-Chapter 101: Ripple Effect-
Location: Coruscant/Barkhesh
"Hidden sin is the source of much fear."
The morning after...
It was hard to open an eye the next morning. After being thoroughly exhausted the night before, the early morning light was more of an unwelcome nuisance than anything. Having not gotten nearly enough sleep, today was destined to be something of a struggle unless remedied by a few more hours of shuteye.
But things needed to happen today. She couldn't stay in bed forever, unfortunately.
Ahsoka slowly opened her eyes with a groan, deeply wishing for a few more hours of sleep. She'd been having the most wonderful dream and really didn't want to wake up.
But then she sensed another body in bed, beneath her to be precise. One eye snapped open and she realized she was on top of Wraith's bare chest and he was still asleep. As her mind quickly drew in more information from her surroundings, Ahsoka realized neither of them were clothed.
It hadn't been a dream after all.
Shifting her weight, the Togruta felt a distinct soreness in her hips. However, it wasn't that unpleasant, as it brought back many reminders from the night before. Those were happy memories she could smile at and remember with distinct fondness.
Her first time... with the man she loved...
The sheets pulled away from her as she rose, sitting up in bed, his warming touch sliding away. Her lover... her man, remained undisturbed. Wraith appeared to still be passed out, lying still beneath her. The Togruta smiled as she took in his tranquil expression, eyes closed and long auburn hair spreading out in dozens of directions. She'd mussed it up pretty good last night, her fingers threading through his locks and sometimes tugging on them as her muscles spasmed from pleasure. A hairless being, Ahsoka couldn't help but be enamoured with hair and Wraith's was especially unique. She was used to seeing beings with one color of hair, not two-tone like Wraith. If not for the shade of red, it likely would've been a very dark brown, not unlike Anakin's or Corsair's. But the hint of red made it unique and special, something only he had.
She reached out to touch it, her fingers gently settling on his scalp as they felt his hair. Look at him, she thought to herself, gazing at Wraith's tranquil expression, he looks so peaceful when he's asleep. For a moment, she considered simply sliding back under the covers and curling up to him. But then she remembered that she couldn't, at least, not today.
Those thoughts were further quelled when Wraith stirred, his amber eyes slowly opening as he awoke. Vision shifting towards her, he softly smiled.
"Hey..." He sleepily greeted. Ahsoka smiled back.
"Hey." She could feel his eyes momentarily roam across her body and revelled in it.
"You sleep alright?" He asked, gradually sitting up as she moved off of him. Ahsoka's gaze couldn't help but be drawn to his muscles, which moved and flexed in time with his actions.
"I did... what little I got, that is." She truthfully admitted. Wraith softly chuckled.
"I know what you mean. Feels like mere minutes..." He replied, taking her hand in his and pressing a quick kiss to the backs of her fingers. "How do you feel?" He asked in a lower, softer tone. It was genuine, he really wanted to know how she felt. if he really wanted to know, they both might be there for a while.
There was simply no one word to pin it down. She felt giddy and ecstatic, she felt nervous yet content, she felt desperate like she was craving more but also like she needed to slow down. There was so much going on all at once and it was both overwhelming and exhilarating.
"It's... hard to describe." She finally replied.
"Then perhaps you shouldn't. Maybe just... savour it instead." Wraith suggested, reaching one hand around her neck as he pulled her closer.
"That's a good idea." Ahsoka hummed just before their lips pressed together. Her sigh of contentment is muffled by the kiss and simple proximity to Wraith is enough to make her feel warm again. It's enhanced by something else, though, something she notices so close to him.
Even though it's the next morning, she can still get a faint scent of what she can only describe as him. It's thick, it's musky... She knows what it is: it's the scent of a man.
It's barely there, its remnants are all that remains, but it's so intoxicating she's tempted to forego returning indefinitely.
A large part of her wanted nothing more than to not go back, wanted to stay with him and go again and again until not even his enhanced stamina could support him. But a small part of her, perhaps the logical part that tried to prevent her from staying the night, told her she needed to stick with her plan. She would miss him terribly, she just knew it. But it had to be done.
And yet there's something else that's bothering her and it's evident on her face when Wraith pulls away.
"What is it?" He gently asked, fingertips ghosting across her cheek. Ahsoka turned to him with questioning eyes, something clearly on her mind.
