Finn breathed in, eyes crossed with a raging focus as a soldering iron lingered dangerously close to the other hand that gingerly clutched metal bits and pieces. Holding his breath helped to steady his hand somewhat, but he was acutely aware of how close he was to zapping his wrist. His eyesight was split out of focus, and as he leaned in toward the makeshift handle, hunched over one of the workbenches, a sharp stab against the ball of his palm made him recoil.
Hissing out a slew of curses, he dropped it on the table with a resounding metal clang, the other slamming the iron down to grip at his wrist. He flexed his fingers, sucked in sharply, and then blew a soft exhalation of breath on it only to close his eyes and wait for the pain to subside enough for him to think.
With an exaggerated huff of frustration, he grasped at his face, his elbows sliding across the benches surface until he settled for throwing his head down in his arms, grimacing only to himself about having been ignorant enough to attempt such a feat in the first place.
"You're doing it wrong."
His frown deepened, peeking out from the side of his biceps. "Yeah, well, thank you Captain Obvious. It doesn't have to be this hard, either." He straightened, swiveling in his seat to face Poe in the doorway who more or less looked at him with some form of pity-and a raised eyebrow that begged the question of what he was actually doing without him having to voice it aloud.
"I'm going to say nothing except that you're lucky you haven't burned out your eye." Poe came to stand at his side, perching one hand on Finn's shoulder, peering over him to look at the failure of his current project. "What are you doing?"
"I thought that if I was going to be given force powers that I would need something to fit the role. I looked into schematics, but-" He rolled his eyes, sweeping the contents into a small disorganized pile. "It's a lot more complicated than it looks."
"Being a Jedi isn't a walk in the park." Poe huffed out a laugh. "But you've fought Kylo Ren and you're not dead so I guess that means that you're not completely inept."
Finn turned in his chair again, casting a sweeping stare over the table and looking no clearer than it had the first time. "Ren wasn't trying to kill me. He could have, even when he saw I was a defective trooper, but he didn't."
"Why?"
"I don't know." He lifted the handle to survey it, a mess of cluttered wires and broken switches. "Honestly I'm too afraid to ask."
"Smart man, but maybe pack up your science project for now, huh?" Poe perched on the edge of the workbench next to him, folding his arms. He obscured the device from view, it jutting out from behind him but every attempt Finn made to look, he leaned over just inside his peripherals.
Finn scowled.
"I will, but I can't stay." Rising from his chair, he absent-mindedly squeezed past a dumbfounded Poe-not having to look to know the ferocity of the glare that was being thrown his way, the burning sensation in the back of his skull enough of an indicator.
"What do you mean? Going? Going where?"
"To find Rey."
"Are you still on this?"
"Hux is going to be looking for Ren which means he's going to find Rey." He reminded him for what genuinely seemed like the umpteenth time, or maybe Finn had just reiterated it too many times in order to convince himself. "And I need her to show me how this force stuff works, and the sensitives will need someone with more experience than me."
"You've got this." Poe assured him. When Finn turned, he could see the look of determination in his friend's eyes, the confidence that he held in him. For him. "Rey isn't going to come back without Kylo, and the resistance won't take Rey back with him. It's not going to end well."
"I'm at least going to talk to her. If nothing else plead my case and see what she says." He decided. "I don't know what I'm doing, and I think that if I did, I could've done something about Hux. If there is a new order building itself, Rey deserves to know about it. We just ended a war."
"We're probably the last ones to know about the New Order."
"No. He's determined to see Kylo dead. I think that was his first move, and making sure everyone knows that he killed the previous supreme leader is how he's going to stay in control." He whipped around, his project forgotten-not that he was making much headway with it anyway-and made for the hall.
Poe followed him. "You think?"
"You've seen Hux. Do you really think that anyone would be afraid of him?"
"Good point."
The double doors that led out into the hallway hissed with their exit, the calmness of the morning overcast by the heaviness of their current situation. Finn couldn't shake it. Not like Poe who was trying his damned hardest to pretend like everything was fine.
Every single battle they'd fought, every ship that had nearly-or had actually-crashed, every single inch that they'd grown closer to death? Child's play. Stand up and brush it off.
Talking with Rey while she was with Kylo Ren Impossible, apparently.
