed. "B – Bad..."

"No, buddy. A band, not bad."

But Cloud wasn't to be swayed. "Ba… bad… s - singer," he finally managed. "Bad."

Zack's eyes shot open, but then he laughed. The sound echoed through the train yard. "Yeah," he said, grinning. "I guess I am a pretty bad singer, huh?"

Cloud blinked, long and slow, before his lips twitched into the smallest of smiles.

And, damn it all, seeing that cheeky little grinalmost made Zack tear up again.

"And we can't have a band if I can't sing, huh?" Zack continued, blinking the moisture out of his eyes, still grinning. "Unless you want to be the singer."

After a lengthy pause, Cloud huffed. "Bad..."

Zack's grin broadened. "I'll take that as a no, then. And I think the mercenary idea is a bust, too." Zack shifting Cloud again so that the younger blond was again cradled, with his shoulder and head tucked against Zack's chest and legs sprawled against the ground. "You blew up a mako reactor – which we'll be talking about later, don't you worry – and I busted some Shinra heads a little while ago." Which, looking back, was pretty stupid of him to do. "So maybe we should stay low for a while. That would probably be the smartest thing to do, huh?"

"...Mmm..."

Zack glanced down at Cloud, though he could only make out the top of his blond, ash-flaked hair. "You're not falling asleep on me, are you?"

Cloud shifted slightly, deeply inhaling. "Nnnn…."

"No, huh?" Zack hummed, low in his throat. Liar. "Well, since you're not falling asleep or anything, is there anything in particular that you want to do now when you feel a little bit better?" When Cloud didn't reply, Zack seamlessly continued, "How about we celebrate your birthday? Or actually, you know what? We can celebrate both of our birthdays." He grinned, growing excited now. "We missed a bunch, you know. Like, way too many. Think we can get away with buying a cake for every year we missed?"

Cloud blinked, long and slow. "Miss...ed?"

"That's right, we missed a bunch. Like, hang on, let me do the math. You were sixteen when we went to Nibelheim together, right? So that would make you..." Zack added the years on his fingers. "Damn, you're twenty-one now, huh? And that would make me... twenty-three." He paused, wincing a little. "That's… That's a lot of birthday cake."

That seemed to get more of a reaction out of Cloud and he shifted again, the movement erratic and jerky. "Twenty… Twenty-one?" Cloud managed, his voice a low stammer.

Uh-oh. Zack heard it in Cloud's voice – that unsteady meekness, meekness that eventually gave way to a full-blown panic. "How about we think about that later?" he offered, brushing Cloud's choppy bangs out of his eyes. Cloud blinked against the touch, momentarily distracted by something other than his age. "It's really not a big deal, I promise. Trust me."

But it was a big deal, because if Cloud was surprised that he was twenty-one… then he probably had no idea how long they were in that lab together, right? Or how much time he had missed?

Wait.

Zack suddenly felt cold, as if he had swallowed ice-water, as a new thought occurred to him.

How much does Cloud know? He looked down at Cloud, wide-eyed. How much of the lab… do I have to tell him?

And then: Should I even tell him?

Zack bit his lip. Maybe… Maybe it was better to not remember. To just… happily forget everything and anything that had happened in that lab, because really, was any of that worth remembering?

But of course, if Cloud found out what had happened all by himself…

He winced at the thought. That's worse, he decided. Far worse than me just... telling him.

"...Zack?" Zack gaze dropped to the top of Cloud's head, at the blond hair that was nearly white in the dim lighting. Cloud's upset over his age had once again passed; his breathing had slowed, and his chest gently rose and fell as he fought against his mounting exhaustion.

"Yeah, buddy?" Zack asked. "What's up?"

"R… Real?"

"Yeah, buddy," he promised. "I'm real."

Cloud seemed to mull this over for a bit, his lips pressing together, before he finally sighed and closed his eyes. His head lolled against Zack's chest. "Real..."

Zack felt his eyes prick again, and he used his fingers to brush Cloud's hair out of his eyes; a distraction, but at this point, he wasn't sure for who anymore. "You better feel better soon," he quietly said. "Okay? We got… a lot to talk about."

Cloud didn't even stir against him, though he did mumble, "A... lot..."

"Yeah, buddy," Zack replied as he lifted his head towards approaching footsteps. "A lot." The footsteps sounded close, and he instinctively pulled Cloud closer to him even though he knew that it was probably just Aerith and her friend; and Cloud, hearing the same thing, didn't protest when he was squeezed again Zack's chest.

Aerith appeared a moment later, and she was followed by a larger man. He was well dressed despite the location, and also had a kind, weathered face. Geoff, Zack guessed immediately. The guy she had apparently sold a lot of flowers too.

"Back," Aerith said. In her hands was a small white box, and she handed it to Zack. "Here – a first aid kit. For Cloud."

Zack took it; it felt light, but it was better than nothing. "Thank you," he said honestly as he opened the kit. First he checked over the bandages, ensuring that they weren't dirty or torn. "I appreciate it."

