My name is Sarumei Hebiyama, rank Kinoe, Taurus, favorite food is Ochazuke, breath is Stone breathing, cultivator is Suzue Hisaishi of the Kuroya woods. Hotel Trivago.

I'm the straightforward kind of girl with a great sense of humor. Unfortunately men won't pick up on it. Women on the other hand, seem to love it. Not to brag or anything.

Guys be missing out.

Of course you guys are here to hear me talk about a peculiar event in the woods near that suburban mountain. Alright, before I spill the tea, please know my actions were pardoned by Ubayashiki Kagaya, so don't be cancelling me for sparing demons, ok?

Because that day was when I realized, even among demons, the whackest shit can happen.

It started when I knocked out the dude clean. Like, real clean. Mr Clean clean. Restaurant tables during COVID clean. Lesbian eyebrow slit clean.

So obviously that nutso wasn't gonna be a problem. Problem is, his two demon kids then decided to use my distraction as an advantage and gave me two kicks to the face and shin and then went loose.

Great. If I wasn't going by the Corps code, I would have made no attempt to save that nutso. I really didn't want to prevent them from mauling him, kill them and then have him blubber and blame me for their death. Hell he might even plan to murder me in revenge.

But alas, I am a demon slayer. So I have to save humans or at least attempt to, even if they are nutsos.

"Alright, time to give these shits an ass-kicking." I brandish my spade, ready to lop their heads off. And I raise it to swing at them, until I realize something totally off.

Normally at this point the demons would claw at the humans, sniff them in preparation for their meal. They're not very picky, even when a slayer's around. But these two are not doing either.

No no no, I must be seeing things. I knew those anmitsu edibles were bad for this job.

I rub my eyes again.

What the hell is this.

The brats are standing over this asshole. They're not going for the meat at all, and they're bristling at me as if they can even scare me. Yeah right. There's that taller one with the blue necklace who even dared to snap at me, earning him a stern point of my blade. His bluff is so earnest it's almost funny.

The girl is a bit more pathetic. She can't be much older than 5 and yet is swiping at me. I've seen child demons before but this case really does sort of make me sad. I can't imagine what being a demon must do to a four year old's head.

Wait...how long has it been?

At this stage they should have eaten him, I think I've been frozen by my own astonishment for a good few minutes.

What are they waiting for?

Do they think I'm a demon who's going to eat them and are guarding their prey?

Or perhaps...no...that's ridiculous. Yeah, that was the first thing I thought.

It's stupid to think they're trying to protect him.

I've see so many people who insist their precious family member would not hurt anyone and then almost get mauled to death. I've seen enough to know this can't be true. What I'm seeing has to have a reason.

"Ah, fuck it just do the job Sarumei!" I grunt to myself. I'm going to kill these kids regardless. This whole family is full of nutcases and I'd really want to be done with dealing with them.

Now if the two hovering over that dude and growling was a weird enough sight, imagine, as I raise my nichirin blade at them, seeing something even more mind blowing and making me think the edibles are still in my system.

I raised my blade.

I look down.

That boy is still growling at me and stubbornly standing his ground.

The girl has her arms covering that man's head, as if she's trying to... protect it!?

Look Sarumei, I think, even if they are merely saving him for later, this higher cognitive behavior is rare for a demon that's just been turned. Killing them could mean wasting an opportunity to study what's going on. We could find out if they're evolving faster, if that could be a problem.

I'll send them to Hisaishi-san. She knows more than me, so she might find out what to do.

The bigger one has decided he's had enough, cause he's coming right at me. Too bad, kiddo. This is like a toddler trying to fight their teenage sibling. A nice little crack on the neck will do him in. And...there. Out cold. Like I like my whiskey. Pfwish.

Now, with the girl.

Oh don't growl at me. Just because I knocked out your brother(?) doesn't mean I'm some baddie. I grabbed at her, only to be dodged. Her smallness is working to her advantage. Great. Like trying to catch a hissy kitten by the scruff.

"C'mere girly." Finally got her by the hair, but she was sure not easy to hold down. Man, I never knew a four year old could be so rabid. Took I think 3 hits to do her in? Come on, don't look at me like I'm cruel or anything, she was making it hard for herself.

Ok. Demon children taken care of. Now for that nutso. The Kakushi I called for should be here...any minute now.

