Ahsoka's Private Journal

"I... I-I..."

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*sigh*

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*deep breath* "I slept with Wraith the other night."

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"N-Not just like, cuddling and falling sleep together in the same bed, but... I went... a-all the way with him."

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"He was my first. A-And I was his first."

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"He was... surprisingly gentle. It... It really felt nice. I mean, I didn't really know what to expect, all I know comes from lessons and holotexts. But he was slow and sweet and... a-and loving. It honestly felt amazing."

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"I love him. I love him a lot. Even after that night, nothing's changed about how I feel about him. If anything, I love him even more now. He just means so much to me. Wraith... well, he means the universe to me. I don't care any more if this goes against the Jedi Code. What we have is pure and wholesome. There's no way it can be dark, no way it could lead me astray. It's perfect!"

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"Although... I am worried that someone might find out. I don't know how and it's probably just an irrational fear, but I feel like I'm walking on glass around everyone. Word travels quickly around the Temple, like that one time Tharon tried to climb one of the spires late at night. The next morning, EVERYONE knew. So this... this has to be a closely guarded secret. Absolutely no one can know about what he and I did. I'm only recording this because if I don't verbally express my feelings I think I might go crazy."

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"The morning after, we, uh, had a bit of a minor pregnancy scare. Thankfully, there's nothing actually going on. I'm not sure if that was supposed to be a wake up call for us, but I am suddenly aware of the fact that I could get pregnant if we're not precise.

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"But... I am... curious. Before, I always thought this kind of thing would never happen because I'm a Jedi. But now... now it could be something that happens one day. Honestly, it's kind of exciting... in a scary way. I've never truly considered being a mother, let alone getting pregnant and having a child. But now that my reality has changed, the notion seems to be very... I don't want to say intimidating because I kinda like it. But at the same time, I'm not allowed to have any because I'm a Jedi. Then again, just because I'm 'not supposed to' doesn't mean I haven't done it. Look at me and Wraith. We're all kinds of forbidden!" *giggles*

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"He told me 'one day'. So... maybe that's the key. Maybe I should just wait for the time to be right... one day."

End of Entry