"Of course," Geoff replied. "Us slummers have to take care of our own." His voice was just as Zack had expected it; low and gritty, like he had been made for the mountains instead of a dirty train yard. "So," he continued, "the blondie is your injured friend?"

"That's right," came Aerith's smooth reply.

Geoff made a low sound before turning his attention to Cloud. "Those are some nasty wounds you got there, son."

Cloud, recognizing that he was being addressed directly, only pressed himself a little harder into Zack even as his gaze dropped down to his arms. Zack was holding one arm and spraying disinfectant onto the abused skin, and Cloud slowly blinked as if seeing - and feeling - the multiple, tiny cuts for the first time.

"Ow," he finally mumbled.

"Sure looks like an ow," Geoff agreed before turning to Aerith. His tone quieter, he added, "He's the one with the mako poisoning, I take it?"

Aerith pursed her lips. "Yes."

"Shame, that." Geoff turned back to Cloud, his expression unreadable. "He look. young."

"He is," Zack replied, trying to keep his tone civil. Of course Cloud was young; hell, they all were. "When's the next train coming?" He began to dress one of Cloud's cleaned arms with the bandages. "Are we good to go?"

"Yeah, you're all good to go." Geoff scratched at his stubble. "An' I told this to Aerith, but I'll tell you, too. The next train arrives in about an hour. It'll be carrying a shipment of Junon Juice and Rocket Town Fizz, and it'll be a full load, so jus' find a spot near the door and keep your head low."

"We'll be careful," Aerith promised.

"What Aerith said." Zack inspected Cloud's arm, double checking that he didn't miss anything, before moving onto his other arm. He tutted when he saw that it was equally torn up, though it was already half-healed, with thin scabs covering most of the shallower wounds. "That looks like it hurt," he murmured before lifting his gaze to Cloud's cheek. "That, too. What the hell happened, buddy?"

"I'll leave you two to it, then," Geoff said, but Zack only half paid attention as he further inspected Cloud's cheek. "I gotta keep an eye on the radio, but I'll come back out when your train arrives, yeah?"

"Thanks, Geoff," came Aerith's soft reply. "We appreciate it. My mom will, too."

A blush dusted Geoff's cheeks as he walked away, his hand lifted in a wave.

It was only when Zack could no longer hear Geoff's footsteps did he allow himself to relax, if only slightly. Cloud, however, remained stiff and tense.

"You got beat up pretty good," Zack said, trying to keep Cloud distracted, to keep him from growing panicked again. "Try to eat a metal railing?"

Cloud slowly lifted his hand to touch the cut, but Zack gently grasped Cloud's hand and held it firm so he could continued cleaning it. Cloud didn't seem to notice. "Bul...let?" he finally managed to say.

Zack nearly choked.

"A bull-!" he started, but quickly caught himself. Though, there was no helping how his body went taunt, a rubber-band intent on snapping, and his voice was equally tight as he muttered, "A bullet, huh? And what about your arms?" He was proud of how calm he sounded, how collected. "What happened there?"

Cloud blinked at them, and there was no recognition in his gaze. "Th...There?"

"Yeah, Spikey. Your arms. Got lots of cuts all over them."

"Um." Cloud slowly blinked. "Glass?" He didn't sound very sure.

"Glass, huh?" Zack frowned as he inspected them again. It sure didn't look like just glass. Looked more like bomb shrapnel, though maybe a window pain had exploded? A few had been blown out from the fire, and the thought of Cloud being hit by that had him grimacing.

He only remembered to smooth out his expression when Cloud made a noise, low in his throat. "B – Bad?"

"No, no, definitely not bad," Zack said quickly as he cleaned Cloud's other arm. "It'll heal up quick, especially with how much mako you have in you. But how about we talk about it tomorrow?" he offered when Cloud's nose scrunched at the word mako. "Let's just… worry about getting on that train for now."

"And I bet my mom has already made dinner," Aerith added, kneeling beside Cloud. Cloud's glanced at her, slow and lazy, far too out of it to even be remotely embarrassed at being curled up and babied in Zack's lap. "We had some pumpkins growing in the garden, and I think she used one to make pumpkin soup."

Zack's stomach immediately tightened. "Gods, I love pumpkin soup," he said as he began dressing Cloud's other arm. "Especially with a little nutmeg and cream on top."

"You've had pumpkin soup before?" Aerith's eyes sparkled. "With nutmeg and cream? You?"

"My mom used to make it, whenever we got a shipment in." Zack turned his attention to Cloud's torn cheek; it was clear that someone had tried to clean it before, but had done a poor job of it. Blood was smeared across his pallid skin in rusty streaks, which made Zack's stomach turn just looking at it. Grabbing the antiseptic, he continued, "Well, we didn't have pumpkin soup often, though? Only when a new shipment came in, which happened… I dunno, year or so? And we could only afford one pumpkin, since it was kinda expensive."

"You couldn't just grow it yourself?"

"Nah, Gongaga had the wrong weather or dirt or whatever. Who knows." Zack dabbed Cloud's cheek, drying it, before slowly placing a bandage over the cut. "I sure don't," he added before saying to Cloud, "Now don't touch that, okay? It has to stay on if it's going to heal properly."

