TWO
The more he did it, the easier it became and the harder it was to stop.
Stopping wasn't even on his agenda.
He couldn't wrap his brain around a single specific reason he felt the need to violate Sasuke this way. There were multiple reasons he could chalk it up to. For one, Itachi felt like he was running out of time. There were all these pests multiplying around his Otouto like fleas drawn to their host. The older Sasuke grew, the more attention he drew. Who could blame them? Sasuke was an absolute beauty. He was bound to get asked out a lot, and, even if his Otouto scoffed now at the idea of dating and rejected all the confessions he received, his attitude would one day change and urge him to say yes.
Just the mere thought was enough to lure Itachi into a furious frenzy.
Then, there was this impulsive need to touch the boy. To feel his warmth, reassure himself that he was real and right by his side. He didn't know where this incessant need to maintain skinship with his Otouto began. He supposed he was always very fond of his dear Otouto.
No one could understand him and speak to him the way Sasuke could. So honest and natural, accepting and genuine. He made Itachi feel safe and loved. Accepted for who he was. Even when he defied the path laid out for him by their parents and was nearly disowned, stubborn to pave his own future, Sasuke supported him with open arms and an encouraging smile.
Over time, it became natural to rely on his Otouto for his troubles. Not that he often spoke of them nor did the boy force him to speak his mind, but Sasuke always sat there and accompanied him quietly, making sure Itachi wasn't sad or alone. He was genuinely a good boy.
Naturally, Itachi fell in love with Sasuke over the years.
Which led him to the final reason. With love, came a deep set attraction. For Itachi, it was so bad that he experienced withdrawals when he didn't get to see the boy, bathe in his presence and warmth, and spend time with him. It was much worse when he didn't receive some sort of affection from Sasuke that included physical touch.
Touch was Itachi's love language, he realized during those trying times. He loved through physical touch and needed Sasuke's touch in return to feel accepted and wanted. Otherwise, he'd grow antsy and irritable, unable to sit still or perform the simplest tasks.
He knew that he was very attached to Sasuke, more than the boy would ever know and understand, because Itachi, himself, couldn't understand it, but what did he expect when he'd been in love with Sasuke for nearly eight years?
At this point in his life, he felt like the words were at the tip of his tongue, and one wrong overzealous moment would cause him to spew them all into the open. He dreamt about his Otouto almost nightly for fuck's sake. And when he wasn't dreaming, he was daydreaming about being lovers.
At the end of the day, these reasons were mere excuses for his behavior. He knew. He wasn't so jaded that he became delusional or oblivious. Hopeful, yes, but the boy had never expressed anything other than brotherly affection for Itachi.
Itachi liked to think that he was considered harmless to his Otouto. Yes, he did touch him inappropriately, but he meant no harm. He would never hurt or throw Sasuke away, and he loved him from the bottom of his heart.
That's why he found himself standing, once again, at the edge of his Otouto's bed, eyes lingering on his sleeping face. It was a little after one in the morning, and Itachi had just gotten home from his away game two cities over. He had left before dawn without even a goodbye to his slumbering Otouto and wasn't able to return until just moments ago.
Itachi's duffle bag sat outside the bedroom door, abandoned. The man hadn't even bothered to go to his own room when he let himself in, finding his feet making a beeline into Sasuke's first. His Otouto was already asleep on his side facing the doorway, and upon stepping quietly into the boy's room, Itachi had automatically set his sights on Sasuke.
When he looked at the boy, it was like he had developed tunnel vision. Everything else faded in the background, including his own beating heart lurching out of his chest, and his shoulders sagged in relief, the anxiety melting away as his panicked gaze mellowed out and turned soft.
These were the days that were the hardest for Itachi. His away games on weekends took up so much of his time and usually required frequent trips to different cities, which meant he wouldn't come home till the day after.
He hated it. Leaving Sasuke alone for such a long time. It wasn't good for either of them.
He found himself leaning down to place a kiss on the boy's lips before he pulled away and caressed his soft cheek. "I'm back, my love," he whispered, rubbing his thumb back and forth along the apple of Sasuke's cheek. "I missed you."
