Author's Note: For the guest who asked (and anyone else who's wondering), I really don't have an upload schedule. I just write when I can and when a chapter's finished (and polished) I'll post it. Just like with this one!
-Chapter 117: A Time to Heal-
Location: the Jedi Temple/the Dominance
"A single word is all it takes to start the healing process."
In a small diner in the midst of Galactic City, two Jedi enjoyed a moment to themselves. Away from the Order and away from prying eyes, they felt a little more relaxed and able to speak freely with one another. The relationship they had ran deep and had ever since they began to cultivate it before the first Battle of Geonosis.
"So, Master Windu recalled you, did he?" Trilla Suduri wondered, her mug of caf in both hands.
"Yeah, looks like the Separatists have launched a heavy campaign in the Outer Rim and they need a little dose of reality from yours truly." Xur Eon replied.
"Please, not while I'm drinking." Trilla snorted, barely avoiding getting caf up her nose. She managed to get her sip in as Xur rolled his eyes before setting her mug down. "Still, it must be nice to be back for a couple days."
"Yeah, it is." Xur agreed, shifting forward in his seat. "I've... missed this. Peace and quiet." He softly continued. "Been to so many damn battlefields I'm starting to have a hard time telling them apart."
"And then you'll be off to another one." Trilla finished for him. They both knew Xur was treated like an asset for the Jedi to use, a reliable powerhouse to throw at heavy-duty Separatist forces. Unfortunately for them, Xur was so good at it the understanding remained and thus he spent more time away from Coruscant than he would prefer... especially when he knew that Trilla was still here.
"Not before I get in a Sabacc game or two." He said.
"Ready for me to wipe the floor with you?" Trilla offered with a teasing smile.
"Shut up." Xur retorted with a laugh. Trilla maintained her smile. She'd forgotten how much she liked to see him laugh, to see him at ease and calmly composed. They'd shared only a handful of battlefields together and she knew what it was like to see him focused and concentrated. But it was this Xur that had become her personal preference. "Hey, you heard about Ord Mantell?" He wondered as his laughter died down.
"By this point, I'd be surprised if anyone hadn't." Trilla replied. Then she sighed, "Dangerous days we're living in, what with super-soldiers everywhere and now... death has a hyperdrive."
"Good name." Xur remarked, sipping his drink. "Especially after what it did to Master Plo." He added, and Trilla could sense his not-so-subtle anger. "Anakin said he was gone, just like that." He snapped his fingers, indicating the real blink-and-you'll-miss-it nature of the superlaser.
"Like I said, dangerous days." Trilla agreed. "Guess it's a good thing he didn't have a Padawan to leave behind."
"Well..."
"Did he?" Trilla asked, eyes widening a little.
"Not in the conventional sense, I guess." Xur replied. "You remember Ahsoka Tano, right? Togruta, Anakin's Padawan, friend of mine, I told you about her." He described. Trilla nodded, remembering several conversations where Xur spoke so fondly about her that she grew quite jealous to a point where, in her own private musings, she called her a 'horn-headed schutta'. "Well, Master Plo was the one who found her and brought her to the Temple. They'd been friends ever since." The Zabrak revealed.
"I'm guessing she hasn't learned the value of 'no attachments'?" Trilla sarcastically replied.
"Neither have we." Xur snorted before turning somber again. "But, yeah, it hit her hard. I spoke with Anakin when I got back, said she went into her quarters and hasn't come out." He shook his head sadly. While Trilla had never met the girl before, she understood Xur was good friends with her. To see him worried about someone was almost enough to give Trilla cause for concern. Almost.
Of course, Xur picked now to ask what had been on his mind. "Trilla... do you think, maybe you could talk to Ahsoka?"
"Why me? What am I supposed to say?" A bewildered Trilla questioned. She wasn't too keen on that idea at all.
"To be honest, I think she needs another woman to talk to." Xur responded. "And since you're great with people and all..." Trilla deadpanned.
"Me. Great with people." She repeated in a mocking tone.
"Well, yeah! Remember that one time on Gerrard Five? I would've starting cutting those kriffers down, but then you spoke their language and everything turned out fine." Xur explained. Trilla laughed.
"That wasn't me being great with people, Xur. That was me saving your sorry behind before you did something stupid. Again." She corrected him. "Might I add that my Togruti is very rusty."