Cloud made an unintelligible sound in response.

"So," Aerith continued, moving to sit beside Zack, "what does grow in Gongaga, anyway?"

"You're asking the wrong person," Zack chuckled, leaning against the hard train wheel. Now that Cloud was taken care of and calm, he allowed himself to relax... if only slightly. "But let me think. Let's see… Have you ever heard of a Kaipo Mango?"

"Kaipo?" Aerith repeated, the word foreign and strange on her tongue. "No, what is it?"

Zack hummed. "Well, it's a pink fruit. About the size of a hand, maybe? It used to grow by the waterfall near the village, and during the summers, I'd sit in the branches and eat the mangoes until I got sick," he added with a faint chuckle.

"I can imagine that." Aerith rested her chin on her knees, grinning. "Are they sweet?"

"Very sweet." Zack's eyes grew distant at the memories. "And sticky. My mom would get so mad," he recalled, laughing, "because I'd wipe the sap on my shorts and end up staining them. She'd have the worst time washing it out, apparently."

Cloud's eyelashes fluttered. "Mm..."

"Yeah, Spikey?" Zack glanced down at him, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "You had some Kaipo Mangoes too, remember? You seemed to like them."

"Mm..." Cloud's fingers twitched as he tried to spit the word out. "Mm… Mom..." His eyes widened a fraction as he suddenly shifted, as if trying to stand, even though he could barely hold his head upright. "Mm… om..."

Zack winced. "Shh shh shh," he soothed, even as he gently forced Cloud to lay back down. Cloud's eyes jumped to his own, and Zack nearly grimaced at just how brightly the mako within them glowed. His mako poisoning was probably flaring up again. "You're okay. You're safe, buddy. That was a long time ago."

Cloud only blinked at him, his eyes too large, too bright, too young. "B – bu..."

"The train will be here soon," Aerith said, placing a hand on Cloud's good cheek, "and then we'll get on the train and head home." She glanced at Zack, the confusion in her eyes - Why did Cloud get so upset just now? - before she turned back to Cloud and continued, "There'll be pumpkin soup on the table, and after we eat, there'll be a warm shower and soft bed upstairs. How does that sound?"

Cloud, sufficiently distracted by the picture Aerith had painted, slowly blinked at her. "B… Bed?" he repeated, stumbling over the word.

"That's right," Aerith said, smiling. "A big, fluffy, soft bed. Does that sound good?"

That sounds hella good, Zack wanted to say.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Cloud's eyes finally fluttered shut. "Good…" he mumbled, before his breathing slowed and his head gently thudded against Zack's chest as he passed out.

"Cloud?" Zack couldn't keep the worry out of his tone. He shifted, moving to hold Cloud a little more upright. "Hey buddy, are you -"

"Zack, it's okay," Aerith gently told him. "He's just asleep. He looked exhausted; he was probably fighting to stay awake this entire time."

Zack blinked. "Oh," he said, brilliantly. Of course he was. The mako poisoning… He shook his head, almost chuckling at himself.

"Some rest is probably the best thing for him," Aerith continued. Her smile soothed over some of Zack's anxiety, even as she placed her small hand against Cloud's forehead. Cloud didn't even stir beneath her touch. "He does has a small fever, though -" Zack immediately tensed, "-but nothing a good night's rest won't fix."

Zack slowly exhaled."You think so?"

"I know so," Aerith said matter-of-factly before snuggling against Zack's side. She felt warm against him, a perfect fit. "He'll be okay, Zack. Really."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know, it's just..." Zack sighed. How could he explain it; how could he summarize the past year on the run, where the constant fear that Cloud would stop breathing in his sleep would keep him up at night. "I just wish… I wish that…" I wish that none of this had happened. "I wish that I could have done a little bit better. Taking care of him, I mean."

Aerith hummed. "I think you're doing a good job, honestly."

Zack nearly scoffed. "How so?"

"Well, just look at Cloud." Aerith tilted her chin towards Cloud, who was curled up on Zack's lap. His eyes were closed as he breathed, deep and even, and his expression slack – almost peaceful. "Look at how much he trusts you," she pointed out. "If you had done a bad job taking care of him, I don't think he'd fall asleep like that. Do you?"

"You never know," Zack grinned, though there was little joy behind his smile. "He was pretty exhausted."

"Hmm… Maybe, but I don't think so." Aerith placed her hand on Cloud's forehead, once again checking for a temperature; and once again, Cloud didn't stir. "You saw how he watched Geoff; Cloud didn't trust him at all. In fact," she added, turning to face Zack directly, "I think the only person he really trusts is you, Zack."

Zack managed a weak smile. "That doesn't sound very healthy." In more ways than one, his mind brutally added. After all, it had been his order to finish Sephiroth off that had got Cloud in this entire mess to begin with. And if Aerith was right, that he was the only person Cloud really trusted…

…. Well, it just sounded like a horrible idea, really.

But here they were.

