little disclaimer, english is not my first language:)
are you real?
Love a first sight is a myth until... it isn't.
Winning your first case feels amazing until… it doesn't.
For Harvey Specter, a gambler, winning has always been everything. He can't live without a triumph, without feeling that his chips are up. If you ask him what his greatest victory has been, the answer will always be her.
It's funny how she was the one who took the first step over and over again, but that's just the way they work. She's good at giving orders, and he's good at taking them. Maybe that's why he didn't hesitate to hire her in the first place. He just listens to her.
That's the same reason they got married a month after meeting each other.
Some say things are ruled by destiny. Some say a relationship's honeymoon phase isn't a good time to propose to that person, but Donna Paulsen is not predictable. She is way more of what you should expect from life. She is fire, she is her own energy. She makes her own rules for the book of Donna, and she faithfully lives by them.
They were sitting at table number thirteen of the newly opened Italian restaurant, Del Posto. It was a casual celebration dinner after winning their first case together.… with the help of Cameron Dennis, a problem for later. It was a normal dinner, with normal conversation, normal careless flirting. However, there was so much more to it.
"So…" Harvey looked at her.
"So…" Donna diverted her eyes.
"We should get out of here, don't you think?" He asked, feeling bold. Seeing her devour that tiramisu was doing things to him. He couldn't care less about the consequences when she was in front of him looking that good.
"Harvey, I don't sleep with men I work with." She said her usual slogan. She was getting used to this constant tango, not that she was annoyed by it. She found it very sweet, and kind of amusing. So far, she has been the only thing he hasn't been able to win. She could notice -as she usually does- that it was eating him inside being so close to her without the right to touch her. It was driving him to the edge adding a special thrill to their connection.
"You're fired." That sentence was him being his usual cocky self. However, Donna could see beyond his façade. He was serious.
"No, I'm not." She gave him a grin mirroring the one on his face; he needed her way too much.
"Yes, you are." He moved closer to the point that she had to take a little jump back with her chair. "Just come with me, and after that, you decide, no hard feelings." They were so close. She was getting dizzy, feeling his energy flying through her system, invading her, taking control of her. He didn't even have a finger on her; at that moment she started to wonder.
What else could he do?
Donna taking her sweet time thinking about his proposal made him so nervous. Maybe he crossed the line too far. "If that doesn't work, we go back to the way it was." He said to give her more options and to be sure she didn't pick his least favorite alternative.
Honestly, she didn't want to leave him, but they needed boundaries. She knew they could be either something really great or really tragic. "Deal." And he knew it too.
The answer to her question came later that night. He could do everything she wanted the number of times she needed it. And he was damn good at it. He was able to read her body like no one before. It was as if they had done it before, he knew where and how to touch. He used the necessary amount of strength with the required delicacy. That night he worshiped her body with devotion. He unlocked something she thought was long forgotten inside her, desire.
They were cuddling in bed, savoring the aftermath of another great release. "We should do this more often." He started caressing her hair, picturing the life that was ahead of him with her by his side.
"After that, I should marry you." She said it so playfully. So careless. He shouldn't have taken it seriously; nonetheless, he did because that's what he wanted, and he always goes after what he wants.
"I do…I mean, let's do it." He was stumbling with his words so much that she laughed. "Donna, I'm serious. We should do it." His tone was straightforward and brave. She raised her head to meet his eyes, scouring for any kind of hesitation or doubt in them. She didn't find any. He wasn't looking for anything; somehow, he found an ocean of uncertainty in hers.
"Harvey, this was lovely, but I'm not marrying my boss. Let alone someone that I met a month ago." She made a move to get out of bed, but he pulled her back to his arms. Not that she put any resistance to it.
"Then marry the love of your life." She was petrified. It was too much. Resting her head in his chest, she got lost in all the "what ifs?"
What if I don't?
What if I do?
"Donna, you are a very perceptive woman. And if it only took me a month of you working for me to realize that I want to spend the rest of my life by your side, for sure, it took you way less to figure this out." He started stroking her back, trying to calm her nerves, and his. "This is the real deal." His hand searched for hers until he found it tangled up in the sheets, hiding all of her emotions from him.
She looked up to his eyes again. He was laying it all on the table with just love on his intentions. Nevertheless, a woman should be careful of a man who's willing to take such a risk. A woman should always know better. "Harvey, I- I don't want to stop working for you and like hell that I want to be considered another secretary that slept her way to the top."
