The cockpit of the resistance ship was quiet, nothing but the hum of the ship and the occasional beeping of flight controls and radars echoed through the empty vastness of space. Lights flickered from the control panel, supplying the only illumination to Finn's face. He sat straight in the pilot's seat, a little taller than he normally would, voice feigning some form of confidence while he spoke to no one in particular.
"So, Rey. I was thinking we could y'know, go to the cliffside, maybe throw some rocks around?" Finn outwardly cringed at his own words, shaking his head. "No. No that's stupid." He decided, clearing his throat as he straightened, squared his shoulders, his fingers around the flight controls doing the same motions as though he weren't in fact holding them and subtly jerking the ship aside while he tried a different approach to his phantom companion.
"So, there was something else that I wanted to tell you." His words came out with some form of smooth cohesiveness that time, jerking his shoulders left and right in his new show of confidence. "You know, when we were talking about all of that force sensitive stuff." Another sigh, a dip in his chin as he closed his eyes, one hand rubbing against the base of his skull. "Would it be offensive if I called it stuff?"
He coughed, cleared his throat. One more time.
"Rey, I am telling you right now that I-" And at that, a loud sigh escaped him, recognizing the overexaggerated dip in his tone, much deeper than normal. Leaning his head back, he turned his gaze skyward to the tiled ceiling.
He shrugged, mostly to himself.
Himself, and whatever poor soul had to watch his pitiful display.
"Why do I sound like Kylo Ren?" Finn mumbled helplessly, recounting the instance when Rey had thought that he had been confessing outside of Ben's cell, had told him that while she was flattered, she hadn't been looking for anything.
He'd shot down the assumption immediately, and now he wished that he'd killed two Porgs with one stone and dealt with it all at once. One thing just seemed more important than the other at the time and damn him for having priorities. "You can't compete with tall, dark and handsome. Should just give up and count your losses, Finn."
Seemingly content with that much, he sniffed. "I'm already talking to myself. That's the first step to acceptance."
"Actually, you're talking to me." Poe's voice boomed over the loudspeaker into the confines of the cockpit, recognizing the subtle manifestation of his doubt and lending an ear.
At least he hoped that was the case, as opposed to being a smartass.
As the thought passed, Finn simultaneously jumped in his seat. His hands jerked across the controls, the ship shuddering from the sudden action and while the pilot worked to correct it, his heart pounded in his chest at both the surprise and his own embarrassment that someone had been listening. His cheeks felt hot-they burned with a ferocity actually, and he silently thanked the Force that his co-general wasn't there to see it.
If that was how the Force worked.
"You have been for a while actually." Poe added.
"Yeah, I get it." He scoffed, clearing his throat, leaning to the side of his seat to peer toward the back if just to see that it was in fact actually empty and he wouldn't be the subject of anyone else's entertainment. It was empty, and so Poe was the only one that had heard.
Good.
Except it was Poe.
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
"I'm bringing them back now. Clear me for landing." Pushing the thought of everyone at the resistance laughing at him when he returned, Finn grasped for the controls, hands levitating over certain switches as he gouged their function. While he still wasn't necessarily proficient at flying ships-not like Poe or Rey-he had learned enough to get by. If he could just learn the mechanics, Rey wouldn't have a reason to call him a liar.
Even if he had technically lied at the time.
"Can you have Rey meet me? I'm hoping that she is as excited about these force sensitives as I am. I really don't think that I can do this without her."
There was a pause on the other end, and he entertained the possibility that he'd actually remembered to switch the comm off this time. But Poe's voice eventually lilted through, albeit with more uncertainty than the amusement he'd shown a few seconds before. "That's going to be a bit complicated." He admitted tentatively.
"What do you mean? What's complicated?"
"I'll explain when you land." Finn couldn't protest or demand an answer. The comm clicked off, leaving him alone—for the first actual time—with a befuddled expression and mulling over the different possibilities of why it had to wait.
Was she mad at him? Mad that he left? Did she not want this? He could turn the ship around, and while the children were definitely a big step, he thought the two were ready. There was no Palpatine or Snoke to warp their minds, just a socially awkward previous Stormtrooper and a strong Jedi too stubborn for her own good.
They could do it. With success, he hoped.
"He doesn't sound like that by the way." Poe's voice once again boomed through the speaker, retrieving very much the same reaction from him as before.
He let out a hum of irritation. "Can you-can you stop doing that?"
"Kylo Ren. He doesn't sound like that. Need to sound a little more threatening, talk about the dark side or something." Poe chuckled.
"I'm turning you off now."
"Bye, Lover-."
Finn flipped the switch with his thoughts being his only company now. That, and the drowned out rumbling of the ship as it burst through Crait's atmosphere, surroundings that unfortunately had not been familiar to him passing by in too much of a blur for him to grasp. He hadn't had the chance to take it in since they'd gotten back. All it brought back was the memory of when they'd fought the First Order at that very same place, as opposed to a temporary home.