"I just hope Cloud gets better soon," Zack said, breaking the quiet. He gently leaned to the side and rested his cheek against the top of Aerith's head, and her soft hair smelled like smoke and flowers. "Thank you," he said after a lengthy pause. "For being here."

He could feel her smile, and then felt her fingers interlocking with his own, holding his hand. Keeping him grounded. "Of course," she said, and her voice was a whisper in the night. "You doing okay?"

He squeezed her hand and, after another lengthy pause, murmured, "Yeah… I'm doing okay." He then tilted his head so he faced the top of her head, and her hair tickled his lips. "How about you? Doing okay?"

Aerith hummed, and he could feel the faint vibration against his cheek. "Well, I'm kinda in the mood for some pumpkin soup, to be honest."

Zack blinked… and then he laughed, deep and low. "Pumpkin soup does sound good," he agreed. "I'm starving."

"Me too." Aerith tilted her head up to look at him, and he couldn't help but smile. "Think Cloud would like it?"

"Definitely," Zack immediately replied. "Believe me, if he could eat what the infantry mess hall served and whatever I fed him during our, ah, one year camping trip, then he can eat some homemade pumpkin soup."

Aerith's low laugh rumbled through him. "You sound very sure."

"I'm positive," Zack emphasized… and then he realized that he was smiling. An honest, real, happy smile. That, somewhere during the conversation, he had begun to feel a bit lighter. That the pieces that had begun to crack and splinter within him and begun to mend, ever so slightly.

The realization had Zack's eyes pricking, and had him squeezing her hand three times. Three times for three little words, words he couldn't dare say out loud… at least, not yet. Not yet, because when he did say them next, he wanted them to mean more than just a… a feeling of his. He wanted them to be a promise. A promise of everything he had said to her, things like meeting her again, and staying with her, and showing her the sky, and fixing her flower cart, and… and everything else he hadn't been able to do, because the choice had been taken away from him.

But he was here now, wasn't he?

Didn't that mean something?

"Thank you," Zack said thickly. "I mean it. Really."

His voice had been muffled by her hair, but Aerith understood him anyway. She glanced up at him and smiled, her eyes bright beneath the flaming sky above them, and it squeezed something with Zack's chest. How many times had he imaged that exact same smile while submerged in a mako pod? Or strapped down to a metal table? Or sitting in his cell, cold and alone and wondering when the lab assistants would drag Cloud back?

How many times?

And each time, that smile had seemed so far away, so distant and untouchable that it had seemed more like a dream. That he could only get so close before it would slip through his fingers, like chasing smoke, like chasing wind.

And yet here she was.

Smiling at him. That same smile that he had dreamt of so many times.

And damn if he didn't squeeze her hand three more times – I love you – and maybe another three times after that – I love you – because he had so much to say to her, so much he needed to tell her about how much she meant to him, and how she was there for him even a continent away – I love you – but it all got caught in his throat and burned his eyes, until all he could choke out was, "Thank you."

For being there.

For waiting for me.

For everything.

And Aerith leaned her head into his shoulder and murmured, "Of course, Zack." The sky, bright with mako-laced fire and smoke, bloomed above them. "Of course."


Cloud dreamed.

He knew it was a dream, because he was sitting at the kitchen table watching his mom cook dinner, and that was impossible. Impossible, because he had arrived in Midgar months ago and was now assigned to the Shinra Security Guard sect, Unit B. It hadn't been what he wanted, exactly - SOLDIER First Class was his goal - but, still. Maybe it was a good idea to get some experience in the infantry first. Get some real battle knowledge before attempting the grueling SOLDIER exam.

But in the meantime…

Cloud pillowed his head with arms, his eyes never deviating from his mom's back. A slow, content smile curved his lips.

...Maybe this dream wasn't so bad.

"So?" Mom said, her voice sweet and happy and, as always, seemingly all-knowing. "Are you going to tell me how your day went, or are you going to have me guess?"

Cloud grinned into his arms. "Guess."

His mom's laughter filled the room, and... brought tears to his eyes? He quickly wiped it away, mortified. What the hell?

"Okay, fine, I'll play along. Mmm..." She thoughtfully stirred the pot of stew, her finger tapping against the stone countertop. "Did you see Tifa today?"

Heat immediately kissed Cloud's cheeks. "No."

"Oh?" He could hear the grin in her voice, that all-knowing smile. "Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Cloud huffed.

"Okay, okay." She laughed again at his expense, but there was no malice behind it, no bite, and Cloud found himself grinning again despite himself. She wouldn't figure out what he did today, not in a million, billion years. "Then… did you go to the mansion again? Even though I specifically told you not to go there?"

"No." A slimy feeling twisted inside of him at the mere mention of the Nibelheim Manor. No; he definitely did not go there.

"Good." She hummed, thoughtful, before setting the soup ladle down. Wiping her hands onto her white apron, she said, "Okay, then if you didn't see Tifa and didn't go to the mansion... Did you go to the reunion?"

Cloud lifted his head out his arms, his lips pursed in a frown. "Reunion?" That sounded... familiar, somehow. Though he could not remember why.

