"Because why not?"

(-)

It was far too brief, too sudden an event for it to be the decisive moment that would make or break their plan. It had to have been the most anticlimactic climax that ever was and would be. An enemy that had killed many of his men was felled with all the effort of swinging an axe. Erwin knew he should have expected something like this, that the possibility was there however insignificant it was. Another Titan Shifter had made their presence known, and it was not just the one that was chasing Levi and his squad. No, a young girl who chopped down nearly an entire forest of giant trees had practically stumbled into their AO -although technically they stumbled upon her- and decapitated the very same Titan they were working to capture. Erwin, Hange, and whatever men were not assigned to driving the carts carrying the capture cannons were quick to ride off and meet with Levi's squad near Bunyan and the Titan.

The commander noticed that the entire squad plus Eren stared at the giant axe-wielding girl with wide eyes and dropped jaws. Save for Levi of course, who looked like he was too exasperated to give a crap. This was further reinforced when upon Erwin reaching the group the diminutive captain looked at him with complete deadpan.

"Was this your plan?" he asked plainly. "Because I don't know where to even begin with my questions."

Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled. "Let's… just see what we have here and save the questions for when we're back behind the safety of the Wall's." he answered as he turned his gaze towards the downed Titan.

Bunyan (still giant) had lowered to her knees and was now poking the large corpse. "Eww, all of her muscles are on the outside. Never seen one like this before."

As the body started to steam and rapidly decompose, Erwin spotted a person climb out from the nape and drop to the ground. They quickly scrambled to their feet and made an attempt to flee. Not that they had any chance in succeeding given the circumstances, but Erwin was not going to take any chances.

"Bunyan! Don't let the enemy escape!"

Snapping her head up, Bunyan turned to see a lone individual sprinting away from them as fast as they could. They were wearing a hooded cape to conceal their identity, but that wouldn't help them for much longer. Reaching over to grab the person, Bunyan was briefly blinded as an explosion of light erupted from their position. Moments later the same Titan that Bunyan had just killed was back alive and making a hasty retreat.

Grabbing a nearby log, Bunyan quickly sharpened the end to a point before hurling the makeshift spear at the fleeing Titan. The improvised weapon soon found itself impaled in the Titan's torso, bringing its sprint to a dead halt as they tumbled to the ground. Again the corpse started to decompose as someone climbed free from the neck. This time the individual appeared to be struggling to stay upright as they stumbled forward in yet another hopeless attempt to flee. Before the enemy had a chance to pull the same trick again, Bunyan leapt over and caught them with all the grace of a child trying to catch a grasshopper. The giant girl cupped her hands as she lifted the person up and carried them back to Erwin.

"Caught you!" the giant girl cheered.

"There is something wrong with this situation. I'm not sure what it is, but I don't think I'll ever be able to put it into words." Eld remarked as he watched the unfolding scene.

"I'd be impressed if you could." Oluo added as he tried to mentally collect himself. "This whole mission has been a total shit-show."

Dropping to her knees before them, Bunyan held out her hands to present the captured enemy. "I got them!" she exclaimed with a bright smile.

"You have our thanks." Erwin responded as he finally was able to salvage what little sanity remained into something resembling proper human interaction. Making a subtle gesture, the commander signaled for Levi to take the lead in apprehending the enemy.

Walking over to Bunyan's hands, Levi leaned against her interlocked fingers and spoke. "This is gonna go one of two ways; you come out peacefully and we all go back to base with no problems whatsoever, or you can be difficult, and I'll have our giant friend here squeeze you like a grape. Personally, I'm hoping for the latter."

"…"

Levi sighed. "You got five seconds to decide."

"… I'd like to request amnesty in exchange for my cooperation." Came a muffled reply.

He chuckled darkly. "You don't seem to understand how this works." Jabbing his thumb over his shoulder (not that the person could see it) he explained. "Just how many people do you think you killed back there? How many wives you turned to widows, children turned to orphans, sons and daughters who won't be going home to their parents? The only amnesty you get is whether I break one of your legs or both."

"You're kinda scary mister." Bunyan opined.

"Alright! I'll come out!"

Erwin nodded his head at Bunyan, and she slowly opened her hands to reveal their captive.

"W-what the hell?" Eren remarked in shock. The enemy was someone he easily recognized. "Annie?!"

"You know this bitch?" Levi remarked as he looked over his shoulder at Eren.

Said teen appeared to be struggling to accept the situation, as he was having difficulty in forming the words necessary to explain. "Y-yeah. She was in the same cadet training group as me… But I don't understand. Why are you here Annie? I thought you went to join the MP."

Levi scoffed. "She's here because she's the enemy." He stated as if it was blindingly obvious. Focusing his gaze back on the blonde girl, he made his contempt known. "The traitor in our midst who just killed over half our expedition force."

