Reminder:
"This is spoken English."
"This is spoken Czech."
This is a thought.

Previously: Everything seemed so reasonable at the time (last chapter)… Really, there's a lot to explain, but suffice it to say… we're in the middle of a meltdown (since the events of approximately chapter 91).


Chapter 93. Mistakes.

Radek carefully set the crystal aside on the tray, testing the next with the Ancient multimeter. "Come on," he mumbled to the panel. "Give me… give me three. At most." Registering at just over 3.2, resistance in this wall impeded energy flow to the surrounding sections for reasons unknown. He slammed his hand on the wall next to the panel when it did not comply.

This was not enough energy to quibble over.

But what else was he supposed to do? Sulking over electrical resistance was better than the familial kind.

Anna hadn't meant to completely excise his heart like that. He had to believe that.

He thought he was beyond being hurt by these things. Atlantis was supposed to be the ultimate answer for this, for his life on Earth. If he was in another galaxy, he wouldn't think about them. Birthdays. Holidays. Graduations, promotions, life.

And death. The anniversary of Eliška's death was tomorrow and he wasn't going to be here for Anna. Again. No wonder she wanted to go to the mainland.

He slapped the control panel back into the wall and went to the next panel a short walk down.

This wasn't supposed to happen. But, then again, who thought that death was supposed to happen? Dying young, far too young, even when doing nothing dangerous. Radek was sure Eliška would have outlived him easily. She should have. Last year, when things got bad, he'd think that maybe someday word of his heroism, maybe even his death trying to save hundreds of people on this insane mission, would get back to them. Anna would remember him that way, instead of the person she never really knew.

But he hardly came here to die. He came here to live.

He got to do that. He really did. Atlantis was the best thing that ever happened to him, the best thing since… well, Anna. It all went downhill pretty quickly after Anna, though. Like Atlantis went downhill pretty quickly.

He paused in front of the panel cover. "It's not as if the Wraith are your fault," he mumbled.

But Anna probably hated him. She thought he had no idea what she was going through with Eliška's death, and she was right. She thought he didn't trust her—and, after all, he hadn't told her about Elizabeth. Not because he didn't trust her, or didn't want her to know, or… but how was she supposed to know that?

The Wraith might as well be his fault, too.

He shook those thoughts out of his head, pulling on the panel cover. It snapped off into his hand easily. He thread the needle between the panels and looked at the readout. Why was this conduit perfectly fine, and that one wasn't?

"Oh, it's you."

Radek sighed. "Not now, Rodney."

Rodney took a breath, looking around the way he did when he was confused or caught off-guard. On the other hand, Rodney was as good a distraction as any. "I'm not the one poking at insignificant wall panels in the middle of the night. You know, you've had a disturbingly religious worth ethic lately."

Radek set his jaw and checked the clock. He'd been working on this for longer than he should have been. Especially since he was going off-world tomorrow.

He'd be fine tomorrow. He'd survive, anyway. He'd get the job done. It would take him all day—or maybe even two days—whether he slept tonight or not.

"Find anything interesting?"

Radek glanced toward Rodney. If only he knew exactly what he'd "found" earlier tonight. He figured there was no harm in telling him. Everyone else in the city was apparently very acquainted with his personal life, so what difference did it really make anymore?

"Here? No. But earlier tonight, I stumbled across Anna and Iskaan kissing in the back of a Puddle Jumper so, yes. Interesting." That was a tame way of putting it.

Rodney looked about as stunned as Iskaan had when Radek walked in on them. "Huh."

Radek sighed and pulled back from his panel. He was never going to be able to fix it anyway.

Story of his life.

"Not that I'm concerned about the…" What was he saying? He couldn't articulate what he wasn't concerned about. He was too concerned about everything. The whole situation.

Radek waved his fingers in the air like he was trying to erase the memory in the Puddle Jumper, Anna's fingers lost in Iskaan's hair. The boy's arms around Anna, one hand at her shoulder and the other catching on the lower hem of her blouse—a legitimate nightmare.

"Right…" Rodney seemed utterly confused by the whole notion of Anna kissing someone. Radek had to admit to a similar feeling. "Well, it seems safer for her to have a crush on Ronon, now, doesn't it?"

Radek chuckled, though he didn't appreciate that, either. Why did he have to miss those carefree days when Anna was ten years old and boys were disgusting cretins? Why did he think he could jump straight into being a father to a sixteen-year-old girl?

He sighed and looked at the Ancient multimeter in his hand, showing it to Rodney. "You know, I could probably take this apart and put it back together—I could figure out a way to put an Asgard hyperdrive on a Puddle Jumper. I've built complex algorithms that the majority of humanity wouldn't understand, but I can't raise a sixteen-year-old girl."