Itachi closed his eyes and he leaned forward again for another kiss. This time, his lips made contact with the boy's temple, but he let them linger while his stroking thumb stilled.
"I missed you so much," he repeated against the boy's forehead, agonizing sadness dripping from his words. He wanted to squeeze the boy to his chest, show him how much he was missed, but he forced himself to remain collected. He didn't want to wake his adorable, slumbering boy up.
Itachi was just about to pull away and leave Sasuke alone when he felt a shift underneath his hovering form, and delicate, yet sturdy arms wrapped themselves around his neck.
"Ngh, missed you, too, 'niki," Sasuke mumbled, words barely strung together.
With a start, Itachi pulled back. When his gaze settled on Sasuke, he was presented with drowsy, half-lidded eyes blurred by sleep. It was so fucking endearing Itachi nearly kissed him wholeheartedly. Without any hesitation, Itachi embraced the boy, his excitement and strength causing him to drag half of the boy's body into the bed.
The boy groaned quietly, seemingly too tired to continue to keep his eyes open, and slid them shut. Yet, he allowed Itachi to lift him up and press him against his body while his arms remained wrapped around Itachi as if he placed all his strength into it.
"Too tired… bedtime…" Sasuke's jumbled words said. "Come sleep with me," he mumbled.
Itachi's heart warmed. You see? Sasuke never failed to give him what he needed. Just when Itachi thought he was going to go suffer in his own room, distraught over missing the boy and unable to be with him, Sasuke gave him an invitation. He gave him affection.
Very carefully, Itachi laid the boy back down on his side of the bed and detached the heavy arms from around his neck, very aware that Sasuke's breathing had mellowed out again along with the rise and fall of his chest. The boy had fallen asleep again.
Itachi reached over his shoulder and tugged off his long-sleeved shirt and let it drop on the ground, but left his sweats on. Then, he climbed into the boy's bed from the other side, fitting his chest perfectly against his Otouto's slender back.
He shuddered briefly, the intense warmth seeping into his skin and warming up his cool body, before he settled his nose in the crook of Sasuke's nape. Inhaling deeply, he could feel the leftover tension ease its way out of his body, making room for butterflies in the pit of his belly.
He realized, then and there, he did not feel the need to touch his Otouto inappropriately as he initially thought when he first stepped foot into his room. Sure, the desire was there, but it didn't feel as pressing as it usually did.
Before, Itachi had been so jacked up on his own emotions, on how much he missed Sasuke, that he needed a buffer to help him express just how much he missed the boy. However, after receiving so much affection from his Otouto (even in his sleep), Itachi felt his nerves cool down. He was simply happy that Sasuke wanted him to sleep with him in his bed. Truly, he felt loved by the boy in that waking moment.
His Otouto muttered something incoherent in his sleep and snuggled against him, and Itachi found himself smiling softly.
"Oyasumi, Otouto," he whispered.
Good night, my love.
When Itachi woke up in the morning, it was still dark outside, and he found his Otouto sleeping on top of him. All one hundred and forty pounds of him laid flat on top of him. His cheek was pressed to one of Itachi's pecs and his arms were wound around the man's torso, holding him close like a body pillow.
Compared to all one hundred and eighty pounds of him, Sasuke was hardly a heavy boy and Itachi did not know how he found his way on top of him in his sleep nor how long he'd been in that position, but he felt a slight soreness accompany his body. He attributed it to yesterday's game and the overexertion of his muscles, but there was no way he'd wake the boy up.
This was just too precious. If only this was a daily occurrence.
He wrapped one arm around Sasuke's lower back while his dominant one stroked up and down his spine, pausing periodically to rub circles.
His dear Otouto used to crawl into his bed and under his shirt when he was little during cold nights and thunderstorms. He would burrow himself underneath Itachi's much larger shirts for warmth and comfort, never caring about whether Itachi was awake or asleep, welcoming or brooding. He was like a little hamster crawling into its burrow. Sasuke would get more than half of his tiny body into the man's shirt before he popped his tiny head through the opening and snuggled up to Itachi's chin.