"Did... Did we go too far last night?" She finally asked. His response was immediate, but silent and barely visible. Ahsoka sensed the disappointment and discouragement flash across his soul, his expression passive despite the sadness he felt. Physically he appeared taken aback, though his reaction was incredibly subtle.
"If you have to question it, we probably did." He quietly responded. Ahsoka could feel his sense of dejection and failure, Wraith believing he was somehow responsible for her feelings. Had he rushed things? Had he pushed her too far? Misread her supposed hints and non-verbal actions? Ahsoka felt bad for him. She didn't mean for him to feel like this. "If you just want to make this a one-off, I'm okay with that." With that statement, Ahsoka finally understood where he was coming from and mentally facepalmed. That hadn't been her intentions at all.
"Wraith, no! No no no that's not what I meant at all!" She quickly said, trying to backtrack and fix her mistake. "I'm not okay with making this just one night. Last night was... it was amazing." She told him, trying hard to express her current feelings. "But... I can't ignore the sense we might've gotten carried away. It's like we just... couldn't stop." Her explanation was lacking, simply because she still didn't have the vocabulary to describe last night.
"So... you're concerned about... our actions." Wraith clarified. "And not... me."
"Yeah. No, yeah, you... you were... just... wow." Ahsoka replied, her sentence broken but enough to get her point across. Wraith chuckled.
"I'll take that as a compliment." He surmised, Ahsoka breathing a sigh of relief. "Let's face it; we're young, eager... and in love. There was some apparent romantic tension between us and... last night was the sudden snap." He stated. "I can tell you right now, that according to all physical and biological understanding, last night was perfectly natural." He promised.
"Okay." Ahsoka nodded, feeling a bit better. "I'm sorry, I should've phrased that better. I-I didn't mean it was bad, Maybe I'm just... you know... still stunned." She pologized, knowing she needed to take some time to work this all out for herself.
It still seemed hard to believe. She'd slept with her boyfriend...
"It's okay. I get it." Wraith emphasized, his arm encircling her shoulders and drawing her close. Using their bond, he transmitted his feelings of assurance and understanding and felt relief in return. This was all a first for him too, though his natural confidence did give him a slight edge over her. "It's okay," he softly repeated, kissing her cheek. Wraith felt a brief pulse of mixed gratitude and adoration sweep through his mind and smiled as he and Ahsoka hugged. Then the Togruta kissed him, tenderly and gently, her way of saying 'thank you'.
"I wish I could stay." She whispered, nose rubbing against his. "But I have to get back to the Temple."
"I understand." He quietly affirmed. But before she did leave, Ahsoka had one more question on her mind that had been bugging her.
"Wraith? You didn't have any sort of, uh... 'protection' I think it's called?" She wondered, still getting acquainted with the terms related to this stuff.
"Uh, no... why?" He asked in reply. Given his answer, and their activities last night, Ahsoka felt stark fear shoot through her as her eyes locked with his.
"...I didn't either." She quietly revealed. It took Wraith maybe half a second before the implications hit home and he clued in, eyes widening as he mentally connected the dots.
"I'm sure there's a pharmacy open at this hour!" He said, scrambling to get out of bed.
Later that morning...
The Personal Medical Scanner was a device designed by MediCure Pharmaceuticals as a small, affordable piece of technology that could reveal a person's entire current biometrics after scanning a small blood sample. It continued to blink blue, processing the information retrieved from its bioscanner and filtering the data through its preset programming. Two minutes later, it displayed its findings, much to the relief of Ahsoka.
"Okay, I'm not fertile." She announced, her shoulders sagging as she relaxed.
"Thank the Force." Wraith agreed, breathing a sigh of relief as he rubbed his temples. "That was dicey."
"Agreed." Powering down the device, a fully-clothed Ahsoka sat next to Wraith on the disheveled bed, both of them calming down after the sudden intensity of the morning. "I'm sorry, I-"
"Don't be." Wraith interjected, sensing what she wanted to unnecessarily apologize for. "Last night just kind of... unfolded for both of us. One thing led to another, something we couldn't have been prepared for." He explained. "But now we know better and we'll be prepared. Here," he added, passing her a small container, "morning-after pills. You keep some and I'll keep some."