"Yeah, yeah alright sweetheart," Xur scoffed, "But since you know me and I know her, common ground and all... I dunno. Just thought that... maybe you could try? Not sure who else she'd be open to and she needs someone to talk to."
"And why should I care?" Trilla pointedly asked. Xur quietly sipped his drink for a moment.
"Do it for me?"
Later...
An apprehensive Trilla strolled through the halls of the Jedi Temple. Even though she'd thoroughly enjoyed her little lunch-date with Xur, his request for her to try talking with the distraught Ahsoka was not something she was looking forward to. She'd oblige him, because it was Xur, but she didn't have to like it.
Still, a small part of her was looking forward to meeting such a challenge head-on.
She broke down the scenario into points: find out where she's at mentally and emotionally, find out where she wants to get mentally and emotionally, help her get there or at least on the road to getting there, then get out. Simple... in theory. She knew that Togrutas were a far more emotional species than others, which presented more roadblocks than she liked. It would mean Ahsoka would have plenty of unnecessary barriers standing between Trilla and the core issue. An intellectual, Trilla always wanted core facts and nothing else. A Togruta like Ahsoka presented a lot of 'nothing elses'.
Finding the door, Trilla composed herself. She had to be nice, or at least try to be. Raising her hand, she knocked a few times. "Ahsoka? Can I come in?" She queried, trying to sound friendly. There was no immediate response but she could sense someone on the inside. Someone who wasn't hiding their emotions very well. Grief, sorrow, pain, guilt, with plenty to spare. Xur wasn't kidding when he said she was in rough shape. Trilla knocked again. "Ahsoka?" Maybe she was asleep, maybe this could wait until she was up and about. Her slowly rising hopes were dashed when she sensed movement on the other side. Trilla steeled herself, she was likely about to see a woman who looked like she went through hell, so no sudden movements, no little remarks, just try to be sweet and nice.
When the door finally opened, Ahsoka definitely looked disheveled even though she still wore her tunic and usual attire, her reddened eyes completing the look. She sniffled and dried her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Hi..." She weakly greeted, obviously not recognizing her. Analyzing the wreck before her, Trilla forced a smile.
"I'm Trilla. I'm... a friend of Xur's." She slowly introduced. It took longer than a moment before Ahsoka suddenly clued in.
"Oh, Trilla. Yeah, I remember now." Her words, while simple, indicated she and Xur had talked about her too and Trilla made a note of that. "Yeah... c-come on in." She invited, Trilla noting her trusting nature, the raven-haired woman followed Ahsoka into her quarters. It was plain, simply furnished with only the basics, like most rooms in the Temple. It wasn't totally trashed, which Trilla supposed was a good thing. The bed, however, looked like a thermal detonator had gone off. Trilla's suspicions were confirmed when Ahsoka dropped herself back down on the bed. "Sorry if I'm not much of a talker."
"I get it." Trilla wasn't really up for talking either, so that worked. Ahsoka's gaze remained rooted to the floor, a distant look in her sad blue eyes. "Xur was worried, figured I could, uh, cheer you up." Trilla commented.
"Nice of him." Ahsoka sniffed, hugging her drawn-up knees. "He tell you we've been friends for a while?" She wondered, sounding disinterested. Yes... but even then, Trilla only partly believed him.
"Not nearly as long as him and Anakin." Trilla replied. "He, um... We heard about what happened on Ord Mantell. He-... S-Sorry about Master Plo." Thankfully, Ahsoka was still out of it just enough to seemingly not notice Trilla's own awkwardness.
"Thanks... Doesn't really bring him back though." Ahsoka muttered, looking forlorn and despondent as she likely had been for the past who knew how long. Trilla swallowed, trying to fight back against her awkwardness and the urge to flee back to her own room.
"I... I-I know." Trilla softly replied. Okay... she's really hurting. Definitely hasn't learned to let go. Let's get to that point, help her cope and move on. Her thoughts were analytical and slightly desperate, wrought partially from a desire to flee instead of help.
"It feels like my whole world is crumbling around me." Ahsoka mumbled. In that moment, Trilla sensed there was something more going on with Ahsoka, something that stemmed beyond the death of Plo Koon. Her curiosity piqued, Trilla pursued it.
