Something I forgot to mention, if you like musicals, have fun with the chapter titles! All of them are a spoof/play on words/reference to a musical/song
Mad Dawg looked up at the large building in front of him, on top were the words… 'Hazbin Hotel' lit up in bright lights. Mad Dawg looked at the door and sighed, figuring that this may be a place to not only get some directions or an explanation, but maybe a place to stay. Yes, he knew he was in hell, but he had other questions. Pushing through the doors, he looked around the gothic-style interior, it seemed like it wanted to be friendly, but at the same time seemed like a haunted house. Dawg had to admit, it looked cool. The aesthetics and colours gave the whole place a unique feel. It was also oddly quiet, and Dawg couldn't tell if there was a front desk or who he was supposed to talk to about getting a room though… if that was even a thing here.
"Hello?" He called, his voice still sounding weird as he walked down the front hall. His right hand tentatively over the holster where his shottie rested, ready for a sudden fight. He had that feeling that he was being watched from all around, and what annoyed him was he couldn't say why, where, who, or how.
"Hey big boy…" He heard a familiar voice say in a silky, seductive tone.
"Oh, piss off…" Dawg growled as the pink-and-white spider hooker (Angel something? Mad Dawg didn't care) suddenly appeared from nowhere. Mad Dawg had run into him a few times over the past few days, and while he seemed like someone Mad Dawg could potentially call an ally, he seemed way more focused on trying to ahem 'pursue' Dawg (which was weird on MANY levels). "Have you been following me?"
"What? No." The spider replied the playful tone suddenly disappearing. "You really think I'd run all over hell looking for you?"
"Then what are you doing he-"
"When I knew you'd eventually come to me?" The spider cut him off. Smirking at Mad Dawg, the mutant gave a flat look before blinking and turning around deciding he had seen enough. Brothel.
"Yeah… I'm outta here…" He said, turning and beginning to walk away, only for another figure to be standing directly in front of him. He was a tall man dressed all in red with red hair, a huge smile and cane with a microphone on it. He seemed like the demon the posters had warned about.
"Uh…"
"Don't mind Angel Dust my boy!" He said, his voice sounding like it was being played through an old radio filter. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! Hell's premier hotel!"
"Hazbin… hotel?" Mad Dawg repeated, having seen the sign outside, but also partially believing this was probably a front for a brothel. "Well, that answers one of my questions."
"If you're questioning why you're here, well most likely you were a terrible person in life, and never atoned for your sins!" The tall man continued, suddenly leading Dawg into the lobby. "But that's okay! Here at the Hazbin Hotel, our fearless leader believes she can rehabilitate demons such as yourself and have them heaven-bound in no time flat!"
"Does that actually work?" Mad Dawg asked, surprised by the statement.
"Who knows? I'm just here to watch sinners struggle."
"Alright, I guess I died." Mad Dawg shrugged, seeming shockingly nonchalant about the fact he was dead. Yes, he had been having this conversation with himself, but hearing it from someone else made it real all of a sudden. He took a few more steps than froze in place. "Holy crap, I'm dead. I've been here a week. HOW HAVE I JUST NOTICED THIS!?"
Mad Dawg blinked, then shrugged.
"Eh. It was gonna happen eventually." He remarked with a shrug, not seeming to care all that much about the fact that he was dead. If he had ended up here after he killed Akande, his reaction may have been different, but after somehow cheating death a few times, and having a mental breakdown about five days ago, Mad Dawg just sort of… accepted it. While he didn't see it, the tall figure seemed a bit surprised by his reaction.
"Oh, you're as dead as your hopes for your haircuts not taking three hours my boy!" Alastor laughed, leading Dawg through the lobby into what appeared to be a commons area. "But never fear! For here our mission is clear! We want to reunite you with everyone you hold dear!"
"Nice alliteration." Mad Dawg remarked. So far, this guy seemed to have a friendly demeanour, and he honestly seemed decent… by the standards of where Dawg found himself mind you, but semantics. But there was also something in Dawg's mind screaming for him to run, that the figure before him would quickly become his worst nightmare.