It seems his Otouto had developed a pattern of sleeping from the good old days, judging by his comfortable position in such an uncomfortable location. Seriously, how did Sasuke sleep in that position for so long?
With an endearing smile, he placed a kiss atop the boy's head and slowly rolled sideways, catching his Otouto in his arms and moving his body comfortably to the mattress. Sasuke twitched in his sleep, latching onto his stuffy next to him, and fell back asleep.
Itachi took a long shower after leaving the boy's room, washing off any residual sweat from the previous night's game. He had taken a quick shower in the locker room after the game, but he had been in a rush to get home so he didn't linger and wash his hair properly.
Once in the hot shower, he gave his hair the attention it deserved before he patted it dry with a towel and rubbed the condensation off the mirror.
A haggard appearance stared back at him. His skin wasn't as flawless as it usually was, slightly paler than usual. Even the space between his eyebrows seemed like they were frozen over in a scowl, and the region below his eyes was riddled with dark bags, no doubt a result of overworking at university and during practices and games while attempting to balance those out with his part-time job. On top of that, he made time to spend with his Otouto and had to add sleep to the equation. His plate was overflowing.
Itachi sighed and splashed water on his face. Fucking hell, he looked like a train wreck. Even so, a part of him screamed at him to persevere because he would rather look like hell than abandon his late night rendezvous with Sasuke. He'd rather die.
Their parents weren't due back for another few days, six to be exact, so they were on their own until then. If it was up to Itachi, he'd take Sasuke with him so they could live on their own instead of having to be under the roof of a hypocrite and an enabler. Thinking about it put him in a bad mood.
He turned off the faucet and stepped out into the hallway. A chilly breeze swept by his naked torso where the droplets of water still collected, and the only thing that kept him from his birthday suit was the towel around his hips.
The house was as still as an oil painting and not a thing was out of place… except Sasuke's bedroom door, which he had closed behind him earlier, was wide open.
"Otouto?" he called, brows knitting together.
He heard some rustling and he followed it to his own bedroom, bumping into the boy who poked his head out to look into the hall. Itachi stuttered to a halt, catching his Otouto when he stumbled backward. "Be careful," he chastised, planting the boy firmly on his feet.
"Aniki," he heard the boy call.
"Mhm. Yes, Otouto?" Itachi kept his hands on Sasuke's biceps, noticing the odd look he received from the boy.
"Did you… sleep in my bed last night?"
Quirked brow. "Yes."
"Oh… no wonder it smelled like you."
Itachi found himself on the brink of laughter, amusement glimmering in his adoring gaze. It was just a week ago that Itachi said something similar to the boy. "Sasuke, we were raised together. We have the same smell."
"Nuh-uh, you smell different," Sasuke mumbled.
"Do I?" Itachi murmured fondly. "Do I smell good to you?"
Sasuke leaned in for a noticeable whiff, his button nose bumping into the man's naked chest. "…Very."
"Oh?" Itachi uttered. That adorable boy must still have been half asleep to voice words so out of the norm. As expected, Sasuke's eyelids were half-hooded, and his head was lulling forward. Itachi felt his lips tug upward. "Shall we get you back into bed?" he coaxed, a palm against the boy's lower back guiding him into his room.
"I can sleep in your bed?" Sasuke yawned, already beginning to crawl into Itachi's bed as if he hadn't snuck in earlier when the elder was in the shower.
The man's shoulders shook like leaves on a tree. "Of course, Otouto," Itachi responded.
Sasuke didn't respond so Itachi assumed the boy had fallen back asleep again. He tugged off his towel and tossed it into the hamper before padding over to his drawers to find a t-shirt and sweats. When he was comfortably dressed, he sat down at his desk and opened his laptop, resuming his coursework.
He heard the boy mumble something beside him and paused briefly, glancing over to his left.
"What was that, Otouto?"
Silence. It must have been the boy's subconscious.
Itachi's fingers continued to skim over the keyboard.
"...You… look good… naked…" came the mumbled words, perforating that Sunday morning like a bolt of lightning.
It was so fucking surprising that Itachi's entire body froze and his eyes widened on the spot.
"What?" he asked, stupefied.
The silence was permanent this time.