The transition from Crait to Ajan Kloss had gone seamlessly as far as the resistance had been concerned. They slipped back into a normal routine, and Finn and Poe hadn't needed to offer any source of direction as far as actually telling them what needed to be done.
Fortunate for Finn really. He wasn't in the right mindset to organize patrols or address the current militant state of the galaxy. If Hux was looking for Ren, they still had some time, and that was what urged Finn to go to the small broom closet that had passed as his room, a secluded box grouped with many more secluded boxes that housed the barest essentials and the only privacy being a small curtain that didn't actually offer much privacy.
He tossed a bag onto his bed, stuffing what little he had inside of it and throwing it over his shoulder. It wasn't much-considering he left the majority of it back on Crait and Rose had been kind enough to grab some of the basic necessities, but the thought of leaving struck him with a sudden sense of guilt.
Leaving them behind. Walking away after everything they had given him since he had abandoned his position as a Stormtrooper. It was eerily similar and ironic considering who he was leaving to find had done the exact same thing. Even the reasoning behind it still held the basic concept, and the fact that Finn had slid by while they threw all of their grief on Kylo Ren.
Finn hadn't killed as many people, no, but he was still an accessory in some way.
Shaking his head, he looked around the room with one more finality to his last second decision. Turning, Poe still stood in the doorway, cocked eyebrow, ever irritating as always. This time, his eyes only held a basic understanding; basic comprehension.
By some divine power, for once he didn't argue. "I'm not going to say that you're betraying me right now, but you're betraying me right now." Poe sniffed, drawing his lower lip between his teeth.
Finn shook his head, gently shoving past him out into the empty hallway. Nonetheless, he kept his voice low while his companion was much louder. "Grow up."
"You're also betraying yourself. You already know what her answer is going to be." Poe retorted, walking along at his heels and acting like a bug in his ear that he could swat at but wouldn't leave.
No, he couldn't be that lucky.
"I won't know if I don't try." Finn stopped, the suddenness causing Poe to walk directly into his back, his nose pressed against his shoulder blades, taking a few steps back to put a much needed space between them as Finn whipped around, his temper flaring. "I can do this by myself. I don't need you telling me what to do, okay?" He uttered low, ducking his head as if that would help obscure their conversation more.
Curious passersby looked, but none seemed wary of their conversation.
"Really?" Poe's eyebrows shot up-after giving a forced smile to one of their members in particular and acknowledging them with a nod before he addressed Finn again-something told him that he would somehow be right in whatever world Poe had deemed he was always right. "Like how to build a lightsaber?" His tone practically oozed challenge. "How to fly a ship? I can only teach you one of those things."
He was actually right about that.
Finn's frustration rivaled any cohesive statements that Poe may have had.
"If you had just-if you hadn't-"
"If I hadn't what? Betrayed Rey? Just say it."
"Betrayed Rey-"
"Rey did this to herself. She didn't have to leave. You weren't here and you just saw what you wanted to see." He snapped through grit teeth, standing so close that Finn had to duck his head, his gaze sweeping over the ground. Only because in a way Poe was right, and Finn wasn't going to let him actually see the realization that was likely etched all over his face.
"I don't need you talking me out of it."
"I'm not trying to talk you out of it. I'm telling you to let me come with you." Except Poe wasn't asking for permission, leaving no room for Finn to actually refuse. "Let Rose come with you." He shuffled in a bit closer, one hand tapping against his abdomen as he nodded his head toward the technician's bay where Rose had claimed as home. "It'll be a wasted effort, but you're not doing this alone."
"What about the Resistance?"
"They can handle things long enough for Rey to reject you and for us to get back."
Finn nodded sarcastically with an equally sarcastic smile, straightening stiffly into his full overbearing height. "I'm glad you have faith in me." He mumbled.
"If Rey will listen to anyone, it'll be you."
"Finn?"
She was soaking wet, her hair disheveled and flyaway strands plastered to her forehead, the fabric of her robes soaked and sticking to her frame, threads fraying and coming apart. She wasn't the only one that looked worse for wear.
Yet she also seemed strangely rejuvenated.
But she also didn't look as happy as he'd thought she would have, suddenly feeling apprehensive about his plan as a whole.
