Harleen Quinnzel was a horrible driver, hands down; and yet, she was always insistent that she wasn't. This was not a favorable combination, as you can imagine.

"Why d'ya think they call me Harley?" she'd joke to others. "Because it's your name," they'd reply, immediately before witnessing a three-car-and-one-motorcycle pile-up, from which Harley herself would walk away with only an unrelated papercut.

This exact scenario had been repeated so many times in the past that it was all Pam could think about as she was getting thrown around the backseat of Harley's car on her way to school.

At the moment, they were driving through a dumpster-filled back alley where they'd almost – no, definitely run over at least one homeless person.

Meanwhile, Selina was clinging desperately to the passenger's seat with her back arched forward.

"Y-you know, Harles," she started, a panic weakening her voice, "you... really could have let me take the wheel after you drove over to Pam's place!" She didn't mean to make 'drove' sound sarcastic - it just sort of happened, really. Not that Harley caught onto it.

"Aw, it's no big dee', Selina! I'm happy ta –!"

"LOOK OUT!"

Harley swerved, barely missing a stray cat. Pam rolled to the other side of the car and was almost certain she'd have to hurl soon, even if Harley's driving was too unpredictable to open a window.

"Whew! Boy, that was a close 'un, ain't it?"

"Not really," Selina could have said, but she knew it would have been in one ear and out the other. Instead, she chose to resigned to it... for now.

"So, uh, Harley... about this bank you want to rob: any specifics?"

"Nuttin' til we get the whole gang togethuh!"

"Right." She nodded. "Good plan..."

'...if we live that long,' she thought to add. But she didn't.

Selina tried to take her mind off Harley's driving by putting on the radio. Some Beatles song started playing, but that was all she really knew about it, and all she could hear past the constant screeching and swaying of car parts.

The clock on the dashboard read 7:25, and Selina had an almost sixth sense that they weren't getting to the school fast enough (in the right direction) to get to school in ten minutes.

"Uh, Harleen, darling? Maybe I should–"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

The sound of tires screeching and Harley's screaming bloody murder shook the car as Selina closed her eyes and braced for immediate impact.

That's when the car came to a sudden stop.

One second passed.

No air bags, no sound of a crash, no jerk of momentum that she could tell...

Two seconds passed.

...were her hairs standing on end? She could hardly feel anything anymore.

Three seconds passed.

Selina opened an eye to make sure she wasn't dead – she wasn't, thank God. Instead, they'd stopped in the middle of yet another dirty alley, a good few feet of space between them and the nearest wall with no other obstacles in sight.

'What the...?'

She heard Harley burst out into laughter; suddenly, things started to make a lot more sense.

"You shoulda seen the look on yaw faces! Priceless!"

Pam lunged to open the car door fast as she could and lurched forward. Goodbye, slice of ham.

"Aw, cheer up, Spammy, it's just a joke! Right, Selina?" Harley nudged her feline friend, but she didn't respond at all; she was just staring straight ahead, gaze wide, pupils thin, and with just a slight twitch of the eyelid.

"Uhh, Selina? Awe yuh in there?"


It was a few more minutes before Selina and Pam got back into the car, but at least they had everything ready to go. And they finally got the chance to buckle themselves in, which was a plus.

"Alright," Selina called out as she slid into the driver's seat, "everyone okay back there? Pamela?"

Pam held a thumbs-up. "All set."

"Good! Harleen?"

Harley muffled something through the gag in her mouth as she squirmed beneath the layers of rope restraining her beneath Pam's feet. It was unintelligible, but it showed she was still breathing.

"Gr-r-r-eat!"

And with that, Selina shifted the car into gear and they were off.

Pam pushed the heel of her unwashed sneaker into Harley's cheek, pressing the other side of her face into the crusty lower back of the driver's seat. The blonde grunted in discomfort, her emissions still muffled by the gag parting her lips, and all the while Pam was looking down on her and chuckling with sadistic glee.

"Aw, don't worry, Harley, it's just a little joke..."

It was smooth sailing from thereon out.


Doris felt her heartbeat in her chest as she jogged down the sidewalk to school, headphones in her ears tuned to a random radio station. Whatever song was on at the moment, she didn't really understand the lyrics, but she liked the sound of it, and the beat was pretty good, too. Like her heart at that moment, it was going hard and fast, but steady - already, her little wake-up incident from this morning was starting to seem like just a bad dream.