It didn't sound sexual in any sense of the word. If Itachi had to put it into words, it seemed like his Otouto was voicing an observation of sorts.
It took Itachi a solid fifteen minutes before he could regain control of his body and mind. By then, he could no longer concentrate on his work.
Another two hours skated by before he knew it, and it was around eight o'clock that he heard shuffling beside him.
"Aniki, you're back," Sasuke said, surprised. This time his voice was clear and his eyes were focused.
A small smile touched Itachi's lips. Sasuke's memory was so poor when he was half-asleep that it would have been alarming if it wasn't a lifelong quirk he had.
"I'm back, Otouto."
I'm home, my love.
"When did you get back?" Sasuke asked, legs swinging over the side of the bed. He left them there, swaying forward and back.
"In the middle of the night. Did you forget, Otouto? You invited me into your bed."
The leg movements paused before they continued. "Did I?" he replied. His face scrunched up cutely. "Then, what am I doing in your bed? "
"I woke up early to shower. When I came out, you had already migrated to my room."
"Oh. Sorry," Sasuke muttered, glancing away. "Did you leave me because I was a bed hog?"
An image of Sasuke laying on his chest flashed through Itachi's mind, but he kept it to himself. His gaze softened as he stared at the boy, who was now fiddling with the sheets.
"Who could bear to leave you?" Itachi answered, reaching out to tug gently at the boy's arm.
Sasuke allowed himself to be pulled into a standing position, lower body pressed against Itachi's sitting form. Itachi could tell the boy was doing his best not to meet his gaze, a kind of shyness that was left behind due to their last remarks.
"I missed you, Otouto," Itachi stated, not a single wisp of anything other than sincerity in his words.
Sasuke looked at him then, his eyes filled with an emotion Itachi could not place. "You were gone longer this time," the boy said quietly. "You didn't even call me. I was waiting for you to call me."
Guilt raked through Itachi's entire core. When he had returned home on Friday, the boy had already fallen asleep. Itachi had washed up and gone to bed, waking up only a few hours later at four on Saturday so that his team could pick him up for their game two cities over. After the rallies, formalities, and main event, they had to drive all the way back, which had taken a huge chunk of time. And, by the time he had arrived home, it was already early Sunday morning.
Therefore, to Sasuke, who hadn't seen Itachi since Friday morning when they were both getting ready for school, it was a big deal.
Two whole days. Forty-eight hours. Two-thousand-eight-hundred-and-eighty minutes.
No wonder Itachi had also been so antsy to see Sasuke last night. It was so much more than usual that he was on the brink of going mad until he spotted the small lump underneath the covers.
They had been apart too long, and Itachi had left Sasuke in the house by himself for two whole days.
The guilt was crushing.
"I'm sorry, Otouto," Itachi whispered in despair. "Were you lonely?"
"Mm." Sasuke nodded, looking down.
"I'm sorry." Itachi's hand began rubbing the arm that was in his hold. "I promise to call in the future, okay?"
"Okay," Sasuke whispered.
Itachi stood, pulling the sullen boy into his arms. "I have two more games, and then the season will end. After that, no more away games."
"No more?" Sasuke repeated, his doe-like eyes tilting up to look at Itachi.
"No more."
"Okay."
"Why don't you go shower and we can go out for breakfast and do some window shopping at the mall?" Itachi said, ruffling Sasuke's spikes.
The sad, downturned gaze suddenly perked up. "Really?" he said, a hint of excitement jumpstarting his mood.
"What better way to spend a Sunday than with my beloved Otouto?" Itachi responded, a light teasing tone in his voice.
Sasuke laughed delightfully and perched himself onto his toes, landing a wet one on Itachi's cheek before skedaddling out of the room. He only stopped briefly to grab a towel from the hallway closet before he disappeared into the bathroom.
The boy's laughter was music to his ears, but it was the kiss that left Itachi on Cloud Nine. He turned off his laptop and tidied up his desk, sauntering toward his closet to get himself ready.
Several hours later, Sasuke found himself falling onto the couch with a tired groan as Itachi toed off his shoes at the entrance. They had eaten brunch at the boy's favorite spot, spent a few hours roaming the three-story mall, and ended up watching a movie in the built-in theater. By the time they were back in Itachi's car, his Otouto had been yawning from exhaustion.