About the nutso, the hell happened to this guy? I guess I shouldn't have been so nonchalant because now looking closer, I can tell he's seen some shit, so he obviously wouldn't have reacted well to my suggestions. Yeah, great call Sarumei to casually tell him his family's gonna die. Wait a minute, didn't he say something about seeing a demon die earlier today? That might explain that huge gash on his head. Poor sod must have been attacked and taking his kids to safety.

Now I remember. There was an alleged demon attack earlier, wasn't there? 7 children were found dead in a temple and 3 occupants reported missing in the demon-infested mountain next to here. Could these three be...?

Lucky bastard must have escaped with those two. But not before it managed to hurt them.

There's something else weird here. When I got there, it was reported no demon was found in the house by other slayers. So that leaves a few possibilities: 1. It's still out here and it's following them. But this is half an hour from the temple. Are you telling me it couldn't have caught up in half an hour? Everyone knows demons are stronger and faster than humans. It could have hunted them down easily. 2. Someone got to it before me. But we would have gotten a report from the crows that it's slain, right? 3. It got burned by the sun. There was a sunny spell earlier, maybe when they got away it chased them and burned away.

Ok, option 3 is the most plausible. This dude managed to fracture my wrist, so it wouldn't be too unbelievable if he managed to fend it off with furniture or a blunt object, then get away with the children. Right?

My thoughts were interrupted by a rustle in the trees. Ah, finally, she's here.

"Hey Babe."

"This is a work situation."

A Kakushi jumps down and pulls out some disinfectant and wound dressing. "What happened here?" She started to bandage up his head. "Yeesh, that's bad. Did a demon do this?"

"He was running with that injury, so I assume it got him there. The bruise is from me."

"That was excessive force, this man can't be more than 60 kg."

"He fractured my wrist by gripping it. Don't underestimate this dude."

She moves down to examine the blood on his hands.

"Hey, take a look at this." She gestured to me.

"What?"

"I've never seen this before. There's demon blood. Not his, the demon's. Must have gotten on when he was struggling with it."

"Yeah? Could have hit it with a knife or chair."

"But look at his knuckles." She held his hand to me. "They're raw and bruised. Obvious repetitive trauma. You following?"

"Man I'm still winding down from that edible. I used all my brainpower to think about why the demon's gone."

She sighs at me, disappointed. Yep, just another day of letting Hirako-chan down.

"Listen you junkie, I don't care if you're a Kinoe. You're gonna fucking listen to me. This is just about why the demon's gone."

"Oh? Why is that? Please lend me your enlightening theory." Ok, I just can't help smirking. She's real cute when talking back. Don't look at me weirdly! I see y'all looking at her legs all the time, you hypocrites.

"His fists are messed up and demon blood's on them, because that's what he used to fight it. Basically he beat the shit out of it barehanded."

"...fucking hell."

Ok, I've heard instances of humans releasing explosive strength before death or to protect their friends and family, but this is insane. This dude's obviously malnourished. I can see his ribcage rising and falling. He can't be much older than 16 and the rasp in his voice earlier told me he's sickly. There is no way this person managed to fight a demon barehanded. But the evidence of Hirako's observations can't be ignored.

Is he some sort of monster?

He can't be one of them. He's too reasonable and nonaggressive to have been a demon, plus the physical features are entirely human.

This really is a weird trio. I'll need a smoke after this. If Hirako wasn't here with me, I'd think this was some drug trip.

I'll send him to Hisaishi-san as well then. Maybe she can figure out what's up with him.

"Are they..." Hirako tapped me and pointed to the two kids. Oh yeah, I forgot.

"Yep." I took some rope and wrapped it in their mouths. "Demons. but weird-ass ones. So I'm sending them to Hisaishi-san for her to monitor them. Maybe she can find what's up."

"But that's against corps rules."

"Come on, it's for studying the demons. Maybe we can learn something from this, ok? It could be useful. Just don't tell anyone else, k babe?"

"Fine. But if they hurt anyone, I will have them put to death and have you executed as well per Corps policy." She gave a slight bow. "Although the young man has potential. I do wonder what will happen to him."

Just like that, Hirako leaps onto a tree and is on her way.

"Love ya too."

Ah, it seems the nutso's waking up.