"Then don't stop working for me. Nobody has to found out." They were now sitting. He grabbed her cheeks, trying to draw her closer to him as if that was even possible. She was putting up a hell of a good fight. "I just need to be sure that you will always be my last hand in the game." Her heart melted. She had never heard him talking like that. She loved it.
"What about our parents? Or Jessica? If you ever want to work for her, you can't keep a secret like that. Like this." She grabbed his hands, tryimg to make him see hrt reasons, but his judgment was clouded. "Harvey," She gulped. "if my dad finds out that I-"
"Hey, hey, we don't have to tell them now. We wait a month or the time you need, and I will talk to your parents." He was focusing his special attention on her hands. He noticed how she was using her index finger to trace invisible patterns on his box bruised knuckles in a failed attempt to place all of her insecurities under his control. "And don't you ever dare to worry about Jessica. I will deal with her. I swear that as long as you come to me, I will deal with what ails you."
Without needing more, she kissed him. "Fine." She said, a little bit fearful, so she took a big breath before speaking again. "We are doing it, but we do it now before I change my mind." She gave him her best Donna Paulsen look, which he returned with his best Harvey Specter look. The deal was done and sealed.
"Now?" He said while she stepped out of bed and began putting on her underwear.
"Yes, now! You are the one who wanted to do it in the first place." She exclaimed. He took a moment to take it all in. This was happening. Perhaps he needed to think about it for a day.
"You are the one who said it!" He screamed making her giggle. She found so hilarious how he was slowly coming out of his dream, reality sinking hard on him. All color seemed drained from his face.
"You don't get to lawyer me with this! You are the one who took it seriously!" Well, she had a point. "So now, get your ass out of bed, find me a belt, and start making some calls to find someone who can tie you to me forever." She said that last part with her best seductive tone. She began looking through his closet.
He quickly got out of bed and started putting on some clothes while thinking, who the hell could he call? "Cameron could- Wait, I know the right person." He was in the middle of putting on his pants when he stopped. "Why do you need a belt?" He asked.
"Because-" She dramatically paused. "You are already taking my dream of a big wedding at the Gershwin Theatre, but you are not taking my dream of getting married in white." She said, leaving Harvey with no other choice than to grab his belt from the floor and turn to look at her with curiosity in his eyes. She was putting on a white shirt that his dad left the last time he visited. He didn't want to ask more questions, so he just gave her the belt. She took it from his hands and instantly adjusted it around her waist. She fixed some of the buttons until somehow, that old shirt looked like a Gucci dress.
He was in complete awe of her abilities. "You're incredible, woman." He was also very moved by that little touch. He didn't give her the chance to get something blue, but he gave her something borrowed that belonged to the man he loved the most in the whole world, that meant so much to him. However, he wasn't going to say that; at the end of the day, Harvey Specter is not very good with feelings.
"I know, now make that call."
"I'm not sure how you convinced me of doing this." Jessica Pearson said. When she pictured her Saturday night, she could've never imagined she would be in court. Well, she could've and had done that multiple times, but she could've never imagined she would be the witness at Harvey Specter's wedding.
"I didn't; she did." He shrugged. Convincing Jessica took more than just a simple phone call, Donna and Harvey had to go to her house, present their case and wait until Jessica drafted a whole document in a couple of minutes before the three of them would make it to where they were. Outside Judge Montgomery's office.
"To be fair, I didn't expect her to sign the prenup," Jessica said very skeptically. She felt like this whole night was a fever dream.
"Yes, you did." The newly engaged couple said in unison.
"Yes, I did," She defeatedly admitted. "but don't blame me. If I was going to waste this favor, I needed to be sure that this wasn't some drunk decision." Could you blame her? She cares about Harvey in a weird maternal way. She will always want to protect and prevent him from committing her mistakes. "I was saving it for my own wedding." As if she wasn't a divorced woman.
"With whom? Hardman?" Jessica gave him a death glare that he completely ignored. "Also, you made that very clear when you made us blow some air in your face." He said while grabbing his bride-to-be by the waist. "And when you asked me if I at least knew her and my social security number." Donna let out a little laugh. They looked at each other, sharing knowing glances. On their way to Jessica's house, they played twenty questions to fill each other -better said, to fill Harvey- with all their relevant information. As expected, the redhead already knew everything he shared with her.