He slouched back, closing his eyes to revel in the moment before he would land and be subjected to whatever Poe had meant by complicated.
Why couldn't anything ever be easy?
Finn managed to land the ship easily enough, albeit somewhat rocky but it was better than sailing it directly into the resistance base and dying with his curiosities. At first glance, it looked more rough for wear than when he'd left it, like it had been attacked by some freak force of nature.
Was that how the force worked?
He didn't dwell on it, running down the ramp as Poe jogged up to meet him, holding a confidence in that cocky overbearing way that he had when trying not to admit that he was scared or unsure and tried to pass it off with humor instead. "So who talks first, you talk first or I talk-"
That display was all too familiar.
"What did you do?" The way he addressed him was downright accusatory, brow pinched, bracing his hands on his hips and copying the motion that his co-general sported when he was looking to show his authority. Finn wore that same look well, he thought.
"What do you mean what did I do?" Poe barked out an incredulous laugh. "I haven't done anything."
"What did you do? Where is Rey?" Finn pressed.
"She's gone."
"Gone? What-What do you mean gone? Gone as in?"
"Gone as in gone." He repeated, and also clarified. "As in blew a hole in the side of the base and took off with Ben Solo aka Kylo Ren gone."
"Why? She knew that I was bringing back sensitives. She wouldn't just leave." It sounded even more far-fetched the more he repeated it. That she had gone, that she had left when they needed her. It wasn't like her, and he refused to believe it had been of her own accord. "What happened to keeping him here until I got back?"
Poe ducked his head with an expression of guilt. He gnawed at his lower lip. "Well, you see-"
"Poe held a trial and the resistance kicked Ben out." The quiet hum of Rose's voice announced her approach. She looked tired, hair disheveled and out of the confines of the bands she normally pulled it back with, uniform covered in dirt and sediment, shaking her head as though still in disbelief herself. "And Poe interrogated her about Ben with truth serum." She added.
"You did what?" Finn gaped, turning his suddenly lethal glare to his co-general.
Poe grimaced, lips pressed together, closing his eyes to further help him hide away from that truth. "I was trying to make sure that her feelings didn't get in the way of the resistance. That's it." He reasoned. From the amount of protests against exactly that, of course that same reasoning didn't reach him.
He was trying to help him understand.
"Wait." Finn started.
"It's just what I needed to do."
"Feelings. What do you mean feelings?"
Now it was Rose and Poe's turn to look at him in equal bafflement, a pitiful expression on both of their faces. They exchanged one look, equally questioning the other of who would tell him. It was Poe who seemingly lost under Rose's soft glare and harsh jab in his ribs.
"C'mon, man. Don't be stupid. You know what I'm talking about."
"Don't be stupid? How about you don't be stupid. You're the one that ran her off." The crease in Finn's brow deepened.
"You know what, I'll show you the interrogation tape later. The point is that she's gone, and Kylo's gone and they're not coming back. Not willingly." A hand waved through the air, his other hand on his hip as if that was just it.
But that couldn't have been it. Finn didn't want that to just be it.
"And there's also more important things to be worrying about right now." Rose placed herself between them, holding up her arms to block them off. Her height didn't offer much in the ways of a barrier, but neither of the two generals chose to mention it. "Like the base. Look it's destroyed, never mind who would have heard the blast."
"Do I even want to know why that happened."
"Also Rey." Poe answered.
"Of course." Finn took a deep breath, calming his anxiety of now knowing what complicated had meant. It was definitely complicated, but it definitely could have been a lot worse. "We'll just have to bring Rey back. Explain the situation." He decided.
"Were you not listening to Poe?" Rose gawked. "She did this. After all of the poor choices we made," She cast one glance to her right. "No offense. She isn't going to come back. Not without Ben, and we would be back to square one if we brought them both back here again."
It was spoken with an honest sincerity, one that was almost impossible to deny.
Finn was finding it hard to deny, but definitely not impossible. "Alright," He yielded. "Well, what do we do now? Any ideas?"
"We prepare the resistance for our move to Ajan Kloss. Leave nothing behind." Poe backed up, sinking into the leadership role seamlessly from their conversation before. He directed Finn forward, waving Rose over to the ship. "Can you bring the children inside? Get them settled. Finn and I will do the rest."
Rose listened without complaint, putting her hand on Finn's shoulder as a gesture of reassurance. Her eyes flicked between the two men, lips pursed in a thin line as her expression remained neutral, and then her steps took her back in the direction of his ship.
Finn breathed in, and followed right on Poe's heels. "Do we know how long the move is going to take?"
