Chapter 26
************10 years ago***********
Varian was only four, but he was old enough to notice that suddenly, all the people from his village were casting pitiful glances at him with sadness in their eyes. They would talk with another adult, take a look at him again, shake their heads, and then keep talking like he wasn't there.
As the days passed, nobody explained to the four-year-old what happened. Most people in te village thought it was best not to talk about the traumatizing event to the child. Some plainly didn't care, trusting the kid would adjust. Quirin was too deep in his own grief talk to anybody, let alone find the words for his son. So all Varian knew was that one day, his Mom was here, and the next she was just… gone.
Without realizing it, the child grew up with the absolutely terrifying certainty that things could be taken away from him in the blink of an eye with no logical reason and no explanation.
Little Varian didn't want to make his Dad feel even worse by asking questions. And also, because when you are four and not mature enough to know that you are not responsible for all the world's harms, the boy believed firmly that if Mom was gone it was his fault, that he must have done something wrong, although he didn't know what.
Naturally, this young scientific mind concluded that the same thing could happen to his father. And that became his greatest fear.
So Varian became very dedicated to working hard each and every day to show his Dad that his son was special. To make him proud and give him a good reason to stay.
So he would never vanish from his life.
Varian didn't get to escape his pain in blissful unconsciousness.
No, he had to stay awake, Remyus knew. His whole system would slow down, so would its defenses and the poison would take over easily.
So the physician used some more of the hot water in the hearth and added some vinegar. He forced Varian awake by putting the bowl in front of his face, the steam coming up from it feeling like daggers up his nose. Varian blinked several times and looked around, eyes darting from side to side. He needed a few seconds to take in his surroundings. He also registered that his nausea was still there, not as strong as before, but enough to be very unpleasant. His stomach still felt upside down and painful. His whole body was pins and needles.
The boy jolted when he realized he was being held in Remyus' arms, afraid that the old man was here to pour some potion down his throat once more. He didn't want to feel the funnel in his mouth again.
"Easy, now. I'm not going to hurt you, Varian. I'm sorry about earlier, but I had no choice", said Remyus as he laid his patient back on the bed.
Varian kept his mouth shut and tried to put on a defiant face. But he was definitely too exhausted to scare anybody. Taking in the attitude all the same, Remyus decided to give the boy some space and went to the fireplace to add another log.
"You must be cold but that's to be expected", he said casually. "The blankets I gave you will keep you warm, so please keep them on you even if you are sweating."
Varian was about to talk back. But cold sweat was indeed taking hold of his small frame. He felt dizzy and unable to focus. Breathing was difficult.
He decided to give his grudges a rest and just focus on enduring those discomforts. Even though he still felt angry about the funnel, the fact that Remyus was not a member of the royal family made it easier for Varian to drop the act.
His eyes suddenly went wide and he uttered a loud gasp as his mind caught up with what his bloodshot eyes saw before. The Queen. He saw her collapse to the floor before he passed out.
With difficulty, he turned his head on the side, and his heart stopped beating in his chest. She wasn't there anymore.
She was gone.
Just like Mom.
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The large and lavishly decorated royal bedroom was eerily quiet as Fredric was sitting next to his unconscious wife in bed, holding her hand and barely holding back his tears.
He was so angry at himself. For not seeing how the love of her life exhausted herself out for the boy. He also felt like he failed Rapunzel. He gave her his word he would get help for Varian, and he couldn't say he did a very good job at that. The boy has been beaten up, poisoned and strangled. The mighty ruler of Corona wasn't even good at providing basic physical protection.
At least, Arianna tried to help him, but at what cost ?
And now, the King could only hope and pray that Varian would make it alive. He didn't want to be the one to tell his wife that the kid passed away.
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Ruddiger's worried chittering gave Remyus a start, and he immediately knew that something was wrong with the boy.
As he came closer, the old physician was shocked to find out why.
Varian was crying.
The butt of his only hand available –clenched into a fist – pressed on his left eye, he was sobbing uncontrollably. His hot tears were falling on the sides of his face and died in his hair. His whole body was rattled with violent shakings.
He couldn't talk, he could hardly breathe. He didn't react to Ruddiger's calls or pats. His body was no longer his own, his mind was blank. All he could do was cry on and on, overwhelmed by mixed emotions.
He remembered his Mom. He remembered her face, more so thanks to the portrait in his home than to his memories because he was so young. Was it because of his weary condition or because of the poison, but all he could see was a tall figure fall down on the floor, his Mom's face mingling with the Queen's. He couldn't tell who was who. He just knew he wanted them back.
Please be back. Come back and hold me once more, begged the four-year-old who still lived inside the broken teen.
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When Arianna opened her eyes at last, Fredric felt a wave of relief wash over him. Of course, Remyus checked on her when she collapsed and said she would be fine after some rest, but he couldn't help but be worried sick as long as her eyelids remains closed.
"Fredric ?" she mumbled. "What – what happened ?"
"It's all right, darling. You fainted and have been out for almost an hour now. You must take it easy."
"An hour ?" she gasped as she tried to sit up. " Varian ! What about Varian ? How is he ?"
"I've asked Remyus to keep me informed every hour, so he should be here soon. Calm down, darling, please. Since he hasn't come earlier, I think it's safe to say that the boy is still alive."
But that wasn't enough for Arianna.
She threw her blanket over and started to get up.
"Arianna…"
"No, Fredric. You know the situation he is in. If you think you can keep me here…"
"That's not what I was going to say, sweetheart."
He stood up and went to the corner of the room, where the wheelchair was stored.
"I just wanted to suggest I would take you to him myself", he explained with a soft smile.
Arianna lost her voice in surprise. That was unexpected. She looked up at him with questions in her eyes.
Fredric sighed.
"Darling, to be honest, I still don't know what to do with the boy. He has been a threat to the Kingdom and to us directly. But I also respect what you are doing for him despite all that happened. It's still beyond my understanding but… I've… I've realized I made a lot of mistakes recently. For the time being, and until the boy is better, I'll trust your judgement and follow your lead, Arianna", he concluded as he got near her and held out his hand.
Arianna's vision became blurry. She put her hand in his with a beaming smile as he helped her onto the wheelchair.
Allow me a short explanation here about how Varian had to deal with his mother's death (which is my own take on it). For me, the fact that nobody put words on his mother's death (and he probably wasn't present at the funeral either) is an issue for his logical mind, developing anxiety (because of the lack of an explanation) and eagerness to please people (especially his father) in him.
I got inspired by my son. When he was 4, our cat died. A couple of hours after I told him, he came to me and said he wanted to see her dead body. So we went to the vet for a last pat, and the day after, it was over. As if he could tick "check" in his database. I wasn't sure at the time, but now I'm certain that going to the vet helped him grasp what it meant.
Another thing is that the loss of a parent at a very young age often backfires at an older age under new circumstances. That's exactly what is happening with Varian, stressed by the situation with his father and all the recent events.