Mad Dawg didn't leave though.
He was kind of stupid that way.
"Why thank you." The demon gave a comically wide smile, and Mad Dawg noticed his teeth seemed like an old radio. "I don't believe we've exchanged formalities, how rude of me! My name is Alastor, and who might you be my fine furry friend?"
"I'm Mad Dawg." Mad Dawg answered, shaking Alastor's hand. For about a tenth of a second Mad Dawg felt like he was frozen in terror, but it quickly passed.
"Peculiar name."
"Yeah, it's a long story…" Mad Dawg sighed.
"Well, the way I see it, you'll have an eternity to tell it!" Mad Dawg looked at Alastor, opened his mouth to say something, then laughed.
"I'm mad I didn't think of that first." He admitted.
"Oh, don't worry! I've had decades over you to perfect my performance, and now it finally feels like things are going to get rather interesting again! Tell me my canine chap, what brings you to our fine establishment?"
"Uh, well… honestly, I'm just looking for a place to stay." Mad Dawg admitted with a shrug. "I've been to like, seven or eight other hotels, and they're just… no."
"Ah yes, they lack the quality and charm you can only find here!" Alastor continued with his extreme theatrical style. Normally, this would probably annoy Dawg, but dang it, there was something intoxicating about him…
"And the clean sheets, I hope…"
"Well, I believe it's our fearless leader you'll want to speak with next! You just make yourself comfortable, and I'll send her your way." Alastor remarked, walking off and leaving Dawg alone until the spider re-appeared not long after.
"He always this friendly?" Mad Dawg asked.
"Yup."
"Cool."
Taking a seat, Mad Dawg fidgeted awkwardly in the chair, unsure as to what he should say or do now… the spider looked over to him and it seemed like he wanted to say more, but for now was keeping quiet. He looked around, seeing a winged cat in a top hat standing behind a bar. An attempt to talk was made, but was not returned. After what felt like hours, the sounds of heels clicking on the floor became audible as a woman entered the room. She looked around and seemed surprised when she saw Dawg. Mad Dawg looked timidly over to the woman with ash-gray skin and one eye with a red 'X' over the other.
"Hey, you the new guy?" She asked in a sort of greeting.
"Yeah, I'm Mad Dawg." Mad Dawg nodded. The woman blinked and seemed taken aback by his name.
"Right… My name's Vaggie." She paused, as if expecting some sort of reaction from Mad Dawg. It was true he wanted to laugh, he knew his name wasn't exactly normal either, so hey. Weird name buddies?
"Okay. Uh, is that short for something? Or is there a way I need to pronounce it?" Mad Dawg asked, somewhat awkwardly.
"No." The woman shook her head. The room was left in another awkward silence, as if Mad Dawg was supposed to know something about where he was or who he was talking to. The issue with that being… he didn't.
"So, I'm new here. I got here about five days ago… and uh… I was wondering if I could get a room or something?"
"Five days to the city, or five days to hell?" Someone asked.
"The latter. I just died, and kinda just realized I died… I have no idea where I am, I have no idea what's going on…is there like, orientation? Or some sort of introductory video?"
"So, you're new to the whole 'Being Dead' thing?" He said with a wide grin.
"Yup."
"Well… there isn't a video per say…" Angel Dust grinned. Without warning, a marching song began playing. Angel Dust slicked his hair back and grinned, flashing a gold tooth at Mad Dawg, then pulled a whistle out from somewhere and blew it.
"Ready? Okay!" Angel Dust exclaimed as music began playing. "Hi! I'll be your guide-"
"Where's the music coming from?" Mad Dawg asked, looking around in confusion. The winged cat had a look that said 'Just go with it. This is normal.' And Alastor seemed to be playing the music, but Dawg might've been going crazy.