"A few weeks?" Up close, the damage done to the cave was more prominent, one large section of rock reduced to a mere dust pile, coating a lot of the machinery that was housed at the foot of the cave. Something smelled as though it were burning, and by the way the resistance members rushed to and fro-several greeting Finn as they rushed by-they were looking for it too. "Who cares about how long it's going to take if we get the hell off this planet? I don't know about you, but I could stay in a jungle for a while."
Finn couldn't just acknowledge leaving, not so soon after they had settled, not since he hadn't even been there long enough to enjoy. And he couldn't acknowledge just leaving without saying anything, or at least sending a message to Rey.
"What if we leave and Rey comes back here? How will she know how to find us?"
"She's a smart girl, Finn." Poe assured him, but that same assurance was quickly brushed aside and replaced with a generalized frustration instead. He climbed one of the starfighters parked in the main hangar, popping the hatch and sifting through some contents behind the seat. "She'll find us."
"And what if she doesn't?"
"She will." He leaped down from the wing of the ship, tossing a bag into Finn's hands. He scrambled to catch it, holding it close to his chest. "Change into this."
"You're being very optimistic." Finn noted.
"I've been waiting for you to get back so that we could leave. The longer we stay here, the longer we have to get caught by who knows what." A clap on Finn's shoulder, and Poe was moving on with little choice for him other than to follow.
"What would you have done with Ren while we were jumping planet?"
That question was waved off with a dismissive hand gesture. And an excuse. "I've been figuring it out as I go. It would be the same in that instance."
"You were just going to leave him here." Finn stopped.
Poe sniffed, pursing his lip, feet kicking up rock as he paused. He whipped around with a distracted nod, avoiding his line of sight.
"Maybe. But them in here, they're who I'm worried about. Rey's judgement was clouded when it came to him, and he's the reason she blew a hole in our base."
"Yeah," Finn scoffed, disbelieving. "I'll bet that you just provoked her to do that."
"As much as I hate to say it, he is the only reason there weren't any casualties." Running long deft fingers through his hair, Poe sighed in defeat, jabbing a finger into Finn's shoulder. "You want your confirmation for how Rey feels, watch the interrogation video. I'll show it to you." He promised. "Later."
"Why did you feel the need to interrogate her again?"
"I can't even believe you're even surprised right now. Look, he did threaten to kill one of our own."
"I can't believe that I have to remind you that he also attacked him. And from the way I hear it, they weren't exactly given any hospitable treatment." Finn accused him.
Poe grimaced, chewed at the inside of his cheek, looked away and shuffled backward. "And I apologize." He threw his hands out helplessly. "There. Are you happy?"
"If you sounded sincere maybe." Finn shrugged, cocking his eyebrows. "Even just a little bit."
"I didn't want to do that, but I had to be sure."
"Sure of what?"
Poe gave up at that, throwing his hands up. He turned to walk away from him, and folded his hands behind his head, "Just. Watch. The. Video." He droned out every word, each one as equally laced with a frustration as the last.
Finn followed at his heels.
A brief pause carried itself between as they trekked through the main hub of the base, and Finn found himself unable to drop the conversation just yet. Too much had happened, more than he could necessarily wrap his head around.
"Drugged her? Really?"
"Just let it go. It wasn't my proudest moment."
"Rey would probably come back if you gave her an honest apology."
Poe stopped, and whipped around. He rounded on Finn who recoiled back from him, an accusatory finger aimed directly at his face. "You were unsure, too."
"But I trust Rey and now she's gone." He spat back.
"You really wanna do this right now?" Poe challenged.
"Yeah, I really wanna do this right now-ouch!" BB-8 came charging through the resistance base in a sporadic series of beeps and whirrs, barreling straight into Finn's heels, a zap at his ankles causing him to jump.
"At least BB-8 is on my side." Poe noted with a smug satisfaction, at least until BB-8 swiveled his head to look up at him, shaking his mechanical head and beeping disconcertedly.
"Alright, you know what? You were mine first." Poe muttered dejectedly.
BB-8 whistled low, and then once again with more urgency.
"Not now, alright?" He nudged him with his foot, effectively rolling the BB droid back a few inches, and turned on Finn, this time with more calm as the former Stormtrooper rubbed at the sore spot on his leg, straightening and effectively being a couple inches over his friend.
"Look I'm sorry, okay? About Rey, about this, but if you want to ask her nicely to come back after everything, go ahead, but I'm moving everyone to Ajan Kloss where it is hopefully safer."
"Okay, okay." Finn put his hands out, palms facing outward in a show of truce. His eyes wandered off to the side, and then down where Poe tilted his head to better catch the look on his face.
He raised his eyebrows. "Finn?"
"Mhm?" His face shot up again.
"You're still thinking about Rey." Poe confirmed.