"That's right. The reunion."

With that she turned, facing him for the first time, and Cloud immediately went cold.

That's not Mom.

The thought snapped across his conscious like a whip and he shot upright, the chair clattering behind him. "Who are you?" he demanded. "Where's my mom?"

The woman facing him only smiled. Her lips as thin as cracked glass, and her skin was a pale, sickly blue, almost as if she was a recently drowned corpse or had been half-frozen in the winter snows. But it were her eyes that made Cloud's mouth part in horror. They were red, the exact same shade as blood, and the color was so vibrant that he could almost taste iron on his tongue...

... and electricity suddenly crackled through Cloud's head. The sharp static rolled within him, the sound high pitched and grating like a thousand birds bursting into song at once, and he clenched his teeth against it. "Re..." A sudden throb pierced his temple and he winced, his hands flying to his temple with a strangled gasp. "Re...Reun...Reunion..." he gasped out.

"That's right, my son." The pale figure took a step closer to him and caressed his cheek with her palm. "Now say my name."

The static in his head rose in a sharp crescendo; but the song clashed, the notes snapped midair, and the pieces shattered somewhere in his head. He winced. "Je..."

"Who am I?" the woman demanded; but suddenly it was not the pale woman but his mother, her thumb brushing against his cheek, soothing him. "Say it."

Cloud's lips parted, and a shuddering breath passed between them. "Jeno..."

"Say it, Cloud. I know that you haven't forgotten."

Cloud's eyes glazed over. "Jen...nov..."

"Did you really think that you could forget?" she asked -

- and his eyes snapped open, the mako bursting around his slitted pupil.

"Mother," he breathed.

His mother's smile widened further…

… and the world faded into white.


"We're almost home, Spikey."

Cloud's eyes fluttered open, and sensations immediately began to filter into his fragmented mind; mako-burnt eyes looking down at him, concerned yet soft. A strong hand splayed against his back. A strong arm cradling his legs. His head had lolled against something firm, and when he managed to turn his head, the first thing he noticed was that the world was dark.

"Oops. Sorry buddy, did I wake you?"

"Hush, Zack. Let him sleep."

He blinked once, slowly, trying to process it all. Trying to understand. But there was a fog in his mind, thick and heavy and he was lost in it. He couldn't find a way out. Couldn't find anything to grasp onto; all he could do was taste smoke on his tongue and mako, so much mako, that his ears roared with it… which sparked the memory of the reactor explosion so clearly, so violently, that he cried out.

Immediately, he was enveloped by warm arms.

"Hey hey hey. Shh. It's okay, Cloud. I got you, everything is fine. You're safe now."

There was a low, strangled sound, as if it had come from underwater.

"Yeah, I know it's dark and this sucks, but we're almost home, okay?"

Home.

Cloud's mind snagged on that word: Home. Sephiroth had – he had burned down his home, killed his Mom, killed Zack, and…

… and Cloud's thoughts grated to a sickening stop, and his gaze jumped to the mako-stained eyes above him. Searching. Searching for something familiar, but the world had a strange shine to it, all soft edges and a nauseating brightness...

"Za..."

"Yeah, Spikey. I'm here, I promise." Cloud felt the hands around him tighten again, pull him into something like a hug. "I'm real, okay?"

Real.

Cloud's eyes burned. Burned so bad, and he hung onto that little word - real - with everything he had before it could slip away from him again, before it could fade into the fog swirling around in his head. Because the fog was so thick, everything was so fuzzy and bright, that he closed his eyes against it...

… only to open them again when he felt something cool against his face. It took him a moment to realize that it was the wind, and another moment to realize that the world was swaying around him, a gently rocking he dimly recognized as being carried.

The hands around him suddenly tightened. "Awake again, huh? Sorry, was I walking too fast?"

But the words, little more than a tangle of syllables and consonants and noise, immediately faded from Cloud's mind as he turned his head. They were walking up a dirt road, and he could just make out flowers on the path beside them. Yellow ones, red ones, blue ones, and it softened something within him. Tugged at something buried deep, though he did not know why.

"Aw, Cloud. What's wrong?"

He didn't know. He didn't know what was wrong, only that something inside him hurt. Hurt so badly that he wanted to scream, but mostly, all he wanted was for the hurt to stop. He was choking on it.

"Shh. It's okay. You're okay, everything is fine. And we're almost to Aerith's house – as soon as we get there, let's get you something to eat, okay? Personally, I'm starving."

But the words were rapidly losing meaning, meaning and substance and…

…and then it suddenly got bright, and Cloud again squeezed his eyes shut as he tilted his head to the side, into whatever he was leaning again, where it was dark and warm and safe. Safe. He craved that safety, that stability, because now there were new voices; both feminine, one more lilting, the other a little more firm, and he didn't know who they were. Friend? Enemy? Threat? He didn't know. He didn't know…

"Hey hey hey, it's okay, Cloudy. I know, it's a little bright, so we're just going to go upstairs for a second, okay?" There was movement; the sound of boots against wood, the faint jostling as they ascended a flight of steps. "And Aerith and her mom will bring up some soup in a bit. How does that sound?"

He didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know.

"And how about we get you cleaned up? You've really been through it. And Elmyra – that's Aerith's mom, by the way – gave me some more bandages for you. And a potion! It's a little stale, but it should do the job. Be sure to thank her tomorrow, okay?"

Cloud's felt something being unwrapped off of his arm, felt something being gently peeled off of his cheek. Heard something being twisted, followed the sweet pitter-patter of rain. The sound lulled him. Was familiar somehow, and it eased something within him. Soothed the cracks that were spiderwebbed across his conscious.

"But you should probably eat something before taking the potion. Wouldn't want you puking it, huh? Now that would really suck."

There was a sudden chill as his bare skin was exposed, and then he was being eased into the falling rain – a shower, his mind suddenly, desperately grasped. A shower. The water was warm as it slipped down his skin and dripped down his hair into his eyes, and he allowed himself to be maneuvered, adjusted, balanced as something soft ran across his skin. Dried blood trickled down from his various wounds and mixed with the bathwater, staining it a faint pink.

"There – looking better already, huh? And..."

There was a knock. A hum of voices, and then the sound of something being creaked open. The soft drone of conversation, and then the door was being closed again. Cloud tried to turn his head towards the noise, but he was too tired, too weak, he couldn't move…

"Got you some clothes, and a towel," came a dry chuckle. "Should have thought of that before I stuck you in the tub, huh?"

But the words were drowned out by the shower, their meaning forever lost. But he didn't care. He was tired and the world was too bright, it hurt to to look at, and he blinked once more - the water running down his cheeks like tears - before closing them entirely...

...only to suddenly be pulled into awareness once again. A faint sound escaped his lips as a hand, cupped against the back of his neck, slowly lifted him upright.

"I know, I know, you're tired. But you really need to eat something, okay? A few bites, a drink of potion, and then you can go back to bed."

Though Cloud's mind was still fumbling over the words, his stomach tightened in response. Twisted. Demanded.

There was a faint chuckle. "See? You were hungry." The bed creaked, and then he was gently being set against the headboard. He slumped against it, boneless, before being readjusted. "Here – pumpkin soup, as promised. Hope you like cream."

Something brushed against his lips and he parted them on instinct. Warmth flooded his mouth, followed by spices, herbs, something rich and creamy and right; and the flavor drowned out the metallic taste of mako and smoke, the coppery blood, and he closed his eyes against it.

Another laugh. "Not too bad, huh?" A clink of metal against ceramic, then: "Want some more?"

Once again, something brushed against his lips, and he immediately parted them. Each bite further muted the metal taste against his tongue, filled him with warmth, and… and exhausted him.

He wasn't entirely sure when he closed his eyes; all he knew was that his eyes were suddenly opened again, and something like a whine escaped his throat.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. But you need to drink some of this potion, okay? You can go back to sleep after, I promise."

But he didn't want to. He wanted to sleep now, because he was full and warm and there was something soft underneath him, and he felt… he felt safe… and it was finally quiet…

"You gotta finish at least half of this," came the voice again, and then something cold was pressed against his lips. "Then you can pass out. Deal?"

Cloud squeezed his lips firmly shut in response.

There was a sigh. "Please, Cloud?"

Something wavered inside of him, and after a moment, Cloud allowed his mouth to be parted. A hand rested against his neck, tilting his chin upright as something thick and cold was slowly poured down his throat…

… and it tasted exactly like metal. Like metal and blood and smoke and ash, and harsh, overpowering birdsong exploded in his mind. The sound was high and lilting, a tangle of shrieking noise that hit him so suddenly and so violently that it had him jerking upright. He sputtered, the thick liquid dribbled down his chin as he spit it out, and his legs seized; it was a wild kick, desperate and raw, a feeble attempt to push himself away.

It was too much, too much, he couldn't – he can't…!

"No no no, please Cloud, you have to drink it. I know it's disgusting, but you'll feel better afterwards, I promise."

But it was metal, liquid metal and he was submerged in it, drowning beneath its warmth and it burned. Burned his eyes, burned his skin, and he thought he heard something tap against the glass…

"Za…a...ahh..."

"Shit." The same voice, tight with emotion. "I don't understand, it's hurting him, why would -"

"Try mixing it with the soup." A second voice, higher and feminine, but it sounded far away. "Maybe he doesn't like the taste." It was far away, too far, he was drowning…

"Yeah… Yeah, let's do that, could you hand me..."

And then something else was forced into his mouth, and he fought against it. "I know, I'm sorry, I know..." Warmth trickled past his lips, and while the metal taste was still there, there were other things too. A sweetness, a creaminess, a warmth that was so different from mako that it had him pausing. If only for a little bit.

There was a sigh from somewhere nearby. "How's that, Spikey? Was that a little bit better?"

The sound of a thousand birds faded from his mind as the taste of pumpkin overpowered his fragmented thoughts instead. He inhaled, and his lungs expanded with air instead of thick water.

