This was stupid. He's gonna see her and he's going to be pissed. He's gonna make that face and tell her he's too busy. That's why she didn't even tell him she was flying in.

Derek had given her the address to his apartment in case of any emergency and he'd casually mentioned where he left a spare key in one of their phone calls. But when she talked to him last night, he seemed irritated. Then again it was almost 3 am in DC and midnight in Seattle.

Now she was standing in his apartment. His one-bedroom apartment with hardly any furniture. It was sad, really. But knowing him, he'd probably dug into the work and didn't bother with anything. At least he had a bed and bedstand.

She dropped her suitcase in the room and walked over to the kitchen. By all means, it was a nice apartment. The long hallway led to an open kitchen. There wasn't a breakfast bar like in their home and no long dining room table fit for a family. It was a small kitchen with the necessary appliances, a few dishes, brown wood cabinets, and a small table stacked with paperwork.

She opened a cabinet, grabbed the one glass in there, and poured herself a drink from the bottle of scotch on the counter.

The clock on the wall stared at her. 5 pm.

She wasn't even sure when he'd get home. Home? It felt odd to call this apartment home. Because it wasn't home. She threw back what was left of her drink and took out her phone.

Thanks again. Landed safely. Kids okay?

She clicked send and stared at the phone for a few minutes. Maggie replied with a simple photo. Zola had a mini apron and was smiling at the camera as she held a large spoon in her hand. They were baking just like Maggie promised. Another picture arrived. This time, it was Bailey on his high chair eating goldfish.

She smiled as she looked back on the counter for a plug. Nothing. He walked back into the bedroom and saw a charger on his bedside table. She plugged in her phone and sat on the bed.

Their room back home was full of details that encompassed their relationship. Tumor on the wall, pictures of Zola and Bailey, a picture of themselves, and their post-it. This room had nothing but a clock, a bed, a book, a few medical journals, and his clothes. That was it.

A shower. She needed a shower and now. She came here for him and she had a suitcase full of lingerie that she picked out knowing what he liked.

Black he once told her, I like the black ones.


This was useless. This project, his job, no matter how important it was, it was useless.

He hadn't been able to focus on anything in the lab and Meredith wasn't picking up the phone. So he called it a day.

He stopped at the door of the apartment. Something was wrong. Maybe not wrong, but something was different. He opened the door and surveyed the area, the bathroom door was open. Small droplets told him someone had showered. He stepped out and walked down to the kitchen. Someone had opened the scotch and left the glass on the counter.

He opened the bedroom door only to find her in the bedroom wearing the old Bowdin shirt he had left on the bed this morning.

Her hair was damp, and it still smelled like lavender.

And she was there. In the apartment. Waiting for him.

This was real.

"I needed to-," she whispered, "I wanted to see you."

She had flown two thousand three hundred twenty-eight miles to see him. Because she wanted to see him.

Meredith Grey was standing in his D.C. apartment because she wanted to see him.

God, she could kill him then and there.

The suitcase in his hand fell to the floor as his hands reached her face. His lips crashed onto hers and suddenly it became a battle for dominance.


This wasn't supposed to go like this. He was supposed to find her in sexy lingerie and she'd say something snarky. He wasn't supposed to find her brushing her hair and wearing his old Bowdin shirt because she'd forgotten a robe.

But none of it mattered now because his lips were on hers and his hands pulled off the shirt. His hands reached the back of her thighs and he lifted her up until her legs were around his waist. He walked towards the bed and laid her on her back until he hovered over.

Derek pulled away and looked into her green eyes. She was here. She was real. And she was so, so, welcoming. He kissed her jaw leaving her panting as she grabbed at his hair.

She felt his lips trail his neck then her chest. He kissed the top of her breasts and his tongue swirled around it.

As his lips traveled lower her moans echoed throughout the room, urging him to continue his path. His tongue reached her most sensitive area and her back arched. Her moan encouraged his exploring.

He pushed her higher, higher, and higher until she couldn't hold on any longer. And she finally let go, forgetting the gaping wound in their marriage.


The pitter-patter of raindrops on the window was the only sound in the quiet room. It was good. The sex was good. He unraveled her twice before succumbing to his own pleasure, reminding her that the sexual tension and need were still there.

And yet, they were still miles apart. Even while lying next to each other.