Jessica turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. Are you kidding? "Donna, if you are having second guesses, you can leave."
Donna took Harvey's hand, the hand on her waist, and intertwined their fingers. "Sadly, I don't back down from any challenge." She looked at him in the eyes. She could see how much of a challenge he was going to be. Nevertheless, at that moment, it felt so worth it.
Jessica smiled proudly at the couple. "Fine, now you two, wait here. I'm going to get inside to get your paper. Once I give it to you, you sign it, and that's it. I don't want to hear your vows. It's very late, and at least one of us has to do actual work tomorrow." She knocked on the door and got inside her college friend's office.
The couple looked at each other in the eye for the thousand time in the night. That was their last Are you sure? moment before it was too late.
Harvey grabbed Donna's chin. With his thumb, he gently caressed her face. "If we do this, we can never go back." She spoke with shakiness in her voice.
"Good, 'cause I don't want to go back." He responded with the strength she needed.
They leaned into the best kiss they will ever share in their life together. Nothing could ever compare to this moment. That kiss was their first unspoken 'I love you', and their last moment as separate people. From now on, they were one. Tied together by a promise, something bigger than a piece of paper, smaller than a silver ring. Together, they will never go back.
"Let's do- Come on! I told you no cheesy shit while I'm here." Jessica came out of the office with the papers in hand. She acted annoyed, but she was actually very moved by the scene. Maybe this was the right thing for Harvey. Maybe, this woman, who she met two hours ago, is just what he needed and what she has been trying to teach him. This woman will make him human.
They broke the kiss because they couldn't hold their laughter.
God, these fools are really meant to be. Jessica thought. "Just sign this so I can go." The couple started looking for a pen like maniacs. Jessica rolled her eyes and pulled one out of her purse. "I don't get paid enough."
Harvey took the pen out of Jessica's hand. "Actually, you will be paying me." Without further to do, he signed.
"And me." Donna signed.
The three of them looked at each other for a moment. "God, Harvey, you can now kiss her. I have to go. See you in three years." She was about to go when she stopped and turned around. "And please, don't forget this-" Jessica pointed to her purse, the place where their marriage license was waiting to be filled. "This isn't the only document you signed." She walked away.
Being married isn't easy. That's not new. It requires compromise, which is not a problem for Harvey Specter, who is willing to do anything in his power for the woman he loves. Even if those conditions can sometimes drive him crazy.
She knew that he is a workaholic. She was ready to be the top and second priority. However, all he wanted was to be present. He wanted to be a better partner than his father and a better husband than his mother. But how do you balance a great career with being there for your wife? Easy, weekly lunch dates. The lunch hour is not too early or too late, perfect for communication and discretion.
Harvey arrives home just in time. They had leftovers from yesterday's dinner, neither of them wanted to throw those away, so they decided to have lunch at home. They usually have these dates in restaurants, but sometimes, they need their home.
He dropped his jacket and keys on the counter before greeting her with a kiss. She was waiting for him in the kitchen, reheating their food. "Hi." He says after their lips part.
"Hi, mister." She gives him a tiny smile. "If you don't want me to burn anything, please, move." Donna Paulsen was great at many things. Hell, she was very good at everything except one thing, cooking. She always feels so out of control in the kitchen, and he comprehends that, so he moves aside and starts setting up the table.
He knows her so well that he is very cautious before initiating a conversation he would rather have at home than in the office. "So…Mike's taking a case."
"That's his job." She says while putting the tomato soup bowl in the middle of the table.
Harvey takes a seat and pours some soup into the cute pottery that Jessica gave them for their fourth wedding anniversary. "It's a whistle-blower case." He cautiously glances at her. She is already sitting at the table enjoying her lunch, looking fabulous while eating it, as usual.
"I know, just as I know that you told Jessica that you don't take vacations 'cause you don't have a good reason for it." She responds with an unlikely bitterness in her tone. She shouldn't be -and she usually isn't- affected by this. Somehow, that comment woke up a long-lost fear about their relationship not being good enough for him.
Damn that D.A.'s office.
He is in trouble. "Donna, did you want me to tell her the real reason?" And he loves trouble. He doesn't see the harm in adding a little bit of sass.
