For Author's note and Disclaimer, see chapter 1

Chapter 23

His sleep had been restless and filled with uneasy snippets of dreams, causing Jim to turn restlessly every now and again. Obviously he had been restless enough to annoy Bones into wakefulness on more than one occasion, at least if the whispered if aggravated murmurs was anything to go by. He couldn't help it though, something was wrong and it was getting to him that he did not know what. He knew it though, he was sure of it. In so many ways Bones acted like he always did, mildly grouchy with a smile here and there. Overly concerned about everyone else and not enough about himself. He fretted and worried about every single member of the crew but couldn't spare himself five minutes rest for a cup of coffee.

Typical Bones and it shouldn't surprise him at all. There were other things though, the nightmares, the exhausted air around him and the way he was even more quiet than usual. Bones was always tight lipped about his own past, but now he was not just quiet but appearing numb in some way. Jim didn't know how to explain it, but it bothered him, it bothered him a great deal.

It was why the alarm startled him awake more than it woke him, it was why he flung out his hands as he bolted upright.

"Dagnabbit! Of all the mule headed ornery mangy critters, why in tarnation did I have to get stuck with the one who can't go one blasted morning without throwing his fists about?" Bones voice was laced with weariness, muffled by clenched teeth as he rubbed his jaw. "Not enough that ya keep tossing and squirming like a flea in a hot pan all night, no, oh no, that'd be to easy wouldn't it? Ya just had to go an do that to, again! Didn't ya!"

"Sorry, I guess I didn't sleep too well," he admitted. Very well aware of the way Spock was frowning where he stood.

"Oh really?" Bones still sounded weary more than angry as he slid out of bed. "Not like I didn't notice the way ya were carrying on. What in the blue blazes is the matter anyway? Anybody got any right to be losing sleep over this, it's me, but yer as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs."

"I guess the situation is starting to wear on me to," he decided. If he told Bones he was worried about him, the older man would just bristle and say there was no need. Bones did not take concern very well. He never had, not as far back as Jim had known him. He was always very concerned about everyone else, but he did not take it to well when it was directed at him. It was as if he still thought it was just someone trying to figure out his weakness, looking for something that could be used against him. Even from Jim, his best friend, he did not take it easy but would shift his weight onto his toes as he gritted his teeth. Ready, fight or flight, guarded to see what was coming and God forbid that you claimed pure kindness.

You could not get to Bones that way, it was not possible to reach through to him. It was better now than it had been, before on their last posting. It was better than it had been back then because then Bones would outright look hurt if you enquired about him.

It was better, but it was not good.

"Well, I've been telling you it's wearing everyone down," now Bones stood next to him, concern on his voice as he eyed the Captain. "Did ya really think it'd be everyone but you?" Taking his wrist he placed his sensitive fingertips on the pulsepoint and Jim let him though he mustered up a light smile.

"I'm alright Bones, just weary, like you said it's everyone and I'm no special case. Seeing my ship like this, it hurts Bones." Not to mention the bruise that was starting to come in under the stubble on Bone's jaw. The shiner had faded to nothing but the faintest of green tinge under his eye, but it was all clear evidence of their unfortunate situation.

Now the doctor seemed at least to be satisfied for the moment. "Scotty's got it in hand," he stated. "He's taking care of it, and you know he won't be satisfied until he got his ship back in top shape."

"I know," Jim offered him a smile as Bones turned towards the bathroom. It was the way he saw it one of the constants in the universe, Scotty would not settle for his ship in anything but top condition. The Enterprise was his baby, the apple of his eye, and the engineer loved her like he loved no other. He knew her well enough to accomplish what must seem like miracles to others, because he knew just how much she could give and when there was nothing left to draw on.

If it had been a lesser man as chief engineer, they would not have lasted as long as they did now, he knew that. Anyone who clocked in and clocked out at the end of the shift would have failed to keep them going in the condition they were in now. As unfortunate as their situation were, without Scotty it would have been far worse.

He knew this, just like he knew that if it wasn't for Bones dedication to the crew they would also have been worse off than they were. No one liked to be hypoed every day, but it kept the crew in good health and as much as they grumbled and complained they knew this. The same men who complained and grumbled would not hesitate to defend their doctor should there be need of it and Kirk knew it. As a captain he knew the crew would look out for one another and it made him proud.

With the door to the bathroom closed Jim glanced to Spock who had remained quiet and observant the entire time.

"Captain," the Vulcan inclined his head. "Were you aware that you slept less than recommended for a human?"

"I noticed," he nodded. "And unfortunately I wasn't the only one… bad dreams Spock. And regretfully livid."

"Indeed," the Vulcan inclined his head again in a nod. "I did notice the doctor was also in some distress. Is there any way I can be of service?"

"I think most of it is hinging on getting the ship back in shape," he mused. "Bones is trying to look out for everyone else, you know how he is. He won't admit how hard it is wearing on him, and that, along with everything else is wearing on me."

"I have noticed this," Spock nodded. "In fact, the very same thing seems to apply to Doctor McCoy as he claims concern for you. I find it quite fascinating that both parties should be so affected by the other, but it is hardly beneficial for either."

"I know," Jim nodded. "I'll tell you what Spock, don't let Bones on to your concern, and I'll use a bit of authority today to make him take care of himself."

"Captain, I do believe that would be an improvement of our current situation," Spock declared, falling silent as McCoy came back out of the bathroom and Jim took his turn. Amazing, three of them sharing the same quarter and it was barely noticeable. The laundry hamper was filling up even though they needed to conserve what they had. It was however unavoidable that some of the garments went past the limit of tolerable. In the small enclosed space the smell of sweat coming from the basket was starting to become somewhat pungent. Once they were able to pay attention and resources to such things again, it would be a heck of a time for the personal to get back on top of it.

Aside from that one thing though he would hardly have been able to tell if not for the fact that there were three separate toothbrushes in the stand, and three razors on the shelf. No clutter of any kind to indicate the space was occupied by more than it had been intended for. Back at the academy he had known people who managed to make a mess in less than one night. Roomates who invited someone over for one night and managed to create chaos, and he had heard some grumbling around the ship that hinted to something of the same. Not everyone was as neat and orderly as the Vulcan and the doctor were.

Following their example of shaving quickly he excited to find them both more or less ready for breakfast. Spock stood waiting patiently, Bones was searching out what Jim took to be his last clean undershirt and he made a note to try and find one for him later. It was odd to see him dress in anything other than science blue, but the stripes he figured suited him. Not that he figured the man wanted to hear it, Bones had never chased the position. He had got where he was by sheer dedication to his work. Because he never put anything else before it. Something that was evident when he put his nutrient bar down on the table untouched. Hastily swallowing a mouthful of the too hot coffee even as he got to his feet as the call for medical came in.

It was nothing but what Jim expected from him, and the same thing he would have done himself. Hurrying down to sickbay to find out whatever it was they needed him for. He just hoped he would take the time to eat later. Knowing Bones it was hard to be sure. If he had to miss one meal he had an annoying habit of thinking he could wait for the next one rather than go take some food as soon as the medical emergency had passed.

Well, he would just have to check in on him later and make sure he had something.

After all, Bones was always nagging him about those things, turnabout was only fair…

TBC

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