"Look, see? Mixing it with the soup helped."

"Looks like it…" There was a sigh, tired and exhausted. "But anyway, Aerith, are you sure this is okay? Us staying here for the night?"

"Of course it is. Don't worry about my mom, okay? I'll talk to her some more. You just focus on Cloud."

Cloud blinked at the sound of his name – a name he recognized, because the fog was clearing again. A strange warmth was expanding deep within him, and the hopeless tangle of sights and sounds and feelings were slowly reordering themselves, aligning in a way that made sense. Something – a small, glass vial – was removed from his lips, and as the warmth further pooled within him, he noticed other things. He was sitting on a bed. Zack was sitting on a chair beside him, brow furrowed and eyes bright with worry. Another girl, her name lost, watching him with a light frown. A bowl of soup on the nightstand.

He licked his lips. "Za...ack..."

Zack immediately shifted closer. "Yeah, buddy? How are you doing?"

"F..." Cloud fumbled for the words he wanted, struggling to drag them out of the murky dark. "F...fine..."

Zack blinked, dumbly, before he ducked his head with a faint laugh. "You and I," he said slowly, "have very different definitions of fine."

Cloud managed a faint smile at that, but it slipped almost immediately. His conscious was fading and the world was descending into the dark, down, down, down…

Zack helped Cloud lay flat against the bed, and adjusted him so that his head rested on a pillow. Cloud's gaze followed him, his eyelashes fluttering as he fought to stay awake, just a little while longer. Just to make sure that... that this really was real, that he wasn't hallucinating anymore. "Get some sleep," Zack told him. "I'll be right here if you need anything, okay?"

Cloud's eyelids grew heavy. "But..."

"We can talk more in the morning," Zack said. "Does that sound al-"

But Cloud was asleep before Zack even finished his sentence.


Tifa's gaze rested on her glass of water as her hands cupped its sides, pressing tightly against its sides. It dewed against her palms, chilling her skin, but she didn't dare move her hands away. Instead, she only tightened her grip to the point that the glass creaked and threatened to shatter. All the while, her thoughts that whispered:

If only you hadn't introduced Cloud to the team.

If only you hadn't bought him that uniform and that sword.

If only you hadn't encouraged him to fight.

If only you put your foot down and said that he couldn't go on the mission.

If only you went with him.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

If only...

"Tifa?" A voice to her right had her head instinctively turning to Jessie, whose copper eyes were bright with concern. "You… You doing okay?"

Tifa thickly swallowed. "I'm fine," she choked out. "Just... What's the plan? Have we decided?"

"Let's go up at dawn, on the first train up," Biggs summarized. He swirled his drink in his glass, and the ice clicked together with every twirl. "There's only a few more hours to dawn, so it'll give us time to prepare."

Tifa's hands further tightened around her cup of water. A lot can happen in a couple hours, she knew. Hours was how long it took her childhood home to burn down. As for her father's death… well, Sephiroth had cut him down in seconds.

"There's nothing sooner?" she whispered. Her voice sounded brittle, even to her, but she couldn't find it within herself to care. "An earlier train, or... or a cargo route, or..."

"Sorry, Teef..." Wedge, who was sitting beside her, placed a gently hand on her shoulder. "The cargo routes are locked down pretty tight. We might get caught."

"The passenger trains are the safest option," Biggs added. "Easier to blend in, and since we already have our fake IDs..."

"...We're prepared for it," Jessie finished, offering Tifa another small smile. "Plus, we know that the fakes work since we used them tonight. Cloud's, too. So it'll be easy to bring him back."

"If he's still up there," Wedge quickly added. "Who knows? Maybe he's on his way right now."

Tifa's gaze once again dropped to her water glass. Cloud... Cloud wasn't on his way here. He would have already shown up if he was, and the image of him at the Sector Six station - confused, dazed, terrified of her touch before realizing who she was - flashed before her eyes. Squeezing her eyes shut against the image, she said, "I'm going too."

Barret's expression darkened. "Teef..."

"I'm going, Barret." Her gaze jumped to his, sharp and raw. "And that's that."

For a moment, Barret looked like he wanted to argue… but then he sighed, giving up. Rubbing the back of his head, he murmured, "Yeah. Yeah, all right. That's fair. But I can-"

"Out of all of us, you stick out the most," Tifa relentlessly continued. "So maybe it would be better if you don't... if you don't come."

Her words were barbed. Sharp, not like her at all, and she hated them the moment she spoken them out loud. Guilt gnawed at her at Barret's hurt expression. But at the same time... and she hated to admit this, even in the quiet of her own mind... but a part of her didn't want Barret to come. He had promised that he'd watch over Cloud... and that obviously hadn't happened. And it wasn't his fault. Not really, and she understood that, but… But to go on a mission with him, where trust was crucial and a lack of trust could get you killed…

She wasn't sure if she could do it. Not yet; maybe in the future, once she found Cloud and made sure that he was okay, that he was all right, and this entire thing was behind them. But she needed a little more time. She just... wasn't ready for that right now.