The girl gave a weak glare of defiance at Levi's menacing visage, only to have it shatter when the diminutive man drove his knee into her stomach, causing her to double-over and cough in pain. Eren winced and almost jumped to her aide out of a sense of camaraderie from when they were cadets, but Gunther put a hand on his shoulder to dissuade him. Recovering her breath and lifting her gaze back up to meet Levi's own, she immediately realized it was a mistake. A boot was slammed into her face with such great force that it bust her nose and even managed to knock out a tooth.

"Since you're the same as Eren, that must mean you can heal from wounds like this no problem." he stated as he pressed her head to the ground with his boot. "That's good, because there is a lot more where that came from."

"Uhh, aren't you being a bit too rough with her?" Bunyan asked nervously.

Levi spared the giant girl a glance, only to realize she was suddenly at a more reasonable size after having handed him Annie.

"No." he answered as he removed his foot from the back of Annie's head before kicking her in the stomach, causing her to roll onto her back. "If you knew how many men and women she just killed on our way here," he stomped on her left forearm, snapping the bone in two and eliciting a scream. "then you'd understand that this is far too lenient of a punishment."

"Hnnn…" Bunyan hummed as she removed her gaze from the brutal scene in front of her.

"So, we ready to call this mission accomplished and head back to base?" Levi questioned while glancing at Erwin.

The commander nodded. "Yes. This wasn't exactly how we planned for things to turn out, but a victory is still a victory nonetheless." Erwin answered as he gestured for his men to restrain Annie. He then turned to acknowledge the elephant in the room. "Bunyan, would you care to join us on our trip back? I'm sure you'd like to know where you are in relation to the nearest settlement."

Erwin knew that there would be no possible way for him to force Bunyan to come with them, so he needed to play to her apparent isolation from humanity. The promise of seeing other humans should be plenty appealing.

"Oh! That's a great idea!" Bunyan exclaimed before quickly running back to her cabin. "Let me just grab a few things and wash my face."

With a momentary reprieve from Bunyan's presence, Levi felt the need to ask the question that was on everyone's mind. "Seriously, what the hell?"

"Trust me, I'm finding this out the same time as you are." He answered before looking to a pair of scouts nearby. "You two, go out and spread the word; mission accomplished, return to base."

They gave a quick salute before riding off with flare guns loaded.

(-)

For Annie Leonhardt, things had gone from fine to foul in just a matter of minutes. This whole mission was a serious clusterfuck of strangeness and otherwise impossible occurrences. Everything had basically been going as planned, and Reiner even managed to let her know where to find Eren. It seemed that the commander was on to them in some capacity, and thus kept Eren's true location a guarded secret while giving out false information to the rest of the squads, including Reiner's. Still, she doubted it was Reiner himself who figured out where the teen was. The guy is intelligent, but not so good when it comes to moment-to-moment planning. That was part of why the Trost breach could not be salvaged. No, she had a feeling it was the other blonde boy who discerned where Eren was and let Reiner know.

She mentally sighed. Armin really was too smart for his own good.

But not even the clever boy could have foreseen what happened to the forest. To Annie's credit, she only briefly stumbled in shock upon seeing the entire forest was gone. She was trained for countless combat situations, taught how to make snap decisions on the fly, and adapt to whatever problems may arise during their mission… Never once was she taught what to do when an entire forest up and vanishes. And it had soon turned out that the forest was only the first of the impossible to predict situations that sent her sliding down the suddenly steep slope that led to mission failure. A log cabin in the middle of nowhere, a girl who could essentially reproduce the effect of the Warhammer Titan, and then being captured after having her Titan form killed twice in rapid succession.

Doing her best to calm her inner turmoil, Annie needed to focus all her efforts on planning her next move. Though she was captured, it soon became apparent that the scouts were not fully aware of the extent of her abilities. Sure, they tied her up with enough rope that she could hardly breath, but that didn't mean much when they hadn't bothered to remove the ring she was wearing. She allowed herself an internal grin. It was such an inconsequential object, a tiny accessory that nobody would deem important. All she needed to do was wait long enough for her stamina to recover and she could make her escape. And if she isn't able to recover before they reach Kalaneth, then there was always plan B. Hopefully someone would come and rescue her in the near future.

Grunting in annoyance as she was roughly shoved onto one of the carts for transport, she just needed to kill time until she could escape. It's not like the two guards accompanying her in the wagon would be able to stop her once she transforms.

Her musing was interrupted as a strange blue creature climbed up into the cart and laid down at her feet. The carts final occupant climbed on board and sat right across from her. Said person appeared to be a young girl of indeterminate age.

"Hey there! Looks like we will be sharing a wagon. I cannot remember the last time I rode in one. Oh, since the trip will take a while, do you want to play a game? How about I spy, or shiritori?"

But all Annie could see was a monster looming over her.