"Of course I'm still thinking about Rey."
BB-8 swiveled around their feet, running into the back of Finn's legs. He stumbled forward, nearly dropping the bag, and threw a soft glare the droid's way.
"Alright, listen. We will relocate, cover up our tracks just in case, and then we'll talk about finding Rey." He smiled at the suggestion, as though they were meeting somewhere in the middle, even if one would take vastly longer than the other depending on how far she had run.
"Yeah." Finn yielded, looking up from BB-8. "Yeah, okay. Deal."
"Good." Another clap on the back, a little forcefully and they continued on their path, BB-8 rolling at their side with a series of different clicks, swiveling his mechanical head at them both.
"Listen I'm not proud of it."
"You shouldn't be." Finn agreed.
"It's hard trying to please two sides. If it were you, if it were me gone and you had been left with this choice, would you have kept Kylo Ren?"
"Yes." With a nod, he sounded convincing, definitely convincing himself at least.
"If Rey's opinion didn't count." Poe looked at him through a half-lidded stare.
Finn held the bag in his hands just a little tighter. "What? Yes, still."
"You're a liar." He scoffed.
"Look I can't exactly explain it myself, but something feels different about him, I guess. I don't know what it is, but I don't get the same feeling as before." Something that discerned greatly from when he'd fought him in the snow laden forest, when the two of them had caught each other's eye after he failed to shoot down those villagers. Ben Solo was absent of that murderous intent, an intent that wasn't self defense at least. "And he had every opportunity to do something if he was going to."
"What about Rey?" He went on. "Anything different?"
Finn shrugged. "Just Rey."
Poe seemed to mull that over. He looked away. "Right," One quick flicker of a glance and he moved on. "Well I guess I'm still not ready to accept it. I can't base my opinion on a feeling."
"I spent a lot of time with Kylo Ren in the first order when I was a Stormtrooper. I saw him do things, not good things, and I almost believe Rey. I trust in what she says."
"You said almost."
"I guess like you I'm still holding some kind of grudge."
"You're jealous." Poe realized, cocking his eyebrows with a low chuckle.
"No!" Finn barked out in protest. "This is completely unrelated to that."
"Sure." He rolled his eyes. "I heard what you said on the ship."
Finn's mouth clamped shut, a slight flush taking to his cheeks but at least absent of the fiery ferocity he'd been plagued with on the ship.
With what sounded almost like a screech of frustration, BB-8 rammed himself in between both of them, a loud series of different variations of sounds following the sudden exclamation. He swiveled back and forth, and the two men stopped their conversation to finally look down. Before either could necessarily ask what, BB-8 was already wheeling away, back toward the main entrance of the cave, a strong breeze blowing in, and carrying along with it a large cloud of dust.
The only thing that would carry that strong of force besides a storm-and in his case the Force-was a ship, Finn realized. Poe seemed to recognize it too. They both looked at each other, expressions equal parts as baffled as hopeful before they were bounding back toward the way they came, Finn tossing the bag he'd been thrown to the side for now.
"You might have to rehearse your apology." Finn teased him, already running on ahead after BB-8.
Once outside, a majority of the resistance had already gathered with Rose standing at the very front. Several dozen heads were aimed skyward, a large shadow casting over the resistance and giving it the illusion of night despite the sun casting a harsh glare over top of them that few moments before.
Finn watched from the mouth of the cave as the ship teetered toward the base, at first his legs refusing to move, gulping down air after he realized he hadn't yet taken a breath. Its sheer size blew a gust of wind that made their clothes whip back, whipping with a raging fury while it made its descent. Finn squinted against it, holding a hand up to shield his eyes.
He began to move toward it, a walk turning to a jog, every movement oozing hesitance. Anxiety hovered in the air around him, only escalating into an eerie silence. No one spoke.
It wasn't Rey, but who?
A ramp slid down to dock as the main hatch hissed open. Finn peered between the sea of bodies as he progressed forward, attempting to catch the figure that walked ceremoniously down the ramp toward their small group. Rey didn't wear all black, he thought with a sense of dread. Surely a hostile wouldn't be stupid enough to come to Crait so soon after a war?
Nudging himself to the front-hands passing over several of his friends as he squeezed by-Finn positioned himself next to Rose.
They came face to face with a ghost.
A presumed spy against the First Order.
Dead, last he'd heard.
His expression was none too kind, none too sympathetic or showing that same mercy when he had saved the group from being executed by the First Order. There was something ominous about it, approaching them with soldiers flanking him on every side but the front. A hidden purpose, one that more than likely didn't involve helping them patch the hole in the cave.
Poe pushed through the crowd and flanked his other side, mouth slightly agape and looking just as stunned as Finn felt.
General Hux looked between them with demanding insistence.
"Where isKylo Ren?"
