20

"Well… we could not hold it off forever" Jack said as he watched Ianto pace the large room that was to be Master. Master and ensuite this week.

"I know… I am getting more used to lengths away form them and they are more settled now… I do get it. Who would have thought…Gwen was so motherly" Ianto snorted as Gwen had stared going around with Rhys to help care for the twins and although she still seemed to annoy Toshiko…. Rhys was a lovely man and a firm favorite with D.J.

Nate loved Owen to bits.

"So… what will be the hero here? The Bed? Or the back wall?" Jack asked, swinging to ask "Mirrored ceiling? Come on… just this once?"

"Cariad... whoever started that crap in the movies clearly never tried it. Who wants to see themselves pulling silly faces and at odd angles. For Godsake… it's like having sex in the shower… yes… I know you like it but we have that shelf I can sit on to… oh for Godsake. We are both on a hot-mic again" Ianto groaned as he stopped talking about their 'water play' and Jack roared with mirth.

"Come on Tiger… I think the viewers know by now that I would take you any way I can have you" Jack choked out with glee as Ianto went bright red. "I love you Ianto… I love the bones of ya!"

.

.

"No. It's too big." Ianto said firmly "so bloody American."

"I AM American" Jack argued as he sprawled on the king sized bed in the showroom, not caring that everyone was watching his decadent display of sexuality "I want it."

"I want that smaller one there… the queen."

"Just because we are both queens darling…." Jack camped "… doesn't mean we have to invite more!"

"NO!"

.

.

Day three and the clean crisp lines of the room were taking shape, the bathroom as white and crisp as well. Everyone was making deals on what the painting would reveal the them to be, everything so stark as the undercoat for whatever masterpiece awaited it's creation on the last night before the final day.

Ianto was kneeling on the tiles in the bathroom helping the plumber fit-off the hot water to the bathtub when Jack roared with anger and stormed in "Our bed … our bed arrived this morning but I can't find it. Looked everywhere… finally got them to send me a copy of the signature from whoever signed it into the lot. Carl. Fucking bastard has our bed!"

Ianto leaned back "Well…. Go on then, what are you waiting for? I am covered in plumbing glue…. Sic him!"

Jack swing from the room and the others rose to follow with glee as Ianto went back to measuring the dip in the floor for angle.

.

.

"Carl! You seem to have my bed" Jack said loudly as he stomped into the bedroom and froze with horror. Said bed was already being painted a deep shade of blue.

"Nope… this is mine" Carl said without looking up from his task.

"No… the double bed outside leaning against your house in the rain… that's yours. Has your name on it and everything. When you signed for it they unloaded MY bed too… the queen. You have my bed." Jack was trying to be calm as he watched with horror, knowing there was no way to salvage that bed now.

"I don't know what you are talking about" Carl said airily and Jack walked over to the rubbish pile in the corner of the room, rummaging through it to pull out plastic and unfold it to revel the mattress cover with his name on it. He showed the camera then dropped it.

"OK Carl… if you want it this way. Game on motherfucker!"

.

.

"Un huh" Ianto grunted at Jack as he helped move the huge bath into position then on a count of three they… dropped it. "Fingers and toes?"

"All good" everyone called back as they stepped back to look at the monstrous bath now sunk in the floor.

"Seriously… I am fucked off!" Jack hissed then said loudly "It really upset me Tiger."

Ianto sighed softly "And they said there is no way to get another in time?"

"No."

Ianto closed his eyes and let his head fall back like he was counting in his head… probably was… "OK… call the store and ask in your sexy voice for the showroom floor model you were gyrating on… if they falter… tell them it better be here in the next three hours or I get medieval on them."

"My king?" Jack asked with glee.

"What the hell" Ianto shrugged "Will need more bloody pillows now… oh god… even the sheets… oh damn it… I will have to do a little shopping thing."

Ianto felt an evil smile crossing his face as he rose to make a few calls and ensure all the bedding they had for the queen could be returned still pristinely in its packaging and swapped out with a little extra cash for kings.

Meanwhile the poor double bed against the house in the rain sank with the weight of water a bit more..

..

.

"Hey Helen" Ianto said as he stirred his coffee, winkling at Harry who was getting an order for his crew. Harry did a double take at the gesture and stopped packing his order to watch something clearly going down.

"Ianto, do you know a good place to get some linen at the last moment?" she asked with alarm "Apparently all the stuff I got for our bed doesn't fit."

Ianto stopped stirring and turned to stir a different pot altogether "Oh no. That's a shame… how would you afford it anyway. Carl maxed out your credit at ALL the stores for that room."

"W….what?" she spluttered.

"Yeah… you know… mirrored ceilings are soooo expensive… the roof had to be reinforced for the extra weight and stuff… god… next thing you know he will have a sex swing in the corner. Sorry love, it was so hard to get queen stuff for my bad… just sent it all back since you stole it. Sorry, can't help" Ianto laughed as he picked up his coffee to drink and she took off with open horror to find out if she could not swap their linens.

"She would be able to fudge it even if she didn't get a bottom sheet. If the bed is just made for judging it would not show if she short sheeted, the one sheet folded and tucked in then fondled again like it's the top one … folded over so it is the only one they would see. Some clever fiddling could see the one sheet as both."

"I know that Harry me old chum… clearly she doesn't" Ianto winked. "It's all a game ya know."

Harry laughed softly "you know… you are a blast."

.

The last night of work and Ianto was painting again… this time it was going to be as unusual as the rest of the house was becoming. Ianto had gone for a night sky on the ceiling. One with moody clouds and a touch of silver here and there… the midnight blue of a sky that held some moonlight. The only real thing that stood out was the shooting star that was created via an elaborate lighting array. It was quite sweet really.

Lying in the huge bed looking up, you were in a field looking up at the stars with your lover as rainclouds gather in the distance, the rainy dark walls half-way down before the wood paneling for the bottom half…. Everything let your eyes stray up there. The walls were pretty in the daylight, a silver pinstripe that in the dark disappeared, letting the ceiling be the hero.

The moment Harry entered to ask for help with something he was transfixed, gaping as he stared at the perfectly amazing sky. Jack looked up from the drawer he was sliding home in the charcoal stained wood dresser that had a thick wood grain to it "you OK there Harry?"

"Ah… wanted to know… wow."

"Think that's wow, go see the manly bastard working in the ensuite. Go look…it is soooo cool" Jack gushed and Harry ventured in to freeze again, this time letting out a soft chuff of delight.

The sunken bath was huge… a fucking hot tub. The water feature it was being made into complete with a rock garden to hide the taps was currently being planted with real flowering plants. The walls painted like it was a garden scene. Mid afternoon, flowers blooming, bushes gleaming like there had been a summer shower earlier and you could almost hear a bee buzzing. Ianto was currently creating grass around the edge of the room... really... on the flooring tiles... grass and a little flower popping out here and there "Wow"

Ianto looked up. "Hey Harry. As close to skinny dipping as I would ever go… here. Come help me up. I am too tired."

"I came you ask a favor… god" Harry sighed haply "You've got it in the bag. Sorry… ah… painting and I knocked the corner of one of the cupboards, do you have any putty?"

"I will come look, it might need a filler... I need this to dry before I add the rain droplets" Ianto went to wash up and Harry turned to see little diamantes sitting on a saucer.

Oh for crying out loud.

Bling?

He looked up and started to laugh as he saw bling for real now, the chandelier was awesome too.

Why not.

these two were crazy.

As foxes.