Since he just shrugged, Radek guessed Rodney agreed. Or maybe not, since Radek doubted that even Rodney could make the Puddle Jumper be able to fly faster than light.

Rodney suddenly snapped his fingers a couple of times, then pointed at Radek. He looked like he'd just solved the problem of vacuum energy's exotic particles in native space-time. Or maybe FTL Puddle Jumpers.

"What if you took her with you?"

"Take her with me?" Radek repeated.

"Offworld."

The last time he suggested that, they were almost killed by a Wraith virus on a spaceship between two galaxies. Radek figured his expression must have said something similar.

"It's the safest planet we know of," Rodney pointed out. "Well, as soon as you get the shield up and running again."

That was true… And there was no Iskaan on that planet. Dozens of other boys her age, though. She wasn't that flighty. At least, he didn't think so. What did he know? "That isn't a bad idea."

Rodney pouted. "Give me a little more credit than that."

"All right. Good job," Radek mumbled. "But she won't want to come."

"Oh, yes, she will." Rodney came next to him and peered at the tablet. While he looked, he took a granola bar from one of his jacket pockets and ripped it open. "It'll be homework."

Radek stared at Rodney. Working on the machine would be good for Anna, yes. "You'd do that?"

"Why not?" Rodney shrugged, taking a bite of the bar. His eyes were alight with his own genius. "She's been begging me for some more practical work to do. Well, she said she wanted something 'real' to do, and I think this qualifies. I'll tell her in the morning. It was, um… inspiration that struck me in the middle of the night."

Radek had the notion to thank him, but better not. Rodney was already taking his "inspiration" a bit too far out of proportion. This wasn't looking like it was going to be a great trip anyway. Anna was going to be angry with him the whole time.

Radek hoped being angry was better than being sad. It explained her short temper tonight.

Wouldn't he like that excuse?

"What?" Rodney asked, looking hurt that Radek wasn't as pleased as he was.

He wasn't, but Rodney's idea had nothing to do with that. Radek turned his back to the wall and looked up at the ceiling, unsure what he was thinking. "I just screwed up everything," he said. There was nothing Rodney could do, and Radek was sure that the best advise Rodney could offer was to do the opposite of whatever Rodney's ideas were. But that was apparently better than everything Radek had come up with so far.

"I knew better, I really did. I should have told her about Elizabeth before everyone on Atlantis was talking about it," Radek said. He pulled his glasses off and slammed his forehead on one hand. "Do prdele, já jsem takovej debil." *

"You know, it's kind of nice to not be the on the receiving end of that for once," Rodney observed, casually taking another bite of his snack bar.

Radek took a moment to glare at him before going back to stare at the floor. "To jo, ty seš takovej vůl." ** Why was he talking to Rodney again?

"But, look," Rodney said. He moved a bit down the hallway to lean on the wall next to him. "It's not all that bad. Is it?"

Rodney really had no idea. On the other hand, he did have some idea, probably. "I didn't know what to say to her. How do you tell your daughter you're dating?" Dating one of her teachers? Don't think of it that way—Elizabeth was his boss first.

Did that make it worse?

Rodney shrugged. "Never had that problem."

Right. Who would date Rodney?

Katie Brown. Radek still didn't understand that at all.

He sighed. "I don't anymore," Radek muttered. "Because some 'gate technician named Nicholson told her. I don't even know who that is." That wasn't even half the problem. Well, maybe it was now, since it was so close. It was Elizabeth. But it was more Eliška. And he didn't know what he was supposed to do about either of those things.

He looked at Rodney. It sure would be nice to blame him for all this. He was going to give it a sporting try, but it wouldn't be any better.

"Look, I've had some experience with this kind of thing," Rodney offered.

"Oh, really?" Radek did his best to sound disinterested, but Rodney didn't take his tone that way.

Rodney just nodded. "Yeah. When I was four years old, my parents didn't tell me they were having another baby. My mom came home from the hospital with my little sister… and a lot smaller than when she'd left. I thought they didn't think I was good enough or something. Got a replacement."

Radek's face contorted in shock and disbelief. "What? No, they did not." What parent would do that? Not explain about a new baby? What sort of people would—Rodney McKay's parents, of course… On the other hand, that seemed somewhat hyperbolic, like all his other "McKay family" stories.

"They did." Rodney nodded, and smiled. "Look, parents don't always tell their kids stuff. Even important stuff. But they turn out okay, right? I mean, look at me."

"Yes, look at you." Radek shook his head, still not quite believing that his parents did that. "But you also didn't talk to your parents much, did you?"

Rodney shrugged. "So?"

He really didn't get it, did he?