Derek laid on his back with one hand draped over his stomach. The back of his other hand rubbed his temples as he stared up at the ceiling.

"You have that look again."

"What look?" Derek turned to look at her, surprised at her comment. They had been lying in silence after letting their touches and kisses do all the talking. Their moans and sounds of pleasure pierced through their ears. But now the silence was still in the air.

Meredith propped her head on her hand, "The one that hurts the ego after sex."

"No, I'm not-" his defenses were up and he only let them down when he noticed she put hers up as well, "Meredith I'm not mad at you"

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Derek, I know you," Meredith shook her head, "Tell me what's wrong.

Meredith watched as he rubbed his temple with the back of his thumb. He could tell her the truth or he could continue with whatever passive-aggressive attitude he had and then fight. This is what she feared. It's exactly why she had hesitated in the airport and possibly the sign that she in fact should not have come.

"I'm mad at myself," Derek sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, "Mer, you flew thousands of miles so we could- I should be in Seattle. I shouldn't be here.

"You wanted to do the project," Meredith reminded him, "You were stomping on everyone-"

"Meredith-"

"You were selfish with Amelia, you pushed her away, she's your sister Derek and you-"

"That's pretty rich considering you didn't tell me about Maggie."

"You think I wanted to tell you while you were walking around like a martyr?"

"Mer-" He scoffed as he briefly closed his eyes and took a breath, "Meredith, I don't want to fight."

"I don't want to fight either, but you wanted to do this," Meredith whispered.

A beat of silence passed before he spoke again. This time his voice softened as if he was confessing something he shouldn't.

"I thought I wanted it," he turned to gaze at her, his defenses disarmed, letting her in, "You know this is the first time I leave before 8. That's why this place is so empty."

When he first took her to the trailer, it seemed like his trailer had nothing. Just some clothes, kitchen utensils, and his fishing gear. But now looking at the emptiness of this apartment, she realized that even the trailer seemed more like home. This was just a place with the minimum requirements to live in.

"I come home to nothing. No one. I'm watching the kids grow up on a computer," he stared back at the ceiling, "I'm miserable."

Sometimes Derek was a mystery. He was a man with layers and layers of a complicated past and a constant battle between doing the right thing and doing what he wanted. Sometimes even he didn't even know what he wanted. Sometimes what he wanted, what he truly wanted, terrified him.

She knew that early on. It's what she loved about him. And what she hated.

But this decision, leaving to D.C. and putting his ego first was his decision alone. He made it bitterly and the smug face when he made it was something etched in her brain.

She leaned in to kiss him. Slowly. Gently. Reminding him that she was his. And he was hers. That after all this time, she still wanted him. And they could press pause.

She darted her tongue as he let her in, tasting him, wanting him. She grazed the hairs on his chest and let her hand wander down to grip him. He moaned deeply and ran his hand through her hair.

His eyes were still closed when she pulled back. He was sent back to an abyss of bliss as she straddled him and ran her hands across his abdomen, his hands running up her thighs. She teased him, running one hand up and down his member.

She shivered as she guided him in, feeling complete. She froze as she looked down into his eyes filled with pleasure, "So come home."

He looked up at her with hazy eyes as she began to roll her hips.

A deep moan escaped his lips as his hands gripped her hips, helping her find a rhythm and pressing his thumbs against her. The palms of her hands rested on his abdomen as she moved above him.

The sounds of their moans of pleasure filled the room.

Another band-aid covering a gaping wound.


He was propped on his side as Meredith laid on her back with one leg bent. He let his free hand travel up and down her leg, tracing small patterns and keeping a glimpse of their arousal in the air.

They gazed into each other's eyes as the light from the moon pierced through the room.

"We need to fix this," she broke the silence.

Sex could only do so much. It could numb the anger, subdue the sadness, and bury the frustration. But the problem was still there. The band-aid would fall eventually and if not healed properly, the would infect.

"What do you want me to do?" whispered Derek. There was no malice in his voice. No anger, it was genuine curiosity as if she had all the answers to the questions he's always had.

"It's not just about what I want, Derek," she answered, "You have to decide-"

"I did decide Meredith," he cut her off, "I told you that I was staying and that you and the kids were more important-"

"At what cost, Derek?" She lifted herself off the mattress while covering herself with the comforter and leaned against the frame of the bed, "You constantly reminding me that you declined the opportunity of a lifetime or you pushing me and Amy away?"