"Thanks." Ahsoka tucked the capsule into her belt and made sure it was both secure and hidden. Something nagged at her, though, a thought about this whole moment of fear that she couldn't quite shake. There was a level of interest to it all, a kind of fascination with what could've happened. "Wraith... what would we do if we'd forgotten?" She asked. The super-soldier turned to her, slightly surprised by her question.
"At this point, I'm not sure." He honestly responded. This was something they were, at the moment, trying to prevent. He hadn't considered alternate possibilities. "I think that'd be something where... we'd cross that bridge when we came to it." Wraith continued with a shrug.
"What would be so bad about having a child?" A curious Ahsoka asked. Wondering just where she was going with this, Wraith decided to examine the current facts as they stood.
"It's a question of timing, really." He replied, taking her hands in his. "Maybe one day we could. But not right now, not with the war and our places in it." He added in elaboration. They already had plenty on their plates, what with a secret relationship (which had just hit the big time) and being military commanders. A child would simply be too much. "I'm sure there's plenty of teenage parents out there, but with our current responsibilities we're just not ready." Ahsoka nodded at his answer and then lightly chuckled.
"It's funny," she mused, "people already expect us to lead armies and win battles. They rest the fate of whole worlds on our shoulders... surely parenting would be far less stressful." She hadn't even considered the notion that, as a Jedi, she shouldn't. Wraith smirked at the notion. Maybe they were ready after everything they'd gone through. The galaxy had forced them both to grow up in a hurry, surely both were mature enough by now to handle the responsibilities of an adult life.
"Wars are temporary, parenthood is forever." Wraith replied. "But, for the record, I think you'd make an amazing mother." Ahsoka smiled.
"And you'd make a terrific father, I know it." She responded, hugging him. Wraith kept her close, his head resting between her montrals.
"One day, 'Soka." He quietly promised, pressing a kiss to her tails. "One day."
Ahsoka returned to the Temple without arousing any suspicion, going about her day as though nothing had happened the night before. Morning, afternoon and evening passed and no one approached her to discuss anything out of the ordinary. As far as the Jedi were concerned, nothing had transpired.
But that was the one problem with sleeping with a member of the enemy faction: all the ramifications that came with it.
In the time following her night of passion with Wraith, Ahsoka suffered from an endless onslaught of terror that plagued every step she took. What if someone found out? What if the Council already knew? What would happen to her if they did find out?
Ahsoka had a feeling she knew and none of it would be glamorous at all.
The Council would likely expel her from the Order, her Master would hate her for what she did, the Clones would probably call her a slut for sleeping with the enemy. It would likely be the absolute end of her. Fortunately, she had one fact to console her; that being Wraith loved her and was there for her.
Unfortunately, he was recalled to the battlefield the day after, telling her as much in a quick communication. He promised they'd speak again as soon as he got the chance and Ahsoka knew that this was the reality of their lives, both of them having to act single despite being together. Her bed felt cold that night and she missed his warming presence now that he was off-world.
The days wore on, multiple ticking past as her night with Wraith slowly became a distant event over a recent one. And in that time, Ahsoka began to feel the taxing toll of being in a relationship. She would never tell anyone, not that she could, but she was lonely. Sure she was surrounded by people on an almost constant basis, but she deeply missed the presence of someone who adored her... someone who loved her.
And there was only one person who could fit that description.
It had been almost a week since she'd last seen him, six days since she'd last communicated with him. A small span of time, but to her it seemed like an infinity, an entire lifetime spent away from Wraith. In a word, it was unbearable.
But then, just as day seven was dawning, Master Plo came to her with news: the 104th was headed to Barkhesh... and Anakin was awake.
The forested greenery was a welcome change of pace from Galactic City. It was a real shame the war had come here too.
Darting through shrubs, over rocks and around trees, Ahsoka led the way for part of the 104th Battalion with her lightsabers lit and ready for action. She'd already carved up a company of battle droids today and it was proving to be a decent distraction from her loneliness back in the Temple. When she and Master Plo were done here, the Halls of Healing would be her first port of call as she would be overdue to pay Anakin a visit. But that was for later, her present circumstances were far more demanding.
A quick swing of her blades lopped the head off a droid as the Clones around her gunned down the rest.
"Commander! The intel was wrong, the droids are encamped below our position!" A lieutenant suddenly called.