"I'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side!" The spider-demon continued, holding up sighs with letters spelling 'Guide' on them. "Watch out for Exterminators-"
"Exterminators?" Mad Dawg asked confused.
"Did I say Exterminator? Never mind." Dust said, pushing Dawg forward.
"I'm the A-to-the-N-G-E-V-I-V-Z-I-E-And wow. I can't spell…"
"Hi! He'll be your guide!" Some voices shouted from somewhere. "He'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side!"
"Let's all get naked!" Angel Dust suddenly shouted, flashing Mad Dawg, and this confirmed one of Mad Dawg's questions. Drag Queen.
"No!" Vaggie snapped, angered.
"Uh… Okay?" Mad Dawg said, his eyes darting around nervously, only to be pulled away by Vaggie.
"Eh, worth a try." Angel Dust shrugged, before holding up signs again and spinning them to show different letters. "I'm the A-to-the-N-G-E-L to the D-U-S-And-T!"
"What is happening?" Mad Dawg laughed, seeming still completely confused.
"I understand it's a lot to process…" Angel Dust said matter-of-factly. "But! The good news is you and I got to meet. And son, you're a helluva beast." He said, running a finger up Dawg's fur-covered chest, which again made Dawg a bit uncomfortable. "That gives you clout. That means it's great for you to stick around, lucky for you I dropped by. Yeah, you seem like a nice guy. A little on the Mountain Dew Code Red and Lesbian Hentia Addict side."
"Hey that's… very…" Mad Dawg began but trailed off, looking away awkwardly.
"As for me, I've been down here for decades Dawg! I'm the ghost with the most. Ready to go wild hog!" Angel Dust continued with his random song that was admittedly, really catchy.
"No one here's got a bed time, everything's by a weird design. So just stick with me, I'm like a ghost-Spider Jesus!"
Striking the pose of a holy man, a light shone down from above, seemingly out of nowhere, as well as bells ringing and a chorus of voices singing:
"Ghost-Spider Jesus!"
"And I do it for the love of it. Money? Ah, who gives a shit. I think we're a perfect fit!"
"Come on, let's make out a bit!" Dust exclaimed, suddenly in Dawg's face. Mad Dawg grabbed the spider and kissed him like a cartoon character. This… hadn't been what Dust had been expecting, and his face was very clearly: 'Did that just happen?!'
Yeah!
Dead!
"It's the perfect day to die." The spider continued, leading Dawg through the lobby. "'Cause this guy happened to be passing by. To give you control of your soul, for the whole "being dead" thing!"
Without warning, Angel Dust was in a cheerleader outfit, performing a routine, which Dawg shrugged, grabbed some pom-poms and joined in for no reason other than: why not?
"The whole "being dead" thing!"
"Oh yeah!"
Angel finished the song by suddenly sitting on Dawg's lap, who looked around in complete bewilderment before finally breaking the silence.
"I can't lie. That was SMOOTH." He admitted with a grin. "But uh… why?"
"Honestly? I've been working on that for like, nine months now, and wanted to see if it'd work." Angel Dust answered honestly, putting one of his hands on Dawg's chest.
"I'd… I'd say it did." Mad Dawg nodded.
"Hey! I heard there's someone new here?! Is that true?! Also, did I miss a song or something!?" Another female voice suddenly broke into the room. "If so, where are they!? Do you think the place is ready for-"
Mad Dawg threw Dust to the floor just as another woman entered the room. Her blonde hair bouncing as she practically ran into the room. There was something almost… childish, about her, but also something that spoke volumes about her experience… that Dawg couldn't quite put his paw on. Her hyper speech cut itself off when she saw Mad Dawg, and she seemed to take a second to collect herself.
"Hi! My name's Charlie, Princess of hell!" Charlie introduced herself with a smile and energy that seemed almost criminally out of place.
"Uh, hey. I'm Mad Dawg." Mad Dawg nodded, smirking somewhat. "Also, yes. That is my real name. It's a long story."