Somehow, and Radek didn't know how he'd managed to not see this coming, he'd managed to make Radek feel even worse. What sort of parent got himself romantically involved and decided not to tell his sixteen-year-old?

A moron. That's what sort of parent.

Radek wasn't keen on Anna turning out like Rodney, whether he turned out comparatively "okay" or not. He hoped Rodney wouldn't be offended when he decided not to take a page from the McKay book of parenting. He hoped Rodney never decided to take a page from the McKay book of parenting. He hoped Rodney never decided to parent at all.

That was a more disturbing thought than anything Radek thought all night.

Well… almost anything.

Radek took a deep breath and nodded. He tapped the wall behind him as he stood. "Yes. Well, thank you for the advice." Now he just needed to do the exact opposite, and he should be good.

#

"Anna! Wait, Anna!"

Anna halted her walk down the hallway, her bag coming to a rest on her leg. She spun to see Doctor McKay running toward her, then he leaned over like he was completely out of breath. He couldn't have been jogging for more than a few feet.

"Yeah, I have a, uh…"

"Doctor Adams is waiting for me." Anna looked over her shoulder toward the Jumper Bay, half-expecting Radek to be waiting to tell her she wasn't going. Then what would she do?

"Look, I had an, um, inspiration last night." Doctor McKay stared for almost half a minute at her bag before looking up at her. "Okay, so you've been wanting something practical to do?"

Anna nodded. Practical. Something that didn't involve rehashing scenarios solved by Doctor McKay and Radek a year ago. Something that didn't involve just observation of Doctor McKay looking at stuff in labs on the outskirts of the city. But there was nothing going on here, as far as she knew.

"I want you to go with Radek," Rodney said. "I want you to help fix the shield generator."

Anna felt the blood drain from her face. This wasn't exactly what she had in mind when she said she wanted to do something practical, but… well, what did she expect? Radek lived the practical aspect of her homework. Never mind, he was awful at communication and he probably just spent the last few weeks blatantly lying to her face. At least, concealing something very important.

"Can't I—?"

"Yeah, there's not a lot of time, so you'd probably better get to the 'gate room." Doctor McKay stood to one side so Anna could go past him toward the tower. He grinned and pointed at her bag. "It's perfect, see? You're already packed."

Anna rolled her eyes. "Can I say no?"

"No?" Doctor McKay looked perfectly confused for a second. "I mean, why would you want to? You asked for this. Anna, you're always talking about how you want to go offworld. Do you or don't you, because I can definitely—"

Anna huffed as she walked past Rodney toward the 'gate room. "Fine, yes, I'll go!" she said, adding under her breath, "Nenávidím tě." ***

"Yeah," Doctor McKay mumbled, quickening his steps to catch up to her. "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't imitate Radek in every way…"

Anna whirled on Doctor McKay, about to say—what, she didn't know. Something probably unkind, and probably in Czech, but then that would just be further proof of everything he just said.

Finally, she said, "I'm not imitating Radek. Millions of people speak Czech."

"And only a handful do here," Doctor McKay pointed out. "You're a smart girl, I'm pretty sure you can call me whatever-it-is just as well in English." He hurried to walk behind her, still talking even though Anna didn't want to hear it. "Here's the deal," he said. "You're going to help Radek fix the shield generator, and then you're going to write the report for him, okay? It's pretty much like a real mission."

"It is a real mission," Anna mumbled, trying to rein in her excitement. It actually was a real mission.

Why did she always get what she wanted exactly when she didn't want it?

"Exactly," Doctor McKay said. He followed her all the way to the hallway outside the 'gate room, but didn't continue any further. He stood behind her, hands in his pockets. "Say hi to the kids for me!"

"Ty vole, 'Say hi to the kids for me,'" Anna muttered as she walked away, putting on her best McKay impression. It wasn't very flattering. "Já ti dám." ****


Czech Things

* Do prdele, já jsem takovej debil = [expletive], I'm such a moron. (Thanks, Stargate. I wanna say, like, Quarantine…? This is what I get for not writing these things down immediately.)

** To yo, ty seš takovej vůl. = Yeah, you're such an ass. (Thank you, Critical Mass.)

*** Nenávidím tě = I hate you. (Google)

**** Ty vole, "Say hi to the kids for me," já ti dám. = [expletive], "say hi to the kids for me," I'll show ya. (Thank you, also, Critical Mass.)


A/N: Can I just say it's incredibly amusing to me to give Anna Radek's words? Not even sure why.

Thank yous & etc.

MissMeow1968- Ah, but the whims of youth. He is all too familiar with these. But, yeah, it probably would have been better had he talked to Teyla. But I'm pretty sure Radek is actually terrified of Teyla. I'm terrified of Teyla. Fortunately, it worked out this time.


Next time: Being grown up is so complicated…