She takes a sip of her white wine before answering. "You could've texted her." She goes back to get her food, pretending indifference.
He laughs at her comment. Abruptly, he stops. He notices how she is playing with her glass.
Your hands will always tell me more than a thousand words. "Donna, what I said is true. I don't have any good reason to leave your side." He says sweetly.
She looks at him in the eyes. You can do much better than that. They begin a typical starring contest. They usually do this in their less serious disagreements until one of them gives in. This time, he chooses to give in.
"Fine, I'm sorry." He says very much defeated.
"And?" She raises her eyebrow to match her annoying attitude.
"And I shouldn't have said that." She lowers her face and raises her eyebrow even more. "And I will make it up to you." Donna Paulsen 1, Harvey Specter 0.
"How?"
"When is Mike is done with his case, and Jessica leaves for Paris, I will take a few days. I will take you on some actual vacations." Honestly, he had been thinking about it since Jeff came into his office to ask him permission. If the managing partner thought that now was the time to lay low a little bit, why shouldn't he give his loved one some of his time too?
"And?"
"Don't push it."
She finally laughs, feeling victorious. "Okay, fine, but really? The last time we went out of town was for our tenth anniversary." Neither of them cared about anniversaries that much. An expensive gift and a dinner were more than enough. However, ten years together deserved to be celebrated. They went to London for a week with the excuse that Harvey had some firm business with his long-time friend, Scottie and that Donna just took that time off. In reality, they enjoyed that time falling more in love with each other and with the British culture. Both of them had an inexplicable attraction towards British things. "Also, you do realize that with Jessica and you being gone, Louis would be in charge of the firm?"
He gulps at that thought. "Well, he's a big boy with a seat at the adults' table, and Mike and Rachel would be there to clean up his shit for him and also Paul Porter."
"You are serious about this, aren't you?" He grabs her hand. He carefully draws imaginary circles around her knuckles to calm her nerves.
"We have been married for almost thirteen years; I think it's time we start doing some married people stuff." He gives her that look that made her marry him in the first place. That look had some crazy power on her. She was in complete wonder. "So, what do you say?"
"Yes, once Mike is done with the case," She nods. At that moment, it became easier to think that she would do whatever it takes to help the kid with this case.
"Harvey, what are you doing at 3:30 this afternoon?" Donna says while entering his office.
He looks so cute when he's working.
"Why?" He says irritated.
She walks to his desk with her best innocent face. "I have some news, and I don't want you to overreact."
"What is it?" She guessed the face didn't work. Her great intuition can perceive a very harsh vibe coming from him.
"Jeffrey Bender wants to meet with you." That makes him look up from his documents. "He heard we're taking a whistle-blower case, and he wants us to drop it."
He took a second to process the news before responding. "Relax, I'll take care of Jeffrey Bender." He goes back to his work as if that comment means nothing.
"Wait a second; you're not gonna try to cut Mike's legs from under him before he even gets started?" Her dear husband is a great man, a great man with a nasty habit, the habit of messing with the business of people he cares about if he thought fit. Sometimes -for not saying every time-, he wouldn't even let the person know.
"What's the point? He'd just bother me until I agreed not to anyway." He says with an oblivious tone that leaves her in shock. Her usually blind boss, her stubborn husband, is finally seeing a situation clearly. Sadly, that's not what she needs right now. She needed this to be over soon. Either way for the first time in years, Donna Paulsen is speechless. "I can't believe it. You have no idea what to say." He is delighted by how much she seems to be struggling with thinking of a good comeback. Her silent babbling is so adorable to him. "What's the date today? I want to write this down." Harvey gives her one of his best smiles since she met him. Any other day, she would've given in to his charms, not today. Today she is embarrassed.
"You know what?" She steps way too close to his desk. "It's the seventh of kiss my ass, and tomorrow is the eight of you are sleeping on the couch tonight." She whispered that last part before turning around, too mortified to keep with that conversation.
"Is that the Mayan calendar?" There's no way she's going to do that. He thinks.
"Nope, that's the Donna calendar." For the first time in her life, without more to say, she leaves his office.
"I got you. For the record, I got you." He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He takes it out to read the expected text he got from her: The only thing you got was another night in the too fucking hard couch that you decided to buy even though I told you not to. He loved this woman way too much.