"So… what brings you here?" She continued with her almost toxic happiness. Dawg couldn't tell if it was real or not, but it was clear she was excited about something.
"I've been living in a junkyard the past week. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing." Mad Dawg honestly answered. "So… like… I dunno. I guess I'm looking for a place to stay."
"Oh." She said, her face falling somewhat, but she quickly caught herself. "You… don't know about this place?"
"I'm like, eighty percent sure this is a brothel." Mad Dawg confessed, looking around. "Look, I don't wanna judge or accuse anyone of anything."
"She's an ex-prostitute and I'm a porn star." Angel Dust spoke up, cutting Mad Dawg off. "Yer not too far off…"
"…Oh." He said, blinking somewhat, then shook his head. "Uh… yeah… I'mma head out…"
"Wait!" Charlie exclaimed, almost panicking. Mad Dawg froze, his right hand unsheathing his claws pre-emptively preparing for a fight. However, when he looked over his shoulder, he saw Charlie's face was one of concern and almost desperation. Either she was a really good actress, or maybe she wasn't trying to chain him in a basement…?
"She's a demon." Mad Dawg thought. "If they're friendly, they'll stab you in the back later."
"This… this isn't a brothel, and I'm not some sort of kidnapping slave trader." She began, her tone shaky somewhat, it was clear she said this a lot and she hated saying what she was having to say. "This place is a place for redemption. Here at the Happy Hotel, I want to help demons, like you, be forgiven for what they've done and be sent to Heaven."
Mad Dawg's eyes were focused on Charlie's. There was something very recognizable about that look, it was the look of fear, fear of… either failure or disappointment. He couldn't tell which. Or maybe it was fear of letting Dawg escape…
"I don't know you." The Princess shook her head, her long blonde hair bouncing somewhat. "And I don't know what you've done, but I wanna help you if you're willing."
"Willing to do what?"
"Try and better yourself."
"So… you're telling me that this hotel is essentially demon rehab? And by doing good deeds you can leave hell?" Mad Dawg asked with a raised brow, but with a small hint of shock and hope. That sounded… ridiculous, like something out of a crowd-funded online cartoon.
"Well, yeah." Charlie replied, her energy picking up once again. "We've already had a number of demons be forgiven and ascend to heaven. It's not always easy or fun, but if you're willing to put in the work, I know we can change you!"
Charlie felt her heartbeat increase as Dawg's face didn't become one of skeptical laughter, but honest consideration. Vaggie however, could tell he was either going to politely decline, or laugh in her face. Actually, he'd do the first, then the second. However, neither demon (or any of the others in the room for that matter) expected what he said:
"What if I deserve to be here?" Mad Dawg asked with a serious tone, taking a sip from his whiskey. The whole room seemed to freeze when they heard his question, it seemed like someone had walked in naked, flipped everyone off, then broke into a twelve-act opera which he would complete without pause.
"Wh..what?" Charlie finally got out, seemingly absolutely mortified by the question, as if this was something she had never heard anyone say.
"What if I deserve to be in hell? Just talking hypothetically." Mad Dawg asked, somewhat quietly. "Then what?"
"Then get out there and have some fun!" Angel Dust shouted, earning an angered glance from Vaggie.
"True, there's that."
"Why would you say that?!" Charlie finally exclaimed. "You're just a… you look like you're just a kid!"
"Look, I'm not saying I deserve to be sentenced to hell, there's way worse people that should be down here! But even if I am 'just a kid', I'm here. And I've got a body count." Mad Dawg shrugged. "Look, I'm not saying I'm as bad as like, eighty-nine percent of the freaks and demons I've met down here, but I'm not exactly an angel either."
"So, you're saying you WANT to stay in hell?" Charlie asked, having a hard time believing what she was hearing, Mad Dawg went silent, scratching his chin for a bit, before he finally spoke again.