"You pushed me away," he countered, "That day at the bar. You were with Alex and instead of talking it out you left the table and left me alone."

"Well, what did you expect?" she scoffed, "You expected me to say thank you for your sacrifice?"

"I didn't want you to do that," he sat up to meet her eyes, "I wanted you to back me up. To tell me that staying was the right thing to do and instead, you pushed me away."

Meredith scoffed and looked away, "Derek, you didn't decline the job for me or the kids."

"What?"

"You did it to clear your conscience," she muttered, "to fulfill the constant need to do the right thing and be the good guy."

He shook his head, "That's not-"

"You did it when you chose Addison," she looked at him and raised a brow, "you always do it without thinking about how it affects everyone around you."

He saw the world in black in white. She saw all the gray in between.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he whispered, "I wanted to-"

"I know," she answered, "I know you want to do the right thing- what you thought was the right thing. And I know it's tearing you apart"

He stared at her. She knew him so well. She knew when he needed to be left alone. When he couldn't be brought back from the darkness. And she knew when he couldn't be left alone.

And now, it seemed that she understood what all his baggage caused him. An internal battle between the right thing and what he wanted. A cloud of chaos filled with an absolute need to be more. And if he let himself be consumed by it, it would never be enough.

"But this wasn't the right thing," Meredith whispered with glass eyes, "you walked away. You ran."

He ran. Things got hard and he always ran. And he hadn't turned back yet.

He broke a vow.

"I broke a vow," he whispered understanding the severity of his actions, "I left you alone."

She didn't answer. She didn't need to.

"I shouldn't have run."

She looked down and reached for his hand.

He leaned in for a moment and pulled back, hesitating. He looked into her eyes, asking for permission to invade her space. To try to put together what he broke.

And she leaned in and let his lips crash into hers.

Finally stitching the wound.


This was her favorite part. The after, when the world stopped.

Where she was wrapped up in him and his lips were on the back of her neck and trailed her back. When his hand traced the contours of her body. When nothing else mattered and it was just them.

"I miss you," he whispered as he enveloped his arms tighter, "Stay another day."

"I can't, it's a miracle I pulled this off," she whispered back. She looked towards the window where the beams of light shined through, reminding her that her time here was almost up.

He pressed a kiss on her shoulder, "Miss your flight. It happens all the time."

"I need to go back to work," she chuckled, "I have a surgery I need to get back to."

"Just a few more hours, please." he pleaded as he wrapped his arms tighter.

She rolled on her back and cupped his face, "I can't. Our kids need at least one of us home."

He nodded solemnly as he remembered the kids left behind in Seattle. They were probably sleeping now. He meant to call them when he arrived at the apartment just like he had over and over again.

"You know I bring the kids to bed with me so we can sleep together," she whispered before laughing, "That pillow has been empty for such a long time."

"I'm coming home, Mer," he whispered, "I'm resigning first thing tomorrow."

"Derek you can't just-"

"Yes, I can."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Derek-"

He shook his head, determination set in his eyes, "I'm calling post-it. Zola and Bailey. And tumors on the walls. And ferry boat scrub caps."

The sheets shuffled as Meredith adjusted herself. She tangled her legs with his, her ears hanging on to every word he said.

"I thought D.C. was everything," he continued. "And I was wrong. You. You're everything. I love you. And I'm not gonna stop loving you. Meredith, I can't live without you. I don't want to live without you. And I'm gonna do everything in my power to prove it."

This was his plea. The moment where he begged her to let him choose her. Because he wanted to choose her. Because he was picking her. His choice was made.

Meredith thought about the months that led them to this.

"I can live without you," she whispered.

Confusion filled his eyes as she cupped his face. But she was right. She could do it. She'd been taking care of the kids and thriving at Grey-Sloan. She could live without him.

"But I don't want to," her voice unfaltering, "I don't ever want to."

He let out a breath of relief as she smiled.

The sutures would stay. The wound would heal.


Derek poured coffee into two mugs as he heard shuffling in the room, "Coffee's ready!"

Meredith's shoes clicked loudly as she waltzed into the kitchen. A familiar routine in an unfamiliar kitchen settled between them. She embraced his waist from behind and peppered kisses on his back before taking the mug in her hands.

"Thank you," she took a sip and sighed, "I'm gonna sleep throughout that entire flight I can just feel it."