"So, last night, not bad for the couch guy?" He says with his characteristic cocky grin adorning his face. After her little rant, it was unbelievable that he is waking up next to her, but what could he say? He is a very good lawyer. He knows how to defend himself. Still, he bought a better couch, just in case.
They are completely tangled, so lost in each other, it was one of those times they have a hard time knowing what belongs to who after being one for so long. He was an excellent lawyer.
"Not bad for the couch guy, a little bit regular for my husband." She gives him a quick kiss on the lips before getting out of bed to start their day. Donna is aware that if one of them didn't move in the next few seconds, she will have to pretend that she scheduled him a morning meeting for today a week ago, the third one this week.
"Regular?" His ego sounds so hurt. Donna Paulsen 2, Harvey Specter 0.
"If I always tell you how awesome you are, you are going to stop putting any effort into it." She is in underwear, going through her clothes, trying to find that particular dress that she knows will keep him distracted all day.
"I'm just going to take the compliment." He walks to the closet, just right by her side. He strongly grabs her by the hips to break the space between them. They stare at each other finding eternity in the eyes of the other.
This is the kind of love that they promise you in the movies. Unconditional, mind-blowing, passionate, and a lot of long words type of love. It's funny how they found it, remarkable how they kept it so pure. However, every time he looks into her eyes, he sees the man he wants to be, and every day he spends on this earth, he tries to be that man, just for her. Ironically, all she wants is his hand to hold, his support. She doesn't need Batman. She needs Bruce Wayne.
He keeps getting closer and closer to her until he can't. Their noses are touching, her arms are around his neck, and his hands are massaging her hips. "Harvey…"
"Yes, Donna?" At this point, he is kissing her neck, temptingly using his fingers to play with her bra straps.
"I need a favor…" She says almost like a whisper. So breathy, so full of the quickly increasing passion in her body.
"Anything you want." While he is taking his time devouring her neck, his hands are starting to travel down her body. She is shaking. She is having a hard time thinking, but she needs to do this. Their relationship needs this.
"Don't crash Mike's meeting." And there it goes, his morning fire.
"Damn it, Donna, I can't have him risking our other business." He doesn't step away, but he does make room between them moving his hands to her waist.
"You said anything I wanted." He gives her a look that she decides to ignore. She decides that the best way to deal with this is by trying to be convincing with her hands. She makes sure to trace every muscle in his arms before speaking again. "Come on, it was one client, and you covered it." She leans in to kiss him, but he moves, breaking any contact she had with him. Running away from her eyes, he begins looking for his outfit for the day.
"If he drags this to trial, it will be every client." Here we go, she thinks while putting his favorite blue dress on.
"You don't know that." She turns around to give him her back. He doesn't have the right to enjoy the view until she gets what she wants.
"Yes, I do." She didn't ask, but he can play her game as well. He carefully brings her zipper all the way up. He loves the idea of being the only one who could dress and undress her. He also loves the idea of teasing her, perhaps dragging his fingers through her back will make her side with him.
She trembles with his touch, but she doesn't give in. "Then trust him to accept that on his own." She turns around and grabs him by the shoulders, so they are face to face.
"Donna." He says accusatively.
"Harvey, when are you gonna let him be his own man?" He escapes from her grasp, interrupting her speech.
"His own man? He's out of control! He's identifying these people with his parents"
"Don't raise your voice at me." She says firmly. She runs her hands through his shoulders to show him that she's not mad. That's why they have rules. They respect each other so much, but they also have very strong tempers that could drive the other crazy. "You're out of control because you can't separate yourself from him."
"Donna, you need to stay out of it before I say something that I might regret." Another version of Harvey wouldn't have been so thoughtful. However, Donna's Harvey was considerate, and he will not lose that over a harmless fight. Her Harvey knows how to pick priorities, and he will always choose her.
"I will stay out of it, but you said you made a mistake not trusting Mike with Gillis Industries." They both allow their guards to go down shortening the distance between them. "I'm telling you, don't make that mistake again." They seal the deal with a kiss. "Please?" She pouts.
Harvey looks at her for a long time. He hates being the one who gives in. But with a face like that, how could he say no to her? "Fine, I'll do it." She traps him in her arms trying to turn her warmth into her gratitude, sharing it all with him.
"But I get a last-minute morning meeting." Donna Paulsen 2, Harvey Specter 1.