"Not really, if I could choose what happened to me, I'd go back to my home dimension and try to make amends with those I've hurt. Actually, come to think of it, I don't even know if I have a soul! But… Knowing what I am, and the things I've done… I'm not gonna claim God made some mistake sending me down here. I'm a bad… guy, I guess."
"But… Look. I don't know what you've been through, but no one wants to be in hell." Charlie frowned.
"I don't." Mad Dawg shook his head, laughing somewhat at the remark. "But I don't deserve to go to heaven either. I've hurt a lotta people, and maybe this is my eternal fate. It sucks, and I hate it, but I can't say that deep down I don't somewhat deserve it. Granted, the rest of me feels like I don't and will go on some wild road-trip to find the key to get out of here if need be, but I'm not feeling like I'm gonna be screaming for weeks that my Lord and Saviour has forsaken me."
The silence returned as everyone thought about what was just said. While Charlie was almost heartbroken, confusion was the main feeling everyone was having. Even Husk and Alastor, while the former didn't much care and the latter didn't show it, felt confused and somewhat intrigued as to what would make someone think such things.
"Come to think of it, I don't know if I was ever taught about religion…" Mad Dawg mused. "I guess Skorch ignored it due to the political climate and out of respect for other peoples' views and own faiths."
"But… you're… you're just a kid!" Charlie exclaimed again. The look of absolute terror in her eyes was weird. Dawg didn't know why someone (and a demon no less) would care about him believing that he needed to be in hell. There was something about the sadness and pain that reminded her of Lena… and Angela… Holy… Thinking about those names, something occurred to him that came flying in like a truck. How long had it been since his quest first began?!
"And I've done a lot of bad shit." Mad Dawg retorted. "Admittedly, like 96.9% of it was to stop bad people, and protect the innocent, so I don't feel bad about that. But yeah, innocent people..." He paused, then added: "It sucks, but it happened. I don't think that should go unpunished."
"Well, I can't tell if the young fellow is a nihilist, a realist, or simply insane! But I do have to say, he intrigues me!" Alastor remarked aloud. Mad Dawg looked back to 'Alastor' and got some very, VERY dangerous vibes off of him. But there was also something extremely charming about him at the same time, and Mad Dawg had a feeling this guy would be both his best friend, but would also murder him for a single corn chip. Or for nothing. Probably nothing.
"You really think so little of yourself?" Charlie asked, now seeming concerned for Dawg's well-being. "You think so poorly of yourself that you believe you deserve all this? I mean, you might… but I don't."
"What?"
"You don't seem like a bad guy, and I can tell there's something you want. Maybe it's to see your family, maybe it's to get food from a place you really like back on earth, but I can tell there's a better you in there, wanting to get out! And I want to help you!"
Mad Dawg didn't reply once more, his face now becoming more skeptical, the face Charlie had seen all too many times while trying to get this venture up and running.
"If this place is a hotel, can I get a room for the night? I'm tired of having to clean demon blood off of the ground so I can sleep." Mad Dawg said, switching gears suddenly.
"Oh, uh, yeah." Charlie nodded, seeming disappointed.
"Am I really going to trust a demon?" Mad Dawg thought. "Is it possible I could leave by being a good person? And if that's the case… could I finally go home? After everything I've done… the people I've hurt… No! Listen to me you furry bastard. The might be your once chance to see your family again! If it means playing nice, freakin'. DO IT."
"And… if you claim that this demon rehab works, I'll give it a shot." Mad Dawg nodded
"REALLY!?" Charlie exclaimed, her eyes sparkling cartoonishly.
"Yeah, if it means I can see my friends again, what's the harm in trying?" Mad Dawg nodded.
"OHMYGOSHTHANKYOUTHISISGONNABESOGREAT!" Charlie exclaimed, suddenly right up in his face. To most, they'd recoil in agitation, but Charlie reminded Dawg a lot of Lena, and he liked Lena, so he was used to this. "I mean… let me show you to your room."
"A'right." Dawg nodded, following after Charlie, the other hotel residents watching them leave.