He chuckled as he leaned in to peck her cheek, "You grabbed all your stuff."

"I am very capable of packing my own suitcase, Dr. Shepherd," she retorted.

"Uh-huh, says the doctor who forgets to pack her toothbrush so I have to pack an extra one or sneak one in," he countered as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I did not forget the toothbrush this time!"

He kissed her quickly as he let out a laugh, "I've finally taught her well!"

They kissed deeply before a honk interrupted them.

Meredith sighed, "The car is here."

"You sure you don't want me to see you off?" he let her go so she could take a final sip of her coffee before she picked up her phone from the counter.

"No, you need to go to the lab-"

"They can wait," he replied. He followed her and grabbed her suitcase. He silently wished that she'd turn around and say she'd stay. That they could just hide in this little bubble they'd created.

But she was right. The kids needed her home. And soon he'd be right by their side, right where he belonged.

As they made their way to the car, the driver took the suitcase. She turned and took a deep breath, suddenly pulling back from what she was about to say.

His eyebrows furrowed, "What?"

"Giving up this job is not a small thing," she reminded him, "are you sure this is what you want to do?"

Derek stuffed his hands in his pocket, "You don't want me to come home?"

"No, I do! I just-" her breath became unsteady, "I just want you to be sure."

He nodded, "It's time."

"Okay," she whispered. She leaned in to kiss him deeply and wrapped her arms around him.

He enveloped her and pulled back to throw a smile at her, "I'll be home before you know it."

"I know," she kissed him again, "I'll call you tonight."

"Give the kids a kiss for me," he pressed a final kiss on her lips and let her go.

She nodded and opened the door. As she closed it, she saw the smile plastered on his face.

He was certain of his decision. She could feel it.


The elevator dinged as the doors opened. Meredith stepped into it and leaned on the farthest wall.

The day had been exhausting. Between the flight and Bailey and Ben, she just wanted to make it home and lay in bed with the kids.

She closed her eyes briefly until her phone rattled her from her silent moment. She pulled it from her bag and smiled at the photo indicating who was calling her.

Meredith pressed the phone to her ear, "Hello?"

"What are you wearing?"

Meredith laughed as the elevator doors opened, "You can't ask me that while I'm on my way to pick up your kids from daycare!"

She could practically hear the smugness in his voice and imagine the look -their look- in his eyes.

"In my defense, I didn't know, and by the way," Derek lowered his voice before continuing, "there's a pair of black lacy panties that you seem to have misplaced."

"Mmm, you're gonna have to make sure they get to me personally and not end up on a bulletin board."

Long gone were the days of sneaking around in exam rooms, but this trip had been just as memorable. And just as important. A crucial step in healing.

She could hear as Derek opened a door, "And I seem to be missing my Bowdin shirt?"

It's in my suitcase, she thought. It was late in D.C. and he was probably just coming home from the lab. He was most likely going to eat something, shower, read a journal, and wait to call the kids.

She shook away the image of her husband as she remembered his last comment. The shirt, "Oops."

Derek laughed, "I turned in my resignation papers, Mer."

Meredith took a deep breath as she heard him say what she wanted to hear.

"It's done."

"Derek, are you sure you doing the right thing?" a small glimmer of doubt peeked from behind the veil of confidence. Suddenly she was scared of any hint of resentment he might've held.

Derek sighed, "I am. Everything is in Seattle."

She leaned on the wall and peaked in through the window of the daycare. She could see Zola playing with Sofia. She scanned the room until they landed on Bailey, playing on the carpet with some toy cars.

"Mer?" Derek's voice brought her back from her trance.

"I'm here, I'm just," she whispered, "I can't wait for you to come home."

"Me either," she could hear the smile in his voice, "Call me when you're home. I want to ask Zo what she wants from D.C."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. She hung up the phone and pushed herself off the wall. She walked into the daycare and called out for Zola and then Bailey.

Derek was coming home. He would be back to her and their kids. They would be together again.

Maybe they would take some time off together with the kids. Maybe they'd go to therapy. A lot of maybe's were still in the air. And she didn't have all the answers.

The wound had closed. The scar would remain.

And for now, they could move forward. Together.


A/N: Thank you for all the kind reviews on my one-shot collection!

The idea of Meredith going to D.C. was in my mind heavily. This is what came out of it. Thanks for reading!