Barret seemed to understand, and after a lengthy pause, simply leaned back against the wall. Tifa couldn't remember him ever looking so tired.

"I'm gonna have to agree with Tifa on this one," Wedge finally said. "No offense Barret, but you really do stick out. You know - prosthetic machine gun arm, and all."

"How about I go with Tifa?" Biggs offered. "Or you, Wedge? We didn't go into the reactor, so maybe it'll be easier for us to go up to the top plate without setting off too many alarms." He meant for his tone to be as teasing, but it only depressed Tifa more. Cloud had gone inside the reactor. Did that mean that he had set off any alarms? Was someone else looking for him, besides them? "Or maybe we both can go?"

"Yeah, I'm down with that," Wedge agreed, before his expression suddenly lit up. "And once we find Cloud, maybe we stop by the pizza place on topside Sector Two? You know, as victory pizza."

Jessie shot him a dry stare. "Seriously, Wedge?"

"What?" he said, defensive. "Their pizza is good, okay? And don't tell me that you wouldn't want a slice. Or you, Tifa. Or Cloud! I bet he's never even had the pizza from there, huh? Think he'd like it?"

Tifa's gaze dropped to her glass. "He would," she murmured.

"There. Then it's decided." Wedge grinned at each of the Avalanche team members in turn. "Me, Teef, and Biggs will meet at dawn, go topside on the first train up, find Cloud, and then we'll go for pizza!"

"Can you bring some down for me?" Jessie batted her eyes, which did nothing to Wedge; he and his pizza fantasies were having a moment. "Wedge? Hello?"

"What?"

"Save me some pizza."

"I'll save you a slice, Jessie," Biggs said for him.

Jessie grinned at him. "My hero," she said, before reaching out and placed her hand over Tifa's; and Tifa was so surprised that she jerked upright, wide-eyed. "And we'll find him, Tifa," Jessie told her. She squeezed the other girl's hand. "I know we will."

Tifa blinked at her, her eyes watery, before she smiled. It was a small smile, and it felt like something within her was cracking, but…

"Yeah," she managed, and quickly wiped her eyes before any of the tears fell. "Yeah, I know."

"We should all get some rest before we head back up, then." Biggs pushed himself off of the bar stool before stretching, his arms lifted over his head and back arched. "When does the first train leave?"

"5:30 in the morning, sharp," Wedge immediately replied.

"Perfect." Biggs glanced to Tifa, and his expression softened. "See you then at 5:15AM, at the train station?"

Tifa's expression hardened. "I'll be there," she swore.

Biggs' head jerked in a nod, and with that, they all began to file out of the Seventh Heaven and into the cool night. Biggs and Wedge waved goodbye, and Jessie gave Tifa a quick hug before heading to her own apartment. Tifa, after a sharp inhale, moved to follow them onto the dirt road, but Barret cleared his throat behind her.

"Teef..." he began.

Tifa bit her lip and didn't – couldn't – turn around to face him. "Yeah?" she managed.

"I just wanted to say..." His voice stalled. "Say that… that I'm sorry. For not bringing him back home. I know how much he means to you, and -"

"Don't." Tifa's voice was a hoarse whisper, one that was almost drown out by the stale breeze pushing itself across the dirt road. "Not… Not now, Barret. Please." The way he said it... it sounded too much like Cloud had died, or something. And she didn't want to think like that. Not right now, not when she was going up to look for him in a few hours. She couldn't. She needed to... to focus on the positives, instead of drowning beneath everything else.

For a long pause, all she heard was silence behind her; silence that was occasionally punctuated by a cricket, or a flickering light bulb, or a distant laugh echoing from a different bar. Then: "Okay, Teef." Barret almost sounded defeated. "Okay."

Tifa bit her lip. "Thank you," she managed to choke out, and then she was walking back to her apartment, her back ramrod straight, her throat so tight that she felt like she was choking.

We'll find him, Jessie had told her. I know we will.

And Tifa hoped so. She really, really hoped so, because if they didn't find Cloud… and if it turned out that Cloud was dead…

She sucked in breath.

If they didn't find him… she didn't know what she'd do.


I swear that this is still a fix-it fic!

So in case that this isn't translated well into the story, what Cloud has been going through since basically the reactor mission is a mako poisoning relapse; he had been slowly piecing himself together ever since Tifa found him, but his mind wasn't nearly stable enough to be exposed to so much mako in the reactor (not to mention the fighting, explosion, hallucinations, etc) and seeing Zack alive completely pushed his delicate conscious over the edge. But don't worry, he'll be fine! He and Zack need to have a conversation, after all... (poor boys)

Next chapter will be published on Friday, August 14th (follow Rand0mSmil3z on Twitter if you'd like to see previews). Until then, stay well, stay safe, and I wish you all the best :)

If you like my writing, it would mean the world to me if you'd support my writing by either buying me a coffee via Ko-Fi or checking out my published books (links can be found on my profile). Of course, there is absolutely no pressure to do so - if you're happy with Halcyon Days, then I'm happy :)