Part of him was thankful that he had instructed Poe to stay on the ship while Finn traversed an unknown planet looking for them, otherwise he would surely be subjected to the I told you so that would come directly after the rejection. He wasn't entirely sure that he could deal with that underneath the current circumstances. "I need to talk to you," he began, eyes flicking uneasily to the side where Ren stood-a shirtless Kylo Ren he had only just noticed.
Finn shifted his weight from foot to foot, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. Maybe it was the way that Ren looked at him-as if he was waiting for a reason to consider Finn a threat -or his protective stance next to Rey that made Finn want to back out and turn home. He stood his ground, adding more tentatively. "Alone."
Rey hesitated at his request, lips parting and closing. Fortunately, and with great reluctance, she turned to Ren and jerked her head toward the opening to the overhang. "Could you give us a minute please?"
"Sure," He mumbled tersely, disappearing out from the overhang and climbing back up the slope.
The two waited in agonizing silence-Rey letting out an exhausted exhalation of breath-until they were sure it was only the two of them, and no sooner than they had been positive that he was out of earshot did he finally go to speak, preparing to ask the most obvious question: will you come back?
"No."
Oh.
He deflated. "You didn't know what I was even going to say."
"I didn't have to." She moved further back into the overhang, her shoulder pressed against the wall. "What are you doing here, Finn? How did you find us?"
"Poe had your ship pinged." If looks could in fact kill, Finn would have been dead, brought back, dead, and brought back again just to inevitably be on the receiving side of her spear. Watching her face pinch into a deeper scowl, he quickly continued, holding up his hands, palms out both as a truce and a sure sign of surrender. "That's not why I'm here. We weren't following you, not initially and we're not looking for the two of you because of Ren-"
"Ben." She corrected.
"We were looking for just you. I need your help."
"I can't help you." Rey's jaw set, crossing her arms with a helpless, defeated shrug. "And I can't come back." But her eyes flickered with apprehension, and while she may not have been sure at first, he knew that she would at least listen and consider. Really, that was all he needed.
"I need your help with the Force Sensitives." He went on, more desperate, more pleading. "Help me train them, and train me. They'll have a better chance with you."
"I can't." She whispered, almost inaudibly, but he could see the way it dug at her heart, a knot of regret coiling inside of her stomach, something akin to shame. Failure?
"I can talk to Poe." Finn compromised. "We can figure something out!"
"Can we?" She suddenly snapped, fixing him with a hard glare above a tight-lipped smile. There was no sort of joy in her eyes, nothing but a genuine disbelief. In him or Poe, he couldn't quite tell, but he only hoped that her distrust remained on just one of them. "We saw how well it worked out for Ben the first time, didn't we?"
"You can't blame them for being cautious." Finn reasoned "And you can't blame Poe for doing what he thought was best for the Resistance. He did what he thought would make everyone more comfortable while Ren-" Finn caught himself, quickly making a correction before she had time to apprehend him once again for his repeated slip-up. "Ben was transitioning. He carried it too far, fine, but he had good intentions."
"Rose was the only one willing to give him a chance." Rey shot back.
"Because of you." Finn pushed the flaps of his jacket aside, placing his hands on his hips. He ducked his head, voice low. "Let's not forget that the First Order was the reason that her sister-" He paused, his mouth pressed into a thin, tense line.
Rey understood, and he was grateful that he didn't have to finish the rest of it. The sorrow in her eyes was immeasurable, and albeit Rey having never met Paige-hell, neither had Finn-he knew that she would have considered her family all the same.
Neither chose to dwell on it, the moment word to mouth rather than anything they'd had the misfortune to experience, and Finn was already moving on. "Look," he sighed. "I'm starting to understand."
"Understand what?"
"Why Poe is so mad; why the Resistance is hesitating to trust you." Finn looked up just long enough to see his words cut through her like a knife, one jagged line that cut deep and left her looking as if she was about to fall apart. "It's because we all care about what happens to the Resistance more than you do."
She didn't have an excuse, and she couldn't form a quip fast enough to stop his sudden reprimand. "I'm not surprised I'm just…" His tongue clicked behind his teeth, shrugging. "Disappointed."
The arms braced across her chest molded tighter, her lips pulled back in disgust. She switched her weight, and he could see the different variations of an answer flickering in her eyes. "That-"
His lips parted, but she held up a hand. Anxiety turned to anger, and suddenly she rounded on him, eyes narrowed into sharp slits.