"Master Koon... really meant a lot to you... didn't he?" She innocently asked, stringing together her sentences. Ahsoka did not respond right away, the small action clicking in Trilla's mind as she sensed a slight pang of division within the Togruta.
"Yeah." Ahsoka quietly answered. As much as Trilla wanted to explore more, she chose to hold off as this would likely be a dead end given the Togruta's current state. "He found me... brought me to the Temple. If... not for him..." Ahsoka trailed off, memories of Plo too painful to recall at the moment. A few more tears slid down her cheeks.
"You owe a lot to him." Trilla surmised. Although Ahsoka was not really emoting right now, Trilla could sense and hear the heaviness that came with this topic. The awkwardness seemed to pass as Trilla found herself able to relate, a repressed memory rising to the surface. "I know... what that's like." She quietly offered. After a moment of no, or was it minimal?, reaction from Ahsoka, Trilla pulled herself together and continued. "You ever hear of Effa Azulia?" The Togruta shook her head. "She was a friend of mine. We were on... Saleucami, doing a flyby over contested territory. A stray shot clipped the gunship and we were going down. Effa... shoved me out before it crashed... She saved my life." Ahsoka's gaze slowly landed on Trilla, the woman brushing a few strands of ebony hair out of her face as her eyes remained fixated on the floor. "I screamed and cried... I felt her die. And it was... the most horrendous thing I've ever felt." Trilla continued in a shaky voice. Ahsoka could sympathize. Master Plo was there one moment and then gone, just a void in the Force where he used to be.
"I... know the feeling." Ahsoka whispered. For a moment, the kinship of their sorrows bridged the gap Trilla teetered on and she found a way to connect with her. Her awkwardness subsided even further as Ahsoka asked, "I still feel it. How... Does it ever go away?" Trilla thought quickly. Summarize, encourage, sprinkle a little humour throughout. Be relatable. Understanding.
"In time." She answered. "But... there's no magical cure, no quick-fix. You have to grieve and process. To be honest, I'm terrible at following the Code to a T, so I'm not gonna tell you to let go of Master Plo." She added, smiling a little. Ahsoka did too. It was mirthless, but it was there. That's progress.
"What are you going to tell me to do then?" She wondered. Trilla mentally broke down the steps in a way that sounded probable, without going through the messy nature of her recovery process.
"Remember him. Thank the Force for who he was and his place in your life. Never forget him. But... move on in his name." She described. "Master Koon wouldn't want you sobbing for days on end, would he?" She queried, knowing the answer even if Ahsoka didn't respond.
"I guess not."
"Grief is okay, regardless of what anyone says. Just don't use it as a crutch or wallow in it." Trilla encouraged. "It's tough for you... but it's tough for everyone else as well." Speaking from experience, there was much Trilla had learned in the aftermath of Effa's death and had her fair share of tidbits to pass on to Ahsoka. "Padawan to Padawan, do what you need to cope, to come to terms with it. But then get back out there."
"I get the feeling my grieving is going to last a lot longer than my days off." The Togruta remarked, prompting Trilla to smirk.
"There is a war going on." She answered. The tone became light and Trilla could sense Ahsoka ease a little, the crushing despondency lifting every so slightly.
"Thanks Trilla." She quietly thanked.
"I can't take all the credit. This was Xur's idea." Trilla quickly replied. Ahsoka let out an audible chuckle.
"Then I'll thank him later." She determined. "But... thanks for stopping by." Her words were genuine, spoken with sincerity, enough to leave Trilla feeling a little embarrassed. She took it in stride, accepting the fact that she had just helped Ahsoka see the light in the midst of a deep blue funk.
Taking her leave, Trilla decided it was best to let Ahsoka sort herself out now that she had some options to work with. Once her quarter doors sealed shut, Trilla exhaled, feeling a little freer now.
Alright, there's my good deed for the day. She sardonically thought. Guess I better let Xur know she's on the mend.
79's was quiet that night, every Clone in the building reflecting on the tragic loss of Plo Koon's Battalion. Dozens of their brothers, fellow Clones they had known, spoken with, enjoyed time off with, gone... just like that. Boost, Sinker, Warthog, Wildfire, Wolffe... all of them were gone now.