Plus, with the cool morning mist in her face and a warm, healthy sweat brewing over her burning calves, there was a sort of Zen feeling to what she was doing, as if she was in her natural state. Left, right, left, right, in, out, in, out...

It was almost a shame when she finally reached the outer steps of the school.

At least it gave her a chance to meet up with friends. She saw Carol sitting at the top of the steps – their usual meeting place during mornings – mopily staring down at her phone.

"Hey, Carol," Doris called out as she reached the top of the marble stairs. "How's tricks?" Carol turned her head and her expression suddenly changed to one of exasperation.

"Oh. My. God. You will not believe what happened to me, yesterday..."

Doris groaned and threw her head up for a moment. "Hal again?" The groan was meant for Carol, but she didn't have to know that.

"YES! And, I swear to God, it's all that bitch Jessica's fault! She's the one who's always..."

It was around this point of the conversation Doris always tuned her out. Jessica. Just her being associated with Carol made her want to punch that grass-munching hippie right in her face. But then, that wasn't her sphere of influence, it was Carol's. Actually, she was pretty sure she heard about her from Pam, too – made her sound like a real creep. Now, maybe if she started bothering Leslie...

"...thinks she's sooo attractive, and it's something to do with those hips, I swear! Or maybe her height? Is he into Hispanics? Ugh, whatever it is, she always–!"

"Doris! Carol! Good morning!"

Like a guardian angel, Doris saw Selina waving at them from the bottom of the steps with Pam and Harley trailing closely behind.

"Sorry we're a bit late. We were, uh, tied up with a little car trouble."

Harley crossed her arms and pouted off to one side. Why Harley would be upset, of all people, Doris couldn't wrap her head around.

Selina continued, "I take it your commute here was more pleasant?"

"I stepped on a dog on the way over here," Doris said with a smile.

"That's my girl!" cheered Selina.

Doris looked around to see their sixth member was nowhere in sight. "Uh, where's Leslie?"

Selina shrugged. "Oh, heck if we know. She's always late, isn't she?"

"I mean, not always..."

"Whatever the case, she'll be here eventually."

Carol stepped out from beside Doris to meet the others halfway, holding up her phone shakily. "Oh my god, you guys – you will not fucking believe what Hal-y-Wal-y did to me this time!"

Everyone but Doris threw their heads up and groaned. They were in for it now, and they knew it.

Except Harley. Harley just just traded in her pout for a devilish smile and leaned in. "Do tell," she cooed.

"Well, yesterday, he–"

"Heyooooo!" a voice cried out from around the corner of the staircase.

Doris's face brightened up as its source came into view. "Leslie!"

"What's up, nerds! Slept in, a bit. Hope you guys didn't miss me too much."

"Right!" Selina put her hands together. "Now that we're all together..."

Carol crossed her arms and scoffed. 'Well, fine, if nobody cares about me...'

"...we can discuss details! Harley: what's your plan for tonight?"

"Hm? Oh, I was jus' thinkin' we could rob Metropolis National Bank, like we did befoah."

"Yeah, alright," said Doris.

"Fine by me," Carol said, still feeling dejected.

Leslie pumped her fist into the air. "Leh's do it!"

"Yeah, absolutely not," said Selina.

"Wait, what!?"

"First rule of being a criminal: if you're gonna get caught, never pull the same job in the same place twice. People learn their lessons: they double down on security, make safer measure, take less risks – it's like picking at a scab where there's already a band-aid."

"Ew, gross!" squealed Carol.

"Deal with it. This is serious business."

"Since when?" asked Harley.

"Look: the point is, if we're going to hit a bank, it needs to be a different bank, or else we can't just smash our way in there like last time. They probably reinforced the walls by now, especially in a place like Metropolis."

"Oh." Even standing straight up, Harley seemed to deflate. "Well, how we gunna–?"

The bell rang. School was in.

"Shit," hissed Leslie.

Doris huffed and shrugged. "Time to go," she sighed.

Even Carol had already walked up to the front door, with Pam close behind her.

Harley called out to them, "wait! W-we still gotta figyuh this out, don't we!?"

Selina patted her on the shoulder. "Sorry, Harles, time's up for now. We'll be sure to talk during lunch, though, right?"

But before Harley could reply, Selina had slunk with the others and the growing crowd around them into the grand halls of Metropolis High, leaving Harley all by herself to be pushed around by impatient students trying to get to class.

"B-but I... I gotta get this done... before Thursday..."