Hello, all ! So, yeah, it was high time Varian got a comforting hug ! Even if he's not fully conscious. Boy, does he need affection and love to maybe start over.

I'm amazed every time at your enthusiastic reviews (and the number of clicks on this story !) ! It really gives me confidence to write more. And honestly, I didn't know I would/could write such a long story. You readers have a huge part in it too !

Ah ah, maybe I should keep the donkey idea in mind and use it somehow… but I have plans for Nigel's fate and its role in the story. All in good time…

Pure Hurt/comfort and Angst chapter ! On with it !

Chapter 28

Pain.

Pain was the first thing Varian registered.

He had the feeling he was waking up from a deep sleep, and instantly wished he hadn't. The excruciating stomach pain was there again, overwhelming his small frame like a giant wave and making him grind his teeth and tense all his muscles.

Then he realized that, as he squeezed his eyes shut against the pain, tears fell. His face was wet, and his breathing was ragged and short. Was he – was he crying ?

His eyes snapped open as he felt something soft brushing his cheek and froze. He expected to see the furry face of Ruddiger, or Remyus maybe, not the angelic face of the Queen smiling down at him, wiping his tears with the back of her hand. She was close to him, so close!

"Hey there ! You are awake", the beautiful face said softly, like they couldn't believe it, eyes brimmed with tears. "How are you feeling ?"

Varian's eyelids flickered. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, unable to process his thoughts. He felt crushed under the weight of so many questions and so many emotions at the same time. It was like they were all trying to make their way through a door that was much too small.

A searing pain erupted again. Varian's good hand found Arianna's forearm and it dug its fingers in the tender skin. Her fond smile turned into a worried frown, and her arms hugged him tighter.

Wait. Since when does she have her arms around me ? he managed to wonder in his agony.

"I'm sorry you have to be back to pain" he heard her whisper. "But you are here now and I'm so relieved, Varian." Oh, if he only knew how scared she had been, how she tried to brace herself for the worst.

As the pain subsided, Varian instinctively tried to pull away, but he found out that his body was exhausted and wouldn't let him. It went limp of its own accord, deciding for Varian that there was nothing to pull away from. Despite the awkwardness that would have made the boy blush if it weren't for his bloodless features, being held as he was wasn't such a bad feeling.

Since when had he not been held like this ?

Since when had somebody touched him at all ? Well, expect for the guards who manhandled him, and the lanky guy with a fishy look who tried to murder him.

He shuddered at the thought, the panic he felt back then still fresh in his mind. His body didn't forget either, and started to shake.

"Shhhhh", the Queen shoothed as she ran her hand through his thick hair. "What is it, Varian ?"

Varian tried to speak again, but the rasping sound that came out of his mouth was barely a word.

"You must be thirsty. Let me get some water for you", she said as she squeezed his hand gently for reassurance. She shivered. It was so cold. She made as a mental note to get Remyus as well. "Ruddiger, I need you to keep him warm."

Ruddiger didn't have to be told twice. He got up from where he was, against Varian's back, to take the warm spot where the Queen was, settling close to Varian's middle. Perhaps the raccoon could help with the stomach pain, like a real-life hot water skin.

Varian was surprised to find himself about to protest about her leaving, but he didn't have the energy. He was so tired, in every way. The nausea was back, and he was shivering like he had a fever, except he was actually rather cold. He felt awful. He started to stroke Ruddiger's fur languidly, in an attempt to put those discomforts at the back of his mind.

Arianna opened the door to find Remyus and her husband talking with Ethel. The poor old maid looked a little shaken, after her granddaughter Elora ran to her in sheer distress after she saw Nigel attack Varian.

"Elora is with her mother now", Ethel explained to the two men. "She is doing her best to calm the poor thing down. I have made it clear that she should not allow Elora back here for the moment, but…"

All heads turned to the Queen as she blurted out the words they weren't sure they would ever hear. "He's awake". As she let these words out, she felt all the tension leave her, and she would have collapsed if it weren't for the handle and the door frame she was resting on. Fredric immediately ran to her for support.

One look between them and they knew they needed a moment together. So the royal couple stayed back in the main room as Arianna let her tears of relief flow freely, the events taking their toll on her, and Fredric holding her tight, unable to hide how worn out he was too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Within moments, Varian was given the water he so desperately needed. He was already on the verge of severe dehydration, after throwing up repeatedly, sweating profusely, and crying so many tears. With kind words and sensible advice, Ethel made sure that he was not going to choke on the water he so eagerly gulped down.

Remyus grabbed the boy's wrist, eventually finding the fluttering beating of his feeble pulse. It was not racing like it did during his panic attack, it was now slow and irregular. Varian's skin was still clammy, with a sickly pale hue. The poison was definitely still in his bloodstream.

Remyus and Ethel kept on talking to him, prompting him to let them know if he was in pain, or hungry maybe, but it was pretty obvious that the boy was already in and out of consciousness with fatigue, eyelids fluttering and seldom fully open.

"Ethel', Remyus called, "Will you help me strip him ? I'd say that some frictions would make his blood be more active and keep him warm. Hopefully it will also prevent him from falling asleep."

Varian didn't try to argue or squirm away when Ethel undid his shirt. Remyus dipped a rag in a strong-smelling liquid – there might have been some alcohol in there – and started to rub it on his torso and skinny arms, while Ethel started to work on his legs. It stung a little, because of its composition he thought absentmindedly, but it quickly gave the teen a pleasant feeling of warmth on his tender skin.

Remyus was right : the frictions were keeping Varian awake, well more or less. The young alchemist let the two of them work on his body while his mind started to race.

He had an unsettling feeling, like he was sitting on the top of an anthill. He wanted –no, he needed to see the Queen's face again, and he couldn't comprehend why. This was just not adding up in his head. Of course, he was aware that she took care of him over the last few days, and at that time he was grateful. But now things were different.

Now Varian remembered what happened between him and the royal family. He remembered how it hurt when the people of Corona turned their backs on him when he needed help. He remembered Rapunzel breaking her promise and letting the guards throw him out of the castle in the snow storm. He remembered hurting and being alone. He remembered he had to turn against who he was to save his father. All those old wounds were suddenly opened raw again, and it felt like his heart was ripped apart by his resurrected anger.

But worst of all, a new pain, more dreadful than any other, burst in, burning and gripping his heart.

He remembered he hurt them. He remembered he hurt the Queen.

Unnoticed by Remyus and Ethel, Varian's good hand clenched into a fist.