"I'm sleepy," Sasuke murmured as his head lulled back against the couch.
The man watched fondly as he set down the miscellaneous bags of items from their adventure.
"Do you want to eat dinner or take a bath and go to bed, Otouto?"
"Bed," Sasuke groaned, standing up with a yawn and stretch.
The boy was so predictable. "Make sure you grab another towel from the hallway closet. There aren't any more in the bathroom."
"Mmkay," the boy murmured, slumping where he stood.
"Do you need some help?" Itachi teased, approaching him.
"Yes, please."
Half-hooded eyes stared up at the man and slender arms reached in his direction, startling the man. Instinctually, Itachi grabbed onto the boy and hefted him into his arms, hands wrapped around the back of Sasuke's thighs. Naturally, his Otouto's arms found their way around Itachi's neck.
"Thank you, Aniki," Sasuke mumbled against the man's neck, closing his eyes, as Itachi began moving in the direction of the bathroom.
"You know, when you're sleepy, you turn into an absolute baby, Otouto," Itachi whispered, amusement brimming in his words.
"So?"
Itachi's shoulders shook. "Do you need help bathing, too?"
"Yes, please."
Itachi's steps faltered, halted even for a millisecond, before he found himself setting Sasuke down on the sink counter. The boy stifled another yawn as his arms were detached, seemingly unaware of what he had just said…. Maybe that, or Itachi's mind was completely in the gutter.
Reluctantly, he started the bath, eyeing the half-asleep boy on the counter. "Come on, Otouto. The sooner you bathe, the sooner you can go to bed."
The sweet boy stifled a yawn and stretched his arms above his head. Then, he hopped off and undressed without a care in the world.
And there he stood, naked, beautiful… absolutely stunning, in front of Itachi. It made it difficult for the man to breathe.
"I just showered this morning, 'niki," he said, gripping onto Itachi's arm as he slowly stepped in. "Why do I have to bathe again?"
"Mhmm," Itachi murmured in kind, coming to sit at the edge of the tub. "We've been running around all day, Otouto. Isn't it better to be squeaky clean before climbing into bed?"
The boy groaned and bent forward to press his cheek against Itachi's thigh. "Then why aren't you taking a bath, too?" he muttered, barely stringing his words together.
"I'll take one after you," Itachi responded, stroking the boy's hair.
The boy nuzzled the man's thigh. "I'm done, 'niki."
"Don't be silly, Otouto. You just got in and haven't even washed yet."
"Come in and help me," Sasuke whined.
"Such a baby," Itachi whispered, a fond gaze trained on the boy. "Do you really want me in there with you? It'd be a tight fit." Just like some other things.
The man noticed the slight perk in the boy's shoulder as he looked up at him. "You can fit," he stated confidently, one palm splashing into the water behind him as if setting Itachi an invisible spot.
Itachi's gaze flickered over to the rippling water behind the boy, the circular waves whispering sweet nothings in his ears. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, the uncertainty in his eyes evident. Of course, his cock had been throbbing for ages inside his pants, but if he were to undress, then Sasuke would definitely see it. God forbid, he'd feel it.
That wasn't even his most pressing concern. He wasn't confident that he wouldn't simply bend his sweet Otouto over and have his way with him. Actually, he wasn't confident that he would stop if the boy cried and begged underneath him. That was the scariest part.
"...Maybe another time, Otouto," he finally said, noticing the immediate droop of the atmosphere surrounding the boy.
A pout found its way to Sasuke's lips, and he looked down at the body of water surrounding him. "Aniki… you don't love me."
Those whispered words penetrated the silence in the room, causing Itachi's heart to freeze.
"What?" he choked out, eyes wide.
"You don't love me," Sasuke repeated. His words were heated this time, followed by a hmph.
"That's not true," Itachi said, brows furrowing. I love you. I love you more than anything.
"No! You said I had to take a bath. You said you'd help me. Now, you're saying no. Why is it always no? No, no, no! I don't like when you tell me no!" Sasuke sobbed out of nowhere.