"I give him a week, max." Husker remarked.
"Half that." Dust countered.
"Shut the hell up, you two." Vaggie snarled.
"What? Afraid the new guy's gonna steal your girl?" Dust laughed, "I mean, maybe Charl-" Dust immediately stopped when the spear was inches from his face. "Okay…"
Walking down a hallway, Charlie was talking about everyone in the hotel who Dawg had met this far, only a few of the words sticking with him. Mad Dawg looked down, noticing the combat boots he had stolen were tracking mud along the carpet.
"Uh… sorry about the mess." He remarked. Charlie stopped and looked down.
"Oh, don't worry. One of our workers will clean it up. Her name's Nifty, and she can be a little…"
"Hi Charlie! Who's making these tracks throughout the hotel? I just cleaned these last week, and I didn't think anyone here-" A new female voice spoke but suddenly cut herself off and gasping so loudly Mad Dawg believed dolphins were going to go deaf. Looking down, Mad Dawg saw a tiny cyclops holding a duster staring mouth agape at him.
"Uh… hi?" Mad Dawg slowly asked.
"Nnnoooooooopppeee!" The tiny cyclops exclaimed, moving way faster than Mad Dawg would've given her credit for. She was suddenly on his back, and seemed to be… cleaning him with a brush? "Nope! Uh-uh! Nonono!" Nifty seemed to be having a freak out as she moved so fast Mad Dawg couldn't see her as she appeared all around him, cleaning his fur and boots. While he wanted to exclaim, Mad Dawg was so bewildered all he could do was stand there and watch as the small cyclops cleaned him up. "We can't have this! No sirree!"
Mad Dawg watched the tiny cyclops rush off to do… something. Mad Dawg blinked, his brain still processing her machine-gun-speak, finally hearing the last word she had said.
"Sorry." Charlie said sheepishly. "Nifty can be a little… excitable."
"I like her." Mad Dawg remarked.
The room was painted with a mixture of dark blue, and medium dark blue. The small but lengthy bed had a thick gray blanket on it, which seemed to be asking to be slept under. Off to one side was a dresser, a desk and a door to a bathroom. To the right of his bed was a sizable window which looked out over hell.
"Wow…" Mad Dawg breathed. "This is great."
"Thanks! I hoped you would!" Charlie beamed, and Mad Dawg turned to her quizzically.
"You… weren't stalking me, were you? 'Cause that's like, some really sketchy crap."
"No, no… we just have rooms we hope people will like." Charlie replied. "When I met you a few minutes ago, I figured this'd be a good room for you."
Walking in, Mad Dawg sat down on the bed, sinking somewhat into the soft mattress. He smiled and sighed, feeling like tonight he might have a 'normal' sleep for the first time in his entire afterlife (Ha! He had been waiting to make that joke!). Just as she was about to leave, Mad Dawg asked one last question:
"How much do I owe you?"
"Excuse me?"
"The hotel room, the… food, I'm assuming, you 'redeeming' me, how much do I owe you?"
"Well, uh…" Charlie stammered, her eyes darting back and forth as she tried to think of an answer. "How about you test the room for a night, and see if you like it, and then we can discuss all that later?"
"Okay."
"Great! G'night!" Charlie exclaimed, then disappeared. The sudden action set Mad Dawg on edge, and he spent the next five minutes looking around for any sort of tricks, traps, or hidden recording devices. All he found was a small card on the desk.
Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!
No matter what you've done, no matter who you are, we believe you can change!
If you believe in us, we'll believe in you!
C.M.
Mad Dawg blinked, reading over the note, and he wasn't sure why he did, but he slipped it into his bag. He was tired now, and sleep seemed like a good idea. Crashing on his bed, he looked up at the ceiling, a crushing feeling coming down on his chest, like a ton of bricks was put on his ribs… and he didn't fight it this time. He just stared up at the ceiling, sighing quietly as his body felt like it was melting, and he slipped away into the darkness of sleep.