"Then we'll split up. I'll take a handful of volunteers to root out the droids up here, the rest of you make your way down to deal with their forces. Above all, stick to the plan!" Ahsoka replied, issuing new orders. The Clones offered a chorus of affirmation and a single company stayed behind to help Ahsoka while the rest ventured after their original target. She led them onwards, deeper into the thick jungle of Barkhesh where the rest of the droids were hiding. They found them after a few minutes, a small detchament of scouts, and set to work eliminating the battle droids. The clankers didn't stand a chance against them, and Ahsoka simultaneously bisected two with a grin.
But then, bursting from the woods, came The Wraith. His pistols drawn, scarlet blaster rounds streaked through the air, striking Clones with every shot as he engaged them. Ahsoka stopped, her breath hitching and eyes widening as her gaze settled on him. Normally she would've done something to engage, but for a moment she stood rooted to the ground, her thoughts someplace distant...
Memories of that night flashed through her mind, each visual more steamy than the last. Ahsoka felt herself grow flushed, her heart beat quicker as she remembered the handsome, muscular man beneath the bloodstained armor.
She would forever look at him differently now, and he her. They now shared something that transcended all manner of lifestyles and physical confines. They were united in mind, body and soul, connected in a means few others could understand. It was this unity that gave him paused, the last trooper hitting the ground with a thud and leaving both of them alone as his sense were suddenly filled with her presence. The relative silence that followed, filled only with the thrum of her ignited blades and the rumblings of distant combat, offered them a moment to simply gaze at each other. It seemed like forever since their union and they felt drawn to one another. He holstered his weapons and Ahsoka heard his voice in her mind.
Hi.
H-H-Hi. She replied, trying to forget the vivid images that still lingered.
How are you? He asked.
I'm... good. Better now, actually. She admitted. It was true. Seeing him again was refreshing and soothed her lonesome spirit.
Really?
Yeah. It's... been a while since I've seen you. The last time was at the door of his room in the Elysium, wishing her well after their night of passion.
I know, I'm sorry. I've been real busy lately. Should I call you when this is over? He asked. That sounded good. If he had the time she would readily take him up on that.
Please do.
See you tonight, my lovely dear. He promised.
I can't wait... hot stuff. It's the first time she's ever used that as a pet name. She thinks it's corny and cheesy and an absolutely dreadful term of endearment. But she can sense his smile and that makes her smile too.
That brief conversation started a trend for them. While Wraith was busy on assignments, he and Ahsoka would share a call every single day. No matter the circumstances or time, they found time to talk to each other. Sure, they could use their bond to transmit thoughts back and forth, but there something a little more tangible about being able to see one another that using a holocom the preferred method.
It soon came to be that Ahsoka's day was not complete without a call from Wraith. Returning from Barkhesh, she quickly incorporated it into whatever routine she had and they both found themselves engaged in soft, loving conversations in a variety of situation. Whether he was knee-deep in mud and she was lying in bed, or he was just waking up while she was covered in sweat from a recent workout, they found time to be together while longing to be physically united once more.
Anakin was recovering well, his body on the verge of fully healed. Ahsoka took time to see him, but the true highlight of her day was whenever her comm emitted a subtle beep or she felt a probing question enter her mind wondering if this was a good time. It was pleasant, but it wasn't perfect.
Perfect came almost two weeks after Barkhesh when Wraith announced to her that he was coming back to Coruscant. It was then that Ahsoka learned of Wraith's apartment in the Urscru District and soon found herself there alone with him to spend another night intimately joined away from the Temple. One night turned into two, and her need to be with him was satisfied, if only for a short term. Time and circumstances might draw them apart again, but Ahsoka was confident they could make this work. Wraith was as devoted as she was to their relationship, determined to make an appearance in her life as often as possible. And yet, in his own private moments, he began to wonder about the future. They were not musings made in a cold-sweat as he feared what might become of them but, rather, simple ponderings about what could be... and maybe what should be. The future didn't have to be something to fear, not if he took control of it. Wraith may have the Force but its so-called 'life guiding principles' were far from his set of beliefs. He didn't believe in predestined fate which is why, during a momentary lull on the fields of Dantooine, he envisioned in his head the materials he might need to make a ring...
Wraith was right about one thing: their destiny was not yet set in stone. The happy reality they now faced had yet to prove itself permanent...