It was like watching a four-year-old melt down in the middle of a grocery store because they didn't receive their daily nap that afternoon. Itachi's astonished gaze disappeared, replaced by an air of understanding. After all, this was not the first time Sasuke acted so out of character. The boy must have been exhausted. "Otouto, you're tired. Come, let me towel you off, and we can go to bed, okay?"
Sasuke glared at the man, refusal evident in his gaze. "I don't want to," he replied.
Itachi frowned. "You'll catch a cold like that."
Sasuke turned to stare at the opposite wall, setting his arms above his drawn up knees and head on top. Silence was his answer.
"Why is it so important to you that I take a bath with you, Otouto?" Itachi murmured, reaching out to pet the boy's hair. Surprisingly, he was not brushed off. "Is there something you need from Aniki?"
"... No."
The man remained quiet, stroking the boy's hair with a gentle palm. Eventually, Sasuke spoke up. It was a mutter at best, but Itachi could understand him perfectly well.
"I don't want to go to sleep yet…. I want to spend more time with you."
Itachi's heart squeezed painfully in his chest. "I'm not going anywhere, my sweet Otouto. But it is late and I know you're tired, so we need to get you to bed."
"I want to sleep in your bed," Sasuke whispered, finally lifting his head. "Please?"
"Since when have I ever said no to that?" Itachi murmured with a smile, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's body. He placed the boy on a bath mat and proceeded to dry him off.
"I want Aniki to sleep with me," Sasuke continued, round teary eyes staring at Itachi. "All night."
"Of course, Otouto. Why don't you go ahead and get into bed and I'll meet you in my room in a few minutes?" Itachi suggested, keeping the towel draped over the boy's shoulders so he wouldn't catch a cold.
"Can't I just wait for you here?" Sasuke asked nervously as if he was waiting for the man to abandon him.
Itachi's heart nearly broke in two. His precious Otouto must have waited a long time for him to come home during his last game, unprepared for Itachi's departure and the length of time he would be gone.
The man cursed underneath his breath. This was all his fault.
"You'll catch a cold like this, Otouto," Itachi responded, rubbing his palms along the boy's biceps to create friction and heat. "Aniki will be super quick, okay? By the time you count to 100, I'll be done. How's that sound?"
The hesitance in Sasuke's demeanor eased up slightly. "You promise?"
"I promise, Otouto."
I'll never leave you alone again.
By the time Itachi had closed his bedroom door, he could clearly make out the lump underneath his covers. "Sasuke?" he murmured, gently pulling down the covers.
A quiet whimper reached his ears and a frown curled onto his lips. "What's wrong, my sweet Otouto?"
Itachi joined him underneath the covers, taking note of the fact that the boy had only tugged on one of Itachi's large shirts and neglected to pull on any shorts, but ignored it, coaxing the sniffling boy into his arms.
"I… I-I'm sad."
"Tell Aniki why you're sad."
"… You don't want to spend time with me," Sasuke whimpered, words coming out as a sob. "That's why you leave without telling me. That's why you don't call."
Harsh wails echoed in Itachi's ears, causing his frown to deepen and his grip to tighten.
"Oh, my sweet Otouto, that's not true at all," the man murmured, cradling Sasuke against his chest. "I don't tell you when I can help it because, if I see your face, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to leave. And, if I called and heard your voice, I would throw everything away and come running. You don't remember, but the first thing I did when I came home in the middle of the night was come see you. I missed you terribly, too. So don't be sad, Otouto. It's not because I don't love you enough. It's just that I love you too much."
Sasuke sniffled. "You're not just saying that, are you?" Sasuke whispered, finally looking up at Itachi.
"I would never lie to you, Otouto."
"Okay." His voice was so tiny that it made Itachi's heart hurt.
"I won't leave you ever again," Itachi murmured, kissing the boy's cheek. He pulled Sasuke's body closer to his as if proving to himself that he was actually there, that the warmth he felt was real and within arm's reach. The boy was silent, having cried himself to sleep. "You don't know how much I love you, Otouto," Itachi uttered in the dark room. "I love you so much I'm going crazy."