"That's low. For you." She spat. "And it's also not true."
He reached for her.
Rey retreated, refusing to look at him now, her arms dropping to her sides in tightly coiled fists as she turned her back. "I'm not sorry for supporting Ben, or for bringing him back to the Resistance. He deserves a second chance like you, and me," she looked down. "And Poe."
"I never said that he didn't." Finn scratched at the nape of his neck, stretching it back with an exasperated sigh. "But it takes time for people's opinion to change, and I just don't know what you were thinking, bringing him back and hoping that we would make a decision in your favor."
But Finn hated that he couldn't stay angry at her, and that with just one look, she gave him all of the excuses she would ever need to justify her reasoning for anything.
Maybe his judgement concerning Rey was clouded, but it wasn't something that he would consider changing.
Rey swiped at her nose, sniffling in the dark. Her eyes were strained, fluttering underneath a watery sheen.
And that only made him feel worse.
"It didn't matter what I was thinking. I just wanted to help Ben. I wanted to do what I promised General Organa." She struggled to meet his eyes despite his attempts to catch them, turning his head but that only seemed to make her shy away more. A frustrated growl rumbled in her throat. "I don't know."
"Come back to the Resistance with me. We will talk to Poe, and it won't be easy, but you have to give us time to try. A chance; that's all I'm asking for."
"Poe couldn't come and tell me that himself?" She challenged. "Does he even know you're here?"
"He's waiting on the ship with Rose. He's not thrilled, but he's willing to try if you will." Finn offered a smile, subtle but genuine. One of the few he'd managed the last few days considering the absolute chaos he'd walked in on and suddenly played the mediator for. "He's also been trying to put together an apology." And he had. Finn had heard the first few while manning the co-pilot's seat and while they weren't the best, and had some variation that Poe was still right, it left a warm feeling in Finn's chest that his friend at least considered his suggestion.
"Is that why you're riding around in First Order ships now? Was that part of the apology?"
His features pinched in confusion. "What?"
"I saw the ships," Rey declared with firm but disdainful conviction. "They were First Order models."
"Oh," Finn mumbled, wide-eyed. "Oh, no." He cursed underneath his breath, eyes squeezing shut as his hands came up to grip his skull. Of course, of course they had been followed.
"What's going on?"
Finn whipped around, his tone hushed, eyes warily glancing around for any sign of Ren. Or anyone else who very well could have eavesdropped. A new sense of urgency took over him. "It's a lot to explain, but Hux is back and he's taken over the First Order. It's called the New Order now, which is actually a very bad name, but-"
"The First Order is being revived?" Rey blinked, her head dipping forward. Not that she actually needed help to hear him. The truth had rung out clearly.
"Yes," Finn gasped. "And he's looking for Kylo Ren-" He mentally kicked himself, but thankfully she looked too perturbed by the revelation to apprehend him for it again. "He wants him dead, and he knows that the two of you didn't die on Exogol."
"Oh."
"He would be safer on his own, Rey."
"He would be safer with us." Her lips were parted, soft and vulnerable with her own rising doubt.
"Okay, maybe." He relented, bracing his arms out on either side of him. "What if Hux finds us again, huh? We got lucky once, but I came to find you before he did. I can negotiate with Poe, and we can figure out something but we don't have a lot of time so I need a decision from you now."
"I just don't think-"
"Right now."
"Will Ben be treated like a prisoner?"
"I don't want that, but you have to let everyone cool off. They're freaked out with everything as it is. If you want to come find him later, have him wait a few weeks until we can explain to everyone and make arrangements we will, but I need you to come back with me." More tentatively, he added. "I'll do what I can, I promise you."
Her features folded over, hesitant, her eyes flickering around their surroundings as if something in the environment would help offer up an answer.
Yet, there was no more ambiguity about what it was that they had to do, no more seesaw of balancing one particular element over the other, rather a purpose was laid out before her, and Finn would even be so brazen as to admit a destiny.
The only question was what happened from here at this moment. Watching her fumble and grasp for thoughts and answers, he didn't quite know what that would be.
Rey caught him with a hardened stare, and a newfound resolve.
"Okay."