Rex and Cody sat side by side at the bar, both of them nursing some drinks. They were as quiet as everyone else, but the reality seemed to weigh heaviest on them. They had been there, been on cruisers right beside General Koon's. They were there when they all died. As commanding officers, they cycled through what the motions would be. Either a new 104th would be commissioned or the battalion would be retired and stricken from the army ledger. But as men, living breathing men, they couldn't care less about bureaucracy or paperwork. They only cared about who they'd lost, about the men they'd no longer interact with, about the legacy Wolffe and his 'Wolfpack' left behind.
It seemed inhuman to do nothing about it, to disrespect them by moving on. They were their brothers, flesh and blood Clones. Just like them. Having sat here for the past hour, Rex decided it was time to do something. He signalled the barkeep for a second drink, his actions disturbing Cody's own blue funk.
"What're you doing?" He wondered.
"Giving them a proper sendoff." Rex replied, rising from his stool before climbing up and onto the bar. Everyone turned to watch him, the somber nature of the night abruptly shifting the moment Captain Rex did something out of character. Holding out the second bottle, Rex slowly turned it over and poured out the contents on the floor, pouring one out for the boys who would no longer be joining them. Everyone understood. "For the One-Oh-Fourth." He solemnly proclaimed as the last of the liquor splattered on the floor. Across 79's, everyone held up their drinks.
"For the One-Oh-Fourth!"
Aboard the Dominance...
Cold water dripped down his face as Wraith splashed himself again, feeling slightly invigorated with each wave of water. He was standing and walking around again, his body having rapidly healed in the short amount of time he was in Scipio's care after Orron. Now he stood alone in the medbay refresher, taking a moment to simply reset himself. No noises from any machinery to disturb him, no other voices. Just him and his thoughts...
Thoughts that continually shifted the longer he lingered on the pink, circular scar on his abdomen.
He tried not to think about it. Tried to continue about his business. But his eyes were constantly drawn there, drawn to that singular source of grief and sorrow. Indulging them, Wraith's hand gingerly felt out the scar. It felt like scar tissue, no different from all the others... but the ramifications were so much more tangible to him. His hand rose and felt out a smaller scar running between his neck and his shoulder. They were shaped like teeth parks, a bite made by her while in the throes of passion.
"How...?" He wondered, fingers trailing from bite mark to stab wound. He bent over and gripped the sink, suddenly feeling rather drained of energy. He closed his eyes, fighting back tears. "She stabbed me..." He exhaled shakily, the moment forever seared into his memory. This would be a turning point, no doubt. Wraith felt cold and alone, his mind desperate for some source of comfort... bu the universe would offer him none. "She stabbed me." He repeated, denial and disbelief giving way to acceptance. Ahsoka had done this, he could not hide from that truth any longer.
And the more he dwelt on it, the more he changed his tone.
"She stabbed me!" He suddenly growled, fingers tightening around the durasteel frame of the sink. His Force powers flexed, the room bending and cracking as his anger flared. His mind settled on the moment again, seeing the determined look in her face not deterred in the slightest as her shoto passed through him. His rage flared, the wound in his torso suddenly shifting as scar tissue was replaced with whole skin that blended into the rest of him. "SHE STABBED ME!" He finally roared, the mirror shattering into shards as everything around him crumpled. His Force signature became inflamed, a subtle heat billowing into a raging inferno the more he thought about how... his ex-girlfriend had done this to him. He peaked, rage spewing from his heart as he thought of only ill-will against Ahsoka, his sorrow replaced with a hungry desire for revenge... and a dire need to unleash the beast within.
A plan began to form, dark thoughts twisting his mind until it was focused solely on payback. They continued down that path until Scipio barged in.
"Wraith? Is everything alright?" He frantically asked. "I-I heard crashing and thought maybe-"
"Doc..." Wraith spoke in a low, growling tone, one that Scipio was immediately wary of. Turning towards the Pau'an, Wraith revealed livid amber eyes... tinged with the barest hint of red. The sight made Scipio swallow nervously, "is my new armor ready?"
Author's Note: Just so we're all clear, while I have Trilla and Xur together, this story is by no means connected to JSN7's Eons story, just like Eons is not connected to ROTW. We just have a neat little relationship where we're allowed to use each other's characters in our own stories. Clear as mud? Great!
What's next you ask? Well, there's a sale at the maul... everything's half off.
